I'd been given my name because my family, mostly my Pa, had a mad love for the woman. I don't like her music, though I do like to sing, so I suppose my Pa was onto something, because the name fits me like a glove. I've had to grow into it.
I used to be a gangly tomboy. Running around barefoot and bruised in the playgrounds of my youth.
It makes me laugh, actually. I cloister myself in secrets and shadows and store and copy and clean and shine books. I keep to myself so much. I can't even remember the last time I ran.
I'm so young, I know, to be this serious. I know the pretention in it. But this is what life has made me, and of course my own decisions. I'm ok, sometimes I think going out with people and having a milkshake or a pinball tournament couldn't hurt, but really, it could, because I'm so used to the sound of my own voice, my breaths, my footsteps, I turn off all the lights and all the music and just sit in it, listening to the world around me.
Sometimes, it is disquietening, and I have scared myself. I sing in the silence, once its heavy enough, and get the score of my chest.
Sometimes I hope someone will hear me, and come knock on my door, and take me out. And I'll wear red again, even pink, and silks and dance, wear high heels, and kick about like I never have.
But only sometimes..
I used to be a gangly tomboy. Running around barefoot and bruised in the playgrounds of my youth.
It makes me laugh, actually. I cloister myself in secrets and shadows and store and copy and clean and shine books. I keep to myself so much. I can't even remember the last time I ran.
I'm so young, I know, to be this serious. I know the pretention in it. But this is what life has made me, and of course my own decisions. I'm ok, sometimes I think going out with people and having a milkshake or a pinball tournament couldn't hurt, but really, it could, because I'm so used to the sound of my own voice, my breaths, my footsteps, I turn off all the lights and all the music and just sit in it, listening to the world around me.
Sometimes, it is disquietening, and I have scared myself. I sing in the silence, once its heavy enough, and get the score of my chest.
Sometimes I hope someone will hear me, and come knock on my door, and take me out. And I'll wear red again, even pink, and silks and dance, wear high heels, and kick about like I never have.
But only sometimes..