Log 1: On Earth.
Date: 17:09:2059
It is a complicated subject which leads me here. I am a married woman you see. An unhappily married woman, living in a world that is very much unhappy as I am in my life. There are wars outside my doors that I can only begin to describe. War against the very likes of me and people similar to me. We are suffering to fit in. To be understood and recognized for who we are, mutants. It's what the people different from us call us. Are we any different from them' I don't think we are.
I live in a world where people are married and live lives based on this belief of happiness. But the question of if it's real is always asked from person to person' Are we truly ever happy' I believe there is a way to be happy, but pure happiness, the concept of "happily ever after" is a myth meant only for the cause of hope, and it's lost. So very, very lost.
I am in hiding, posing as a Homo-Saipan in a world where the new specials of Homo-Superior is taking over. Fear is gripping at me constantly and I find the only thing I can worry about is my marriage. Constantly I wonder if today is the day that I realize if I'm delaying the inevitable. Still it hasn't come.
I am a student, trying to make better my life in a world that would tear that life from me in a heartbeat. My husband seems to be lost to me as well. He doesn't seem to care about the words I write, about the hopes I have in my living onto the next day. School is for retards he says, tells me that school is a pointless factor in making it big, but he's wrong. In this age school is the only way to make a life. It was the same fifty years ago, and it will be the same fifty years from now. Still he holds no values that I find myself further clinging to. Why doesn't he understand that'
He works for minimum wage, driving food from place to place. Each evening to him is the worst day in his life, yet here I am waiting like a good wife at home each night. Even though he always comes home from work two hours late, no questions asked. He says that he was closing, that his tips were enough to make it for two days in this time. I'm happy, I don't ask questions, even if I know I should.
Still I keep up with my schooling, I find myself opening my eyes to things. Each time I have to ask myself why' This weekend my husband made an overly well end in tip profits. In one day, what could have kept us comfortable for a week, was gone. I do not know where it went. Nor, do I know where it could have gone. He says nothing, tells me nothing of where this money was going, he just tells me not to worry. But I do. Constantly I find myself doing so.
He knows that my schooling is important to me, knows that it's the best thing that I can do to make me" happy. Still that emotion plagues me. Disturbs me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I write my papers for school and he gets so angry. So very angry. I try my best to keep up with the house and work a job, but it's never enough. Even though I know he's tired from his work, does that still give him reason to come home and push me around while he makes a mess, sleeps, eats, and doesn't help me maintain the house" I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Granted I spend most of my free time on the key pad, typing up school work, browsing the databases for good reading material, or listening to music. I think I do it just to avoid his talking. He talks so much and it makes me wonder. It's always things about what he knows, and he always acts like he knows what a hundred year old wouldn't be able to learn unless they lived another fifty years. All the things he "knows" is something that you cannot argue with, because his word is absolute in the house. To question his knowledge is to question your safety around him.
I'm not saying that he's physically abusive, and I'm not saying that he would try and kill me if I question. But he has a temper you see, a bad one. It's not a wonderful temper, it's not a pleasurable temper, it's a mean temper. He says he refuses to hit me, and I'm understanding on that because I know if he does he wouldn't be able to find a safe hiding place. Instead he yells, he demands again and again. He fusses and whines until he gets me to pull back what I said. He won't let me speak unless its words he preapproved. What have I gotten myself into'
That's the thing. I'm scared that if I leave him, I will lose my freedom. He knows my secret, he knows that I can move things that should not be moved by a female unless they were stronger then the world's strongest man. He know that I can speak through minds, in fact he demands that before I do anything I ask him that way, even in private. I like to use my voice, but he won't let me. Still, I'm afraid to leave because I don't want to go to the camps.
The camps are where they've been sending people like me. They call them safety measures to assure that the mutants are safe, but once you get sent to one, you never come back. They're killing mutants left and right on the street these days, children are being "put out of their misery." Times are dangerous to be me and if I run, I will most surely be caught and put in a camp, worse, killed. For now it seems that my husband is the only thing protecting me. Saving me from losing my life, no matter how sad it might be. I just' I wish there was some way out of this world, I wish there was something that could save me, but I haven't found it and I don't know if I ever will.
They found the Aburns. The whole family was my kind, and they killed their children. All I could do was watch, even though I wanted to safe them. I'm such a coward, but that's how they're keeping us hidden or just from using our gifts, they are trying their hardest to scare us out from hiding. I almost lost it, I almost used them. I'm such a coward. I should have helped them.
I wish this was a different world. I wish there was happiness, but' that's just not possible. I want to be free.
I should go someone is coming.
Love,
Oliver J Rogue
It is a complicated subject which leads me here. I am a married woman you see. An unhappily married woman, living in a world that is very much unhappy as I am in my life. There are wars outside my doors that I can only begin to describe. War against the very likes of me and people similar to me. We are suffering to fit in. To be understood and recognized for who we are, mutants. It's what the people different from us call us. Are we any different from them' I don't think we are.
I live in a world where people are married and live lives based on this belief of happiness. But the question of if it's real is always asked from person to person' Are we truly ever happy' I believe there is a way to be happy, but pure happiness, the concept of "happily ever after" is a myth meant only for the cause of hope, and it's lost. So very, very lost.
I am in hiding, posing as a Homo-Saipan in a world where the new specials of Homo-Superior is taking over. Fear is gripping at me constantly and I find the only thing I can worry about is my marriage. Constantly I wonder if today is the day that I realize if I'm delaying the inevitable. Still it hasn't come.
I am a student, trying to make better my life in a world that would tear that life from me in a heartbeat. My husband seems to be lost to me as well. He doesn't seem to care about the words I write, about the hopes I have in my living onto the next day. School is for retards he says, tells me that school is a pointless factor in making it big, but he's wrong. In this age school is the only way to make a life. It was the same fifty years ago, and it will be the same fifty years from now. Still he holds no values that I find myself further clinging to. Why doesn't he understand that'
He works for minimum wage, driving food from place to place. Each evening to him is the worst day in his life, yet here I am waiting like a good wife at home each night. Even though he always comes home from work two hours late, no questions asked. He says that he was closing, that his tips were enough to make it for two days in this time. I'm happy, I don't ask questions, even if I know I should.
Still I keep up with my schooling, I find myself opening my eyes to things. Each time I have to ask myself why' This weekend my husband made an overly well end in tip profits. In one day, what could have kept us comfortable for a week, was gone. I do not know where it went. Nor, do I know where it could have gone. He says nothing, tells me nothing of where this money was going, he just tells me not to worry. But I do. Constantly I find myself doing so.
He knows that my schooling is important to me, knows that it's the best thing that I can do to make me" happy. Still that emotion plagues me. Disturbs me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I write my papers for school and he gets so angry. So very angry. I try my best to keep up with the house and work a job, but it's never enough. Even though I know he's tired from his work, does that still give him reason to come home and push me around while he makes a mess, sleeps, eats, and doesn't help me maintain the house" I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Granted I spend most of my free time on the key pad, typing up school work, browsing the databases for good reading material, or listening to music. I think I do it just to avoid his talking. He talks so much and it makes me wonder. It's always things about what he knows, and he always acts like he knows what a hundred year old wouldn't be able to learn unless they lived another fifty years. All the things he "knows" is something that you cannot argue with, because his word is absolute in the house. To question his knowledge is to question your safety around him.
I'm not saying that he's physically abusive, and I'm not saying that he would try and kill me if I question. But he has a temper you see, a bad one. It's not a wonderful temper, it's not a pleasurable temper, it's a mean temper. He says he refuses to hit me, and I'm understanding on that because I know if he does he wouldn't be able to find a safe hiding place. Instead he yells, he demands again and again. He fusses and whines until he gets me to pull back what I said. He won't let me speak unless its words he preapproved. What have I gotten myself into'
That's the thing. I'm scared that if I leave him, I will lose my freedom. He knows my secret, he knows that I can move things that should not be moved by a female unless they were stronger then the world's strongest man. He know that I can speak through minds, in fact he demands that before I do anything I ask him that way, even in private. I like to use my voice, but he won't let me. Still, I'm afraid to leave because I don't want to go to the camps.
The camps are where they've been sending people like me. They call them safety measures to assure that the mutants are safe, but once you get sent to one, you never come back. They're killing mutants left and right on the street these days, children are being "put out of their misery." Times are dangerous to be me and if I run, I will most surely be caught and put in a camp, worse, killed. For now it seems that my husband is the only thing protecting me. Saving me from losing my life, no matter how sad it might be. I just' I wish there was some way out of this world, I wish there was something that could save me, but I haven't found it and I don't know if I ever will.
They found the Aburns. The whole family was my kind, and they killed their children. All I could do was watch, even though I wanted to safe them. I'm such a coward, but that's how they're keeping us hidden or just from using our gifts, they are trying their hardest to scare us out from hiding. I almost lost it, I almost used them. I'm such a coward. I should have helped them.
I wish this was a different world. I wish there was happiness, but' that's just not possible. I want to be free.
I should go someone is coming.
Love,
Oliver J Rogue