The door to the studio was nudged open as she eased inside the black dark of the room. Haven felt a small moment of solace in being claimed and surrounded by that darkness as she leaned against the wall with a sigh.
The masquerade if anything had perhaps been a poor idea. The twisting sharp of emotions played within her, swinging chaotically to the point the night out with Sabin had left her near sick with the bittersweet reminder of what had been. He was one confusing mess of emotion to her. One moment it near seemed like the old days between them, the next he was ordering her about like a scrap under his shoe.
Grumbling she flicked the light on just when her eyes adjusted, leaving her pupils to swell and dilate in a struggle to adjust. The action sent her world spinning as the booze seemed to slosh within her. A wild, reckless tide of alcohol and emotion she could get swept up in.
The black and red mask was set on the mike stand, left to dangle against the gaudy blue Christmas bow she had attached to it just a year ago. Those perhaps had been the better times. She couldn't really say she ever recognized a time when it hadn't been good. No matter how behind they were on payments, even in those months when they had been living out of their cars or just living day by day, Haven never saw it so bad.
Typical that she'd be so deluded with positive theories and her thread bare hold on hope that she wouldn't see how everything really was in its own form and fashion falling apart around her.
Haven didn't cry. She had lost the impulse and necessity of tears ages ago. It just never solved anything. Even now with all that conflict and confusion twisting inside of her she just couldn't let the emotion out.
All tucked nice and away inside of her to eat away at her spirit and tear her apart always those emotions would be. Some nights she was a goddess, namely on the stage she could become such' but other nights well she was just her own worst enemy.
A hand palmed along her hair as she sank down in the darkness after the light was turned off once more. Haven found she liked the darkness to claim her for now. It could swallow her whole and she'd never make a sound of protest. This moment was enough as her head tipped back to touch the wall behind her and she closed her eyes while humming some little melody to keep her company.
These were her personal moments to herself where she maybe, just once, just a bit she could let her guard down. This was easily a place and time where no southern man or fellow rock star could get under her skin and leave her shaken.
Just for tonight she could break down some and leave her spirit raw and open to the night. Maybe the darkness would devour her, but for now it felt good. Far too good.
The masquerade if anything had perhaps been a poor idea. The twisting sharp of emotions played within her, swinging chaotically to the point the night out with Sabin had left her near sick with the bittersweet reminder of what had been. He was one confusing mess of emotion to her. One moment it near seemed like the old days between them, the next he was ordering her about like a scrap under his shoe.
Grumbling she flicked the light on just when her eyes adjusted, leaving her pupils to swell and dilate in a struggle to adjust. The action sent her world spinning as the booze seemed to slosh within her. A wild, reckless tide of alcohol and emotion she could get swept up in.
The black and red mask was set on the mike stand, left to dangle against the gaudy blue Christmas bow she had attached to it just a year ago. Those perhaps had been the better times. She couldn't really say she ever recognized a time when it hadn't been good. No matter how behind they were on payments, even in those months when they had been living out of their cars or just living day by day, Haven never saw it so bad.
Typical that she'd be so deluded with positive theories and her thread bare hold on hope that she wouldn't see how everything really was in its own form and fashion falling apart around her.
Haven didn't cry. She had lost the impulse and necessity of tears ages ago. It just never solved anything. Even now with all that conflict and confusion twisting inside of her she just couldn't let the emotion out.
All tucked nice and away inside of her to eat away at her spirit and tear her apart always those emotions would be. Some nights she was a goddess, namely on the stage she could become such' but other nights well she was just her own worst enemy.
A hand palmed along her hair as she sank down in the darkness after the light was turned off once more. Haven found she liked the darkness to claim her for now. It could swallow her whole and she'd never make a sound of protest. This moment was enough as her head tipped back to touch the wall behind her and she closed her eyes while humming some little melody to keep her company.
These were her personal moments to herself where she maybe, just once, just a bit she could let her guard down. This was easily a place and time where no southern man or fellow rock star could get under her skin and leave her shaken.
Just for tonight she could break down some and leave her spirit raw and open to the night. Maybe the darkness would devour her, but for now it felt good. Far too good.