Topic: RhyDin 911

Cry Havoc

Date: 2016-04-08 23:13 EST
"911, what?s your emergency.."

"Oh my God, send someone quick....my baby is out on the ledge..." came the frantic voice, followed be screams. "She's going to fall, send someone....send someone."

"Ma'am....take a breath. I'll send someone, need to tell me where the emergency is." spoke with a clear, calm voice, the sound of typing echoes in the background.

"I'm outside, look up up..she's on the ledge." the women screams in panic and drops the phone.

"Ma'am....Ma'am...."

"Sorry, I thought she was going to fall..." spoken out of breath. "...dropped the phone to catch her. Oh God, please send someone, hurry...she's going to fall.."

"Yes Ma'am....tell me where you are located so I can dispatch emergency to you."

"I'm at Panther Parkway....building 107....are you sending someone, send someone now..."

Muffled sound of the dispatch being made. "Yes Ma'am, fire and rescue is on the way. Stay with me on the phone. How old is your baby..?"

"She's only two..." the woman screams, fearing the baby will fall.

"How far up is she..?"

"I'm on the third floor. She can't jump that far.."

A moment of silence.

"Ma'am.....she can't jump that far..?" a pause. "Ma'am....how did the baby get out of the ledge..?"

"I left the window open....Oh my God....those damned pigeons, she went after a pigeon....I keep telling them they need to do something about the pigeons lading outside my window. It drives her crazy.." more screaming.

"Ma'am....your baby climbed out the window after a pigeon.." A long pause. "Ma'am....what?s your baby's name..?"

"Baby....Oh God, where are they, she is going to fall.." panic.

"Ma'am.....if baby a cat.?"

"Yes....tell them to hurry.."

"Dispatch, belay that call, baby on ledge is a feline, not an actual baby."

"Ma'am....we are not animal rescue....might I subjest to temp Baby back in with a can of tuna."

"What do you mean, she is going to fall, you have to send someone..." more screams....and a few rather colorful words follow.

Cry Havoc

Date: 2016-04-09 13:48 EST
Dispatcher:"911 What is your emergency?"

Caller: "Someone broke into my house and and drank all of my beer."

Dispatcher: "Excuse me?"

Caller: I had a six pack of beer.....left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had broken in and taken it."

Dispatcher: " Do you think they are still in the house Ma'am.." Was anything else taken?"

Caller: " No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!"

Dispatcher: "Does anyone else live in the house with you that could have taken it."

Caller: "Yes, my 17 year old son, but he's too young to drink."

Dispatcher: "Well, where is your son now Ma'am..?"

Caller: "He just left to go hang with his friends."

Dispatcher: "......and you don't think he took the beer..?" Like, really..?

Caller: "No, like I said, this has happened before...my beer keeps vanishing. I wake up in the morning and it's vanished without a trace."

Dispatcher: "You uh....might wanna start keeping the beer locked in your room Ma'am..."

Cry Havoc

Date: 2016-04-22 08:15 EST
Dispatcher: "911, what?s your emergency?"

Caller: "I want my God damn hamburger."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am....did you say you wanted a...hamburger" This is 911 emergency ma'am..."

Caller: "I know what mother **** number I called, and I want my mother **** hamburger."

Dispatcher:" Ma'am, this is 911, we don't take orders.."

Caller: Impatient tut follow with a brassy sigh. "Not stupid, now look....I called cause this dumb mother **** won't give me my burger. I done paid my dollah eighty seden and I want my motha fucking burger."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am, I take it you're at a drive through.." Where are...."

Caller; cutting off dispatch: "Only one *** burger place open at this time.....look, you need to just come bring your ass and make this mother *** give me my burger.."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am, my ass is staying right here, this is dispatch. Now, I caaaan.....send an officer if you need assistance. Not sure what they can do about the burger." Spoken with a smile.

Caller: "What the hell....awww nah motha ****....aww, now ain't this some sheeeet....this motha gown push up on me in his car...What the *** you think yous gunnah do.." I'll kick ya God Damn window out....I'm not gunna move till I get my God damn burger.."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am....are you in a car, or are you standing at the drive through window...?"

Caller: "Fool, does it sound like I'm in a mothah *** car.." They done stole my dollar eighty seven....I want my burger, AND my money....so, just hurry up.." car horn honking, the sound of a male voice yelling. ".....shut the hell up.....mind ya-own....don't tell me to move, I'ma not going no where till I gets my burger...I want what mines."

Dispatcher: "Officer is on the way ma'am."

Caller: "...well, give me your **** burger then. ......I didn't think so. " clearly still holding a.....conversation.....with the unknown male. "...see, see...now there the po-lice....hah.."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am.....ma'am..."

Caller: "Aw hell, you juss had to send the biggest blackest mothah **** there was, huh.....God damnit....**** for a ****..."

Dispatcher: "Ma'am....you have a problem because the officer is black..?"

Caller: A LOUD tut. "Fool, go'on and shut the hell up, that's my damn son."

Cry Havoc

Date: 2016-04-25 17:27 EST
Dispatcher: "911, what?s your emergency?"

(empty air, faint hint of breathing)

Dispatcher: "Hello...this is 911, do you have an emergency?"

(More faint sounds, a small whimper.)

Dispatcher: "Hello..." Does someone need help?"

Caller: "I.....I'm lost..." child's voice.

Dispatcher: "You don't know where you're at.." How old are you..?"

(empty air)

Dispatcher: "Hello....are you still there..?"

Caller: "I'm five....I don't know how I got here......I'm in a box....it's dark......I'm scared...I want to go home" voice turns to sobbing tears.

Dispatcher: "I'm here....can you tell me your name sweetie.."

Dispatcher: "Hello..." Are you still there dear.." Hello.....hello..."

(Empty air.....then the line goes dead.)