Send Me an Angel
The wise man said just raise your hand And reach out for the spell Find the door to the promised land Just believe in yourself
Hear this voice from deep inside It's the call of your heart Close your eyes and you will find The way out of the dark
Here I am Will you send me an angel" ~ composed by Rudolf Schenker, written by Klaus Meine
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Daffodils and Roses, a bouquet of each went into the vases at the base of the overlarge headstone.Leave it to his father to insist on the immense stone anvil as a fitting monument. Nick had waited to come, because he wasn't sure he could make the trip alone. He'd waited longer to let Claire have her moment, staying well back from her. He could hear words, but their form was lost to distance and the sinking feeling inside him. This wasn't the only stop for her in this place of eerie silences and macabre horizons. Even after she'd moved off he hesitated, watching her go and wondering how she'd known what to say when he was at a loss. The size of the stone only became truly apparent when he was next to it. Its base was smaller than the rest of it. At its widest it easily covered the space for two people to be laid out. Both of their names were chiseled into the face of it. The roses rested with Annabeth, they'd been her favorite. His father had loved the Narcissus, though Nick couldn't seem to remember him saying the why of it.
"Stopped by a florist in the marketplace. Hope you both like them, it's cold for roses and daffodils. I'll plant some when the weather turns." The air was cold, the ground would be colder, but Nick sat anyway. He gave his head a shake to prevent himself from being overcome with emotions.
"Avy wanted to come, but I think since she'd already managed to get a day off from her training that they weren't going to let her do it again, regardless of the reason." He shifted, pulling his feet inward and sitting in Lotus. "I get it now, it took me being away, but I do understand about some things now. I get why you didn't try for more, and why you couldn't stop no matter what. I get why you encouraged me to do the thing you couldn't make yourself do. I did do it, but don't tell anyone because you're the only one I've told." It was difficult for Nick to speak, knowing there'd be no answer from anyone.
"Does it make you happy, knowing that you're remembered at least' Don't answer that it's a stupid question. I want to be too though, remembered forever I mean. I won't be able to do that for you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get here sooner. It just wasn't the right time. I'm angry at you, I don't know how long that is going to last. I don't mean to be, and it isn't all the time. It's just easier to be angry than anything else. I think maybe Aunt Claire feels guilty about not stopping you. She's likely the only one alive that could have. The thing is dad, you knew and you did it anyway. You could have said something, we could have prepared better. That would have meant giving up secrets, you don't like giving up secrets. I was there, and I did it, or I believe I did. It cost us everything though. I'm only here because, it doesn't matter. Here I am." Nick folded his hands in his lap trying to keep his finger warm and failing as another dead silence filled the air.
"I went home, just long enough to pick up a few clothes. I've been staying with Alex and Avy. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now. Kind of like the hole you left behind, we passed it on the way here. They've got it fenced off trying to figure out exactly what they should be doing. I think you made a few official types mad at you too. At least I'm not the only one you're not answering. Here's the thing dad. I'm not sure I can be you, the shop, it's not something I feel I should be doing. I'll still make things, but you worked your entire life in that place. I didn't say that how I meant it, what I mean is, I'll never be able to fill the place you left vacant no matter how much I would want to. But where does that leave me" When you were my age, you were traveling. I'd like to do that too, see new places, find out where I belong. I try to remember things you've said to me, but right now I just can't. All I can do right now is just talk even if my words don't make any sense." Nick gave up trying to keep his fingers warm and free, shoving them into his pockets instead.
"I guess I wanted to tell you about Addie, she didn't come back with me. No, she couldn't come back with me. I didn't come back, I was brought back. I wanted to tell you about that too, how" no, I'm not ready yet. Maybe next time. I told you about Avy already. That reminds me of something you said though. You're wrong dad, she's not just a girl. I know you understand that. I'm not holding it against you, I just thought you should know is all. I do know what it means. One day I'll be here, or someplace similar, and be the one who's visited. I actually get a lot of comfort from that thought. I hope you do too. I thought I'd have more to say. I probably do and just won't remember until I'm long gone. Then next time I'll have other things to talk about. This would be easier if you could just drop in from time to time and listen for me. I...it's time to go. Take care of him Annabeth, he's big and impulsive and needs someone to watch over him." Nick pushed himself up off of the ground and headed for the car. The windows were so darkly tinted, he couldn't tell if there was anyone inside of it or not. It was unlocked though, and as good a place as any to turn up the music and break the silence.
The wise man said just raise your hand And reach out for the spell Find the door to the promised land Just believe in yourself
Hear this voice from deep inside It's the call of your heart Close your eyes and you will find The way out of the dark
Here I am Will you send me an angel" ~ composed by Rudolf Schenker, written by Klaus Meine
—————————————————————-
Daffodils and Roses, a bouquet of each went into the vases at the base of the overlarge headstone.Leave it to his father to insist on the immense stone anvil as a fitting monument. Nick had waited to come, because he wasn't sure he could make the trip alone. He'd waited longer to let Claire have her moment, staying well back from her. He could hear words, but their form was lost to distance and the sinking feeling inside him. This wasn't the only stop for her in this place of eerie silences and macabre horizons. Even after she'd moved off he hesitated, watching her go and wondering how she'd known what to say when he was at a loss. The size of the stone only became truly apparent when he was next to it. Its base was smaller than the rest of it. At its widest it easily covered the space for two people to be laid out. Both of their names were chiseled into the face of it. The roses rested with Annabeth, they'd been her favorite. His father had loved the Narcissus, though Nick couldn't seem to remember him saying the why of it.
"Stopped by a florist in the marketplace. Hope you both like them, it's cold for roses and daffodils. I'll plant some when the weather turns." The air was cold, the ground would be colder, but Nick sat anyway. He gave his head a shake to prevent himself from being overcome with emotions.
"Avy wanted to come, but I think since she'd already managed to get a day off from her training that they weren't going to let her do it again, regardless of the reason." He shifted, pulling his feet inward and sitting in Lotus. "I get it now, it took me being away, but I do understand about some things now. I get why you didn't try for more, and why you couldn't stop no matter what. I get why you encouraged me to do the thing you couldn't make yourself do. I did do it, but don't tell anyone because you're the only one I've told." It was difficult for Nick to speak, knowing there'd be no answer from anyone.
"Does it make you happy, knowing that you're remembered at least' Don't answer that it's a stupid question. I want to be too though, remembered forever I mean. I won't be able to do that for you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get here sooner. It just wasn't the right time. I'm angry at you, I don't know how long that is going to last. I don't mean to be, and it isn't all the time. It's just easier to be angry than anything else. I think maybe Aunt Claire feels guilty about not stopping you. She's likely the only one alive that could have. The thing is dad, you knew and you did it anyway. You could have said something, we could have prepared better. That would have meant giving up secrets, you don't like giving up secrets. I was there, and I did it, or I believe I did. It cost us everything though. I'm only here because, it doesn't matter. Here I am." Nick folded his hands in his lap trying to keep his finger warm and failing as another dead silence filled the air.
"I went home, just long enough to pick up a few clothes. I've been staying with Alex and Avy. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now. Kind of like the hole you left behind, we passed it on the way here. They've got it fenced off trying to figure out exactly what they should be doing. I think you made a few official types mad at you too. At least I'm not the only one you're not answering. Here's the thing dad. I'm not sure I can be you, the shop, it's not something I feel I should be doing. I'll still make things, but you worked your entire life in that place. I didn't say that how I meant it, what I mean is, I'll never be able to fill the place you left vacant no matter how much I would want to. But where does that leave me" When you were my age, you were traveling. I'd like to do that too, see new places, find out where I belong. I try to remember things you've said to me, but right now I just can't. All I can do right now is just talk even if my words don't make any sense." Nick gave up trying to keep his fingers warm and free, shoving them into his pockets instead.
"I guess I wanted to tell you about Addie, she didn't come back with me. No, she couldn't come back with me. I didn't come back, I was brought back. I wanted to tell you about that too, how" no, I'm not ready yet. Maybe next time. I told you about Avy already. That reminds me of something you said though. You're wrong dad, she's not just a girl. I know you understand that. I'm not holding it against you, I just thought you should know is all. I do know what it means. One day I'll be here, or someplace similar, and be the one who's visited. I actually get a lot of comfort from that thought. I hope you do too. I thought I'd have more to say. I probably do and just won't remember until I'm long gone. Then next time I'll have other things to talk about. This would be easier if you could just drop in from time to time and listen for me. I...it's time to go. Take care of him Annabeth, he's big and impulsive and needs someone to watch over him." Nick pushed himself up off of the ground and headed for the car. The windows were so darkly tinted, he couldn't tell if there was anyone inside of it or not. It was unlocked though, and as good a place as any to turn up the music and break the silence.