Topic: RhyDin's Finest News Source

Garlic News Network

Date: 2013-05-20 19:02 EST
Duel of Swords Reform Shunned

THE ARENA———Despite vocal protests and detailed proposals to reform the popular Duel of Swords and its ranking system, community leaders have run into the proverbial stop hit.

"I've always said that when you look at the ranks, it doesn't make any sense," historian and dueling enthusiast Wade Kenny said dejectedly as his ideas were slashed to bits as if they were a lateral parry. "Barons with squires? That's completely ridiculous!"

Kenny's proposal included keeping the Overlord and Baron ranks, and then allowing Barons to choose vessels who would then take care of their land and fight their battles for them; the next rank would be of the Knight, then the Squire, then the Master at Arms, and finally the serf. A proposal, he said, which made as much sense as cutting after a thrust.

"Right now the ranks are all over the place and don't progress logically. And as for Master of Arms ....Master at Arms is really such a silly rank that it might as well be tossed in someplace," Kenny continued. "And when you first dueled you'd be a serf, so automatically you'd be a slave and have to do manual labor and protect the land of your chosen Baron for little to no pay or food ....but at least it would get the attendance up if people were forced to duel!" Kenny said, his idea as on target as a low cut to a ducking opponent.

Kenny smoothly sidestepped around the circular parry and into his next grand idea; disappointed yet undeterred, Kenny plans on proposing new ranks for the Duel of Fists game. "They're all named after pretty stones and it's a tough game, that doesn't seem right. So I'm going to propose Boulder, Big Rock, Little Rock, Stone, Cobble and Pebble."

Garlic News Network

Date: 2013-05-21 22:05 EST
RHYDIN CITY——-Citizens of RhyDin are caught up in election fever as the Gubernatorial race begins. While some will run, and others will weigh their options and vote after educating themselves, some have their own ideas.

"Why does a city have a governor?" asked one local who asked to not be identified in case. "I'm going to run for mayor. It makes more sense. But maybe I don't want all the responsibility. Maybe just be a councilman. Of one of those nicer parts of town, not the scary part."

Others have higher aspirations. Bob Cole made reference to running for President of RhyDin, while others expressed interest in holding titles that are not even decided by popular vote, such as Emperor, King, Dictator, God, Senator, Matt Simon, Master Blaster, Director, General Manager, and Grand Poobah.

"If people think the race for Governor will be a big deal, just wait until I announce my candidacy for Batman!" one resident hiding in the shadows exclaimed. "The governor and I can get matching red phones and help get this city straight!"