Topic: Secrets of the Confessor

Marcus O'Malley

Date: 2013-01-20 23:53 EST
1-18

Where do I start' I keep these things for a bit, then I worry about who may find them, so I toss them into the fire. I mean really, who'd think I was a priest, with thoughts like these, and the dreams I've had" I've often thought I am someone else. A person of great power and importance, then the world explodes around me, leaving me alone with darkness, but then she's there.

I care for her. When I see the marks on her neck, her body, that isn't covered, I get this feeling, deep in my gut. It's rage and I want to find out who is hurting her, and I want to show her that there are men, real men that care for her for who she is, and not what she sees herself as.

I can't explain why I feel the way I feel. I really don't think I want an explanation. She was here, admitting that she was leaving"no, telling me that she was leaving. The tone in her voice sounded as if she wouldn't make it back, or didn't care if she did. My mind is made up, I am going to seek the Captain, bless the ship, and stow away to be there for her"with her" and tell her who I really am. I may be sent to the ocean's bottom, then to hell for the feelings I harbor, but I go with a clear mind.

Father, if you have any words? any signs, now would be a good time to open my eyes.

Marcus O'Malley

Date: 2013-01-21 19:27 EST
1-18, cont.

I have to get ready for this trip. She's mentioned the cold, and I can only assume that the cold, on large, open bodies of water are going to be miserable.

I've packed a small bag with essentials, my Bible I will carry with me to speak to the Captain, Agnost, I think she said is his name. I know that he's a believer of sorts, and will allow a priest aboard. If I go as they are making ready, I've a better chance to get lost and find a spot to hide out until we are far enough from the shore they will not turn about.

I will take hardtack, leather gloves, trousers, and whatever else I can think of to get by. Then hope that these men of the sea, with their codes and beliefs will not make a man of God walk the plank, or whatever it is called. I admit freely, I know nothing of the life of a sailor.

I took a short nap, before I go to pick up the things I need. The dreams returned. I was standing somewhere high above the world. Looking down at fire and destruction. I could hear the echo of a man's deep, and menacing laughter. The sound was joyous, as if he had heard a humorous, or wasn't witnessing the same scene I was. So much pain. So much destruction. I turned to see my companion, but found myself alone.

Please, God...help me help her, and myself.