Topic: The Angel Outside

Jochin Nagadari

Date: 2012-06-19 20:31 EST
"You'll like her Jo."

Ashanti had been right.

"Blonde, nice and light skinned, like you like "em." She'd told me, over beers, again. I knew the memory by now because May died for my mistakes. I knew the memory by heart because in the end, as messed up as it was, it was May who introduced us. And she had paid the price for it. It just all added up. In the final analysis. May was just another straw on the already broken back of my self-hatred.

And that's how the trouble started in the first place.

In the beginning all I wanted was to bone her. Wheels saw how nice I cleaned up that first time we met and rued the day he had insisted on this entire ordeal to begin with.

If I had only known, in time, I'd feel the same"

So it all came back when they took the Blessing away. That feeling I couldn't get rid of no matter how hard I tried. When I was younger I'd try with the booze but it only dulled it. Made it less sharp. The coke got rid of it totally but was always too expensive. Everything else I could use to numb myself had only been a temporary resolution.

I knew something was weird when each cigarette started to hurt my throat. Started to give me that nicotine buzz. My three packs per day habit, for the first time made me sick. And then the next time I went to the bar to chug a pint of whiskey I was drunk. Actually, honest to God, stumbling around drunk.

That's when It dulled again. That self-hatred I'd never been able to shake. It was too easy to throw yourself into another person when you had no regard for yourself. When you hadn't, and never had, loved yourself. You could make them your priority because last on your list was you.

The blonde hair, the blue eyes, she'd filled that hole.

And that was the problem.

Jochin Nagadari

Date: 2012-06-19 21:38 EST
I went week to week building my tolerance up by vomiting profusely every time I dropped more money on more booze. The Chateau had been almost too nice for me for too long and a part of me wanted something rough. Something real. The Masons had always made sure we never lived in the lap of luxury so no one would ever get suspicious.

When mom took off we lived dirt poor, roach motel to roach motel. When I turned 18 and struck out on my own I hadn't known much else. I took all that money I'd earned from the small time dealing I'd done to the kids in my high school and bounced from place to place, city to city. Just long enough to know what it was like to hate who I had become. Just long enough to form a new identity I despised even more than the last.

It was my best attempt at a disassociative fugue. But every time I saw the same reflection.

Now I'd gone on another bender and the mirrors were broke. A bloody mess in each beautiful bathroom of that Chateau that I'd cleaned and had fixed before she got back from whatever new business she had going. Between me working and her working we barely saw each other. The nature of our work meant that she was doing things I'd have no idea were going down until afterward. The nature of my work was late nights and most days spent sleeping. Two passing ships. And hers was sailing into new waters every night I spent away.

The energy was wrong here again. Too clean. Too perfect. We were getting towards that white picket fence I'd always dreamed of. And I knew nothing else at this point but how to $#% it all up again.

Daniels had tried the other night. Bless his little country heart but he barely knew me.

Tonight I had actually run into Harper.

"John" Really Jo?" Hurt in the baby blues I had seen that first night and admired so.

"Really??

Blue eyes, light skin, and a body straight from the Naval Academy. The dress she wore was silver and glittered like a school of fish. We danced. We talked. We kissed.

And she agreed to go out with me.

I babbled at the diner and flirted. She had me off my game because I was nervous. That's when I knew. I knew then she saw through the crass and obnoxious loud mouth who kept those walls high and well maintained. I knew she saw something with those blue eyes that everyone else just ignored. When I held the door open for her, then let it close, somehow, someway, her hand found mine.

Oh God how I knew.

But in the end it was Benandanti who won. From that point she haunted me. I went from reckless and self-destructive to a new unhealthy relationship every few months trying to fill the giant sized leaks.

But with the Blessing I couldn't drink her away.

Without it' The best I could do was drink the memory away.

Jochin Nagadari

Date: 2012-06-19 22:56 EST
She wasn't going to leave.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make her.

It was my turn to take those torturous steps. I did. Pushing through the swinging doors of the kitchen to find my spot back at the bar. Drunk as I was I still needed more. Without it the shakes would set in and everything would start hurting again.

The guy spoke in an accent I understood as Scottish. Apologizing profusely for some perceived slight or the other. It was getting hard to focus but I took a drag and looked between him and the skirt behind the bar, the one he was apologizing to.

"Yer never gonna see her vajay if ya keep that up boss."

Just the response I wanted. Their ears perked and the one with the accent turned to look at me with surprise. But the woman' She barely responded.

It was time for the Reverend Jo to get Biblical on them.

After another long drag of nicotine and tobacco I started. "That's how ya gotta do it sometimes. Ya know?" I looked at the Scot. Then at the woman he was talking to. "See, thats why I told him that. He's puttin' ya up on some pedestal. Goin' ta tha ends a tha earth ta make it right. And at tha end he'll find yer wedding ring. And he'll be left with only his hand. Again."

I inserted myself into the conversation.

But she inserted right back.

"It's not always the case, though I hope whatever you are running from that you find enough strength in your own soul to make it right and settle."

I grumbled something incoherent. I should have known better.

I should have known better than to try and hide demons in Rhy'din when others were specifically talented at seeing them.

"I am an herbalist. Reputable" I am not sure about this, you can make judgements on your own. If you need supplies, write a list and I will see what I have, if I do not have it, I can procure it."

I didn't want to admit that it piqued my interest.

Every other time it was the detox that killed it. Going to the facility or a hospital and being pumped full of benzos, but only just enough to kill the DTs and shakes. All the rest of it' The dreams" The pain" All those demons swirling around in my head that I was sure she could reach out and touch'

There wasn't a drug in the world that could touch that. So I started to pay attention even if I went silent for a few moments.

The beard I'd grown wasn't right at all. Stubble I was used to. But not these long hairs that grew because I was too hungover every morning to shave" They were an aberration of irritation. I itched and itched. She moved around behind me so we could talk a little more private.

"Do you need anything sir?"

"A new crutch." When given the opportunity I always responded like this. I tilted the bottle as high as it could go and polished off what remained of the whiskey that turned my stomach.

"A new one leaves the same hole, but I'm sure you already know that."

I'd always told myself it wasn't ever going to be that simple, when the final reckoning came. When I finally had to deal with all this. When I had to let go of Michelle and why she left me in the first place. When I had to try and forget that she would have rather put herself through the pain and anguish of an abortion than have my child and marry me. I was going to be turning 30 soon. It was high time I stopped hating every last thing about myself.

"S'funny." I brought the tip of my cigarette to the bare, sunkissed skin of my forearm. "Back when the holes used ta fill themselves I thought I was alright. On tha straight and narrow. Fer good." There were a few similar marks in my arm. Round. Darker than the rest of my skin. I pressed the tip in and it sizzled. When I did it before" It always hurt. But not for long before the Blessing kicked in and healed it. This time it was just another bloody hole.

"But then I realized ain't nothin' that simple. Right?"

She reached into her bag and rubbed something onto that bit of round bloody skin. Something was in it that cooled the burn. I wanted to push her away but was too drunk.

"You are right, nothing is that simple, but self destruction is not the answer. It is not my place to preach to you. What I know is that whatever you're running from you have to face....even when you don't want to. Darkness can't hide in the light." Maybe she sounded top clich", but it was her truth. "There are things that never go away, but there are ways to learn to deal with them." She took her finger away from my arm. And left the vial on the bar next to me.

"There are ways ta learn how ta deal with tha fact that tha person you hate tha most in yer life is yerself?" If I sounded doubtful it was because it had been an entire lifetime and I had yet to find a way.

She had her own doubts. It was in every little bit of her voice I should have known better. Back on earth it was only the normal I ever ran into. On Rhy'din I ran a chance of running into someone who knew me without ever meeting me every time I stepped out my door. "Do you want to find the way' Do you really want to find the way?"

"Been tryin' ta find tha way fer a while now. Always seemed ta get sidetracked." Most of what I consumed now was alcohol. Whiskey. Scotch when I felt fancy. The lack of food made me weak sometimes. But the lack of alcohol made me tremble. Betweeen my fingers I placed the cigarette on my lips and inhaled again. "You know a way darlin'" Because I pounded every last one a those 12 steps inta tha ground."

"Self depravation is a disease few people understand." She must have been some sort of empath. Because she looked just as tormented as I felt. "There are ways to burn away the threads of a soul which seek to kill, steal and destroy. I will keep you in my prayers, sir."

She knew a way. A better way than all the other times I tried. A better way than those shattered pieces still in each mirror I'd punched.

Somewhere in those broken reflections was Michelle, sitting on my bed, reading, like always. Cavanaugh knew I would get upset if I couldn't get home to her because she was starting to show.

"How?" I asked when I stopped seeing her hazel eyes as she rubbed her stomach unknowingly while she read.

She had already turned to go but paused. "If you need help, I will help you, but it will be done my way." Her blue eyes glanced at the mirror and the near empty room looked like a gate way. For a moment I swore they were hazel.

I blinked and hazel eyes looked from her book to me. "I like the name Anya for a girl." I propped up on my elbow and admired her in the low light of the lamp next to our bed. "What if it's a boy though?"

She turned fully and focused on me. Eyes hazel. Eyes blue again. "What about the name?"

It was the witch's lips that spoke though.

"Evan."

The name haunted her lips more than it did my mind.

She turned and was out the door before I blinked twice.

All NPC

Date: 2012-06-19 23:43 EST
With that accent, bordering on somewhere between Chicago and New York it was odd to here the lyrics. "I was tha last one ta know, I was tha last one ta show, I was tha last one ya thought ya'd seee there." His stomach heaved. The ground pitched. He was wearing only a gray tank top and a tee to go along with his jeans and sneakers. "Now I didn't know, youse twos, somethin', somethin', somethin' there." At the bottom he went right for the back bar, holding onto the counter the entire way. "Because tha only important part is tha chorusssssss! Cuz I gots friends in low places." Massive hands plucked up that bottle of reliable, dirt cheap, disgusting whisky. The kind he wore now like cologne. To go along with all the cigarettes. "Where tha whiskey drowns and tha beer chases." There wasn't enough coin now. So a few sparse ones jingled down into the jar. The majority of his forearm and bicep tensed visibly beneath his thin tee when he clumsily opened the bottle and drank from the mouth. Glug. Glug. Glug. "My blues away." With a cringe and a grimace, then a drag on his forgotten cigarette to chase that terrible burn.

Seven of eleven and the minutes ticked away. Avram, Deven and Jahan stood outside watching the Inn. Avram seemed to be at least a head taller than his companions. All three men stood in a small circle talking among them and waited for Garrick. The gathering planned in the book, it was written long before this time of seven and eleven. Now eleven and twenty-six, Garrick was nowhere to be found. "Nothing shall be done until the time has come." Avram informed his brothers. "They drink and folly, why do we bother?" Deven asked. "We do not question, ever." Jahan corrected Deven. "We are here to serve, we are not here to serve our own will." Garrick arrived by foot ten seconds before the thirty of eleven. Each brother greeted another with a nod and embrace. If asked Avram would tell the story of how his Exalted Father in heaven and how he humbly serves the One True King named him. Deven name mean a god, but he is of God and was thusly also named in His image. Jahan name means the world; he has come with his brothers to protect the Spear, Garrick. The elder brother looked at the Inn and returned dark eyes upon his brothers.

"He said he was checking himself into a place," which wasn't really an answer at all in that low, grave, worried tone.

"Drunks lie." He was telling the psychologist that. He knew that she knew but it was a low, bitter reminder. His eyes then lifted to Yeardley. "Nothin' terrible. Take-out. Whatever booze you can find at my place. Probably movies. And the company of my dog and my girlfriend."

"Don't call him that."

"You have instructions." Avram, Deven and Jahan nodded and moved into position. Garrick went through the front door via the stairs. This was not the first time he mixed among the followers. Deven followed behind his brother and went to the hearth. Avram and Jahan remained outside. Garrick looked around. He was an ordinary tall man, his features were striking, but so where many in this land. He blended in and followed the flow of a crowd to the bar.

"Heh." More long sips from the bottle. "Boobies." Said secretively to himself as he looked back and forth at the few gathered. It was hard to focus on anything. Not even people. Jo was doing his best impression of the drunk you saw stumbling around on the street of any major city. Minus the dried urine stench. Minus the impression.

He only shot Harper a look in response but he didn't argue. Maybe he couldn't. It did sound like an order and he did seem to have an awfully hard time arguing directly with her orders. Instead, he upended the beer for a long swallow

Seeing a man behind the bar, Garrick asked. "What is best to drink here?" Standing. The woman staring at Jochin received a brief nod. Deven sat at the table across the room waiting. Instead of waiting for an answer, Garrick moved a stool and stepped behind the bar. He assumed anything behind the counter was worth drinking since Jochin was drunk. Garrick, who was much taller, blocked his exit. Deven thought there may be a fight.

"Jochin," she touched Colt's elbow and moved around him from behind to move closer to the staggering mountain and the stranger blocking the break.

There was a body in front of him. Someone who looked like Harper. It was Harper! He catcalled. "I ever tell ya ya got an butt that jus won't quit?" Eyebrow wiggle.

This was going to be done the easy way or the hard way. The hunter had his choice. "Now you will come." Garrick said calmly and Deven stood up and cut off the woman trying to reach his brother. "No." He said to Harper. "Stand down."

He looked up lazily. Now there were people blocking Harper's way. Jo looked around and shrugged. Must be one of those nights. Lets have more whisky. His eyes followed the path his brain was going. Which was, in circles.

He cursed at Harper but let her go without stopping her. It wasn't until a stranger was telling her to stand down that he rose to his feet, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"His time for what, buddy' Please tell me there's a drunk tank with his name on it." With a slow, dumb grin as he headed for the break, taking his beer along with him. Because he's just the sort of guy that looks like he couldn't go far without it.

Oh. F****. The possibilities tumbled and resolved and a shock of understanding blazed in her bruised face. "You stand down ..." she said like a woman used to giving orders. Her heart started pounding against her ribs like a bass drum. "He's not going with you."

"Come where boss?" Someone was saying his name only like his dad and the Masons would. He got up and walked toward the man. But more like stumbled when the ground defiantly rose up against his desire to walk. "I mean, where we going" I always did love Disneyland. They got tha awesome Indiana Jones ride!"

Avram joined Deven. The outsiders were warned again. "Stand down, stay clear." Garrick waited for a moment. Taking Jo's arm, he steadied the Hunter. "You will come, now is your time." Avram looked at the blonde woman and dog. "Step aside, this is not your business." The dark skinned woman is wise to stay. Garrick the Hunter by the elbow and said nothing else. They could make this easy or make it rough on the Hunter, either way he is going. Deven or Avram were not moving.

"Awww sheeeeet." Cursing loud and low. The bottle he left on the bar when the man took his arm. Then he reached for it. And found the man was dragging him toward the side door. More like hurrying him. "Where we goin?" He looked at Harper and gave her one of those smiles he always did. Blinded, bludgeoned, and battered behind the barrier of alcohol.

The small woman could not move steel even if her heart could move a mountain. Garrick had a firm grip on Jo's arm. Three men surrounded Garrick as he moved the Hunter. None of them would break formation, Jo was seized in a circle and they moved as a well-oiled machine for the back door. If the small woman was in the way, she was pushed back.

He was a ragdoll for the four men. The former Hunter, as tall, broad, and muscled as he was all limp limbs and weak muscles. He couldn't put up a fight in the least at the moment. "S'alright." He said to no one in particular. "S'my time."

He didn't seem prepared to go to war on Jochin's behalf but he hadn't settled into an easy lean against the bar either. His eyes followed Harper, restlessly tapping the side of his thigh in indecision. "What're you gonna do?"

"Don't just watch -" it could have been for anyone. Her hand ran over a paring knife and it disappeared into the curl of her palm. She wasn't just tagging along - she was putting up a pretty good fight. It simply wasn't making a bit of difference. She tried for the nearest man's flank with the blade and metal snapped.

"It is your time Hunter, judgment waits." The Hunter was ushered out into the alley before the others emerged. Avram and Deven parted so Garrick could finish what he had to do. Jahan was beside him. Garrick removed his spear and without a second thought plunged the blade straight into the Hunter's chest. "It is by His hand you are judged." A bright light burst as the spear penetrated his flesh. The life force sucked in and his body a shell of what it will be. Avram watched the metal bend and he pushed the woman back. "It is not your fight warrior. It is his time." Jo's body would be left. "Say goodbye to him." Garrick would give the woman a few moments to say her peace.

Ushered out into the alley. Jo didn't even have time to throw his hands up to protect himself. The spear struck home and all that remained of him was a limp body and lifeless, empty eyes.

Jahan stood there next to the body, while Garrick, Avram and Deven stood guard. "Say goodbye."

What she was <I>doing </I>was trying to beat the crap out of Jahan.

It was useless. "You should say goodbye, we must lay him to rest." Soon, the time was passing too soon.

He missed the wink because he followed along out into the alley after Harper. Late, it would seem, because....well, the entire brief encounter had just been odd. And then....this" Stunned, he reached out to snag one of Harper's arms and pull her in.

"You tell Cavanaugh," she spat out, slapping him across the face for it when nothing else so much as moved him. "That I said he's going to burn in hell for this. You tell him I will find that fat little bastard and —" Jerked back, panting and still fighting, she threw her elbow back into Colt's ribs. "Tell him he's dead."

Garrick smirked. "We do not take him on behalf of Cavanaugh." With that, he gave the command and Jahan picked up the body and three brothers vanished with the dark. Garrick remained. "You were told to stand down, he left you. Enough, this is not your fight." When the brothers vanished, he had no choice but to follow. There was more, but it was unsaid.

It was the comment about showing mercy that had him stepping forward again, shooting a dark look over Harper's shoulder least any of the men try to harm her. His large calloused hands clamped down on Harper's upper arms to try to keep her rooted in place with him. "Come on. I'll take you to my place." His hands kept a tight grip on her upper arms until he had sign that she wouldn't fight. There was no verbal response from Harper but he didn't expect one. An arm clamped around her waist and she was guided the long way around towards his truck to avoid cutting through the Inn. Without wasting much time and concentrating on the woman rather than the confusing situation, he bustled her up and was starting the truck to roll away in no time at all.

"Did she see him die?" A woman's voice echoed from the shadows.

Garrick barked out an answer. "Yes, she even tried to stop it. Didn't she Jahan?"

"Why was it necessary to do it this way?" Deven questioned the shadowed one.

The answer was immediate. "It was the only way it could have been done. Do you hear them' Do you hear your brothers and sisters any more?"

Avram growled in the back of his throat. "We are deaf to heavenly whispers thanks to you and bound to this earth until things are set back on course."

"Sammael started it, I will finish and make it right, only then will he be released.

Jahan was quiet for most of the conversation, until he asked. "What about the hu-man' What will become of him?"

"You mean the hunter" Say it Jahan, say hunter. He deserves the respect that is due, even if he has lost his way. He is blessed by your God and Christ, he is blessed." Inching her way from the shadows, but her face was covered by a long hood so the celestials could actually see her shape.

"Who are you to set it right?" Garrick barked out.

"I am no one, but it must be done. I make no claims, I have no special place in this world, not like the hunter. He's a wounded man lost on his way. Though you do not understand yet, but each and every one of you will have empathy for our kind. You will begin to understand what it is like to have your soul bleed out and sit with your pain every day. To know what it is like to want to bleed the pain out of your veins for a little relief."

"You threaten us?" Garrick moved forward and drew his hand back to strike the woman in holy anger. He held nothing back, the back of his hand struck her hard. Nothing in the form of emotions, pain or anger touched her face. Thanks to Garrick, she had a bloody nose. "Touch me again and it will be your last." Quietly said.

He could not strike her twice, it was revenge and his cause was not holy, there is no purpose in revenge without merit. "Witch you will pay."

"I know, I pay every day. You and the others will go and wait for word. You will not be seen in public, and when it is time, you will return. You will stand as a witness and this wrong will be righted, there is no question it will be done, none."

Garrick went to strike her again, but Jahan stopped her. "No brother, we are not savages. We will do as requested, it is the only way to return things back to the right way." Garrick knew he was right.

Soon they left and Jochin's body was laying on a cot in a dark room. Torches were the only source of light, the flame flickered and kept darkness and light playing together in a silent bidding. The shrouded figure stepped back into the dark and waited for him to wake.

After the angel pierced his flesh and drained his spirit from the body, it was returned by other means. Actually there was never a real separation, but more of a numbing of the mind, soul and body so they would not disconnect while being moved. There were no visible wounds from the spear, but it would take several hours for mind, soul and body to reunite with one another, when the Hunter's trinity finally became whole again, she would be waiting and their adventure would begin.