Benedizione, the Italian word for blessing. Maledetto, the Italian word for cursed. Only one of these can describe me, my Father thinks it is the former, I know it is the latter.

February 14th 1990:

Romello has planned for weeks on how he would surprise his bride of twelve years on Valentines. Fourteen valentines had been celebrated together, but each one was as important as the very first. Valentines was a special day for the couple, it was the day of their first real date, their first kiss, and eventually the day they married on, two years after the first one they celebrated together.

Now twelve years later Valentines was still the biggest day of the year for the couple whose love seemed to be one of the story books. Romello always planned something wonderful and extravagant to show his wife how much he loved and adored her. This Valentines, like a few others, required that he hold back a little, as his wife was with child and was in no condition to be traveling. This pregnancy had been the most difficult of the six; even the twins were easier to carry than the little baby inside of Julietta now. With his wife's delicate condition in mind, Romello has planned a relaxing day and evening together.

"Romello, where are we going" You're so silly always insisting on the blindfolds!" Clutching his wife's hand and placing a hand on the small of her back, he guided her inside of the restaurant.

"Be patient my love, be patient, we're almost seated and then you can look." Nodding to the waiter who greeted them, Romello escorted her to the table that had been reserved for them and helped her get seated and then he sat as well.

"Are you ready to see?"

"Of course of course. Can I take this off now?"

"Go ahead."

Quickly and with great enthusiasm she untied the black silk scarf from around her head and gasped as she looked around, clutching the makeshift blindfold against her mouth to shush her gasps of excitements. "Oh Romello! You remembered!"

"How could I forget' Do I ever forget anything that involves you?"

"That is true. I just can't believe you remembered. " And then she narrowed her eyes at him, leaning forward with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips. "Do you remember, Romello?"

"Remember that here, in this restaurant at this very table is the first time I told you I loved you? No, I don't remember." Laughing softly, he motioned for the waiter to join them and requested their drinks be brought out.

Using the silk scarf in her hands, Julietta dabbed at the tears in her eyes. "You are the best man I have ever known. " Reaching out across the table she clutched his hand, her thumb lightly stroking over his fingers.

"You deserve only the best Mia Stella. I will always try to be the best for you and give you the best. Always. Ti amo con tutta l'anima."

"I love you too Romello, amore mio."

Quiet footsteps interrupted the moment. Turning with a smile on his face, Romello looked up to who he assumed was going to be the waiter bringing their drinks. The smile quickly faded as he looked to his wife, withdrawing his hand from hers and then stood up to face the man looking down over their table.

"Damarco." The man tilted his head; his smile was something deceitful and evil. "A pleasure to see you here tonight and your lovely wife." Reaching out a hand, the man stroked Julietta's cheek as she tried to shy away. Romello grit his teeth and reached inside of his jacket, placing his hand on his gun, as a warning to the man standing in front of him.

"Romello, what is this" What's going on?" Julietta looked on in horror.

Romello reached out a hand for his wife to hold on to. "Shh, it's okay my love. Just business."

"What do you want Savino' Why are you here?"

"I have a message for you, from Cristoforo. He says you take something from him, he takes something from you."

"Savino, I told him, I'm out of the business."

"That's not what your rat said. I just came to give you the message." Savino smiled again.

Withdrawing his gun Romello pointed it at Savino's chest. "You bring this message back to Costanzo." Nodding to the gun. "If he messes with me or my family it is WAR!"

"Then I hope you have your men in place." The sound of a gunshot rang through the air and then another. Julietta's hand briefly squeezed Romello's and then she let go.

"Juliettttta!" Romello turned in time to see his wife crumple to the floor.

"No! " Looking around he saw the gunman was actually behind him, Dante, another of Cristoforo's men.

"Take that as your first?" And then Savino fired another shot at Julietta, one landing in her swollen stomach. "And your second warning."

Raising his hand, Romello started shooting out of blind rage. Savino went down and by the time Romello turned, Dante was gone.

Dropping his gun, he covered his wife with his body. "Julietta! Julietta! Mia Stella! Stay with me. Open your eyes." One hand caressed her face and the other rubbed her swollen belly.

"WOULD SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Romello was screaming and sobbing at the top of his lungs.

"Romello." Her eyes blinked open slowly. "Romello, I can't feel my legs." She took in a ragged breath, her eyes frantically fluttering as she looked over her husband.

"Tell her that I loved her. I loved her with all of my heart and my sons, tell my sons, I love them." Her hand moved to her belly, indicating the child inside. " I. I love you."

"No! Don't you let go, don't you give up on me Julietta. Don't give up. Stay with me! I can hear the ambulance, help is coming." Leaning forward, he kissed her lips fervently. Her lips pressed weakly back against his.

"Coming through, coming through! Out of the way." The EMTs pushed Romello out of the way, trying to assess the situation and get Julietta the care she needed.

"We need to get her loaded now! Call head to the emergency room; let them know what we've got." Two of the men worked on loading up Julietta and tending to her while two others tended to Savino. " We've got on D.O.A." Even in that moment, Romello couldn't help but feel some sort of relief that the bastard was dead.

"I'm loosing her!" Romello felt like his head was going to explode when he heard that. "You have to save her! You have to!"

"We're doing all we can, Sir. We need you stay calm." Having gotten her loaded onto the gurney, they were now taking her to the ambulance. Romello climbed inside with the men. "Sir, we need you to stay out of the way. Out of the way Sir!? Sitting down helplessly, he held his head in his hands, praying for his wife.

My Father started calling me his blessing from the first time he met me. Knowing now the circumstances surrounding my birth, you'd think I'd agree. I can't help but wonder though, if my being in the womb contributed to my mother's death. Perhaps if the doctors could have focused on saving only her, they could have done more. Or maybe none of this would have happened in the first place if she had not been pregnant, my father could have taken her on a romantic get away, some where far away from Cristoforo and his men. It is for all of these reasons and so many others that plague me that I am certain, I am cursed. I was a curse to my mother, making her sick through the pregnancy and being so difficult she could not even travel. I was a curse when her life was in trouble, the doctors trying to save me, while she slipped away. Some would say I've lived a charmed life, but it hasn't been easy, especially knowing what I am. I see the way my family looks at me, of course they all love me, but secretly I know they wonder; What if" My father would never let me speak these words aloud, he would not hear of it. I am his blessing. Only in my head am I allowed to believe myself to be cursed. You'll see what I mean soon enough; let me get back to the story.

"Mr. Damarco' Your Brother and sons are here. "

Nodding, Romello reluctantly let go of his daughter's tiny hand and moved out of the room. Thankfully he was wearing the scrubs to cover his blood stained clothes. Taking in a deep breath, he went out into the waiting area.

"Gio." Moving to his brother, Romello collapsed into his open arms, truly leaning on his older brother for support. The two men stood hugging for a while, Romello's oldest sons Benito and Robbie stood looking on.

"Geno stayed with the younger boys, but Benito and Robbie begged me to come."

"It's alright Gio, thank you for bringing them."

"Dad?"

"Yeah Robbie?" Turning to his son then, tears in his eyes.

"Uncle Gio says that momma isn't with us anymore. She's not coming home?"

"Uncle Gio is right son. Your Mother?" He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, hardly able to say the words. "A very bad man hurt your Mother and she got very sick. She's in Heaven now." Gritting his teeth, Romello looked away from his tearful sons faces. Who came up with this shit' In Heaven now" Like that was supposed to make it all better.

"God needed another angel?"

"Yes Robbie, God needed your Mother in Heaven. But don't worry she's looking down on all of us and she told me to tell you she loves you all very much."

"But I don't want mom to be gone!" Both boys stood crying.

"I know. I know. I don't either. Come here." He held out his arms, holding his sons and kissing the tops of their heads.

"We did get one blessing out of this. Her name is Josephine. Boys, you have a new sister and your mother loved her very much. We have to take care of Josephine and tell her everything about her mother. We have to make sure she grows up strong and loved. Do you want to meet her?"

Through sniffling the boys managed to say yes. Gio stood by Romello's side, rubbing his back.

"Let's all wash our hands. You can just see her, no touching tonight. She is very small and we have to be very gentle with her. She can't come home with us for a little while longer."

After Gio helped the boys wash their hands and Romello washed his once again, they moved back into the NICU nursery.

"Gio, Robbie, Benito?" He motioned to the incubator then. "This is Josephine Sophia."

"Why does she have all those tubes dad?"

"They are to help her to grow strong, they are giving her food. She's too tiny to eat on her own."

"Romello." Gio hugged his brother again. "She's beautiful. She's a spitting image of Julietta."

"Isn't she?" Romello looked down on his daughter with tears in his eyes.

"She's stunning. Even premature she's beautiful."

"Dad when can we bring her home?"

"Probably in a week or two, I hope."

The boys stood gawking into the incubator, more fascinated by all the tubes and machines than the baby with in.

"Romello, you look exhausted. Why don't we take the boys home and get some rest. You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow, but don't worry. Geno and I are going to be right there to take care of these kids and help you get through this."

"I know Gio. I know. You guys are always there for me. I'm lucky to have you."

Turning to Josephine, Romello reached in, to touch her hand again. " Goodnight My Benedizione."

After saying their goodbyes and checking out at the nurse's station, they headed down to the lobby, where two police officers stood in uniform waiting.

"Mr. Damarco' We just need to get an official statement from you."

"Guys guys." Gio stepped in. "Can't this wait until tomorrow, the guy just lost his wife and has a baby in intensive care."

"I'm sorry but no, we need to get a statement now, we'll bring him home later."

"Gio it's alright, take the boys home."

Giving each other another hug and after kissing his boys goodnight, Romello moved off to a more private area to speak with the officers.

"Mr. Damarco, we've spoken with the wait staff at the restaurant, we just need to get an official statement from you."

Nodding, Romello leaned against a wall.

"We were just sitting there eating dinner and Savino came in. He started to threaten me and my family, said he had a message to deliver. The next thing I know there is a man behind us shooting at my wife and then Savino is. I shot him out of self-defense. My gun is registered. It was self defense."

The officers scribbled in their notepads, nodding.

"How do you know this Savino?"

"I've met him only a few times."

"And why do you think this happened, Mr. Damarco' "

"I wish I knew."

"Who does he work for?"

"I, ugh, I don't know. I don't know why he was there."

"Alright Mr. Damarco, your story checks out, the witnesses say it was self defense. But we're going to have to talk with you again, so don't plan on going out of town any time soon. We're sorry for your loss. We'll be happy to drive you home now."

"Thank you, Gentlemen."

The next week was the hardest Romello had ever endured. On top of dealing with the police he also had to explain the loss of their Mother to the rest of his sons, plan a funeral, bury his wife, and also make sure to tend to his newborn daughter. Every spare second was spent at Josephine's side and when he was unable to be there Geno or Gio stood watch over their niece. There was great fear that if Cristoforo got wind that the baby had lived, he would come after her.