The letter is written in unintelligible scribbles when Audrey finds it. She tilts her head to the side, mouth trying to form words that she simply cannot read, and then she balls it up and tosses it into the trash; much to the obvious chagrin of her rabbit, Chester.

He chocks it up to her not being very well educated and hard of hearing, because had she asked, he would have translated it for her.

When she leaves, he hops over and pulls it from the trash and places it on her bed. It goes as follows (translated from the original rabbit for your sanity) ;

Dear Girl,

At some point long before my few weeks of existence, it was decided by you humans that we dumber creatures should wear clothes.

The practical use of which is something I don't get, but the currently itchy, very flamboyant vest that you have me shoe horned into almost makes me regret ever being created.

I'm empathic, not a fashion victim.

But it makes you so damned happy. I think you deserve to be happy.

I digress.

You also seem to think my life is easy. It's not. Day in and day out I wake up wedged between your feet while you spoon with the blond girl. For once I would like to sleep on a pillow. You only spoon with me when she's not around. What does she got that I don't, huh' I have an adorable name- oh, and thanks for tacking on Dustbunnymund as a last name, the other rabbits are already making fun of me- soft fur and pretty blue eyes.

They're your eyes, woman. How can some big, blond soft human monster thing compete with that?

You've also been yelling at me a lot lately for digging up the bed and eating your clothes. Maybe you should stop and think about the reasoning behind this behavior. My creator did make me so that I reflected your personality.

I'll give it awhile for that to sink in.

In the meantime, I know you've been really stressed out because, remember, I'm empathic. You're afraid that everything is going to fall to pieces. She loves you and she understands that all of this trouble isn't your fault.

And she's not even in sync with your emotions like me. Chew on that for awhile.

Regardless, I do love you Human-Shaped-Girl-Thing and only want what?s best for you.

Sincerely,

Chester J. Dustbunnymund

Another cryptic letter and Audrey starts to worry. After Chester's behavior at the inn the night before and after he talked to her and several other people, she's beginning to think that he may actually be possessed.

She gets dressed slowly, steadily, a groan as she peers back at the bed before she heads out. The letter, once again, finds it's way into the trash and Chester, once again, retrieves it and pulls it onto the bed.

((As always, translated from the original rabbit)) Dear Girl-Shaped-Human-Thing

I'm sorry for spooking you last night. That was a faux pas on my part. I had meant the talking to be a surprise, since you complain that when big Blond-Girl-Shaped-Human-Thing isn't around you have no one to talk to.

I thought it would be a lovely gesture, but I was sadly mistaken.

I have, however, remedied the problem. A few tweaks to my own noggin and thus you don't have to take me to a priest.

I do love how you can accept dragons, vampires, nine headed cactus demons and giant living balloon animals, but a talking rabbit' Oh no it must be possessed!

Psh. Humans.

Also, it would be nice if you two would put me out of the room when you're rutting.

I'm sure Boy-Shaped-Human-Things would appreciate such a show, but I, however think that it is very tactless.

You humans just look weird. No fur, no doe pouch. It's wrong if you ask me.

And don't worry, I know this is how you express your love. But hello! I'm empathic, I already know how you feel about her; I don't have to see it.

Blech.

Oh, and when you see my creator again, would you tell her that I would like to speak with my brother" It's somewhat urgent.

Love,

Chester J. Dustbunnymund.

PS: You said I sounded like Chris Isaak. Who the hell is Chris Isaak"