Faenix was finally ready for field work. He'd been chosen by Alain, Archangel of Animals. As a Cherub, he would be attuned to cats, so...

He'd hoped for a black tuxedo cat vessel, to befit his newly-minted field operative secret agent status. His superior reminded him that he was no James Bond, furry or otherwise, and real secret agents wouldn't dress flashy, anyway.

So he was left with standard yellow tabby form. Nine (and-a-half!) pounds of avenging angel cherubic fury!

The newest Guardian of Mistreated House Cats.

Maybe field work wasn't going to be as glamorous as he thought.

...

His briefing had been given by Alain himself as he'd prepared to leave the celestial tether, the fixed point on earth where travel happened between the celestial and mortal planes. Normally he'd rarely see his superior, unless there was something very important to do (unlikely, for a newbie like Faenix) or there was very large trouble. But this was his first time out and the archangel wanted to see him "himself."

The strange angel at this time was inhabiting three plump mice. If this was a message to Faenix to keep in mind that things might be more dangerous than they seemed to be down here, it was lost on him. He was impatiently waiting to go while each mouse squeaked out a different word of Alain's orders to him.

Your task to a from animal first is human an here stop harming

any animal human, do any will

Return when accomplished you here have this

Kyriotates were such weird angels. Couldn't they just pick one vessel to speak through"

Alain hadn't waited around to receive acknowledgment or questions; the mice had scampered away almost the instant they stopped speaking. Alain had probably released them the moment he was done speaking and the mice had suddenly realized they were looking up at a very impatient cat.

And so, Faenix quickly stepped out into a world he'd only until now observed from on high.

...

And what a fantastically mundane world it was turning out to be.

There were no demons to fight around every corner.

Most people ignored him. Several dogs in yards growled or yelped at him until he'd finished sauntering past.

He could have sworn that jerk in the red Camaro had swerved to try and hit him at that last intersection.

One old woman had even thrown a potato of all things at him. Though dodging that had prevented him from crossing the street sooner, perhaps preventing actual impact with that Camaro. So maybe that evened out.

He had at one point come across an alleyway, filled with strays! Surely some had been mistreated here! He'd entered the delta of the alleyway, and began to proclaim in his finest angelic-cat:

"Faenix the Cat is my name, and I say....unto..."

Several large, mean, scarred toms suddenly regarded him with mad feral violence in their eyes. Several attractive females may well have cat-snickered.

...

The last of the toms had ceased giving chase only about three or four blocks away. Faenix kept running for another four just to make sure. Ingrates!

Well, apparently they didn't need his help.

He'd come to a dead end street that ended on the bank of the river. He found a shaded patch of grass next to a shrubbery and flopped down on his side, dejected. How was he supposed to keep other animals from beating him up, much less stop a human from hurting an animal"

And then he saw the Camaro, parked idling down by the river.

His eyes slitted. Well, maybe he could at least pee on the jerk's tires. Alain had said any animal, and that jerk had almost run him over...

Faenix made a fine show of stalking down to the car, in that unique way that stealthy house cats are completely un-stealthy to everyone else.

...

Faenix arrived at the car to find that the driver's side door was open, engine still running, and the driver near the bank engaged with something. So Faenix might even have been safe to unleash the dreaded dirty-pawprints-on-the-body-and-windows maneuver if he desired.

But then he looked at what the human was up to.

He looked to be a scrawny, blue-jean-t-shirt-dirty-ballcap-wearing sort with a ridiculous mustache. He had a cardboard box near his feet, a sack of some sort next to it, and appeared to be picking up rocks.

Faenix aimed his ears and detected "mews" coming from the box.

His hair raised and his tail puffed. That right bastard. He obviously had to go over there and...

Oh right. Still nine (and-a-half!) pounds of yellow tabby cat. He'd probably just get added to the bag himself.

The bitchin' Camaro's engine stuttered and spooked Faenix.

Who suddenly realized that the door was open, engine running, pointed directly at the river already and an automatic transmission stalk on the wheel.

He wasted no time hopping in the car.

He had to sit on the floorboard and stretch all the way up to the stalk, but once he got his paws on it to start to hang, the selector dropped into "drive." The engine lagged a bit, the car lurched forward, and Faenix fell off the stalk to the floorboard.

And the door swung shut, right in his face has he looked to jump free.

"I'm gonna get my first vessel killed on my first day! I suck! This seemed like such a good plan a few seconds ago! AGGGGHHH!"

This was of course emitted as a series of mournful wails from the trapped tabby.

The car picked up idle speed on its way to the water.

Faenix hopped up to the seat and leaned against the steering wheel. He wasn't big enough to steer it. It probably didn't have power steering, anyway. Hopeless.

But by now the human had seen his flashy, perfect red car had started to move. He was running and cursing profusely. He got to the door and started to fling it open...

Faenix jumped out like a shot and ricocheted off the guy's face, with full benefit of claws for traction. Caught completely off guard, the man wailed and grabbed at his face, and tripped to the ground. The rear wheel of the car ran over his right foot, crushing his ankle between the tire and a sharp rock. He wailed and cursed again. The car was almost at the water.

He immediately tried to get to his feet in one last bid to save the car from becoming amphibious. The moment he put weight on the ankle he screamed in agony, hit the ground face-first and was out for the duration.

Faenix had hit the ground and spun around, not experienced yet enough to know that you don't check to see if you're being chased before you've actually started running. He watched the man hit the ground. He watched the car hit the water, and sputter and die as the engine compartment flooded. It kept rolling for a few feet more, then started to sink into the water and mud.

The Camaro was no longer so bitchin'.

He checked the guy out. He didn't kill him, so the Symphony shouldn't be disturbed, but Alain certainly hadn't given him permission to be that avenging. The guy smelled awful, probably half-drunk anyway. Between his injuries to his body and his car, he was probably going to be suffering enough.

He walked over to the box and managed to tip it over. Four mewling kittens of various description tumbled out.

He'd done it! He'd accomplished his mission! He was a full field agent now! He...

Was now responsible for baby-sitting four adorable kittens.

"No, not glamorous at all..." Faenix got over his initial jubilation and addressed the confused-looking kittens. "C'mon, you guys. Let's get you back to the tether, maybe we can find a nice cat lady to adopt you. Follow me..."

And he turned towards home base, checking every few seconds to make sure they hadn't strayed.

The four kittens seemed to smile, and followed Faenix as one.