Topic: What's For Dinner?

Sortas

Date: 2007-02-04 08:58 EST
Jenny Fisher was harassed. She had the roast beef shrinking in the oven, the potatoes boiling to mush on the stove, the vegetables steaming away to nothingness and on top of all that she had Nathan's mother dictating her every move. "You don't want to cook them that way. My Nathan likes his potatoes slightly firm, and you don't want to over cook the meat. It will be tough as old shoe leather," and so on.

Jenny had been married to Nathan for over 4 years"4 long years of which it seemed she had also married his mother. The woman was a living nightmare. No matter how hard Jenny tried it was never good enough for Eva her mother-in-law. The net curtains were never white enough. "That's because you don't use starch," she would say. Then there was the time Jenny prepared Christmas dinner for Nathan, his two brothers, and their wives, only for Eva to completely ruin the day by slowly dissecting each dish Jenny had made and criticizing the way it was prepared, cooked, and presented.

Tonight was no exception. Nathan's boss was coming home with him this evening, and this was to be a special dinner. Nathan's promotion was on the line, and everything had to be just perfect. However, the dinner was slowly getting ruined, and Eva's persistent badgering was fraying Jenny's nerves. Jenny suggested that Eva go home as there wasn't much room in the kitchen for both of them, but she had no intention of going anywhere. She wanted to make sure her "little boy" got his promotion even if it meant eating "a tasteless meal." Someone had to explain to his boss the reason Jenny was a useless cook.

Jenny was livid. She could see Christmas day all over again. The pitiful stares, the reluctance to try the second course, and of course the humiliation, oh the humiliation! No this was going to be different, very different. She knew Nathan loved his mother more than he loved her, and the only reason he married was because his mother told him it was a good way to ensure he had someone to look after him in his old age. No, this time they were both going to get the lesson they deserved.

Nathan arrived home with Mr. Charmers around 8.00pm. The aroma of garlic, herbs and spices wafted succulently through the air, and Nathan gave Jenny an appraising look as he walked through the door. Jenny was introduced to Mr. Charmers, and then Nathan queried his mother's absence. "She decided to leave as she had to go to your brother's house, they have a dinner party tonight," said Jenny.

Sortas

Date: 2007-02-04 08:58 EST
"But she knew how important tonight was for me. How could you let her go?"" he bleated, "Don't worry, she gave me her best recipe tips that I'm sure you'll enjoy," she said, seating the men at the dinner table.

Jenny started with an entr"e of grilled livers garnished with onions and lightly drizzled in olive oil. Both men were enthralled by the dish and demanded more, but Jenny refused, saying it would spoil the main course.

Jenny approached the dinner table with a large silver covered platter. It filled the entire table to capacity, and the men had to move slightly away so that the hot steam from the dish would not scorch them. Jenny proudly lifted the lid of the tureen revealing her masterpiece.

The men fell backwards, gagging at the sight before them. There on the platter surrounded by the overcooked vegetables and shriveled beef was Eva's head. The skin was black and crisp, and rivulets of pus trickled down the cheeks from the protruding bulbous eyes that were snapped open in sheer terror. Her mouth gaped open in a death mask showing a blistered tongue stuffed with several different herbs. Her hair was all but gone. Scalped by the deft fingers of Jenny who used the locks in a grotesque form of decoration to garnish Eva's entrails, which surrounded her head.

Mr. Charmers ran for the door, vomiting as he went. However Nathan could only stare in stark shock, gibbering meaninglessly as Jenny stood before him and asked, "would you care for breast or leg?"