Topic: Where Hope Begins

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-09-20 20:25 EST
There was a question of heart when it came to walking that old familiar path. That long road that led back to a place she one had called home. The past was over and done with, set behind him and that road seemed to find a destination towards new beginnings.

Funny that it all would start where it hand ended. When they had got back to Shane's house the nostalgia hit her like a freight train. Rolled her over and left her near breathless.

It was only Shane's arm around her that kept her stable and far from wanting to slip down to knees. Lucky her that partial embrace as the door was open and Gauge all but bowled them over to head on inside.

"He 'as nae changed much now 'as he?"

A grin as she slipped away from him only momentarily to greet the old hound. Ruffling his ears and offering him that first treat. The rest set on the table.

The table. Head bowed as a faint smile touched her lips.

"Man. Shane tha las' time ah was 'ere....was when we exchanged gif's. Ah....still 'ave tha necklace."

Softly. Turning gaze over shoulder as her eyes sparkled and the Fox's grin crossed her lips.

"Sae many memories....seems strange tae think everathin' picks up where i' lef' off....like time be like ah web, woven through strands ratha den ah straigh' line."

Head bowed as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Ah'm glad ah go' ah second chance tae believe in 'ope again Shane....dat ye gave me ah second chance in yer life. Nae matta in whut time or status. Be enough."

One of those chairs drawn from the table as she sat down. Untrusting of her legs as ocean blue eyes took everything in. Everything so much was the same but yet everything had changed.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-09-22 03:08 EST
"Yea, still the same palace it ever was," he signaled to his home which, honestly, would have been messier had he more belongings to misplace. He suppose that growing up with so many siblings that the concept of ownership was lost on him. Oh, and the belief of there being great order. It was all community, all items were those which others could take up, use or misuse and place wherever.

This concept, though, provided only for a person to be appear sloppy when they lived on their own. He forgot that someone wasn't aiming to pick over his leftovers or relocate the couch pillow or blankets. That when he lived alone the life of the house became stagnant and it was only him, mostly, which affected things. If Gauge was let inside he wrecked some damage of the living but mostly....mostly....it was just him.

It was impossible to describe as someone who grew up with over seven siblings how utterly destructive it was being alone. He liked the inn, but he didn't kid himself. He knew that though he was sociable the inn had very little to do with socializing. It was communicating with a faux, extended family. Though the perception was faulty, it had given him greater piece and he never revealed himself to anyone. Never told his friends that they scratched his itch for numerous, boisterous family members.

It was that love of family which persistent on in his heart. The concept of soulmate, or lover, was one that had perhaps received the most permanent damage. After all, in Ireland there was no "nuclear family." There was the Church and there was your country, and those were the ideals greater than yourself which you served. It made the self, the "I" but a small hiccup which was to be dismissed.

"I remember. I wanted you to have good luck."

He smiled dry, like the skin underneath cracked. The expression somehow softened and he finger combed his hair, tugging a couple times on the tips of his bangs as he began again, "Time has been funny. Sometimes I feel like the day I first go here in Rhydin, looking for a job. When I'm with you I think about..."

How long did his voice trail.

"....Hope. All the kinds of hope there is." he wet his lips and looked at her— her mouth sometimes her lips sometimes her eyes. Her. "The kinda hope you had after so many days of working a job you hate. The hope you have in not getting hurt. The hope you get that it doesn't have to end badly and....the hope you get when you make something that did end so badly turn into a new experience that you can smile for."

He opened the door wide to let Gauge wiggle his way out and sniff out the yard. The door shut with a dry sound and the corners of his lips got caught in some strain of amusement.

Then, "It's like a weight off your soul."

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-09-22 06:29 EST
She was quiet as she listened to him speak. The one thing about the Irish Bloke that perhaps had never been truly seen by many, but what Jacinta would see, is that there was a lot that went on in the man's head. When he opened up you didn't talk....you just listened.

That was exactly what she would do. Those ocean blue eyes locked on him as she leaned back in the chair. Fingers curling in her hair as she palmed at the braid buried there and the little irish good luck token.

Ireland. Home. Family was everywhere. You loved your land as if it was your mother.

Jacinta hardly had a huge family and her father terrified her and her sister, her mother nothing more then a broken woman. She couldn't blame the past for what it had conditioned her and Sidonie to become but it had left marks.

Speechless with so much that went on in her soul, a tiny smile tugging at her lips as her eyes never left him. Working over those tousled spades of auburn, his expressive eyes, his mouth. His smile and the way he stood or paced when he talked.

They all wore facades. A stunning realization that maybe her anxiety in crowds as not so much different then the nature he put on in crowds for the need for family. Comfort.

Her eyes were wide in the nature of one not willing to cry.

"Och....Shane."

It was the first time she had spoken as she watched the hound disappear into the yard as the door closed behind him.

So many doors closed....and now it seemed another was opened.

She stood and crossed to the Irish Bloke. Heart thundering in her chest that surely he had to hear it. His face claimed in her hands before she was sliding her arms around him in that soft embrace.

"Silly Irish boyo....ah wanna ye tae 'ave tha same....tae 'ave ah bit o' luck and love and shine tae yer life. Daes feel good...tae nae 'ave dat burden on tha soul."

Softly a whisper. A close of eyes as she buried her head against his chest. Breathed in the scent of him. He reminded her of home. Felt like it. Nose wrinkled as she laughed quietly. That broken, fragile sound of laughter when its better then crying. But even her tears would be something of relief, something of newly found joy.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-09-23 16:46 EST
"Och?" He paused and looked at her, seemed to be snapped from the reverie of thought. He had not thought any of what he said warranted that reaction, and for a moment there was the blizzard of uncertainty on his face. This dissolved into a reassured smile.

As far as he knew, every horrible outcome he had faced had rendered him still with people that wanted to see him well. He wasn't sure if there was a sad irony in the outcome, or if he was unusually lucky to still be held in high regard.

Sometimes, he was unsure why he was. Darcy had said that she'd loved no other like him. That it was hundreds of years that she'd held her breath, hoping one to cross her path. Him.

The face of the errors the women in his life had practiced faced him with a very real inner conflict. Shane was Catholic, born and raised, and truly embraced those values. He drank like a catholic, anyway, and sinned like most people but had heavy feet when asking for forgiveness. It was hard for him to repent— he had not reached the point in his life where he felt the guilt of sin drive him to confess. No, not yet. But he did feel often in his heart that he was no embodying one of the more important Christian ideals— forgiveness. Sure, he could be generous and loving, even discuss the word of the Lord if someone decided to ask for it. But to forgive had somehow escaped him, even after so many biblical examples accompanied with the fate of those that didn't.

Why was it, with the most important people in his life, he had failed them so incredibly in the act of forgiveness" That still persisted a wall that said that dues had not entirely been paid. What would it take" There had been apologies and motions and real acts which demonstrated their inner change.

He didn't have the answers, but he wasn't being asked about it right now. No, just one of those near and dear people who he failed to forgive held him, even though he had been far from angelic.

It was a terrible feeling.

"I'm glad you wish me well," he sighed and then forced a smile and stepped away from her, "Wanna see what I did change, though?" okay, so the Irishman wasn't an entirely stagnant person. Apparently...

....some things could change?

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-09-23 20:23 EST
Forgiveness. She didn't believe she even deserved it. For him to hate her, loathe her, shut her out was something more deserving. His friendship was a bittersweet warmth in her heart. Jacinta had from the get go remained steadfast and loyal to him. She was not as the wandering spirit of her sister was likely to be.

When Jacinta's heart smoldered with passion, love, and desire it would only ignite for one. It was her way now. Words of love were not enough. Pages had been filled with those words of love, words of remorse, words of confession, words of her past and deep down it might not be enough.

She still struggled and held tightly dear to that bit of light he brought to her soul still. Taking what she could get.

Jacinta couldn't bear to face the darkness alone. Far from angels. The Summer Girl was meant to burn. Ever. Always.

Never could she blame him....nor would she hold her breath for his forgiveness. It was not deserved.

A tremble of color moved in ocean blue eyes before it was dismissed. That melancholy lingered in her soul as would that terrible feeling in his own spirit. She pushed up a smile for him.

"Sure, give me tha grand tour"

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-09-26 10:30 EST
"Ta-da." Light flooded the living room to reveal a less bachelor-looking room. Before the walls had been beige and nothing hung on them. Just two over-sized chairs and a coffee table. It had sort of looked like someone was moving out. Or got robbed.

He's painted it a warm, light green and there were some frames scenic paintings on the wall. Even a bowl with some snacks for guests there. Overall, it had the appearance of a room a settled man, not a tramp, owned.

"Oh, but this is the real beauty," he smiled at her, slipping his hand into her's and walking towards the unlit second bedroom. The hardwood floor murmured as their feet swept across it.

This room was not remarkable because he had made it more aesthetic. Technically, it was less appealing now but embodied the spirit of his work. This was where he ran the Enabler. There was a hand press to print editions and there were stacks of papers, scrawled ideas, all balanced on a thick, old beaten table that dominated the center of the room. He squeezed her had and walked over by the chair which was obviously his perch where he worked.

"I know it's not much but you know, I got some equipment, got it a little more together. I've been so busy making it to where I could print up stuff that I haven't gotten out there interviewing as I should. Plus, with prop 37 involving kidnapping and violence, I'm not sure what covering any of it unfavorably might mean for me."

He looked back and her and smiled, eagerly, like someone does when they want the approval from someone that matters.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-09-26 13:26 EST
(Owl City- Vanilla Twilight http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aENY16Mjw6k )

The stars lean down to kiss you, And I lie awake I miss you, Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, But I'll miss your arms around me I'll send a postcard to you dear, Cause I wish you were here.

The infectious laughter was born on a bright wing of hope as she was lead through his house and the changes. Ocean blue eyes brightened as she looked around, taking it all in. Shane had changed. The trip to Ireland had perhaps changed them all for the better. The common room was warm and welcoming, inviting for friends and family. She commented in a genial way of appreciation.

I watch the night turn light blue, But it's not the same without you, Because it takes two to whisper quietly, The silence isn't so bad, Till I look at my hands and feel sad, Cause the spaces between my fingers Are right where yours fit perfectly.

Fingers curled and claimed. Intertwined with a press of palms. Something so familiar. Something so missed. A bow of head and her eyes moved down to their linked fingers. Gentle smile on her lips as she was lead along to the second bedroom. She didn't know what to expect but what she saw brought a grin to her lips. This was the room of Shane's hopes and dreams. His aspirations. His talent.

I'll find opposing new ways, Though I haven't slept in two days, Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. But drenched in Vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night, Waist deep in thought because when I think of you. I don't feel so alone. I don't feel so alone. I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you....tonight. I'll think of you tonight.

He had pulled away from her and she missed the space he took up in her world. A lean to the wall as she looked around, ocean blue eyes taking it all in as her eyes crinkled up.

"Ye know it's funny 'ow things work ou'....sometimes we can gae through tha roughest bi's of life...and ye'...we find somethin' dat makes it all worth while. Dis 'ere...is incredible. Ah'm in awe of ye and Sidonie wit' 'ow ye gae after yer 'opes and dreams. Ah wish ah could find muh nitch."

Shaking her head with that Fox's grin as she walked to where he sat, fingers stroked through the auburn spades of his hair, a brush of fingertips down his jaw before the near intimate moment was broken as her hand fell away with a whisper.

"Ah'm sae verra proud o' ye, Shane. Through i' all....ye managed tae find yer place. Ah always told ye....ye were meant fer grea' things....Dis is jus' tha star' of yer greatness"

A crinkle of eyes as she gestured to the room. Her hope rested in him.It was not an aspiration to stroke his ego. She could not lie. She genuinely believed in him, had faith in him.

When violet eyes get brighter, And heavy wings grow lighter, I'll taste the sky and feel alive again. And I'll forget the world that I knew, But I swear I won't forget you, Oh if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear, Oh darling I wish you were here.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-09-30 00:15 EST
There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt It's still a little hard to say what?s going on.

"Well, it hasn't launched off greatly or anything yet. I got real behind cause of prop 37 issues and well, the tailor shop has been so demanding. I hope to publish something nice with Mac's help, but she's been busy too."

He seemed to realize that she may not know who Mac was, so he smiled at her and said, "Oh, I got one person who works on the paper with me. Her name is Mac. Real nice, upbeat type. You'd like her I think."

There's still a little bit of your ghost your witness. There's still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed. You step a little closer each day, That I can't say what?s going on

Her hand through his hair and he smiled up at her, leaning back in his chair, head cocked to the side to were the neck muscles strained just so and were defined. He smiled privately at what was, well, incredibly generous compliments. Eyebrows arched upward as he looked up at her, brows then knitting at what she said.

"Sometimes it takes a minute to find your niche. I mean....you must have something you can think of that you know....if everyone in the world disappeared, it'd be the thing you did to enjoy yourself."

Shane was, well, you wouldn't call him ambitious our lazy. He was sociable and hardworking and chased the tail of several interests. But becoming king, or even mayor didn't matter to him. He didn't need the finest clothes or the best whiskey, or even an unbelievably beautiful woman to make him happy. He liked what was real, what wasn't manufactured by cities and standards. He liked the small flaws in Jacinta, he liked that she could have a fall from grace, albeit a very public one. Shane had, but his was swept under the rug and went largely unseen by most everyone.

There's still a little bit of your song in my ear. There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear. You step a little closer to me, So close that I can't see what?s going on.

Wasn't she better now for him, then" Not as a delicate flower whose health was a weighing concern, but as a real person, flawed and trying their best' She was more real to him now, more like the person he'd been wishing had been there. Was he projecting it, or was what he saw real"

He rose up from the writer's chair with a soft smile for her, "I suppose I should walk you home. It's gettin' late."

(Lyrics are Damien Rice in "Cannonball")

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-09-30 14:02 EST
"Aye ah know ah'll find muh niche eventually. Jus' ye know....ah donna think ah skill o' gamblin' and dealin' cards and drinks realla seems like ah profession or niche, nae mattah 'ow much ah enjoy doin' all dat. Ah used tae travel tha seas ye know....bu' ah donna know....kinda feel like ah found muh footin'"

She was grounded with her land legs it seemed. Truth be told it was Shane that kept her here rather then wandering. He felt like home to her. No matter the fact that she would not admit that. Not now. Her hands pulled away from his hair as he looked to her. A soft crinkle of eyes as she sighed softly even as the smile touched her lips again.

A quiet chuckle as she shook her head.

"Ye see yer alreada expandin' yer business, 'ave people workin' with ye. Mm...ah used tae draw ah bit....Use tae paint. Still 'ave nae done dat fer ah lon' time. Feels like foreva."

So many facades. So many tricks. There were never lies but ways to bend the truth. Her kind could not lie fully. The Summer Girl watched him for a long moment. The honesty and truth of him, his hardworking devotion and that bit of himself he rarely revealed to the rest of the world was what had her in admiration and affection towards him.

Head bowed spilling the Fox red of her hair to spill over her shoulders and lick at her jaw. Ocean blue eyes shining with the memory of the once had beens and what could be. Wishful thinking.

Things seemed better now, more....realistic. More reasonable. She never had stopped loving him, but still she felt as if being honest, being herself was the best choice she ever could make. Maybe he'd never come back to her in ways she would wish. She would take what she could get. Even his friendship was enough then losing him all together.

"Aye....yeah....tis gettin' late. Ah'm sorra ah did nae realize tha time....s'pose should be gettin' on."

Soft smile offered as she rubbed at the back of her neck,fingers palming that good luck charm as the ocean blue eyes lifted.

"Would be nice if ye donna mind walkin' me 'ome..."

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-10-03 14:07 EST
"Of course I will."

He knew that in the vast mix of all that was Rhydin, it was better she not do all that walkin' so late by herself. It didn't matter how well a woman could handle herself, the stereotype of being an easier target followed all women so when she walked alone....it would of course gather a greater attention to her.

Shane was the extrovert. Extroverts liked crowds and meeting people, but they weren't particularly fond of getting too personally close to them. How many that had known Shane knew of his dreams or aspirations" If the gangstar didn't write it, how likely was it that people knew it"

He got up, leaving the lights on at the house as he walked her to the door. When they stepped outside Gauge was already back laying on the porch and got up when the door moved. His heavy collar jingled as he scratched his neck, hound-dog grinned and looked like he didn't know what they were doing but he wanted to be part of it.

Gauge would follow them for a good hundred meters before turning back to home. He smiled as he looked at her, eyebrows knit as he looked ahead.

"You still live at the same place?"

Jacinta had seemed different from the woman he first met. She melted and transformed. She'd seemed sexy and confident. Then sick and insecure. Now it was like she'd meditated and he wasn't sure if she was at a realistic level of condifence, or if she was just content with all she'd thought on.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-10-03 15:45 EST
Changing like the seasons. Turning and changing. Adjusting as she always had. Like the turn of the tides.

She smiled warmly with the offering of him taking her home. Ocean blue eyes rested on him for a moment as she thought on it all. So much that had passed between them. He perhaps knew her better then anyone. She'd like to think the same thing could be said about her knowing him.

A hand palmed through her hair as they left to step outside. An affectionate rub of ears was offered to Gauge

"Nice seein' ye again' boy. Hope ye like tha treats."

She watched the hound dog as he followed after them. Side glance to Shane as they headed off.

"Yeah, still tha same place. Nae realla found anaplace dat seems tae suit me ye'..."

Staying with Sidonie seemed interruption of her life, so the room at the seedy inn at the docks seemed the most suitable. Jacinta just couldn't confess to him that truth be told, staying with him....had been the closest to home she ever had felt.

It felt like some place that she belonged, but it couldn't be.

In so many ways she had changed but in other ways she was very much the same. The anxiety in crowds still loomed and she wasn't so confident but slowly and surely she was finding comfort within her own skin.

Arm looped through his own as she smiled to him. Time changed many people. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. She hoped this time it would be for the better.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-10-05 14:55 EST
"I remember when I first came here," he said with a smile that showed his dimples, even in the dim of the night. Eyebrows arched up slightly as he looked to the sky like it held all his recollections, "It was....oh maybe a year ago or so. You know the funny thing about it was I never really felt weird or out of place when I got here. I dunno how that happened."

His body went ahead of her just slightly when he gave a rock a good kick. He had that habit, it was like skipping stones except they just scatter-danced over the face of the road. Sometimes they're twist off in awkward patterns, which distracted and amused him more than the straight shooters.

"You'd figure it woulda bothered me more, being that I hadn't been anywhere really but Ireland. Born, raised, then toon a ship here. But that shipride....yeow, it wasn't like some of the magic you see in the inn where someone just...poof, and they're there."

Nah, Shane had a couple things that redeemed him as a man of quality, but magic and mystery and being a dark, broody sexy sort just hadn't been him. He thought he was more endearing for women, borderline a playful big brother. There was never a moment Shane appeared to be anything more than human and at times he wondered if, in Rhydin's great mixture of sex and magic, if that made him bland and boring. That taking a boat to Rhydin had been an outdated practice.

"It took me....oh, seven months to get here?" he chuckled as he looked at her, tilting his head to the side, "There was a woman on the ship that said my accent was a bit thick and that in Rhydin there was such a mix of people that I ought to make myself better understood. So I guess to pass time she helped me iron it out some. I'm kinda disappointed, actually," he saw another rock he wanted to kick but he withheld the desire and looked back to her, "cause I've heard all kinds since I got here, some so thick that I'm like to think there's no strain of English in it at all."

The wind changes when you approach the ocean. It picks up, salty, cool, and very nearly carries tiny sediment with it as it moves. Something dirty and cleansing about it, even if the smell of dead fish and ocean grim was thick in it. Small mounds of kelp looking like creeping, black rats sleeping on the wet sand. He lifted up his chin like he could smell the change of ground as they approached and smiled at her, the progression of it like a slow warmth that spoke of an inner peace.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-10-10 06:44 EST
"Aye been ah bit longa den dat fer me 'ere. Course ah wen' buh ah differen' name den. Sometimes ah think....ye jus' linger in whut yer used tae."

As the walked on the docks she tipped her chin back letting the salty touch of the wind stir and tousle the locks of fox red, breathing in the scent that was all together pleasant and disturbing to Jacinta, but still it smelled for now....home....to her.

It was not Ireland but the docks were rough and ragged, savage and jovial. Wild and lively. So many complex contrasts that she could relate to. A smile was shot in his direction as she shrugged a bit.

"Ye know....sometimes ah wonda, where all o' it will gae from 'ere....bu' den ah jus' leave it all ah suppose tae 'appen as it will. Ah 'ope thin's stay good. Ah'm tired o' roamin' tae find ah place...dat feels like ah belong."

She felt comfortable with Shane. More like herself and who she truly was meant to be. Did that mean belonging? Who was to say. A sigh breathed out and she stared up to where the moon remained. It was late.

Soon enough they would be there standing in front of the Inn that she called 'home' and work as well. Wistful smile well masked before she looked up to him with a grin.

"Well....dis is muh stop."

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-10-10 09:09 EST
The ocean wasn't freedom for him. He hadn't spent so much time on a ship and associated it with being as willful as the sea allowed. There was really only a handful of times he'd ever stepped on one— the first being his transition from life in Ireland to life here. He had treated the ocean as an enormous barrier to keep all that had been, that stressful past, behind him.

Walking the docks was no different from walking the end of the world. His hands in his pockets, his smile long and bright for her as they talked. Sometimes when she spoke she sounded half in a dream.

"Where it will go," he paused at that and looked down at the ground before his eyes trespasses back to her, "Sometimes I wish I could look ahead and know. "

Belonging. Jacinta knew all the details, knew all there was to him at this point. A small part of him felt relief that knowing all this didn't make her bored with him. That she still looked at him with an enthusiastic smile. While they'd seen the ugly in each other and walked out of it holding hands. Yet part of him held back. The part that wasn't kissing her or inviting her to stay over. Was it the last part of his hesitance" The part that feared he was not seeing some lingering problem that would just cause history to repeat"

At the stop at her door, this wind combs through his hair and he smiled at her taking in a breath of the sea and letting it fall out of his chest.

"You know, I'm ready now," he kicked at the ground. There weren't any good shaped rocks to bother with, "I got most of the anger Darcy left me with off my chest and I'm ready, you know" To go on dates or whatever."

It seemed like that's all he'd say until.

"Would you let me take you on a date sometime?" This was the nerve wrecking question. He wasn't sure that he was prepared for a relationship again. Sometimes he still found bitter thoughts shooting out of his mouth. It concerned him— he'd always loved women and appreciated them for who they were but now and then he found himself commenting on there being a lack of sincerity, love or commitment on their behalf. What he did know was he'd started to feel like his home was more empty than it ought to be and that ultimately....someone else there was what he wanted.

And though Jacinta smiled at him and told him of her great affection, to face perhaps round two was not a path she'd wish to take with him.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-10-10 13:21 EST
The wind called to the Summer Girl just as that part of Shane's soul called out to her in a nature and way that no other had. She closed her eyes for a moment as a gentle smile came to her lips.

Jacinta felt more passive, more tranquil and willing to face the notion of hope when it came to autumn. His presence within the change of seasons meant much.

A change of seasons.

She watched him, letting him speak as her arms embraced her own waist as she watched him. Anxiety was a wicked thing within her spirit and at times she feared that she might shatter with it. Holding herself in those hours she felt like she could hold herself together and not shatter into a million nervous, vulnerable pieces.

Those ocean blue eyes were moon soaked and star driven for a moment. Sidhe eyes. She had trusted him enough to go without glamour. Only her family and Puck had seen that part of herself. Unguarded.

His words spilled through her. Twisting in a tangle of fire and ice that left her breathless. Stunned she looked at him, a quiet smile at her lips. This was not a rebound date. Shane had spent so long a part from them all that it was not a rebound moment.

There was something vulnerable in her eyes then, a worry that all she would do was cause the Irish Bloke another ounce of pain. She'd be damned if she would do that again, damned even more so to let anyone else hurt him.

It was her turn to kick out at the ground. Deep breath sucked in and then breathed out. Fear could only go so far before it met with hope. This was where hope could begin.

Caution to the wind she grinned to him with a spark in those ocean blue eyes.

"Ah would love tae gae ou' with ye some evenin' on ah date, Shane."

The smile remained true and vibrant. He wasn't the only one that grew weary of an empty bed and place to come home to.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-10-11 09:38 EST
It was difficult to ask her for a date for several reasons.

That it wouldn't just be a date. That it would instantly turn back into what they'd been before her sister came into the picture. That there would be no eventual transition. That having finally soothed some of the bitterness from an ill-ending with Darcy that he was interested in dating being casual for a while. Could it ever be casual with her"

That having been friends a moment, the date would convince him that friendship is all they ought to have. As sensitive as she was, as vulnerable and beautiful, he did not know how she would fare if after a date he denied wanting another.

He could not predict any future for it, any outcome. What he did think was that perhaps a date would bring to focus what feelings were there. Did old ones lurk still with a great strength' Had they morphed into something else?

"I'll be seeing you then?" he let it linger in the air and smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek before breaking away. That soft, vulnerable side rendered up to him made him slightly nervous. He didn't want to hurt her, after all.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-10-12 22:27 EST
"Be seein' ye, Shane. Be safe walkin' 'ome."

A smile worn with that kiss to cheek. She had not made any approach or advance upon him. Respecting his wishes, his need for space. It wasn't that she didn't care, it wasn't that she didn't feel for him. She was just giving him space.

She believed it was what he wanted.

"Good Nigh'..."

The kiss was pressed to his jaw as those bright eyes lifted to him. Searching for a moment before guarded by lashes. She wanted to be strong for him. Wanted to be the person that was right for him.

Jinx.

A name meant for heartbreak. For Trouble. Reluctant Queen of Clubs. The part of the deck meant for the Summer Girl's affection and passion.The sign of Clubs symbolized sex and desire in the deck.

Sometimes she wasn't so certain it was her meant position in the deck.

Sigh breathed out. A smile curled at lips as she stood on the doorstep of that seedy inn at the docks.

An awkward moment. One that didn't hold the shyness of sweetly found love of a young spark of affection.

The awkwardness of two that tiptoed around each other. He felt like home to her....but maybe to him the home of her heart could only make him feel suffocated and claustrophobic. She wished she could know.

Only time would tell.

Shane Michael

Date: 2009-10-13 11:34 EST
"Good, great," it was almost a stammer but he was smiling afterward. Boyish looking when his hair got as long as it was now. His smile not innocent or wicked, but something like the way a man smiled when he's relieved without being a choir boy about it.

"I'll see you then," he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before he pulled away. His smile in bright show for her before he stepped backwards several times, twisted around and trotted off. He had no idea why he felt like he was in a hurry to go, just that the feeling that he should linger was far from his mind. Time to go, go go. Before she changed her mind.

As he thought about it, he realized he had done little planning when it came to asking her for a date. Hadn't thought about where he'd take her or what they'd do. Or even what he wanted the outcome of the date to be. Was it selfish that he wanted the date to cement an idea of what she was to him now" Was the inked doll he passed time with just another ill-investment, thought only as a good idea "at the time?"

He had to quit worrying about regret. It was starting to follow him around too closely and make him feel less confident. What will be will be. At the door of his home he realized, quite suddenly, that Gauge was not there to make a racket when he got home. For all the times it annoyed him, he was stunned to find how much it hurt to not be there.

Jacinta Malloy

Date: 2009-10-16 13:24 EST
Uncertainty could become a plague. A torture. She watched him go before she disappeared with the bar, up nod to the faces known as her hands shoved into her pockets. She wasn't tired and hardly ready to call it a night.

She couldn't let her heart linger on futile hopes. Her court was bred for passion and desire, joy and pleasure. Life and lively spirits. Full indulgence. If it was not meant to be she couldn't hold on to a fragile hope. It was not her way, not her court's way.

Jacinta would go on this date and let what happened....happen as it was meant to. If it didn't go as planned then she wouldn't pursue it. Simple as that. It was time to move on if it wasn't meant to be.

"You in for a game Jacinta?" "Oh....ah'm always ready fer ah game."

The Fox's grin came bright and sharp then as she moved to straddle a chair and played a man's game. Cards and Whiskey seemed to know her evenings well.

Carefree and reckless there was a wild burn in her spirit that she wouldn't reveal. Unleash upon them to give evidence to who and what she was becoming.

Coming into her own.

There were threads of doubt but the promise of the Summer Queen still held like a whisper in a soul.

The cards were shuffled and a rueful smile crossed her lips as she looked down to them in her hands. Four Queens.

Soon they all would be together. It seemed destined. Destiny and Destruction.

Future Queens of Summer, Winter, Dark, and High. Even if the future High Queen had made herself solitary these days....it would not matter. The call would be there.

They were all drifters. Drawn together.

"Sae whut's the bet?"

A crook of brow as she watched the pockets reveal their offerings from the men at her table. There was something bright and vibrant in her smile. A reckless burn as the ante was increased and the cards were dealt.

Sometimes it wasn't about winning or losing....sometimes it had to do with the game.