Topic: Wisps of smoke

Pyropheliac

Date: 2007-11-26 01:00 EST
He had come to Rhydin looking for answers. Searching for clues as to who he was. What he had been doing for all these years. Where he had been. What was it that caused this cloudiness in his past' Lance could visualize it almost. A wall of fog, blocking his memories. Or was it' Smoke" It must be.

The flames of his past had died away, leaving memories like wisps of smoke rising from a burned out battlefield, dissipating in his hands as he reached out, trying to grasp for them. They would circle around, shadowy shapes forming in the gray shapeless mass, only to be blown away by an unseen breeze before he could understand what they meant. All he had were glimpses of his story, like bursts of flame when he closed his eyes, burning away in an instant.

The nightmares had been getting worse. Keeping him awake, pacing, restless throughout the nights. They all seemed so real. The screams were loud enough to split his skull as they echoed through his mind. The crackle and sizzle of skin aflame would haunt even his waking hours. He could even smell the acrid odors. The smells of ashes and burning flesh stung in his nostrils like a nest of angry bees.

Were these his dreams" His memories" It didn't seem that they could be. He wasn't like that. He couldn't imagine doing those things that he saw in his nightly, terror filled sleep. Sitting on the edge of his cot, he was sweating, shaking as he stared across the room at his desk. The only other furniture in his bare rented room. His eyes were fixed on a small envelope he had received the day before. The hooded figure had handed it to him quickly without so much as a word. He stared at it now, looking over the smooth paper and reading the words printed in red across it. "Mr. Marsden" His only clue as to who he might have been.

He shook away the sounds of the screams and the smell of scorched flesh. Dismissively he waved at the only candle lighting the room, and the flame extinguished, leaving him sitting in darkness. He would open it another time" if at all. Laying back on his cot, he closed his eyes, the terrible images replaced by a single happy thought. The only one he had made since arriving in Rhydin. "I know who I am now. That should be enough." A smile came to his face as he drifted off to a finally restful sleep.

He would make new memories? His own memories.

Pyropheliac

Date: 2007-11-29 16:38 EST
The deep silence of the small room was broken by the sound of key in the lock, turning to unlatch the simple wooden door. Slowly the door opened and he entered his less than extravagant rented room. He closed the door behind him with a faint "click", he hadn't bothered to re-lock it. It was dark in the small room, the only light coming from the single window that looked out over the alley, the moons light bathing the room in an eerie glow. He thought about lighting the candle, and that was enough that it almost went aflame, but he decided against it, feeling more comfortable with the silence and shadows this evening.

A bottle of whiskey hung from his hand, his fingers wrapped about the neck of the bottle so lightly that it seemed it would drop to the floor. He sat down on his bed and deposited the bottle on the floor beside him. He leaned back, laying flat and staring up at the ceiling, black as a void in the failing light, his vision slightly blurry, aided by the alcohol he had been consuming this night. He had much to think about.

He had arrived in Rhydin quite by accident. Truly he had no idea how he had gotten here. His only memory was a roaring inferno, exploding towards every end of his vision, before settling into silence. When he awoke he had found himself in a forested clearing, the ground and trees blackened by fire, wisps of smoke rising here and there, evidence of the destruction that had taken place. He closed his eyes now, remembering the week of wandering that had brought him into the city proper.

There was something else now. A vision of destruction and death found its way into his mind. Blistering and burning flesh were in front of him, and his hands, now crimson as if stained with blood, were moving to inflict more pain upon the tortured soul before him. He wanted to scream, to run, to escape this nightmarish scene. His hands continued to move, their will no longer coinciding with his own. He was pulling long knives from a pit of fire, claws extending from his fingertips, as he removed the glowing hot blades with a singular purpose" Pain. He watched as it seemed that he was drawing the torture device across a screaming woman's skin, half cutting, half searing the flesh open. The wounds were cauterized as soon as they were created. The life blood would not be spilling out. The pain would continue until he sought to end it. He could feel the wrath and anger flowing through' him' He was not sure that this was him. He knew that he did not want to continue, did not want to hurt anyone, but it was so real. Even now he was lost to the fact that he was still sitting on the edge of his own bed within his room. "Mr. Marsden" a sinister voice called out to him. The evil inflection in the words brought him out of the vision, sweating, as the woman's screams from his dream had now become his own.

There it was. The letter he had received only days before, with its crimson lettering scrawled across it. "Mr. Marsden" The voice escaped the nightmare and had read the title on the envelope, causing even more terror within the young man. He sat for long moments, hours possibly staring at his desk and the letter upon it. Finally he gained control of himself again. He stood, walking to the desk. He had to force every step, his legs seeming as anchors, as he dragged his feet across the room. He made it to the desk and forced himself to tear open the envelope, fearing that if he hesitated he would leave it there forever to haunt his dreams, and now his waking hours, tormenting him slowly into a spiral of sorrow.

He read the letter by the moonlight coming through the window, word for word, slowly mouthing everything that was written. He got to the bottom of the page, tears welling up in his eyes, the amber glow now gone dark. Finishing the letter he dropped it to the floor. He was not far behind. He collapsed on the wooden floorboards, staring at the wall but looking miles away, his mind taking him far from the darkened room. He managed to stop his sobbing and pull himself up onto the bed once more. His eyes closed now, and in no more than a whisper he uttered the words that had been burned into his mind. Those words that had taken the strength from his legs, and brought him to the ground.

"The sins of the father?? And darkness took him.

Pyropheliac

Date: 2007-12-03 03:54 EST
He wasn't sure who he was. Who he was meant to be. But he didn't like who he was now. He wasn't satisfied with who he was becoming. The nightmares hadn't stopped after he had read the letter he received days before. If nothing else they had gotten worse, and it was straining his day to day life. Straining his relationships with the few friends that he had made since coming to Rhydin. He couldn't sleep without help. He had been pounding down whiskey every day now, the blinding drunkenness the only thing that would allow him any amount of comfort when he closed his eyes. The visions of torture and death were coming to him even in his waking hours now. Simply closing his eyes brought the scenes of pain to his mind, haunting him, cursing him, destroying his psyche.

At least he knew it was not him causing this terror now. He hadn't been the one doing those things, hurting those people. But there was something of that evil inside him. There had to be. "Mr. Marsden". He had been hearing the name called out in his mind more frequently now. He knew he held the legacy of that hate and malice in his blood. "The sins of the father?" He had been repeating the words to himself since they had been read. He knew now where his name came from. When he had arrived here he had been asked his name. He knew it to be Lance, but the surname" He had chosen the name "Mars". It had come to him too easily to be mere coincidence. He had left out three letters. The three letters that turned him from lost youth, to a man terrified of his past. Horrified of his history, and what he was to become.

"I'm sorry." He was ashamed of his actions as of late. He had only thought of himself. Only of his problems, what he was going through. He was shaking his head, trying to clear his mind, and maybe his soul of the frightening thoughts within. He was ashamed of himself now. What would someone think were they to come upon him crying like a child" The tears were running down his cheeks, turning to steam in the heat that radiated from his flesh. "I'm sorry." He threw his bottle of whiskey against the wall of his room, shattering it into hundreds of shards, the alcohol dripping down the wall to the floor. Standing from his bed, he walked out the door, not even bothering to close it behind him. He would free himself of the dreams. He would free himself of the guilt. And he would make amends for the things he had done.

"The sins of the father?" He scoffed. "The fire will cleanse me." He was walking out into the night, some things needed to be done, and had to be done right now.

Pyropheliac

Date: 2007-12-05 23:08 EST
"You should burn them! Kill them all, you know you have the power to do it. Why do you run from it' Where do you think you will go' When they find out' find out what you've done!"

"Leave me alone!" He screamed into the blankets on the bed. He hadn't left its confines in over a day. There he sat, a pillow covering his face, begging and pleading for the voice to leave him alone. He had been unsuccessful in driving it away. It had been showing him images, things that appeared to be him inflicting torture on the innocent.

"Listen to you? "Leave me alone!" Your pathetic! How could you even be my blood?"

"I'm not you! I'm not like you! I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Oh that is true. You are nothing like I was. You are a disappointment. But we can fix that. You will hurt people. You may not want to' yet alas you will. That is your punishment!"

"Why am I being punished" I've done nothing to you!" He threw the pillow across the room, sailing into his desk and knocking several empty alcohol bottles to the floor. He got up from the bed now. He was yelling, and pointing at the pillow, needing something, anything to focus his anger on. "You're the one who does these things! You hurt and tortured those people!"

"But of course I did, silly boy. And you will continue my work. Your punishment will be the punishment I can no longer inflict! You are the cause of that , and now you will do my bidding!"

"Why are you haunting me" Why must I do these things you demand?" He was slowly losing his mind. He had seemingly been arguing with himself since the morning before. There had been no meals in that time, he hadn't been eating hardly at all in the last week. The whiskey had run out sometime the previous afternoon. Its intoxicating effect no longer easing the images, and the voice had begun taunting him, trying to turn him against himself.

"Haunting you? How interesting for you to word it so well. You must take on my' "experiments" because its your fault I cant continue them! How quickly you dare to forget the pain you have caused. You are the one who killed me! You are a murderer" and you will do it again!"

The words struck him as if they were a physical blow to the chest. Terror racked his body, drained the life from his limbs. He found himself on the floor again, knees to chest, curled up in a ball on the cold wooden floorboards. He was muttering to himself, his mind in the clutches of this demon. This ghost as it would seem. He didn't believe that he had ever killed anyone. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it.

"Oh you think you can hide from your past' You think that because something is unpleasant that you can just forget what you've done. You murdered me! Believe it you sniveling fool!?

The voice had one more punishment in store. One more trick up its sleeve. One last vision for the tortured young man. The scream that erupted from the small rented room could not even be considered spoken word, it was simply a wail of pain and misery, and again, darkness took him.

Pyropheliac

Date: 2007-12-08 19:33 EST
Day 1 The new life of Lance Mars



I have recently decided to keep a history of the new beginning I have received. I do not care to call this a journal, or worse yet a diary. It is simply a collection of thoughts I can look back on in order to reflect on my progress with what I now refer to as my "condition".

The voice that haunted my dreams has gone all but silent now. I have not heard it calling on me, or taunting me as it had done before. Its questions have been replaced by sweet silence. The visions have subsided. Those images that once brought me such terror are no more. I can close my eyes and know that all I will see is the backs of my lids. It is dark yet peaceful.

Three days ago I was in grave danger of losing my mind. I was all too close to allowing it to take over. The whiskey I had been using to medicate this condition had finally failed me. I was burning far too hot for the alcohol to have any kind of lasting effect, although I did not know it at the time. I had only feared that I was in need of more drink to cure my ailing mind. I managed to fight against it, and hold it at bay all the way to the inn. From there I can recall that I went inside. I remember collecting several items. More of the whiskey, for that is the main reason I had fought my way through the torment to get behind that bar. From there I believe" I say this, as I know not for sure all of the details from this point forward. I believe I had entered the kitchen in search of food, for I know that I had not eaten in days. At that point sanity and clarity had left me and I had known only darkness.

I had awoken later. Were it a moment or an hour I could not be certain. I found myself on a couch in the inn. The cushions were badly burned and my clothes singed at the edges. Staring up I saw two faces returning my puzzled look. One was a young man, no more than a child. A monk of an order whose name escapes me. The other a young woman, the same age as I. The woman, whose name I learned as Penny, and the boy, Mathew, had saved me from an ill fate. It seems that Penny had held me, speaking soothingly to me as I fought my inner struggle. The young monk had concocted a remedy of simple ingredients. A brew that had been force fed to me as the battle raged within. Between the two I had appeared to make a recovery from the effects of my "condition". I thank them both now, for I fear I may have failed to then. Without the help of two complete strangers I do not think I would be myself this day.

Since that fateful night I have seen Mathew only once. A fact I do not find all too strange as I had never seen him before my fall into strife. Penny, the young woman, I have seen each day thereafter. She seems to want to help me. To care for me.

Two strangers, as I said before. Compassionate individuals. They have given me a second chance in this. A "new life" if you will. I have now learned what a simple act of kindness can do for another.

I have decided to continue writing in this book. To keep a record of my struggles within. In some way I feel it may be used as a tool to help me understand why I seem to have been inflicted with this.

In conclusion to this, my first entry, I once again need to give thanks. To Penny' To Mathew" I fear I may have become someone else altogether were it not for your unselfishness. You will most likely never read any entry in this chronicle, yet once again I would like to express my gratitude for what you have given me. I thank you both.