Topic: A Happy Truth

Elspeth Bradan

Date: 2017-01-09 09:57 EST
Gossip traveled fast through the court of Carib, but it followed on the heels of the truth today. That Princess Elspeth had persuaded the king and queen to finally take time for themselves and cancel their meetings for the afternoon ahead of them, leaving advisors and petitioners at a loose end for one afternoon. Most took this in stride, glad to have leisure to spend with their own families, for the court was also dismissed to their own ends. Elspeth, it seemed, was not above using her own power with a gentle hand when it came to the well-being of her brother and his wife.

As for herself, she retired to her own private gardens under the watchful eye of her champion, failing to sew under the bright sunlight as she plucked up her courage to speak.

"Miles," she spoke to him, raising her eyes to her armed escort. "Will you sit with me a while?"

Miles, too, had heard some gossip, mostly of marriage proposals linked with the princess' name. Though thus far he had not heard that she had accepted, the gossip had put him in a dark mood, and the noon meal with his father and brother had not helped matters any. All they wanted to talk of, it seemed, was politics and the state of the nation now that Henry and Brynhilde were King and Queen of Carib. It seemed no one knew or even cared how he felt like a puppet, without the ability to choose a life and a fate for himself. He was only a second son of a baron, and it was only through the king's good graces that he had achieved the rank of Royal Champion.

He could just as easily have been sent away to dedicate his life to the church, and while that was a noble calling for some, it was not the life that Miles had longed for. Still, none of this was the princess' doing, and it would not be fair to spoil such a fine day as this moping about his own problems when she seemed so content. It was her voice that drew him away from his own thoughts and worries, turning to face her as he stood nearby, posing as both guard and escort.

"Hmm?" he asked, arching a blond brow at her in response to her question. "Sit' Yes, I suppose I could do that," he said, shuffling over to take a seat on the bench but leaving a respectful distance between them.

Laying her sewing in her lap, Elspeth considered him for a long moment. He had saved her life once, but more than that, he had been the first person in this land to offer her his friendship. In answer, she had asked for him to be made her champion and protector, and he had never shirked in his duties. But it wasn't duty that made her seek his company. "Is this a suitable hour to ask if you would let me speak with you, my lord?" she asked him softly. "Should I wait until the sun has dimmed, or your mood improved?"

He scowled, her question not helping his mood any, though she was gentle enough in the asking. He knew it was only a matter of time before the king and queen chose a proper suitor and then his fate would be, once again, in his father's hands. She had become, in all honesty, his closest friend, but though he needed a friend, his heart had yearned for something more. "Now is as good a time as any. If you wait for my mood to improve, you may have to wait days," he replied, trying not to offend her with his bad mood.

Well, this is a good start, she thought to herself, making an effort not to sigh at the unlikely beginning to what she had hoped would be a happy conversation at its end. "Miles ....there are things about me that you do not yet know," she said softly. "Things about my origin, and my experience, that you have a right to know before I ask you the question on my mind. I know you are curious, as most are, but I trust you with this knowledge and I want to tell you. Will you hear me?"

Miles blinked, a little surprised at the seriousness of her statement. So, this was to be a serious conversation. Perhaps this was where she'd break the news to him that she'd finally accepted one of the many proposals of marriage and that his services and friendship were no longer needed. "There is no need to tell me anything, Highness. I am but a mere servant," he reminded her before continuing. "But if you wish to speak of such things, I am willing to listen and keep your words in my confidence."

"You are not a servant," she insisted vehemently, frowning at his willful perseverance in believing himself less than her. "You are my closest and dearest friend, and I don't want there to be lies between us. I am not the princess you think I am. I was born a bastard, the daughter of a common woman who had the love of my father, who was a prince. To protect myself, and my brother, he did not acknowledge us. We did not even know who we were, until politics and plotting gathered us up and stole our mother's life. We were delivered to our father, our uncle, and acknowledged as royal, but we grew together in a poor border town. You are higher born than I am, and far nobler than I could ever hope to be."

That might not have been the way she'd meant to tell him, and from the look of astonishment on his face, her admission had come as something of a shock to him, despite the rumblings of gossip among the court that he tried to ignore. He knew she was upbraiding him in her own way for finding himself inferior, but whether she'd had common beginnings or not, she could not deny the royal blood that flowed in her veins. "And I am the second son of a baron. I have no title or land to my name. My prospects are few and my choices are fewer. I am not telling you this because I feel sorry for myself or my lot in life, but because it is true. Is this what you wanted to tell me" So that I do not fret so over my own humble beginnings?"

His answer momentarily dumbfounded her, robbing her of speech as she stared at him. "In part," she managed eventually, shaking her head as she tried to gather words to her tongue once again. "There is more to tell, and only once it is told will you, perhaps, begin to understand why I am telling you this. I am trusting you, not only with my secrets, but with my brother's, also. Can you not think of a reason why I might do that, for the dearest companion of my heart?" She bit her lip, not giving him a moment to consider that before plunging on.

"I am not a maid," she said, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with her abandoned sewing. "This, you guessed, but I have never told you how it came to be. When my brother and I were caught up in court politics in Pomerania, we were separated, and my life was held over his head to ensure his obedience. My mother lost her life defending my virtue, and one of the lords involved in the plot took custody of me. I thought he was kind, until ....until he demanded payment for his kindnesses. He kept me in his bed for a fortnight, and it is only the Goddess' mercy that kept me from bearing his child. You are a purer, nobler person than I will ever be, Miles. And Goddess help me, but I love you."

He opened his mouth to reply to her question, but it seemed it was not a question that required an answer as she continued on, not waiting for him to even consider what she'd said before plunging onward. By the time she was finished with the telling, his expression had changed several times, going from confused to angry to astonished all in the matter of time it took her to tell her story. It was a lot for him to take in all at once, and he found a chaotic jumbling of emotions rising up inside of him. Pride and compassion mingled with sadness and anger and even at the end of it, with wonder, hardly believing what he thought he was hearing. With so much to consider, his mind was having trouble absorbing all that she'd said, while his heart felt torn. But in the end, after all the horrible things that had happened to her, she had said that she loved him. Him.

Elspeth Bradan

Date: 2017-01-09 09:58 EST
He wasn't sure if it made things better or worse to know that, but this wasn't about him. She was trusting him, of all people, with her secrets and with her brother's secrets, and he knew these were secrets he must never share - secrets he must take to his grave, no matter what. He remained silent for a long moment, at a loss for words. Part of him wanted to rage and demand to know who had hurt her so that he could extract revenge, while another part of him wanted to take her in his arms and confess his own undying love, but what would either of those actions do, besides make things even harder for her" He was not purer and nobler. No, not when his heart burned with hatred for the man who had hurt her. Should he speak of his love, though she was high above his station' Would it help her to know that he loved her or would it only bring her even greater pain" "Why are you telling me all this?" he asked, at long last finding his voice. She had said he was her dearest companion. She had even said that she loved him, but that was not reason enough to trust him with such secrets. Can you not think of a reason why I might do that, for the dearest companion of my heart" These were the kind of secrets one shared with a spouse or a lover, not someone who could only ever be a friend.

Raising her eyes to his, she hoped he could see how moved she was that he had not immediately turned his back on her, knowing now the circumstances of her state. Tentatively, she let her hand creep over to touch his. "Because I love you with all my heart, and because I trust you with everything that I am," she told him in a quiet tone. "And because I would ask you one last thing. Would you, Miles Bradan, consent to wed me, to be the companion of my days until my last day, and to let me love you all the while as the truest man I know?"

Of course, he had not turned his back on her. He loved her, after all, despite or maybe in part because of everything that had befallen her. It mattered to him that she was not a maid, but not because he found her lacking or soiled in any way, but because it horrified him that she'd had to endure the worst kind of defilement a man could possibly commit against a woman, whether she was a maiden or not. And to know her own mother had died defending her did not lessen the rage that burned within. But then, she was talking about love again and the prospect of marriage, and all the anger and hatred went out of him, leaving him feeling even further confused. "What - me?" he asked, clearly astounded by such an idea. He thought at first she might be toying with him, but she was not the kind to toy with a man's heart, especially not one who clearly meant so much to her. At least, he knew that much. "Highness ....Elspeth ....How?" he asked, still at a loss for words.

She watched his face as he struggled through all this, wishing she had not simply thrown it all in his lap, unable to take the words back and feed them to him more gently. "My brother and his wife have insisted from the first that they will not force me unwilling into marriage, that the man I wed will be my choice," she said softly, looking down at their linked hands. "You are my choice, if you will have me. And if not, tell me quickly and let me grieve the loss of you that I never had."

"Me?" he echoed again, obviously still in a state of shock at not only the news that she loved him, but that she wanted them to be wed. In a time when arranged marriages, especially for political reasons, were commonplace, he was especially shocked to find the king and queen had promised her she could marry for love. "But Elspeth, I have no title, no land, and no prospects. It is only because of your brother that I am here with you today. What kind of life can I offer?" he countered, turning his body so that he could take both her hands in his. "I am but a servant of the king and nothing more. It is my father and brother who hold all the power and influence in my family. They could send me away tomorrow, and there would be nothing I could do to stop them." Of course, it was unlikely that would happen, so long as Henry saw a use for him, but that wasn't the point.

"If all these worries were answered with solutions, would you have me?" she asked him, worry of her own now stark in her eyes, afraid he would reject her for no reason other than this misplaced belief that he was in no position to be her husband. "Miles, I need to know. I have trusted you with everything, given you my heart and told you so. But all I hear from you is talk of wealth and influence, and it frightens me. Is there not even a slim hope that you might love me, someday?"

"Love you?" Miles echoed, his voice sounding for just a moment as though he might scoff at the idea, but that was not his intention at all. In fact, it was just the opposite. "Of course I love you. I thought you knew that by now," he said, meeting her gaze and giving her hands a soft squeeze. If there were to be no more secrets between them, then she might as well know the truth of that, too. "Do you think it matters to me that you're not a maiden" Of course it matters to me, but not in the way that you think. I would do anything to take that pain away from you, but I cannot. I cannot even seek revenge on the man who hurt you. I cannot profess my love or ask for your hand in marriage. Even now, when you speak of such things, I do not how to respond. Would I have you? Yes, I would have you, and I would love you until the end of my days, but I do not know how to make it happen, and I fear I would die to see you with another."

Sudden tears were his answer - not of sadness, but of joy, spilling over her cheeks as she smiled at his answer, clinging to his hands, heedless of any eyes that might spy them. "Then we will be wed," she told him happily. "My dowry is a dukedom, my darling lord. You will have rank and title, land and estates, and influence, the highest in the land save the king himself. All for loving me and not expecting anything but my friendship in return."

He looked in wonder of those tears, too, floundering for words, unsure what to say, his mind a muddle of confusion. "What ..." he murmured, as all of this slowly sank in. "A dukedom. The king would make me a duke?" he asked, clearly in awe and hardly believing he was hearing her right. He, the second son of a baron, would be made a duke and given rank and privilege above so many others, just for loving her" It was almost too much to believe.

She nodded, fumbling to wipe her face dry before answering another of his worries spoken aloud. "As for revenge on the man who hurt me, he is dead," she told him. "He died beneath the headsman's axe, executed for his part in the plot that tried to claim the lives of the High King and his sons. It was not a quick death. I was there. I watched him take two blows across his shoulders before the third took his head. And though I may be damned for it, I was glad to see him suffer. Isn't that terrible?"

He sighed, all of his doubts and worries evaporating at the sight of her tears and the knowledge of what she had suffered. He gathered her into his arms suddenly, forgetting his proper place. What did it matter anyway if they were truly going to be wed" "Shhh," he whispered, one hand gently rubbing her back. "If he wasn't dead already, I would have killed him myself," he confessed, almost wishing he'd had the chance to exact revenge himself, but at least, he might be able to help her forget. "You are free of him now. He can never hurt you again. I will make sure no one ever hurts you again."

"I know," she whispered to him, unashamed of her tears. She knew he would never judge her harshly for them. And to her heart's delight, he was holding her as her dreams had hoped he might, taking her into his arms to comfort her as was his right and place now they had spoken, finally, of their feelings for one another. "I never thought I would ever fall in love, or that the man I loved might ever care for me. I should thank those bandits for their idiocy on the road, for giving us this chance."

"Do you think it wouldn't have happened if not for them?" he asked curiously, pulling back a little so that he could wipe away her tears, the barest hint of a smile on his face. He made his heart sing to hear her speak of her love for him; he had never thought he would hear those words from anyone, especially not her.

Elspeth Bradan

Date: 2017-01-09 09:58 EST
"You might have gone your way when we reached the capital if I had not had to be so ....commanding with you that night," she shrugged, her own smile rising in answer to the hint of one on his face. "I talked to my brother about you when we arrived, asked him what it felt like to fall in love. I think I already loved you then, long before I had the courage to say it aloud."

"You hardly knew me then. I was afraid you would come to detest me, even though I ..." He trailed off, as if he was reluctant to continue. There was still part of him that felt he was beneath her, unworthy of her love. "You were like the most precious jewel. Beautiful, but too easily broken. I thought it would be enough to be your champion and your friend, but all the talk of proposals was enough to drive me mad."

"Did you ever think I would ever accept any of them?" she asked him, astonished that he truly didn't seem to have had any idea of her heart all this time. "Old men, children, fat idiots whose mothers wanted a prince ....how could you have thought I would ever wish to be bound in marriage to any of them' For months now, whenever marriage has come to my mind, it has been twinned with hopes of you."

"Because I thought it was hopeless," he admitted with a frown, despite the fact that it now seemed he'd been wrong. "If I could choose, I would have chosen a life of honor and service to my king and my country, and now it seems I will have that and more, all because of you," he said, lowering his voice for fear she might hear the emotion behind his words.

"Then I am doubly glad," Elspeth told him tenderly. "That I can give you myself, and through myself, the life you would wish for above all others. And you need not fear that Henry will deny us - I have already gained his approval, and Brynhilde's, too. Even if your father or brother were to object, though I doubt they would, they cannot sway this course now. The decision was given to me, and I gave it to you and, if you will allow it, our betrothal will be announced as soon as may be."

"Allow it?" he echoed again with a laugh. He would have whooped for joy, if he were given to such things, but as it was, he thought it best to keep this to themselves for now, until the announcement could be made. "You are certain this is what you want?" he asked, taking her hands in his once again, needing to know she was certain - that she wanted him and to share the rest of her life with him.

Elspeth couldn't help laughing as he questioned her, her fingers tightening in his grasp as she swayed toward him. "I was the one asked you for your hand," she reminded him. "You know me, Miles. You know my shyness, my cowardice in the face of what I deem to be frightening or to carry the risk of rejection. Do you truly think I would have dared my own heart and worth on a question to which I did not long for a positive answer?"

"No," he replied, knowing her better than that, but he had to be sure. "I can hardly believe it. You are sure your brother has given his approval" He will not change his mind?" he asked, needing to know this, too. He did not want either of them getting their hopes up only to have them dashed. He did not think his father would object, though his brother might be jealous.

"He will not change his mind," she promised him, smiling at his concern. "He and Bryn drank toasts and poured libations at the midday meal when he told her of my request. They will stand by us and our choice, I am certain of it, truly. I will be your wife, Miles. I swear it."

His heart soared to hear her say it, to know it was true, not because he craved power or riches, not because he wanted to rule a duchy or lord it over those who had doubted him, but because he loved her with all his heart, and with the king and queen's blessing, there were none now who could stand in their way. There was only one thing more he needed from her to prove it was all true. "Then, may I kiss you, Your Highness?" he asked, unable to hide the smile from his face, even as he trembled with anticipation.

Darker rose touched her cheeks as she giggled softly, ducking her head for a brief moment before seeking his gaze with her own once more. "I have often dreamed that you would," she told him shyly. "Though I have no skill at such things. I have never kissed any man but my brother, and that only on his cheek."

"Well, then, we will teach each other," he told her, practically admitting that his own skill with women was meager or non-existent. He tipped her chin up to meet his gaze, leaning close enough to search her eyes and memorize her face like he never had before.

Despite herself, Elspeth could feel herself trembling as he gently touched her chin, raising her eyes to his in glowing anticipation of her first kiss. Though she had no reason to, she sent out silent thanks to her defiler for not taking this first from her as well. This, she could give to Miles without guilt or shame, and be glad of it.

He had never kissed a woman before, save his own mother, and that was certainly not anything like this kind of kiss. His fingers brushed her cheek, as though he was in wonder of her, as he leaned closer, his heart thumping in his chest. Slowly, gently, he touched his lips to hers, almost shyly, timidly. Their first kiss might not have been the most passionate of kisses, but it was warm and soft and tender and spoke of more passionate kisses yet to come.

Her fingers jumped against her skirt as his lips touched hers, shy sweetness added to the kiss he took and she gave willingly, too shy to touch him though she welcomed the brushing warmth of his fingers against her cheek. It was a kiss that sealed their words and promised a lifetime, broken only when she smiled a little too widely, drawing back to throw her arms about his neck and hold him close. "I love you, Miles," she whispered against his ear. "I will always love you."

He laughed, not because he found her declaration of love funny, but because he was happy - happier than he could ever remember being in his entire life. "I love you, Elspeth," he replied, returning that declaration of love with one of his own, just as sincere. He brushed a strand of red hair away from her face, wondering at the beauty of her once again - not just beauty of face and form, but that of her heart and mind and spirit. "Even when we are old and gray, I will love you still. That I swear."

Delighted, she kissed him without thinking - an expression of her happiness, her love, and it came without needing to think or be afraid of the possible consequences. Her hand stroked his cheek as her lips met his, smile touching smile before once again parting. "You should tell your father tonight," she advised softly. "I will ask Bryn to announce it to the court in the morning."

He delighted in her kisses, each one growing bolder and more passionate, though he did not want to lose control and take advantage of her the way the man who'd hurt her had. He privately vowed to go slow and gentle, once they were wed, and to learn how to love together. "I will. He may not believe me at first. He will think me mad," Miles said, laughing a little at the thought of it.

"I could come with you," she suggested shyly, capturing one of his hands between her own to play with his fingers, glorying in the unexpected freedom to touch him even so innocently as this. She was unafraid of being seen so familiar with him, and it was a freedom that suited her very well indeed. "Would he disbelieve me?"

"No, he would believe you, but I think perhaps this is something I must do alone," Miles admitted, as much as he wanted her there with him, right by his side for the rest of their days. He was a child no longer; it was time he faced his father like a man. He only hoped his father would be pleased and happy for him.

"I hope they will not insist upon a grand public spectacle," she murmured guiltily. "I will happily ride out and tell the world you are my husband, but I should rather wed you in private, with only those who love us standing by. Yet I know I am royal, and should expect to be made some fuss of."

Elspeth Bradan

Date: 2017-01-09 09:59 EST
"Perhaps your brother will grant your wishes. He is the king, after all," Miles reasoned. Large wedding or small, public or private, he really didn't care, so long as she was marrying him and no other.

"Perhaps," she agreed with him, knowing Henry wouldn't force a public spectacle on her if she fought against it. "I am not so excited by the thought of the wedding as I am by the knowledge that I will be your wife. That we will build a family together." She bit her lip, glancing down at her hands. "I was so very afraid you would reject me."

"Why would I reject you?" he asked, surprised to hear her say it, but no sooner had he asked when he realized the answer. "Because of your past," he guessed, reluctant to say much more of it than that for fear or causing her shame or fear or hurt. "It was not your fault, love," he said, cupping her face in his hands, needing her to understand that he did not blame her or think less of her because of it. "It does not make me love you less." In fact, the exactly opposite just might be true.

She smiled faintly, tilting her cheek into the cup of his hand as her fingertips touched his doublet. "All this time, you thought yourself unworthy of me," she murmured, "when in truth I am not worthy of you. I wish I could be the unsullied princess you deserve. All I have to offer you is myself, grown in poverty and a little broken."

"You are wrong, Princess," he contradicted her gently, his fingertips brushing her face. "You are the kindest, bravest, loveliest woman I have ever known. I do not see you the way you see yourself, and I do not care if you think yourself unworthy. I love you. It is as simple as that."

She blushed under his praise, catching his hand to gently touch kisses to his fingertips. "At least now you know the reason for the skills I have that proper ladies do not," she mused with a shrug. "Why it is that I can lay a fire and cook a meal, and yet when asked to paint or play the harp, I panic."

He touched a finger to her lips to silence her, though there were certainly better ways of accomplishing that. "I do not care about any of that. I only care that you love me and that we will be wed. We will make a home and we will have a family, and we will be happy, Elspeth. Above all things, I promise you that."

"I love you, and we will be wed," she promised him in return, almost playful in her repetition of his assurances. "Will you be happy to live here in the capital most of the time" I do not doubt that we will have our own estate, our own castle, but I believe we will likely spend much of our time here, in support of our country together."

"I would follow you to the ends of the world," Miles assured her with a smile. "Where you go, I go. Where you live, I live. If you wish to stay here, then we will stay here. It does not matter where we are, so long as we are together," he told her, though it was really more in the hands of the king and queen than either of them to say what would become of them.

"We will be together, I swear that to you now," she assured him. "I never dared hope I would be so happy in my marriage. I hope I shall never disappoint you, or give you cause to frown. There have been but two men I have ever loved in my life, and the other is my brother."

"You could never disappoint me, Elspeth," he told her quietly, tracing her cheek once again with a tender, loving touch that hinted at further caresses to come. "I will love you always," he said, touching another kiss to her lips, daring to let the kiss linger a little longer this time.

Her smile was like the sun rising over the plain, warm and gentle as the autumn that enveloped them. Kissed, and kissing in return, seemed to come more easily the more often it happened, fueling her hopes that she would learn quickly enough not to make his marriage bed a dull place indeed. "What, then, shall we do to pass this afternoon by us?" she asked softly. "There is no pressing need weighing on us. What would my lord ask of me?"

He could think of some interesting ways to pass the time, and yet, now that she was to be his, he was willing to wait for marriage. "I would do whatever you would ask of me," he told her, a soft smile that matched hers in happiness. "Perhaps we should work on perfecting our kisses," he suggested, his smile widening at the thought of that.

"Perhaps we should," she giggled in answer, though her eyes darted to the windows that looked down on this garden. Though it was her own private garden, it was still a place where people could see her if they so wished, and though she was not ashamed of him in any way, she did not want anyone to pass word of any dalliances before Miles could speak with his father himself.

He followed her gaze and smiled, as if reading her thoughts. "Or we could just walk in the garden and talk of the future," he suggested further, reaching for her hand to give it a soft squeeze, reminding her without words that he was right there beside her and that he always would be.

Relieved that she did not need to say aloud what she was afraid of happening, Elspeth's smile relaxed as she squeezed his hand in return. "I should like that, very much," she told him, setting her sewing down in the basket beside her favored seat. It would be collected when she returned inside by those invisible servants she had never yet caught at their work.

He moved to his feet and pulled her up beside him, tangling his fingers with hers, a smile on his face like none she'd ever seen before, as bright as sunshine on a clear summer day. Today, they might only walk in the garden, but it wouldn't be long before they set forth together on a walk through the garden of life.