Topic: A Life More Ordinary: Take Two

Eris

Date: 2011-07-19 12:38 EST
"Are you really going to try this again? I thought you learned your lesson the first time. Humans are frail, cruel, petty, selfish creatures with a low survival rate. Think about it..they all die. A fatal flaw in their design."

Leave it to the messenger of the gods to never knock or even say hello. Gets straight to the point. Eris didn't have the least bit of interest in having this particular conversation. Far too busy painting her toe nails blood red to to care what Eros opinion was. "So do you think I should go with the simple brown leather jacket or wear the black pants with the lace up sides. Show a little skin" You know, the one with the matching halter top." Getting immense satisfaction when his eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

"You're going to seduce this guy' You've known him how many hours?" Dramatically falling to the couch, clutching his broken heart. He's spent years and years and oh so many years trying to get a date with this girl. Some cheeky, mortal, Irish prat with the gift of gab waltzes in and steals her away. "The black ones then. Makes your butt look really good. Not that I look." Rolling over onto his side hoping to address the more rational side of her. If there was one. "So, what makes you think this Romeo will end up any better than the one of which we do not speak?"

She gave a nonchalant shoulder shrug. "Maybe he's not."

"And you're ok with another loser dumping you again when he finds out you can't be there at his beck and call because you work for a living, don't have time to worship his sorry arse and can single handedly ruin a person's life with a glance" Let's be reasonable here. It will go nowhere at all. You'll be eating gallons of icecream while watching late night tv and ordering crap you don't need from QVC. Remember...you bought a tank..a real freakin' tank and a human sized hamster ball I know you never used."

"Hephaestus loved the tank." Making a true effort to tune him out, even though part of her knew he had a point. "Maybe you're right. It could be one date or a week..a month. Who knows" If there's one thing I've learned about 'life', it's there are no guarantees. Isn't that exciting" At Olympus, it's nearly impossible for me to die, everyone is so predictable and each day is the same. I'm lucky if I get to go out and make mayhem at Zeus' request or help stir up trouble with Ares. On a good day, I can get under Aphrodite's skin ..but it's nothing I haven't done before. I don't have a clue what could happen here unless I use my influence on people. You know what? It's a hell of a lot more interesting when I don't."

Eros heaved a heavy, hearted sigh. Knowing the battle was lost. "It's really boring up there without you. Why do you think I sneak back here all the time?"

She grinned, tossing a couch pillow at his head. "I'm sorry. But, I like it here for now."

"And you like this guy?"

Her lip twitched a little then curled up into a full, blown smile. "Yeah. I mean, he's nice, sweet and just egotistical enough to keep me on my toes without being a pompous arse. Rides a Harley." Wags brows. "Time will tell where it goes, if anywhere at all. You can't get a reward without taking risks. It's a human trait you may not understand. I'll be fine."

Eros would never understand her need to have a 'normal' life. With the ability to will anyone to do almost anything she wanted, messing around with chance seemed crazy to him. "Alright. When the inevitable happens, I'll bring the rocky road icecream." Disappearing back to the Olympus where messages were piling up for delivery.

Eris

Date: 2011-09-21 23:55 EST
"You got a new bed. Big bed. Why' I thought the one you had was very comfortable. Real bouncy."

Eris lips pursed as the knife she was using to slice through an apple came to a screeching halt. Cupid was truly brave to show up here after causing all this trouble. "Seems someone was doing things in that bed I didn't approve of." Palming the knife handle firmly. Too firmly to just be cutting a piece of fruit.

Cupid's adams apple rose then fell in a nervous reaction to what he felt was about to happen. She wasn't known to be forgiving.

"Yeah, so I had to get a new one. There's no way I'm sleeping in a bed someone else screwed some strange woman in ..or man. They might have crabs or lice or some other funky disease. Wonder who caused me all this trouble" If they were here right now I'd split them in half."

Ok, she was in an unusually, foul mood. "Did we break up again? Dropped you like a dirty diaper didn't he" Oh you poor, poor dear." zipping over to try and give her a hug only to be hit in the ribs. "Oooof! Darling and you wonder why they run! You're mean..mean,mean,mean!"

"We didn't break up. ..Actually, we only dated once. I don't think that means we're even together. So we couldn't break up." Pinching the bridge of her nose as a headache loomed on the horizon. "Why am I even telling you this" I ..well I spilled hot coffee right down his leg. Along with a few other mistakes. I told him who I really am. ..I don't know." frowning "Maybe I need to start lying."

Cupid couldn't help it. He cracked up laughing. A dangerous endeavor considering there was a knife only feet from any part of his body she wanted to skewer. "I'm beginning to think you're a blonde. No one wants to date Eris, the Goddess of Chaos and Mayhem. The devil comes to mind when people think of you. Hot devil but a devil all the same. If that wasn't bad enough, you scorched him' Who does that' Sweetie, you're not meant to be among these mortal souls. They're fragile beings with so little going for them. He's a womanizer anyway right' Like the last guy. What was his name?"

Blonde. He called her a blonde. That's not nice. "It was an accident. We were smooching and the cup tipped." At least the knife was let go for now. "He's not a womanizer. He's an artist. A very good one."

"Artist?" laughing even louder now. "That's morse code for playboy, womanizer and jerk. They paint and sculpt nudes just to get their jollies. Let him go."

"He does not." Falling silent as she thought on it a bit. "I don't think so..I don't know." Sighing. "He didn't break up. I didn't break up. I just left. I gave him the option to meet up with me later."

Stealing an apple sliver only to get swatted. "You think he will?"

"Only time will tell."

Eris

Date: 2011-10-27 21:41 EST
"The weirdest thing happened to me today, Eris. Bet you can't guess what can you?" Circling his arch nemesis like a hawk. Seems Eros was actually pissed off at her for once.

"Nope." Buffing her nails with a file. Not the least bit worried about the angry puppy sniffing at her heels. "I was busy all day terrorizing Athena. Ask her. Poor virginal thing was frothing at the mouth over the guys I had dancing through her temple in wearing next to nothing. Bet she regrets her lot in life about now."

He thought on that possibility a moment then decided Little Miss Chaos always had plenty of time to cause trouble. "Don't buy it."

"Suit yourself." Not once even glancing his way.

"Someone cast a spell on me or something. Here I am about to make sexy time with the most beautiful, red head. Jasmine, in case you wanted to know."

"I don't."

"Yeah, well now you do! So where was I" Oh yes, so here we are all hot and heavy under the sheets when it felt like a knife was stabbing me in the arse. Over and over. This I could somehow surmise was just her getting frisky, except her hands weren't down there. Then guess what?" Leaning in to put his face right in front of her nose. "Guess. Oh please do. I'd love to hear it."

She'd play his game. Dropping both hands to her lap, glaring at him. "You farted elephants and butterflies."

Eros choked on his own tongue. Quickly recovering to emit a "Nooooo!" like a howler monkey in heat. Fists balled, ready to strike. "My head went flat! Flat as a pancake. Got all wide and grotesque like it had been smooshed!"

"Oh you poor thing." Her deadpan voice showing no signs of concern. He looked normal now. She was watching his fists with growing interest. Would he actually hit her after all these years"

"I look like a steamroller ran over my head. She ran screaming from the room, leaving only her bra behind. I bet I never see her again."

Chuckling filled the room. "You only care because you didn't finish the deal. Besides, it wasn't a steamroller at all. It was a demon foot. Two actually."

He did a double take on that. "A what?"

"Demon. Jumped on your head. Well not your actual head but.." Digging the voodoo doll out of her jacket pocket. "THIS head, which happens to be a magical, Eros doll that I can manipulate to make your life a living hell. I'll be damned, it works!" tickling the dolls feet only to see him jumping around, giggling like a lunatic. "Best..buy..ever."

"Stop it! Stop it!" Nearly losing his breath from laughing so hard. "You let a demon stomp on my..its..thats..head" What if he killed me!?!"

"He didn't. You're fine."

"My gawd Eris, you really need to get a life. If only to quit f**king with mine!"

Rising up from the couch, heading to the privacy of her bedroom. "That's like the pot calling the kettle black my friend." Slamming the door behind her.