Journal Entry dated the 4th of June, 2356th year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

It has now been five years since our worlds were supposed to be wed together, since the war started, since we fell in love. It has been five years since I have last been in your warm embrace, then watched you take sail into the wide, vast expanse of the heavens. I keep telling myself that I will see you again, that you will come home to me...but I feel my hope fade each waking day.

I feel like you stole my heart away with you, and that my bosom is nothing but a gaping, cavernous hole in my being. It is so hard to even exist without you; you are all I can fathom of, both awake and asleep. I often find myself in the fields of delirium, the fronds of the plants waving around me as if I were in the sea, staring listlessly up at the three moons or the blazing rays of the two suns encompassing the empyrean. I feel to alone, so empty without you beside me. We were unstoppable in the presence of one another.

Oh! How my heart aches for you! I just wish you would return to me, meu amor. Even a letter would be sufficient right now, just to know you are still alive. That would give me back my hope, maybe even that spark. Please, return to me soon, Armando. Safe and sound, and I can breathe again.

Amor sempre, Juliana ——-

I always find myself flipping through the pages of my diaries on this day...The day Armando disappeared 7 years ago. He feels more like a distant memory that I can barely conjure up a proper picture of anymore, but he still has my heart in his grasp. His memory was not gone, yet. Maybe someday I will be able to ease this ache in my chest.

I know he has been gone long enough to consider dead, and maybe I am crazy or stupid or whatever you want to call it, but there is still this fleeting ounce of hope in my heart that maybe, just maybe, one day he will return to me.

Journal Entry dated the 5th of June, 2351st year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

I know you just left yesterday, but I already feel like you have been gone a lifetime. I miss our morning walks, and the way my hand fits into yours. I wrote a song for you on the piano this morning, and I cannot wait to play it for you when you get back. You will be back soon, wont you? I hope so. Mama and papa are throwing another grand ball at the end of the year, and I am already trying to make designs for my dress! I hope that it will be to your liking.

That boy, Pablo, from one of the other fractions of the planet, the nobleman's boy' You remember him, right' Well, he finally asked for meu caro Maria's hand in marriage this morning! There is no set date as of yet, but I am to be the maid of honor! I am so excited for her, though I fear that I may lose my best friend in the process....I know he loves her dearly and that he will treat her like a queen.

The people are worried about this impending war that looms before our heads, and many have been making double the necessary sacrifices to the gods. I must admit this brings a frown to my face, for it worries me, too. With you out there in battle, my heart bleeds. Come back safely, will you not' It will be in our favor, I know. You and I, we will rule two worlds beneath two suns and three moons, with our hearts entwined.

I was just reliving our time spent on the beach, the waves washing over our bare feet. You were reciting poetry divine enough to please the gods, and your arm was wrapped protectively around me. When you led me to the cove, where watched the sun's set over horizon of the sea green expanse, you bestowed the most heavenly kiss one could possibly muster upon my tender lips. I can still feel your kiss, even now...a day later. My lips are still swollen and burning, and I wish this feeling to never go away. I do not ever want to forget it I wont, it will be with me forever, I promise.

Write soon, meu amor! Sinto saudades de voce! Retornar para mim em breve. Abra"os e beijos!

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

I traced my fingers over the hardpressed dents my feather pen left in the parchment, and the hearts I drew in my lovestricken woe in the corners of the paper. These words were written so long ago, so long ago that I forgot I even wrote them. Our love was such a momentous part of my life, even if his presence was short lived. He still impacted me even in his absence. At the sweet and tender age of 15, I was ready to devote my entire being to this man. He was poetic and charming, and he stole my heart at first sight.

I still miss him. Even if it aches.

Journal Entry dated the 10th of June, 2353rd year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

Hello again, meu amor. The whole kingdom is preparing for the coming of the Summer god, Rahxt. 11 days away and I can hardly sit still indoors because of it. It is beautiful outside, and very festive. Servants have begun to decorate the castle, and I am very excited for the tourney on the day of his coming. I wish you could be here to celebrate with me, Armando. They are supposed to make many sacrifices in honor of the troops and for their safe return. They are adding in a new surprise this year. I cannot hardly wait to tell you all about it. Hopefully, next year you will be able to witness this grandeur event with me.

I am stitching myself a gold and silver gown for the event. It sparkles in the sunlight! My maids gave me the fabric as a gift, and there are jewels sewn into the fabric. It will be fabulous! I will have to send you a small portrait when I get one done.

The weather grows warmer and warmer each passing day, and how I wish we could frolic on the beach like you and I had just three years ago, back when we met. We were so young and naive, were we not' Invincible. We still are, right' I pray each night for your safe return, for word. I miss you, you know. You do know that, don't you? I know it has harldy been two years, but it feels like eons. It almost hurts to lie awake at night thinking about you, because somewhere in the back of my mind I get a feeling you wont return. My heart says otherwise, it swells with the idea of your swift return. I know battles take years, and I am willing to wait forever for you. I love you, come home.

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

Journal Entry dated the 16th of June, 2354th year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

Meu amor, I thought I had lost your engagement ring! I was near tears as I tore through the castle. I probably looked possessed, the way I ran amuck in such an unlady like fashion. I can already picture the smile crinkling your face as you read this. I know you think I was probably overreacting, but it means everything to me. It's one piece of your heart that I know I still hold. It portrays your loving memory; everlasting.

Often times, I find myself twiddling it around my ring finger as if chanting 'Come home tonight' to the heavens will really bring you home. Maybe tonight will be my lucky night.

Eu te amo.

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

I began making a journal out of these returned letters a year after his 'disappearance'. I wanted a chronological recollection of our unwavering love. Something I could present to him on the eve of our wedding to prove that I never once forgot him. And how I never will.

Already, I find myself absently twiddling the ring around my finger, mentally murmuring 'come home to me.' Maybe the Gods will finally hear my demands and wishes, and maybe pass them on to Armando.

Another wave of woe besieges me and I sigh heavily, slamming the carefully carved cover of the journal down.

Journal Entry dated the 16th of July, 2358th year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

I wish for my heart back. I wish I could forget you. I wish we had never fallen in love....because then I would not hurt like this. I bleed, I cry....I ache all day. There is a pit in my chest where cobwebs grow in the absence of my beating heart. I gave you my heart with hopes so high that you would one day return to me. Alas, you have not. I am nothing but misery without you; and I fear I grow worse with each passing day. Mama says if I keep up at this rate, I will merely fade into the shadows of the eve and cease to exist altogether.

If you are alive, please give me a sign, a word, a letter....Something to renew my hope and our love, because as each day speeds past, your memory is fading more and more. I have forgotten the man you were on the beach that one day so long ago now. I cannot do this forever; it is condemning myself to eternal damnation.

I fear I am lost without you.

Retorne a mim, por favor. Eu n"o posso viver sem voc".

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

Somedays I feel like I need him to survive; other days I wish I could forget him altogether. It aches, burns....and it is lonely, demeaning. I think what I feel might be what they call 'depression' here. How can one classify such emotions into a single word? It is mind-boggling.

Journal Entry dated the 15th of August, 2352nd year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

It hurts so much. Por favor, make it stop.

Gods, I feel such excruciating pain, you cannot believe. What sins did I commit to deserve this? My untimely accrued fever mixed with the heartache of your absence have created a maelstrom of aches within my feeble body. I cannot bear it much longer. I shiver from cold, yet my fever runs high and I must suffer without sheets. My ladies in waiting have held steadfastly at my side, with masks over their faces. Cool clothes are constantly held against my face and arms. I sweat so much that my hair clings to my skin uncomfortably. Sleep has not found me in days; salty, sticy tears stream down my face as I attempt to catch a wink of sleep here and there.

I have never felt so miserable and lonely. I know I woul feel better with you at my side. Por favor, come home and make me better. Kiss away my pain.

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

My scrawl is untidy and scraggled, reflecting my state at the time. I recall my inability to hold the feather straight, and there are many ink blots. It was a physically and mentally painful time, and I still don't know how I made it through that alive. The doctor said I was lucky to be so. I say it was my love for Armando that kept me strong enough to hold onto my life and soul...and to keep Moidrox from relieving me of this mortal world.

I hope I am not coming down with something again, I feel something's wrong in my blood. Gods, Armando, kiss my pain and tears away.

Journal Entry dated the 08th of October, 2353rd year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

Gods, this hurts so bad. This, this constriction in my chest is so painful that it dropped me to my knees, prostrating for peace within my warring heart. Life without you feels too painful to bear. The incident happened hours ago, but I can still feel the devilish manner in which my heart was pumping in my throat.

Some eves, I cry myself to sleep. Armando, I do not know how much longer I can last.

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

Journal Entry dated the 22nd of February, 2359th year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

Reco desculpas. Eu nao posso mais fazer isso. Se voce chegar em casa, voce nao deve encontrar-me.

Be well.

Amor sempre, Juliana —-

My fingers trembled, tears blotting the paper and making the ink run. My heart, fragile as it was, was breaking all over again. I couldn't stay here anymore, wound in his memory. In the quiet of the night, I stole out of the manor, the world and away from my painful, desolate demise.

And here, is where my story begins anew.

Journal Entry dated the 02nd of April, 2361st year of the planet Brodaer —- Meu amor Armando,

Why couldn't you just let me forget' Why couldn't you have just leave me in the dark? Thinking you were dead hurts so much less than knowing you're alive....and having a family with someone else.

I hate you. Don't you dare try talking to me ever again.

-Juliana —-

This was the last letter I would ever write him, and I left on my nightstand before disappearing into the foggy dawn. It felt cold and impersonal in my fingertips, and they trembled as I tore the page from my journal.

Oh, Armando, I murmured in the darkness. I wetted my lips, trying to blot out the nasty taste his name left in my mouth. At that moment, I wore to myself I would never utter his name again. Never.

Nor would I ever let another hurt me like that, either.

This wasn't the first time I turned my back on my country, nor the last, swearing never to return. Looking over my shoulder, I sighed, knowing I would miss my family. Afterall, blood was thicker than water. The few remaining shadows beckoned me enticingly, and with one last sigh I lifted the hood of my cap over my head, and stepped into the oily, thick darkness.