Topic: No Place Like Home

Eris

Date: 2011-02-08 23:24 EST
"Yes! My Bed!" Sinking into the soft, silken sheets. Their long, untouched coolness causing goosebumps to race down both once, smooth shaven legs. "Aaah heaven." Murmered with a happy sigh. Eris was pleased to see not a spot of dirt or dust bunny lurking in the corners. Gotta hand it to the automatic, robot, do it all dude she called Jeeves. Or piece of crap when the mood strikes. Was good to be home. Away from all the constant bickering and chaos of her family. Chaos. My the irony of her even thinking about using that word to describe them. She was suppose to be the trouble causing one.

"Do you know that there's very few men living in this place" It's almost all women. Not that I'm complaining. If I was living here, be like a kid in a candy store. It's you I'm worried about. Where are your options" I mean you never leave here so you'd think a smart girl like you would move into an all male establishment."

Eris heaved a heavy breath followed by a growl of displeasure at the interruption before a rather loud eruption of "God dammit Eros! Five minutes. I haven't been back for five minutes! How the hell did you know?"

He fluttered down from the safety of those high ceilings to land all the way across the bedroom suite. As far from the bed as possible. "Well someone needed to guard your place. So I've been living here."

The news did not sit well. He had a hankering for stealing lingerie as gifts to all those lady friends. Raises the question, what did Eris need sexy frills for anyway' "The place has very good security. Hardly needed a live in lazy arse." Fluffing the pillow beneath her head. Pleased to see the uninvited guest flinch. For she threw them at him so often. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"You wound me woman. Really you do. My butt is far from lazy. ..and I have a...key." Flashing out of sight lest she try to do him harm.

She knew he was still there. Lurking. "A key' You have a key to my condo' Figures. Being as I didn't give you permission to use my card key, much less somehow copy it, I could have security here arrest you. For punishment they could pluck out all your feathers one by one until those wings are bare as a babies butt."

"Aaah but that's not possible. They grow right back."

"Exactly." Said with a menacing snear.

Still unseen, he emitted a *gulp* yet managed to keep his composure enough to cattily reply. "You don't scare me." Until a bolt of lightning whizzed past his head leaving black, singe marks on the wall behind him. "EASY! I just got it these locks professionally styled!" Poofing back into site while whisking a comb from the back of those skin tight Levi's to carefully put each tendril of hair back in place. "Back to the topic at hand. Men. There are none. You need to move."

Man, she was so sick of the Love Guru trying to set her up. "Have you never considered I'm perfectly happy just the way I am' You're the one who bemoans the lack of a body in your bed every hour on the hour. I don't. As far as the lack of men here, I find that quality charming in my domicile. The fewer the better. It's quiet. There's no belching or farting ringing through the hallway." Covering her nose.

"Sorry, I had chili."

"Get out. Please. I've been doing tasks for months and I'd like a nap."

My, my, she even asked nicely. Eros knew that meant he was three seconds from getting pummelled or worse. "Going. But I will be back to discuss this further."

"Can't wait.." came the tired mumble from beneath the comforter.

Eris

Date: 2011-02-09 21:00 EST
Eris flew into the apartment, package in hand, already knowing a certain someone was still lingering in her place. The wafting odor of his cologne had the condo reeking of Eternity. While the scent is nice, wearing the whole bottle overwhelms the senses. "You're right Eros! I went out last night and found my true love!"

He was busy making himself a tuna salad sandwich in the kitchen. Thus making an even more delicious odor for her to enjoy. However the unexpected announcement caused the knife to drop midspread. "You..wha..huh' In one hour" In one night' What's his name?"

"What's in a name" That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

"Oh my god you're quoting Shakespeare!" Yet he was still skeptical for good reason. The woman was the queen of deception and trickery. "Did you even get his name or was this one of those wham, bam, thank you kind of events" Cause that don't count." Sprinkling a handful of chips onto his sandwhich, laying on the top piece of bread then giving the whole thing a good smash. "Aah, perfect.."

"Tuna, eggs and cologne. So unappetizing." wearing a sick look on her face. A look that turned to sheer ecstasy when speaking of her 'Romeo'. "I tell you he's absolutely delicious. So sweet..mouthwatering..yummy."

"Ok, ok." Realizing she was really mackin' on this guy. Shoot, her descriptions were starting to make his mouth water. "Go on, go on. What's he look like?"

"Well, he has a round face trimmed in red with some sprinkles of white. Distinguished look."

"An older guy' Well, I must say I'm impressed. Before you said anyone with sprinkles of white hair reminds you too much of Father."

"No, no..this time I've found the perfect one for me. Would you like to meet him?"

Now Eros was really surprised. Not only was she thoroughly infatuated by Mr. Right, Eris wanted them to meet! The sky was falling. Hades was freezing over. Something bad was going to happen. "He's here?"

"Mhmmm." All smiles. Taking out a 12 inch square box to place on the kitchen counter. "Here he is." Popping open the lid.

He should have known this was all a ruse. "That's a ...cake."

"It's not just a cake, this is my one true love. It's a red velvet cheesecake. Creamy, soft, sweet, fluffy, yummy..melt in your mouth. Best thing I've ever had in my life! And, it's all mine forever and ever until I eat it all and go get another."

He stood there with an uplifted sandwich, shaking his head at how easily she'd led him into her trap. "You..madame..are awful. You''ll gain a hundred pounds. Be the first fat Goddess on Olympus. Is that how you want to go down in history' Eris the Enormous?"

"If I'm happy I don't really care. My new love 'Red' makes me very happy. Now if you'll take your stinky sandwich outside. I need some alone time with my sweetheart." Dragging one finger over through the buttercream icing.

Eris

Date: 2011-02-12 23:56 EST
"Are you living with me now?" Eris snapped at her fine feathered friend as she flew in the door, locking every single lock behind her. Shoving a chair against it as well for good measure. "No matter. I've just GOT to tell you something."

Eros quickly took his feet off the coffee table while making it a point to clarify the current household arrangements. "Not living so much as permanently crashing. You see..I had a one night stand with this redhead. They're notoriously stubborn and mean you know. Anyway, she won't leave. And she snores like a freight train so I.."

"Shhhhh..tut, tut, tut..I don't need to know anything more. Didn't you hear me" I've got to tell you something."

"Well pardon my interruption. Shoot away. I'm dying to know what?s got you hopping about like a bunny on hot lava."

She started giggling like a maniac. "I burned Zeus' eyebrows off!"

He blinked once, then again before his right brow arched all the way up to the hairline. "You...burnt...his eyebrows off. Both..eyebrows?" Slapping a hand across his cheek, head hanging low as reality slammed home. "Why are you laughing" He'll kill you! or make your life very painful for a very long time. Have you gone crazy?" on second thought. "No, you've always been crazy but damn!"

Still cackling while plopping down beside him, tossing both arms around his neck. "Yes. Both! He looks like a freak!"

"Oh dear, oh dear. We need to get you down below before he snaps his corset again. I don't know why he doesn't accept with age comes belly fat."

Eris shook her head, wiping joyful tears from her eyes. Any day she can make trouble was a good day indeed. "He doesn't know it was me. All the big names were there for a meeting. So when one of the gryphon statues belched flames, everyone ran for cover. They all look guilty! Mu hahaha!"

"I guess I am moving in now." Putting those bare feet back on the table again only to have her slap them down. "HEY! You can't go pissing the big guy off like that then expect me to head on home. He'll be taking out revenge on everybody he sees. No..no way. I'm staying here until things calm down. Besides, I making a meatloaf."

"I didn't know you knew how to turn on an oven." sounding shocked by this revelation.

"You have to turn it on" "