"Is that your version of just the facts, ma'am?" Collie chuckled a bit as she searched her mind for what she did recall. Each simple fact was a piece in the larger puzzle that was Colleen MacLeod. Each fact brought to mind memories that fell between shadows and crystal clear. "Where to begin. Now that's a question, isn't it?"

Michael watched her for a moment and pointed to the largest window in his office. "If you'd like to walk the room there's a good view of the rooftop gardens across the way. You did say you think better on your feet."

"So I did." She smiled graciously and rose to her feet. The garden was indeed lovely. Collie glanced over her shoulder and said, "You mind if we walk out there?"

"Next session would be better, I think," he said reluctantly. "I can use the voice recorder outside, but since this is your first session it's better to get all the paperwork and records in order."

"Right, so, you're the meticulous sort." She flashed him a smile as she studied her surroundings.

The office was painted what some might call ocean blue. It was supposed to be soothing and calming, but to some it gave off the feeling of being surrounded by a glacier and snow covered tundras. The furniture was cloth covered instead of the leather that some doctors chose. Clearly Dr. Fabares had taken the comfort of his patients into consideration. Leather could get hot and sticky.

"Remember, just stick to facts for now. We'll get into something more in depth next time."

She nodded. "Even facts would be a long list." She paced the room and stopped from time to time to look at the paintings on the walls. "I was born on the ninth day of November in the year of our Lord fifteen hundred and eighteen. I was born a twin. My sister, Celia, died in childbirth," she'd started saying that automatically because invariably people would ask where her sister was. "I was born to Robert of the Clan Struan, technically, it's a sept of Clan Robertson and Eileen of the Kerrigan family. My father was of the line of The Bruce and some of my mother's people came down from The Boru."

Michael held up a hand to get her to pause a moment. "The Bruce and The Boru?" was his query. He jotted a note to ask how she ended up using the name MacLeod if she'd been born a Struan.

"Not up on your history, Doctor?" Collie grinned. "The Boru is how some name Brian Mac Cenntig, the best known of the Irish kings. The Bruce, well, that'd be King Robert the first o' Scotland. One little detail about him that I can tell you. He had a sister called Christina, my Da's mother was named for her. My eldest living daughter carries the name as well." She took a drink from the bottle of water in her hand. "Her second name is after Mam, that'd be Eileen."

"Can you tell me the names of your children?" Michael glanced up from his notes as he asked the question.

She nodded. "I had three children before I came here. I had always thought my first child was stillborn and second was stolen, but that wasn't quite the case, you see. My memories were altered and ..."

Michael watched her as she went off on yet another tangent. "And their names?"

"Oh, right," she nodded, "Ian and Elijah. They were both taken from us, but not dead at least not then. Elijah came here when he was grown, but died here. The third was a girl, Shayla and she was snatched up by some daft fool who thought she was ...." She gave the doctor an apologetic smile. "I do ramble, don't I?"

"Yes ma'am, but you're remembering."

"You want to know about the ones what didn't survive?"

Michael tilted his head to consider the question. "If they were born, yes, but if you miscarried you probably didn't name them."

She lifted a finger and nodded in agreement. "Quite so."

"Sean, Ian, and Christina, they were next. Sean died at birth. The other two came out alive and kickin'. In fact, Christina put up so much of a fuss that I nearly died having her." She looked out the window at the garden again. "Will and Al followed a few years later. Some nit tried to have me declared an unfit mother. Like she knew anything about real mothering." There was more to that sordid tale and she remember bits and pieces. She realized that it was probably best that she didn't remember most of it considering what she did recall angered her to the point where the window glass was creaking.

Michael refilled the water glasses as he listened.

"Garrick and Nicole were next and I ..."

"Is there a reason you name them in groups?"

"Twins, lots of them." The first two had a triplet, but she wasn't backtracking to that again. "Unlike some women in Rhydin, Doctor, I have not birthed my children and then forgotten that they exist. I never did understand that." Again, there was frustration and anger in her mood. "Rhiannon was the first child to be born singly since I got to Rhydin. Rachael and Draven were also single births. Diana is my daughter, but I didn't give birth to her. That's a big kettle of fish in itself."

Doctor Fabares raised a brow and made notes to ask her about her youngest daughter's origins.

"Mir is my youngest by blood. Mara was adopted by Judas and me, but she is no less my child than any of the others. Her mother was prepared to raise a baby, but when some sort of magic user went crazy, baby Mara ended up as a teenager with nary a clue of what was going on around her. Cassandra will always be her mother, too. She had been like a daughter to Judas all her life and when she asked us to raise Mara as our own we did not refuse her."

Collie paused a moment, she was proud of all her children, but she remembered something in particular about Mara. "She wanted piano lessons and even asked if we'd help her save for a piano of her own. Judas and I told her we'd match every coin she saved. She worked hard to save her money. By Christmas that year she'd saved a good third of it. We gave her the piano as gift." A warm and thoughtful smile touched her lips. "I still remember the look on her face when she asked us why. We told her that her efforts had been so sincere and without a complaint that she'd earned it." She grinned at Michael. "Have you ever heard of the singer and musician, Mara Viskan Lasher" She generally goes by Mara now."

"Yes, she's quite good as I remember."

"That's my daughter."

Michael smiled and jotted more notes. "For next time, I'd like to what you remember about your husbands."

She chuckled. "Only the husbands?"

"Unless you have long term significant others let's stick to husbands."

Collie nodded. "Only one of those, but three husbands."

She closed the door behind her as she left the session.

Doctor and patient walked among the blossoming shrubs, bushes, and vines of the greenhouse garden. As Collie gently lifted some of the blossoms, she identified them. Her knowledge of gardening hadn't disappeared. Colleen had retained a great many of her skills and was surprised to learn that she had retained many of the languages she was told she could speak as well. She was fluent in many of the European languages and conversational Russian. She could understand Arabic and from her travels, she knew a smattering of phrases like Hello, how are you, how much does it cost, and where's the ladies in various Earth dialects as well as how to order food.

"Tell me about Judas Lasher," Michael said as they took a seat on a bench.

"I met him in the Red Dragon," she began. "Common enough beginning, I suppose." She smiled thoughtfully. "I liked him at once. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, that's a rare thing, but I did like him very much." She lifted the water bottle to her lips. "He grew on me rather quickly. Whirlwind romance you might say. Some might have other opinions given his illness and all." When she thought about it, much of her life had been filled with whirlwind romances. She wanted something deeper, something more than let's run down the aisle to legalize what?s going on in the bedroom and see what grows afterward.

"Illness?"

"Yes, he was terminally ill when we met. Cancer." She blew some strands of hair out of her eyes. "He went into remission for some time, but eventually, it was what killed him. He was a good man." Her brows furrowed as she considered those words. "I suppose I should say is a good man."

Dr. Fabares gave her an expectant look. It was another of those stories that had more to it. She was good at that, eventually she'd get around to the point!

Colleen gave the doctor a sidelong glance. "You know the old saying about nothing staying dead in Rhydin?" She turned the bottle in both hands and Michael nodded. "It's about as common as the one about women drinking the water and getting pregnant," she quipped. "Judas was brought back by our son, Draven. Not the nine year old, his elder counterpart."

It took time for Fabares to adjust to how she referred to her children that had counterparts. That was yet another subject to cover. Today's was her spouses. Theoretically, Michael could have spent several sessions on each man. His goal, however, was to help her trigger memories not to go so far into her past that it would take him volumes to record all of her thoughts.

"I'm not sure why Draven did it. Maybe it was a need to have his father back in his life. Maybe he felt cheated that he'd come back through time only to end up losing his father again. Our son, you must understand, is a child of darkness and light." Collie frowned. "Judas was a teacher. He was well versed in necromancy and other arts." Her eyes closed and she shook her head. "Much as I missed him, I would not have disturbed his rest." There was more to say, so much more. "He owned New Camelot Academy and was its headmaster until his health began to fail. Too much stress on him. That," she raised her index finger as if to punctuate her statement, "was when he opened the restaurant. Family recipes and such. It was quite a lucrative business, still is."

"He's still running it?"

She shook her head. "Not really. When he died, the school and the restaurant were left to me as his wife. I kept the restaurant going as a trust for Draven. If nothing else, it ensures that he, both of them, will have an income." She pursed her lips. "The school, on the other hand, was donated to the Rhydin Orphanage after Judas was ....revived. Neither of us was happy about what had become of it after Sam Custer died. I don't remember putting Sam's wife in charge, but there she was in the driver's seat and the front office. It was Relm Arrowny that Judas had chosen to run the place with Sam."

"When was he," he used her word, "revived?"

"A few months after Rhiannon's wedding. He just up and appeared in the Silver Moon one night. Rhi passed out." Collie shook her head. "She was shocked to see him alive and she was pregnant with Maggie at the time. Dennis, that's her husband, had never met him and, oh, the fury that ensued when a strange man tried to touch his wife." She closed her eyes. "I guess I just never will understand why Draven waited until after I married for the third time to bring his father back."

Early July 2009 - From the Journal of Colleen MacLeod

My analyst has asked me to gather my thoughts regarding the Maran brothers. What can I say' That relationship has run the course from hate to love and into confusion. Maybe, I feel bitterness, because at the beginning before the incident at the courthouse and that phony funeral I had only known about one of them. I should have known when the kisses were different. I should have known when he, no, they, hid so much that lovers should have shared.

I have not seen either of the Maran brothers since Diana tracked them down and brought them to me. Some things are just not meant to be, a life with either or both them was never really in the cards. At least not on my terms. In reading my old journal entries, I can tell there had been a great deal of emotion invested in that relationship. Since the accident stripped away my memories, I find myself looking at things with different eyes. What once was there, I can no longer find. Some part of me regrets and mourns that loss, but the rest is looking forward to finding the answer to my own hopes and dreams.

There was a time when I would have let go of almost everything for them, but now, I know I was blinded by a past that was what I thought I wanted, but all I have really wanted was to love and be loved by one man, who wants only me. I never would have had that with either of them. Kirin has found that, maybe she has closed that circle for both of us by fulfilling so many of the dreams of our youth. I refuse to give up hope, but I'm afraid to let my guard down now and, so, I build walls around my heart and wrap myself in layers that others cannot see. Maybe one day, someone will have the courage to go past the surface. Perhaps, there is a chance that the unopened Irish Rose shall blossom in the light of the one thing she has never truly had, true love.