It had been an especially busy night at the restaurant. All Nicole wanted was five minutes to herself to think. When the place was cleaned up and the staff had left for the night, she went upstairs to gather up her coat and boots from the hall closet. The redhead found herself staring at the closed guest room door. Marric was either asleep or had not yet gotten in from work. She shook her head as she tugged on her winter gear and went out for a walk.

Before she realized it, she had walked as far as the Harbor Master's Office. It was the sea that called her and the water near the docks was its gateway. Instead of swimming in the chilly waters, she contented herself by listening to the ship's horns and calls around the harbor. By the time Nicole returned, it was two hours later.

The dimly lit apartment was quiet when she arrived via the fire escape doorway. Despite the hour, she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. When a voice answered, she said, "Mama, it's Nikki. I'm sorry about the hour, but ...There was silence on her end as she listened. "I'm glad I didn't wake you." She listened again. "No, no, it's not about the nightmares. They're less and less now." She walked into the kitchen. "You mind if I put you on speaker" I haven't eaten since lunch time and ...."When the affirmative was given, she switched phones and put her mother on speaker so she could have both hands free to fix macaroni and cheese.

The voice on the other end of the line could finally be heard. "Now, what?s goin' on?"

"I'm an idiot," Nicole muttered as she got a pot out of the cupboard. "I did something stupid and I just ...I don't know how to cope."

"Yer not an idiot 'n' we all do stupid things at times. What happened?"

The copper pot clanged against the stainless steel sink as Nicole drizzled a thin layer of cooking oil inside it and filled it with water. "Maybe I'm just not ready for this whole living together thing."

"Criminey, Nicole Elizabeth, yer a grown woman. Don't tell me yer not ready. If ya weren't, ya wouldn't 'ave asked 'im stay there alone wit' ya. Ya would 'ave brought 'im 'ere."

"I suppose you're right." Nicole sighed as she put the water on to boil.

"Look, I don't know what happened, but I'm guessing yer just needin' ta adjust ta 'avin' a man about the place. Adjustin' ta sharin' a place wit' anyone can be a trial. Even if it was was one o' yer sisters it might not be easy. Give it time."

"Mama, I just don't want to screw this up. I just want to get it right and ..." there was a catch in her voice.

Colleen knew that sound all too well. It was a signal Nicole was on verge of a good long cry. She sighed, the puzzle pieces suddenly fell into place. "Nikki, just because yer father left doesn't mean Marric will. Give him 'n' things time. If it's meant ta be it will be. Fer right now, give what is a chance ta grow 'r ya will lose it afore it starts."

"But Mama, there are prettier girls ...there are better cooks....more...." She swallowed. "Well, better endowed."

"Stop it," Colleen murmured as she took a long, slow breath. "There are plenty o' women in Rhydin, probably many lookin that young man over 'n' doin' that," her voice became shrill and girlish, "Oooo look, a single man!! Let's corral 'im up 'n' run 'im down ta the altar afore 'e can get away! We'll 'ave ten babies by the time the month is out!" Collie cleared her throat. "But, my girl, yer the one 'e's been lookin' at. Now, start lookin' back!"

Nicole cleared her throat as she poured the macaroni into the boiling water. "I have been looking back and I always like what I see." She stirred the pasta. "Let's just say this morning I looked a little too closely and embarrassed myself. Probably him, too."

There was no mistaking the stifled chuckle that came over the phone.

"Mother, it's not funny!" Nicole pouted prettily, but it was the sigh her mother's ears were able to hear.

Colleen swallowed audibly. "Honestly, sweetheart, I don't understand the fuss yer makin'. Ya grew up on a farm wit' rams, billy goats, bulls, 'n' stallions. Biologically speakin', men 're no different."

Nicole muttered. "Mama! I'm not ....falling in.....I'm not..." she grumbled, "I'm not emotionally attached to a ram, a goat, a bull or a stallion!"

"Nicole," Colleen's tone was gentle, "I heard more 'an what ya wanted me ta 'ear.."

She took a ragged breath. "I....my food is ready."

"Nikki, don't be afraid ta let yerself be loved 'r ta love someone in return. Yer far too young ta be so jaded, mavourneen."

"I love you, Mama," Nicole murmured.

"I love ya, too, darlin'. Sweet dreams." Collie broke the connection.

Nicole sat in silence as she started to eat her food. The fork clattered on the table and she just stared at the bowl of pasta.