Topic: Untitled

Winter Pearl

Date: 2014-04-08 01:27 EST
Prelude: Pearl - April 2014

Velen and I have been here a little over a year. We're still putting together the bits and pieces of the whats, whys, and wherefores of what we are supposed to do. Are we even supposed to right something else? Perhaps, there is a tear in the fabric of time that wasn't there when we lived through this when the first time, but may have been created by our very presence here.

It would not be the first time such a thing had happened. I have heard the story of Gabriel Wilson, who returned with others of his generation, only to learn that in this time and place, he was not meant to be the same person. If Amber Custer had not taken the steps backward in time then we might not be here now. I often wonder, how much of what was done during her journey caused these ripples in time and space. Each life touches others and when changes are made in one life, they are made in those of that person's closest company as well.

My parents were supposed to have been a bit of a May-December story. I don't remember where I learned of it. What I do know is that when Mama took her steps backward in time, she changed what might have been into a happier life for herself and Da. Had she not taken that chance, there would not have been a Kit, a Rick, or a me. By making that choice, Mama also changed life for her younger self. I think it was a change for the better. My Aunt Rhiannon was not meant to be my mother. While Da is good match for Mama, he would not be for Aunt Rhi. I know how that probably sounds, but time and experiences change people and how they view life. My mother finds joy in family life, teaching, and public service. Aunt Rhi needs and wants something else.

I should explain that in that history my father, Dennis Harker, was drowned saving several children. I should also explain that Kit is the name my younger sister, Catherine, goes by. She started calling herself that at about thirteen. I guess it suits her since she will fight tooth and nail to do what she believes is right.

When Velen and I came from, Uncle Eregor and Aunt Rhi were pretty much joined at the hip, as that saying goes, and happily raising their own family. They have never let the raising of their children slow them down any. Much like the children in rest of my grandmother's line, the kids were taught a healthy respect for and how to properly use weapons beginning at a young age. Aunt Rhi was in charge of weapons training and Uncle Eregor nurtured their magical gifts.

As a child, I had a love of learning new things. I still have that within me, but it's become far more. It's not quite an obsession, but I do tend to get lost in the reading of dusty old tomes. There is nothing like the smell of old books. However, I digress.

When I grew into a teenager, I had a bit of sit down with Gran. I asked her why she believed in training young children how to defend themselves. That was when she told me about her sister. Gran never talks much about her sister. We know her name, Celia, is on the family tree, but not much else. A kidnap attempt was made when she was ....twelve, maybe younger. Gran said she might have allowed the theft of her grandfather's horse, but never her sister. She vowed that none of her line would ever be defenseless. It might be one of the promises she not only kept, but my mother, her brothers and sisters have as well.

I'm certain, or, as Gran would say, 'Certain sure' that the hard fluctuations that have happened with Nexus shift did not happen during our childhood. Did our arrival cause them' I doubt it was as simple as Velen and I arriving. While both of us have been able to see and speak with the dead since childhood, I cannot recall either of us having caused any to rise from the grave to live again.

Rhiannon Brock

Date: 2014-04-10 07:59 EST
Rhiannon Brock - April 2014

We are expecting our first child! I feel both joy and apprehension. I've never done this before. There are people that will say that it's no different than watching over the youngest of my sisters has been for us. I'm already learning that nothing could be farther from the truth. Eventually, Abby and Madison will be going back to the homestead, but whoever this little person ends up to be, wherever Eregor and I are will be home.

My Mother has finally returned, but from where and when, she's not quite sure. She says she remembers being in front of Darien's old penthouse, but she can't remember what happened before she woke up in Italy. Mama arrived here in quite a state. She was already upset by not having a clue where she'd been and why no one answered at the house, but she ran into Darien on her way through Rhydin. She didn't want to talk about it other than to tell me that she believed he had left her. That certainly would explain why she might have been suppressing the memories. We have determined one thing, neither of them left that night of their own accord. One would have known where the girls were and I know Darien didn't.

Until we know what happened, Abby and Madison Fenner are staying put. When the thread cutter warns you that two children are at risk, you listen, heed that warning, and prepare to stand between them and anything coming down the pike. It won't exactly be me, it'll be her and she won't have time to think or be compassionate.

Winter Pearl

Date: 2014-04-12 19:33 EST
Pearl

I try to put pen to paper every night before I sleep. It's a habit I developed in childhood that was encouraged by my mother and grandmother. They told me that was good for several things. All of which have been true. Among them: improving one's penmanship, committing events of one's daily life to tangible form, and to dream and hope for the future. Like the others in my family that write down these events and thoughts, I write in a code of sorts. Being gifted with polyglotism and a good, but not quite eidetic memory, I've been able to create my own ciphers within the languages I have learned. Presently, my fluency is in at least fifty. One of these days, I will gain a better knowledge of the hieroglyphs that we found in a cave while exploring in Mellor. Based on the condition of the cave, Limelenath and I have surmised that they were used as teaching tools or that we stumbled into some sort of secret meeting room. It might predate the migration of Elves into the area, so, we cannot be certain that they are, in fact, a form of Elvish.

My current challenges are mastering Aramaic and breaking some sort of Elven code. The later was nicknamed Tangleweed for how the lettering and words mingle together. Tangleweed is a kind of seaweed. Considering how this code intermingles and goes backward upon itself, it is much like seaweed impeding movement.

My custom is to write in the evening when it is quiet. The crickets and other creatures join together to serenade us just about twilight. That's a beautiful time of day, much of the world is going to sleep. Velen enjoys play his flute then, too, and those songs intertwine with those of nature. It is a peaceful time for us. We share a place under the gazebo while I write and he makes music. I think this is some form of balance and peace.

Someone asked me once why I'm never afraid of anything. Being afraid and showing that you're afraid are two very different things. My grandmother taught me that you should be careful to whom you reveal your heart and your weaknesses. There are people that would use that against you. There are very few people that I trust that much; Velen being one of them.

There is, I have learned, a difference between not revealing all that you are and lying about it. Much of my life, I watch a prominent woman lie, cheat, and connive her way up the ladder. In the end, it came back to haunt her. I wanted to feel sympathy when the web dissolved and the walls they held up started to crumble, but the offended child in me stomped her foot and said, "No!" I am not, by nature or design, a cruel person. I find it difficult, at best, to be compassionate toward those that have been the victims of their own nefarious dealings.

Dreamdancer

Date: 2014-04-16 22:50 EST
Velen - April 2014

I have always loved the times of transition, day into night and night into day. Twilight and dawn. The former is filled with peaceful moments, with the soft music of life flowing through me as I play my flute. There are no measures and beats to follow, just a wandering stream of consciousness.

Dawn is a different feeling altogether, a bubbling energy that seems to explode as the sun crests the eastern horizon. I've never played to greet the sunrise; nature's own symphony is joyous enough, some days it's all I can do not to laugh aloud, especially now that spring is here. The trilling of birdsong, the rustle of leaves in the wind, and Pearl there to share it with me.

She's my anchor, has been for years.

Her concerns about the shifts in time since we arrived have been troubling me more often of late. I wonder not only why we are still here—not only us, but Melly and Addy as well—and in truth I wonder if it is even possible to return to those we left. That's a sobering thought; here and now, we have family and friends, but in the time we left' Do they think us lost' Or will we someday snap back as if a mere instant had passed?

I suppose there's no way of knowing; even Uncle Eregor doesn't know. Until the answers come, I remain thankful that Pearl is with me. More than anything else, she is home.

Rhiannon D Harker

Date: 2014-05-08 04:33 EST
Rhiannon Harker - May 2014

It has been interesting to me to see what the eldest of our children may become. Pearl has been close to the vest about why she is here. I'm well aware that she did not arrive from what might be on her own. There is comfort in that. Mostly, I find comfort that she has been able to have someone in her life that understands and accepts her as she is. Too many people are cheated of that. In Pearl's mannerism, I see glimpses of our Maggie as she is now. She has not lost her joy for life nor her curiosity. Until I saw her, I didn't understand what is was like for my own mother to see the faces of her children, grown.

Mairead Harker

Date: 2014-05-08 04:45 EST
Maggie - May 2014

People think all this time twist stuff is confusing. It's only confusing if you think too hard about it. I grew up with all that timey wimey woobley weeble stuff, so, it doesn't bother me as much as it does the grown ups. Maybe that's because kids don't think so much about the what might be and what could be stuff and just worry about things like when dinner is coming and if they will have to do homework or chores that day. When people think too much instead of enough to get what they want to do all done, that's when they get into trouble!

I heard the grown ups talking about something called a Nexus flux. I think they shouldn't worry so much about stuff they cannot change. What's the point' All it does is make them sad or angry. Mama says some people are going to fuss and worry anyway, so, there's no point in trying to tell them otherwise. That's just their nature and it's not going to change in five minutes! She said learned that listening to Gran.

Sometimes, my Gran fusses about the what might be stuff because some of what might be is not good at all. I heard her talking to Aunt Rhi about Abby and Madison and why they have got to stay at the tower for now. It's all that twisty time stuff. All I got out of was if Gran never met Darien then there would be no Abby and Madison. But, they are already here, so, how can they just go pfft if someone did something now to make them not be born? And that's thinking way too much about it!

PrlUnicorn

Date: 2014-05-11 02:56 EST
Colleen - May 2014

My life is upside down. I have no idea how to even begin to explain what?s been happening. Mother's Day is upon us soon. While I am wanting to enjoy the company of my family, I keep coming back to those same haunting questions. The more answers that I find, the more questions I must ask.

Next month is Father's Day. I keep hoping that Darien will get in touch about the girls. I never even got the chance to tell him what?s going on with them or why they have been with Rhi and Eregor since just after their last birthday. It was news to me, but Rhi is correct beyond a shadow of a doubt when she says that neither of us making arrangements for the girls while we were away means only one thing; we didn't leave of our own accord.

My nerve has failed me when it comes to Darien. I can't even bring myself to ask if he wants a divorce. It doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Not only that, if I take that step it sends a message that it's what I want and it isn't.

I finally remembered why I was standing in front of his old penthouse when the world went upside down. In one way, I got what I wished for, but in another, I have failed Abby and Madison. The only reason these things have come to light is Rhi and her aunt, Atropos, opening a door. The only way to keep the girls safe is for them to stay where they are for the time being. I was given a glimpse of a future that is bittersweet, but won't ever be. I have not only failed our daughters, but any that would have come after them.

Winter Pearl

Date: 2014-10-26 17:10 EST
Pearl - Oct. 2014

I live in a world filled with ghosts and other creatures from across the veil. I'm never alone. It is wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. Most ghosts have unfinished business and need someone's help to accomplish the task. Some people say that animals have no place in the hereafter. If that's the case then why do spirits of dogs, cats, and other creatures remain behind with things undone" There are others in my family that have this gift ....or would it be better named a curse" My mother has the ability, but it did not manifest in her the way it has in me or her younger counterpart. I suppose there must have been something that was different, a breaking point in the timelines of their lives that caused this.

Neither I nor my younger self could properly be referred to as a necromancer, but at some point I learned how to coax some spirits to speak to me. Maggie's first experience with an unfriendly one was at a Fright Night party. Had Doran not seen the thing as well, I wonder if it might have dragged her into the mirror into some other place. What we see as ghosts or spirits are not always dead beings. Sometimes, they are the living souls from other planes that use mirrors and other things as gateways to travel between worlds. Traveling that way is mentioned in the earliest fairy tales. If one can see others through a mirror, the rest is not a large stretch of the imagination. There are customs which dictate that mirrors should be covered when someone dies. Tradition says that it is to avoid confusing the departed soul into taking the wrong path. Souls can become trapped between worlds. I wonder if that's what happened last time the Nexus had a major shift. Souls from other planes came to finish the business of their counterparts that were dead. They don't know or believe that they aren't where they belong. That prompts the question, just where do we, Velen and I, belong in the grand scheme of things" Even we don't know that answer. Who says it's only one"

Eregor

Date: 2014-11-16 23:51 EST
Eregor - November 2014

I can see the paths of time and fate, if I wish, when I close my eyes; how they twist and branch and cross....and sometimes end. It's not really something I tell people; Rhi knows, of course. I shared my vision with her once, and she told me that now she had an idea of how the Moirai see us all.

She has a unique perspective, and I love her all the more for it.

Few people really understand what it means to look at someone and see their life. More than one life, though. All of them, the could-have-beens and may-bes and never-weres. It hurts, more often than not. Any honest oracle will tell you that prescience is a burden, and a heavy, painful one at that.

It's worst when I look at Collie, though. So many paths behind her, so few ahead. I think she knows that I can see; I think she's seen them herself. It's in her eyes now and then when she comes to visit her daughters. Once she glanced over when I was watching her with them, and she gave a little smile, just for a moment. I wanted so much to tell her that everything would turn out for the best, that she would be all right.

But I couldn't, not with any certainty, and I couldn't lie to her.

So I just nodded, and the moment past, and everything was all smiles again.

Later that night, after her mother had done, Rhi found me in the waterfall room, sitting on a bench by the falls. She wiped a tear from my cheek and, holding me, asked what was wrong, and all I could say was...

"I don't know."

Rhiannon Brock

Date: 2014-12-31 16:36 EST
Another New Year is upon us. I expect it to be filled with a muddle of things, both good and bad. One can only hope that it will be more good than bad.

Mother has decided to take Abby and Madison home in time for their third birthday. She says she has things all figured out, but I'm not so sure. However, she is their mother and it's her choice to make. I had always heard that until you become a parent that you don't actually see the big picture. While I wouldn't say Eregor and I had our hands full with two infants and two toddlers as we are used to having a busy life, they did keep us on our toes. I must admit that it was a wonderful experience taking care of my little sisters and seeing the world through the eyes of a pair of toddlers. We learned as much from them as we taught them.

Then there are our nieces and nephews. Maggie's goal seems to be to read every book in the tower's library. Doran has entered those sometimes awkward teen years. We have had days when the tower was filled with the laughter, singing, and antics of ten young ones. Gory reveled in it as did I. It reminds me of my childhood when the house was filled with brothers, sisters, and extended family all carrying on at once. The happy noises as Mother calls them bring a welcoming and warm feeling into a home.

I don't see as much of Melly as I should like to. I think having been an only child for much of her life has allowed her to find peace and comfort in solitude and her music. The Harker and Ilnaren nieces and nephews are used to having siblings about.

Someone asked me what plans I have for this year. I try not to make plans too far ahead. What I hope for is to continue to have a happy life with my husband and children. This is not to stay I won't be happy with others about, but they are the center of my life now. I have not lost my identity as Rhiannon as some might believe. I have, however, expanded my horizons and my life to allow me to be more than who I once had been.

Too many people make the mistake of looking for a life partner to complete them as a person. One must be a whole person and happy with who they are before they seek to join their life into one with someone else. Eregor does not complete me as a person. He does, however, create balance for me. When I have times of weakness, sadness, or illness it is Gory who helps me through those times. He reminds me that these things do pass and that he is there to be my support and strength when I have the need. I am there to be those things for him.

We will greet this new day and year together. I hope it smiles upon us.

PrlUnicorn

Date: 2015-04-08 10:44 EST
Colleen - April 2015

Where have you been" How are you? How and where is your husband" Questions that I almost dread to hear let alone to answer.

Where have I been" In last year I have done a great deal of soul searching on my own. Abby and Madison had spent their time with Rhiannon and Eregor while I tended to my own needs. With Rachael and Draven grown enough to do for themselves and getting on with the business of being young adults, it left my four youngest in need of care and supervision. Mir is off in Mellor with his grandparents. Dee Dee is off to boarding school. She has always been a handful. While her older sisters and brothers could handle anything she might stir up, they have their own lives and, in the case of some, their own families to raise.

How am I? I am as I always am on the surface in public. Beneath what is sometimes a facade, few dare to tread to learn how deep those waters run.

As for the last ....I just don't know; it's complicated. The events between New Years Eve of 2013 and March of 2014 when I last saw Darien are hazy at best. New Years Eve of 2014, I collected the girls from Rhi and Eregor. I am ever grateful to my daughter and son-in-law for taking on the role of parents to them when I was barely able to look after myself. I am so used to taking on the burdens of others that I have difficulty accepting help when it is needed.

PrlUnicorn

Date: 2018-03-11 23:01 EST
Colleen - March 2018

It's been very busy around here. I took the girls to the ballet. So many questions! I must admit explaining the plot of Swan Lake was a lot easier than things like "Why is the sky blue?" and the ever popular one from Maddie, "When is Daddy coming home?" Abby doesn't ask anymore, but I know she thinks about him. Limelenath has been a godsend in helping Madison cope as her own father disappeared while on a patrol when she was quite small.

I've been blessed with an amazing family. Each child finding their own path has been a wonder to see from the sidelines. I spend a great deal of time with my grandchildren. Maggie has hosted sleepovers for the Littles at the Cardinal Inn. While I am just a room or two away, my young ones have benefited from this little taste of what they think of as grown up freedom.