Topic: A Little Advice

Natasha Romanoff

Date: 2018-05-07 10:27 EST
Whatever it was Hydra had hoped to accomplish by their attack on Liv, it had backfired. The attack on A.E.G.I.S. HQ had been thwarted, and all they'd really accomplished was pissing off the Avengers and anyone associated with them. Though Steve Rogers was a trained soldier, he made it his business to shed as little blood as possible. It was why he carried a shield instead of a gun. The fact that Steve was angry enough to want Hydra blood said it all. In another twenty or so hours, they'd have the location of the U.S. Hydra facility, and then, they were going to hit Hydra so hard, they'd think twice before ever setting foot on American soil again.

While Johnny and Lucy and the kids focused on Liv's recovery, Steve was busy going over plans with Nat on their next move. Steve hardly looked like a man who hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours. It didn't hurt that he was on his third cup of coffee that day. If that didn't keep him going, the super soldier serum that flowed in his veins would.

"How bad was the attack on A.E.G.I.S.?" he asked, once he and Nat were alone. Tony was around somewhere, and JARVIS was always listening, but there were few he trusted more than Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow had become one of his closest friends these last years - so close he and Lucy had even named one of their twins after her.

"Fourteen wounded, nothing serious," Natasha told him easily. She'd been up for as long as he had, but unlike Steve, she didn't have a super serum in her veins keeping her going. Sheer bloody-minded fury was what was keeping Romanoff awake right now. "All attackers killed or detained for questioning, jets scrambled to harass known Hydra bases worldwide and keep them busy." She leaned back against the wall, stifling a yawn. "Techs are narrowing down the data - they reckon they should have it in twenty hours or so."

"The big question is whether the base is in a densely or sparsely populated area," Steve reasoned. There were certainly arguments that could be made both ways. Generally, they'd found most Hydra bases were remote, hidden away where they couldn't easily be found, but here in the U.S., it might be hidden in plain sight.

"Hate to say it, but that's a small question, Cap," Nat pointed out wearily. "The big question is how did Hydra set up a base without the U.S. government knowing" Opens up a whole new can of worms if someone in Defense knows and isn't saying."

"I'm not sure I like where you're going with that, Nat," Steve said, eyes narrowing at the possibility that their own government might be involved with Hydra. He wasn't dismissing the possibility; he just didn't like it.

"Expect the worst," she countered. "How else do you think I'm still alive here?" She shrugged, glancing down at the maps covering the table. "What we've got here is guess work. Worst case scenario is that the U.S. government is intimately involved, and we're going to become international outlaws taking this place down. If we go into this with contingency plans for every scenario, we'll come out of it better than they will."

"Worst case scenario means Hydra has infiltrated our government at the highest levels. In that case, they might be hiding in plain sight," Steve said. "We wouldn't just need a location. We'd need names," he pointed out.

"The names would be at that location," she pointed out. "They can't upload them from there, not with Stark spamming the information highways with A.I.s designed to hunt down Hydra codes. If they want the information gone from that base, they need to download it to hard copy and get it out the hard way. Gives us a fighting chance."

"How hard can it be to print a list of names and shred it?" Steve asked, still not as comfortable with modern technology as it might seem. He hoped it would be harder than that, allowing them time to get in there and download a copy for themselves. "What we need is someone on the inside," he said, but that would require knowing where the base was.

"What we need is the location," Nat said, shaking her head. "We can't speed that up, we have no idea what we're actually looking for."

"Until we have the location, we can only postulate," Steve said, frowning thoughtfully. "I heard back from Banner," he said, lowering his voice. "He's in. So is Thor. It's gonna be like a family reunion around here. Think we can get through this without killing each other?" he asked changing the subject.

"Richards wants in as well," Nat told him, pushing off the wall to rub at her neck with a low sigh. "Honestly' I think Hydra pushed us way too far to care about in-fighting this time around. So long as Stark keeps his mouth shut, we should be good."

"He's been surprisingly polite," Steve pointed out, noting the signs of Nat's growing weariness. "You should get some rest. Nothing's going to happen here until everyone arrives and we hear back from A.E.G.I.S. about the intel."

"I guess." It took a fair amount for Nat to admit to being tired enough to sleep. "I want to check in with the tech guys before I get some shut-eye. You should rest, too. How's Liv doing?"

"They're telling me it's a miraculous recovery," Steve said, pulling out a chair so Nat could at least sit down. "It was supposed to be Lucy," he said, a muscle in his jaw tensing at that. While it was bad enough that Liv had almost been killed, the knowledge that Lucy had actually been the intended target made it even worse.

"Last time they went after your family, you left Earth," Nat pointed out. "Vanished from under their noses. Figures they'd try and hit a sore spot." She sighed, rubbing her forehead as she sat down. "I should have seen it coming. I know these tactics."

"Don't blame yourself, Nat. You couldn't have known. None of us could have known. If I'd known this would happen, I would have stopped Liv from coming, but you know what pisses me off most?" he said, not waiting for her to answer that before continuing. As if it wasn't enough that Hydra had twice now tried to hurt his family. "What pisses me off most is that my family can't live anywhere without worrying about Hydra trying to hurt them."

He wasn't feeling guilty about it exactly, though there were times when he felt he put his family in danger, just by loving them. But the same could be said for all the Avengers and even members of A.E.G.I.S.

Natasha Romanoff

Date: 2018-05-07 10:27 EST
"No one goes into a relationship with anyone here blind, Steve," Nat reminded him gently. "And no one in a relationship with one of you guys goes undefended. Some things slip through the cracks, and it sucks, but you have a good life, and you are safer on Rhy'Din, all of you, than you would be here."

"My kids will never have a normal childhood, Nat," Steve pointed out, but then they weren't normal children. His kids had never complained nor had his wife, but sometimes he wished they could be like everyone else. Then again, he'd made a choice to make a difference in the world a long time ago, and it was a choice he didn't regret. "If they thought they were going to break me by trying to hurt my family, they're wrong. All they've done is piss me off."

"Language." Probably not the best time to make that joke, but Nat was tired. She managed to summon a smile for Steve, though. "They made a huge mistake. And we're going to make sure they know it, Steve."

"And if Hydra has already infiltrated our government' What then?" he asked, too upset or too tired to acknowledge the joke. There were times when he missed having Fury around. As infuriating as the man could be, he would have stopped at nothing to eliminate Hydra from the face of the Earth.

"We take the information to the U.N., to the council that oversees A.E.G.I.S., and we make it our last stand," Nat said firmly. "Either they deal with Hydra at the highest levels, or we walk. Can't help a world that doesn't want helping, Steve."

"Walk where" You all going to join me on Rhy'Din, or join Thor on Asgard?" he asked, rubbing a hand against his face, not because he was weary so much as worried. He wasn't trying to make a joke. If Hydra really had gotten their claws into high-ranking government officials, then he'd failed.

"Steve. Stop it." Nat laid her hands on the table, rising to look him in the eye. "Worst case scenario isn't reality, not yet. Maybe not ever. Get some sleep. It'll look better when you've rested, and you'll be ready for the mission coming."

"I want to wipe them off the face of the Earth, Nat, once and for all," Steve told her. These were words she'd heard before, and something he'd spent a good part of his life trying to make happen.

"You are never going to do that, Steve," she told him sternly. "Hydra is an idea, and ideas don't die. All we can do is reduce their numbers and resources."

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to stop trying," Steve said, though these last months in Rhy'Din, he'd turned his energy and efforts toward being a good father and husband. He was obviously torn between the desire to make Earth a better, safer place and the desire to raise a family in peace.

"Really?" Nat frowned at him. "So what happens to your family while you're trying to destroy an idea, Steve?" she asked, her voice harsh. "Do they get one week in every four, or what? You gave up one lifetime for Hydra. I'm not telling you not to fight. But if you give up the only thing that is yours, you might as well have already lost."

"What am I supposed to do, Nat' Spend the rest of my life drawing pictures to earn a living when I could be ....should be ....part of the fight?" he countered. He'd been struggling with this for some time now, as Nat well knew. It was all about finding balance, but balance wasn't such an easy thing to find when Hydra kept tipping the scales.

"Dammit, Steve!"

For possibly the first time since he had known her, Natasha was too tired to put up with this. She knew he was struggling, she knew he was still searching, but it infuriated her that he couldn't see the warning standing right in front of him.

"Look at me. Really take a damned good look. Because if you keep on with this, if you insist that you're the only one who can keep in this fight, the only one who can bring Hydra down, then you're going to be looking in the mirror someday and you will see me looking back at you. What have I got, outside the next mission' No home, no family, no friends I didn't meet right here. No purpose outside killing, because that's what I was made to do. You are more than they made you, and what you have is worth more than any victory in any war. Turning your back on your family, making the people who love you spend their lives waiting for the day you don't come home? That is how you become me. And it is the crappiest, loneliest way to exist. I'm not a person, Steve, I'm a weapon, because that's all I know how to be. You're a husband, a father, a brother, and all of that is worth more than being a soldier ever could be."

Natasha Romanoff

Date: 2018-05-07 10:27 EST
She snapped her mouth shut against the harsher words that wanted to come out, glaring at him. Why couldn't he see that this never-ending fight was going to cost him so much more in the end than his life, if he didn't step back after this mission"

Steve opened his mouth to protest, his face flushing, not with anger but with embarrassment, maybe even shame. He'd dedicated most of his adult life to defeating evil - not just Hydra - but evil of every shape and form. But that was all before he'd met Lucy, and all before they'd started a family.

"You're right," he said, quickly adding, "Except for one thing. You are not just a weapon, Nat. And yes, we might never have become friends if it wasn't for S.H.I.E.L.D., but that doesn't make our friendship any less genuine. But mostly, you're right. So, what do you suggest?"

She stared at him for a long moment, apparently stumped for a response. "You're not supposed to agree with me, you're supposed to argue and be worn down by my eloquent reasoning," she complained, but there was a weary smile flickering on her face. "Go home, be with your family, get some rest. There's nothing any of us can do until the intel comes through, and you can be here in minutes when the call comes."

He nodded his head, though she had only answered his question about the short term, not the long term. That was probably something he needed to discuss with Lucy, not Nat. "Promise you'll call me" I can't wait to tell Thor we named the dog after him," he said with a smirk.

Nat snorted with laughter, nodding to him. "You know I'll call," she assured him. "And Steve ....I know I don't say it, but you are my friend. My best friend."

"You don't have to say it, Nat. I already know," Steve said, reaching over to give her hand a gentle squeeze. It was a little uncharacteristic of the man to show physical affection for someone who wasn't his wife or kids, but Nat was more like a sister than a friend or ally. "Get some rest, okay' You look like you need it."

"I will," she promised. "I just ....I need to head back to H.Q. and check in at the lab before I do. Besides, my bed is there, just the way I like it."

"You're not gonna be any good to anyone if you don't get some sleep," he lectured her, though as a full grown adult, she already knew that. He was probably the only one among them, with the possible exception of Thor, who could go more than a few days without any sleep.

"I can go another hour," she pointed out stubbornly. And yes, there were plenty of beds and bedrooms in the mansion. But Nat had her own reasons for wanting to be back at A.E.G.I.S. H.Q. "I'll let Jarvis handle the flying, is that better for you, Mom?"

"Better than falling asleep while flying," Steve said, though he actually doubted that would happen. Nat was far too good at what she did to let that happen. "There's not much we can do until we hear back from A.E.G.I.S. I'm gonna go check in with Lucy and take a peek at Liv," he told her, moving to his feet.

Natasha nodded approvingly. "Good. I'll catch you later, old man - no telling Thor about your dog until I get there. Or about your other dog, Loki's baby." She flashed him a grin.

Steve chuckled, feeling a little better than he had an hour or so ago. Though they were dealing with a serious matter, it helped to be able to laugh a little. It helped him to remember his humanity. "See you later, kid," he told her, though she didn't look any younger than he did.

With a salute and a weary nod, Nat headed out of the room, not even bothering to stifle her yawn as she asked JARVIS to prep the jet for the journey back upstate.

Steve sighed as he watched her go, wishing she'd find someone who'd help her feel less lonely. As close as they were, there had never been anything romantic between them. He'd found out long ago that kissing Natasha was like kissing his sister. He only wished she could find the same happiness he had with Lucy.

But right now, there were other things to occupy his mind. Like his wife, and their children, and finally getting some sleep after far too long awake and active. He might have been made the perfect soldier, but for six people, he was the whole world. Hydra couldn't make him forget that.