Some days were good. Some days were over-the-top, but in a good way. Some days were just average. Some days were bad. But some days ....some days were soul-destroying, sucking the joy out of almost everything. And it was days like that when Liv made an extra effort to at least seem her usual self, and usually failed miserably. Today's plan was already doomed to failure - Johnny had learned over the last months to be at least slightly suspicious when Liv made lasagne as a surprise "just because".
Whether Johnny noticed or not, the newest member of their little family sensed something was wrong with her mistress and had been following her around all day in hopes of providing what comfort she could. They say dogs can sense the mood of their owners, and if Bella was any example to go by, it seemed that was very much true. Like Liv, Johnny had his good days and bad days and for the very same reasons. Though for the most part he was happy, it was difficult watching everyone around them starting a family and having children when they still had none, despite their best efforts. None of this affected how he felt about Liv, but each month that passed and still found her without a child growing inside her made him worry more and more that it might never happen at all.
It was just as well Liv did have Bella to keep her company, really. If she had been alone in the apartment today, she probably would have been a wreck. The test packet stood unopened on the kitchen counter - there had been no need to use it. And that, of course, was the source of her determination to be happy and cheerful for Johnny when he got home. This determination was not helped by the fact that every time she sat down, Bella climbed up to cuddle in under her arm, and just that little bit of affection from their dog was enough to set Liv sniffling. "Oh, this is ridiculous, Bells," she said, blowing her nose for the umpteenth time. She crouched down to ruffle the beautiful dog's fur fondly. "He's going to be so disappointed. I hate letting him down."
Sue and Reed had a baby. Steve and Lucy had a baby. Jon and Vicki had two babies. And the list went on. It seemed nearly everyone they knew and were close to was having a family, but them, but despite Johnny's worries, he was determined to keep his hopes up and spirits up, if only for Liv's sake. Or at least, that's what he'd been telling himself as month after month passed them by. They had been talking about making some changes in their lives, about moving to a house that would be more homey and more suited to a family, but as yet, they were still living in the condo that had once been occupied by Jon and Vicki before they'd moved to Maple Grove. There was no thump on the roof to signal Johnny's arrival home from the fire brigade where he'd been working for the last year or so. No whoosh through a window. Instead, the door to their apartment was heard opening with a small creak as he returned home the conventional way.
Bella was up and out of the kitchen before the door opened, eager to welcome Johnny home with all the affection she'd been denied when she was a puppy. Pre-warned, Liv pushed herself onto her feet and wiped her face once again, dropping the tissue into the trashcan and inserting the lasagne into the oven. "Easy, Bella, don't flatten the man," she called with forced joviality, hoping her husband wouldn't notice anything false in her tone.
Fortunately, there had been no huge emergencies today to further dampen his mood. No one had blown up the Marketplace or otherwise tried to cause chaos. It had, in fact, been a fairly quiet day - one of those days when he'd felt a little bit useless, but it was better to be there and not be needed than the opposite. "Hey, girl!" Johnny greeted the dog with his usual rub of her ears and hug to her neck. "Where's Mama?" he asked, as he got his face licked for his trouble. If all they ever had was fur babies, at least it was something.
That one word, overheard from the kitchen, undid all Liv's work at wanting to show him a dry face when he got home. Her throat tightened, her lip trembled, and she felt the first tear slide free, abruptly turning her back to the kitchen door to lean against the edge of the sink and try to calm herself down. By the front door, Bella bounced on her forepaws, eager to have Johnny make everything all right again. She took hold of his sleeve gently between her teeth and tugged, suggesting not so subtly that he go to the kitchen.
Johnny arched a brow, smart enough to understand that Bella was trying to tug him further inside, but not really sure why. He didn't really smell the lasagne cooking yet, or that might have given him a hint at Liv's mood. She never cooked lasagne unless she was trying to please him for some reason. But then, he had asked the dog where her mistress was at, and Bella was an unusually intelligent canine. "Liv?" Johnny asked as he was tugged toward the kitchen. He was wearing a shirt with a Captain America shield emblazoned on the front - not only his hero, but also his brother-in-law and one of his closest friends - along with a pair of jeans and sneakers, his ever-present fire-proof uniform underneath it all.
"I'm in here!" Three words that got out without being overtly trembly or upset, and bought her just a little bit longer to wipe her face dry for the hundredth time that day, though there was nothing she could do about the slightly red-rimmed eyes he was going to see. She turned away from the sink and started to work on the bread, having already decided on home-made garlic bread tonight. She managed a warm smile as Johnny came into view. "How was work?"
"Work was fine. Uneventful," he replied as he stepped into the kitchen, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her while leaning in to touch a kiss to her cheek with unnaturally warm lips. "How was your day?" He hadn't yet noticed the red-rimmed eyes or the unopened test kit, but it was only a matter of time.
She leaned back into him, the tension she'd been carrying easing away now Johnny was there and present, his warmth wrapping her up and reminding her that she would always have something to be joyful about. Turning her head to kiss his cheek in return, she rested her forehead against his jaw, sighing softly. "About the same," she said, lying by omission rather than just leaping straight into a conversation that would hurt both of them. "Quiet, just me and Bella."
That brought a small frown to Johnny's face, and he wondered if she'd been thinking the same thing he'd been thinking. While they had both appreciated her boss' generosity in letting them use his condo, it no longer felt like home. It felt too secluded, too lonely, too far away from everyone they cared about, and he'd thought Bella might be happier someplace where she could have a little more freedom, rather than being cooped up in an apartment building all day. "I've been thinking, Livvie..." Johnny started. "Maybe it's time we move."
"Did you have somewhere in mind?" she asked softly. She knew her Johnny well enough to know that he wasn't going to bring this up unless he had a definite idea of where he wanted the conversation to go. They'd talked about it before, of course, hence the number of real estate catalogs around the place, but had never really come to a conclusion on the subject.
Whether Johnny noticed or not, the newest member of their little family sensed something was wrong with her mistress and had been following her around all day in hopes of providing what comfort she could. They say dogs can sense the mood of their owners, and if Bella was any example to go by, it seemed that was very much true. Like Liv, Johnny had his good days and bad days and for the very same reasons. Though for the most part he was happy, it was difficult watching everyone around them starting a family and having children when they still had none, despite their best efforts. None of this affected how he felt about Liv, but each month that passed and still found her without a child growing inside her made him worry more and more that it might never happen at all.
It was just as well Liv did have Bella to keep her company, really. If she had been alone in the apartment today, she probably would have been a wreck. The test packet stood unopened on the kitchen counter - there had been no need to use it. And that, of course, was the source of her determination to be happy and cheerful for Johnny when he got home. This determination was not helped by the fact that every time she sat down, Bella climbed up to cuddle in under her arm, and just that little bit of affection from their dog was enough to set Liv sniffling. "Oh, this is ridiculous, Bells," she said, blowing her nose for the umpteenth time. She crouched down to ruffle the beautiful dog's fur fondly. "He's going to be so disappointed. I hate letting him down."
Sue and Reed had a baby. Steve and Lucy had a baby. Jon and Vicki had two babies. And the list went on. It seemed nearly everyone they knew and were close to was having a family, but them, but despite Johnny's worries, he was determined to keep his hopes up and spirits up, if only for Liv's sake. Or at least, that's what he'd been telling himself as month after month passed them by. They had been talking about making some changes in their lives, about moving to a house that would be more homey and more suited to a family, but as yet, they were still living in the condo that had once been occupied by Jon and Vicki before they'd moved to Maple Grove. There was no thump on the roof to signal Johnny's arrival home from the fire brigade where he'd been working for the last year or so. No whoosh through a window. Instead, the door to their apartment was heard opening with a small creak as he returned home the conventional way.
Bella was up and out of the kitchen before the door opened, eager to welcome Johnny home with all the affection she'd been denied when she was a puppy. Pre-warned, Liv pushed herself onto her feet and wiped her face once again, dropping the tissue into the trashcan and inserting the lasagne into the oven. "Easy, Bella, don't flatten the man," she called with forced joviality, hoping her husband wouldn't notice anything false in her tone.
Fortunately, there had been no huge emergencies today to further dampen his mood. No one had blown up the Marketplace or otherwise tried to cause chaos. It had, in fact, been a fairly quiet day - one of those days when he'd felt a little bit useless, but it was better to be there and not be needed than the opposite. "Hey, girl!" Johnny greeted the dog with his usual rub of her ears and hug to her neck. "Where's Mama?" he asked, as he got his face licked for his trouble. If all they ever had was fur babies, at least it was something.
That one word, overheard from the kitchen, undid all Liv's work at wanting to show him a dry face when he got home. Her throat tightened, her lip trembled, and she felt the first tear slide free, abruptly turning her back to the kitchen door to lean against the edge of the sink and try to calm herself down. By the front door, Bella bounced on her forepaws, eager to have Johnny make everything all right again. She took hold of his sleeve gently between her teeth and tugged, suggesting not so subtly that he go to the kitchen.
Johnny arched a brow, smart enough to understand that Bella was trying to tug him further inside, but not really sure why. He didn't really smell the lasagne cooking yet, or that might have given him a hint at Liv's mood. She never cooked lasagne unless she was trying to please him for some reason. But then, he had asked the dog where her mistress was at, and Bella was an unusually intelligent canine. "Liv?" Johnny asked as he was tugged toward the kitchen. He was wearing a shirt with a Captain America shield emblazoned on the front - not only his hero, but also his brother-in-law and one of his closest friends - along with a pair of jeans and sneakers, his ever-present fire-proof uniform underneath it all.
"I'm in here!" Three words that got out without being overtly trembly or upset, and bought her just a little bit longer to wipe her face dry for the hundredth time that day, though there was nothing she could do about the slightly red-rimmed eyes he was going to see. She turned away from the sink and started to work on the bread, having already decided on home-made garlic bread tonight. She managed a warm smile as Johnny came into view. "How was work?"
"Work was fine. Uneventful," he replied as he stepped into the kitchen, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her while leaning in to touch a kiss to her cheek with unnaturally warm lips. "How was your day?" He hadn't yet noticed the red-rimmed eyes or the unopened test kit, but it was only a matter of time.
She leaned back into him, the tension she'd been carrying easing away now Johnny was there and present, his warmth wrapping her up and reminding her that she would always have something to be joyful about. Turning her head to kiss his cheek in return, she rested her forehead against his jaw, sighing softly. "About the same," she said, lying by omission rather than just leaping straight into a conversation that would hurt both of them. "Quiet, just me and Bella."
That brought a small frown to Johnny's face, and he wondered if she'd been thinking the same thing he'd been thinking. While they had both appreciated her boss' generosity in letting them use his condo, it no longer felt like home. It felt too secluded, too lonely, too far away from everyone they cared about, and he'd thought Bella might be happier someplace where she could have a little more freedom, rather than being cooped up in an apartment building all day. "I've been thinking, Livvie..." Johnny started. "Maybe it's time we move."
"Did you have somewhere in mind?" she asked softly. She knew her Johnny well enough to know that he wasn't going to bring this up unless he had a definite idea of where he wanted the conversation to go. They'd talked about it before, of course, hence the number of real estate catalogs around the place, but had never really come to a conclusion on the subject.