Topic: Sunshine Through Rainclouds

Olivia Storm

Date: 2014-05-26 13:56 EST
The remainder of the day went without further incident or mention of attempted pregnancies and babies. Johnny and Liv seemed to have relaxed a little, as they always did when they were with Steve and Lucy. By the time dinner rolled around, they were cracking jokes and laughing with each other, enjoying the companionship they'd built together over the last two years. Even Peggy had joined in, and Johnny and Liv seemed more relaxed with little Jamie, as well. But as evening turned to night, and Johnny and Liv retired to the guest room that was theirs whenever they were in New York, the uncomfortable silence returned, and Johnny knew it was time for a heart-to-heart chat with his wife.

For her part, Liv was trying to ignore the uncomfortable silence as she changed for bed, spending a ridiculous amount of time on brushing her teeth in the hope that the silence would resolve itself. Bella, for once, was behaving herself, lying down at the foot of the bed on the blanket they'd brought with them for that express purpose, while her owners danced around the main issue. "Lucy's getting better at cooking, isn't she?" Liv commented when she finally came out of the bathroom. "I think Peggy might be giving her lessons."

"Yeah, I remember when Lucy could burn water," Johnny remarked, with a weak smile, knowing they'd been dancing around the issue of children all evening, and now that they were alone again, a conversation about it seemed imminent. Johnny changed into a t-shirt and shorts for bed, like he did every night, no longer wearing his fire-resistant suit to bed. He had worked hard to learn control of his abilities, and it had been years since he'd woken up flaming in the middle of the night.

Pulling her brush brutally through her hair, Liv moved to sit on the edge of the bed, the elephant in the room threatening to suffocate her. But one thing she had learned since she'd met Johnny was to confront some things head on, and she knew pretending this issue didn't exist would only make it worse. Lowering the brush to her lap, she sighed softly. "Did ....did Lucy say anything about it?"

It was his turn to use the bathroom, the sound of the water turning on as he squeezed a ribbon of toothpaste out onto his toothbrush, hesitating a moment as Liv came almost to the point. "Yeah, she-she showed me what she thinks the problem is," he replied before sticking the brush in his mouth and scrubbing away at his teeth.

"And ....is it ....is it bad?" Perhaps talking about this while he was brushing his teeth was a bad idea, but she'd started now. Dragging the brush through her hair once more, she set it down and slid under the covers, curling up with her head on the pillow, her eyes on the shadow he cast through the bathroom door.

Even the Human Torch had to keep his teeth clean, and brushing gave him an extra minute or two to consider his words before he gave her a reply. He didn't even bother to try replying with the brush in his mouth, as the question was a serious one. Instead, he rinsed out his mouth before attempting a reply, only speaking once he was finished with the brushing. Was it bad" Good question. Yes, it was bad, but was it hopeless" That was the real issue, and in his opinion, no, it wasn't hopeless. "It's....complicated," he said as he wiped his face dry and returned the toothbrush to the holder.

Tucking one arm under the pillow, and the other about her own waist, Liv waited patiently for his reply, unaware of how young and vulnerable she looked, curled tightly in on herself beneath the sheets. She bit her lip, worrying at the little pillow of flesh before braving the only option left to her. "Complicated?" she repeated softly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's no easy or simple answer to that question," he replied, as he turned out the lights in the bathroom and made his way toward the bed, careful not to step on or trip over Bella on his way.

"Oh." It was just one syllable, but over time, Johnny had come to recognize several of Liv's "oh" sounds. This one was definitely in the dear god, it's all my fault category, expressing guilt and apology in one small utterance.

Johnny knew he had to be careful how he broached this subject and how he answered this question, but the sting of what Lucy had told him was still a little too fresh, though he was trying hard to be hopeful. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Olivia in any way, but he needed to be honest with her, too. He winced a little at the sound of her voice as she uttered that one small word, knowing her well enough to know she was on the verge of taking all the blame on herself when nothing was further from the truth. "It's not your fault, Livvie," he said, as he sat down on the bed beside her and reached over to brush her hair away from her face. "Lucy said it's no one's fault."

"Do you believe her?" It might have seemed an odd question to ask, given how close the twins were, but this was something Lucy hadn't spoken to Liv about. It had been left to Johnny to share this information, and to talk to his wife candidly about what it meant for them, even if it hurt to begin.

He had to consider that question a moment, as there were several ways he could answer it. He'd been over it in his own head, and while he knew it was because of him that she was having trouble becoming pregnant, he couldn't have predicted it when he'd stepped onto Reed's spaceship all those years ago. At the time, he'd only been looking for a thrill, an adventure. He'd longed to be part of something that was bigger than himself, and when Sue had asked if he wanted to go along, he'd jumped at the chance, never knowing it would change his life forever in ways he could never imagine. "It depends on how you look at it, but yes. It's no one's fault." He reached over to flick the lamp off and climb under the covers beside her, wrapping his arms around her the way he always did when they turned in for the night.

As soon as he lay down beside her, Liv rolled over, uncurling as she wrapped her own arms around him, tucked close in the low light of the deepening night. "So it's not something we can change, either of us," she said softly, feeling the bite of that revelation deep in her heart. She wouldn't be able to give him the baby he wanted. "I'm so sorry, Johnny."

Olivia Storm

Date: 2014-05-26 13:56 EST
He glanced at her in the dim light, wondering why in the world she was apologizing when it was perfectly obvious to him that it was him who was the problem. "You have nothing to apologize for, Liv. Lucy said she's going to try and figure out if there's a way to-to fix it, but that we shouldn't pin all our hopes on it." He sighed, tucking her close against him and brushing a kiss against her brow. "Lucy said it's not my fault, but....it's the radiation. It's changed me, and I guess our cells aren't compatible or something. I don't know. It's complicated. I don't understand it, but when my blood touched your blood, it was like....like Pacman gobbling up ghosts." Okay, so that wasn't the best analogy, but Johnny wasn't a scientist, like Lucy or Sue or Reed. He was just a regular guy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was an analogy that worked for his wife, however. She understood what he meant in a way she wouldn't have done if Lucy had explained with lots of long words and diagrams. "It isn't your fault," she told him softly. "You can't think like that. No one could have predicted any of this, least of all us." She tipped her head back to look up at him, forcing the upset away. She'd promised him she wouldn't cry again, and she was going to keep that promise, no matter how bad it got. "So it isn't possible for us to make a baby together, at least not right now. Where do we go from here?"

"Not right now," he echoed, feeling that ache in the middle of his chest again, not wanting to cry in front of her anymore than she did. "But Lucy said she was going to do some more research, and if anyone can figure this out, it's her." But that didn't solve their immediate problem. They had several choices open to them, but it seemed it was up to Johnny to lay them out. "I guess it's up to you, Liv." Though really it was up to both of them.

She shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes despite her refusal to let them fall. "It isn't just my decision, Johnny," she told him. "This is our life, our future. Please don't make me make this decision on my own. I'll get it wrong, I know I will, and I'll hurt you even more than I have already. I couldn't bear that."

"You haven't hurt me, Liv," Johnny said, touching her cheek as he turned onto his side to face her. "I love you so much, Livvie. You're the only thing that matters to me. If we never have children, I'd still be happy just to be with you, but I know how much this means to you. I know how much you want a family of your own."

"I know how much it means to you, too," she countered softly. "That's why I've been so upset about it; every time I come on, I feel as though I've let you down. I want so much to give you the home and family that you didn't have when you were little, and I'm failing miserably at it." She caught his hand, pressing her lips to his palm. "I don't want to disappoint you, Johnny."

He was touched by her words, his brows furrowing in the darkness, a frown touching his face, realizing she was just as worried about hurting and disappointing him as he was about doing the same to her. "Sweetheart, you could never disappoint me. This isn't just about me, Liv, or what I want or what I didn't have growing up. This is about us. It's about our future, and if we really truly want to have a family, there are other options."

It had been a very long time since Liv had done anything purely for herself - indeed, the last time she had even brushed being selfish, it had been when she had told Johnny that Lucy had had her chance with him, and it was now her turn. That had been two years ago, and she couldn't say she had regretted it. So why did she feel as though she was being irretrievably selfish in wanting to start a family with him' "I-I do want a family with you, Johnny," she admitted nervously. "And I don't want to wait until Lucy says she definitely can or definitely can't help us. Is that awful of me?"

"No, it's not awful, Liv. I want a family, too." Johnny grasped hold of both her hands, searching her eyes in the darkness, seeing the glint of tears in her eyes, needing her to understand that didn't mean they'd never be able to have a family. He licked his lips a little nervously before he spoke again. "Livvie, I've been thinking..."

Her fingers gripped his tightly as they clung to one another in the warm dark. always her anchor, even in such a storm as this one. "Thinking about what?" she asked him in a quiet voice, uncertain if they were thinking along the same lines or not.

"You know how we rescued Bella?" he started. It seemed like a strange way to start an explanation, but he had a point to it.

"Um ..." He'd lost her, but she was going to brave it out anyway. "We went to the shelter, and she chose us, that's how we rescued Bella." From the foot of the bed came a small grumble of sound, their beautiful dog responding to her name but too sleepy to be bothered actually moving in response.

"Right, well....I was thinking about all the orphans in Rhy'Din. All the kids who have no homes and no families, just like we didn't, just like Bella didn't." He wasn't sure if he was explaining it right, and he didn't want to compare adopting a child to rescuing a dog, but in a way, it was sort of the same thing. "If it wasn't for us, who knows what would have happened to Bella" I see kids living on the street every day, Liv. Sometimes they follow me, like Buster did. I try to do what I can to help, but I can't help them all."

"All right." It didn't take much to bring her around to his thinking once he had explained, a small smile playing at her lips as she looked at him in the darkness. "But we do it properly, through one of the orphanages. No bringing home a stray. As much as I want to believe that every child on the streets wants a home and a family, I'm not that naive. And I don't want us to get stung and defensive because we've been used. Is that okay?"

"How do we know a kid in an orphanage wants a home and a family either?" he asked, before it struck him that he was probably asking that question of the wrong person. They had both grown up orphans, though Johnny's sister Sue had tried to provide as much stability for her younger brother as she could. Both of them knew what it was like to want a home and a family. Maybe that was why they wanted a home and family of their own so badly.

Olivia Storm

Date: 2014-05-26 13:57 EST
She bit her lip, not wanting to pressure him in any way, but really unprepared to accept a child who had just followed him into their home. Rhy'Din was a rough place at times, and the children who survived on the streets often did so only because they were a part of something big and usually criminal. "We don't know, for certain," she admitted, though. "But that's why the process is so long. You don't just go in and pick a child; you're vetted by the orphanage workers first. They talk to you about what you're hoping for, why you want to adopt, whether you're ready to adopt. They make recommendations to you, they give you as much information as they can. You only meet the child after that process is over, and even then, it's up to everyone involved whether it goes through or not."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting it to be like picking out a dog," he admitted a bit sourly, not because she was correcting him, but because he had expected it to be easy and was a little disappointed that it wasn't, though he understood why. It wouldn't be right if just anyone could walk into an orphanage and adopt a kid like that without knowing if they were doing it for the right reasons. He remembered what it had felt like when they had returned "Buster" to his proper owners. It had felt both devastating to lose him and exhilarating to make the little boy who'd lost him happy to get him back. Johnny wondered if adopting a child would be something like that. "I was just thinking that if we can't have a child of our own right now, maybe we should think about giving an orphan a good home instead."

Liv's face lit up as he offered this alternative. She had been thinking about it herself, but she'd had no idea how to broach the subject to him directly. "Really?" she asked, needing him to confirm this to her. "You really would like to go about it that way?"

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, who better to give a kid a home than two former orphans?" he asked, mirroring her smile, as he tried to make his point. "I'm not saying it's gonna happen overnight, and I know it's not gonna be easy, but we can do this, Liv. I know we can."

"Of course we can," she nodded, her mood infinitely brightened by this positive turn their decision had taken. She leaned close and kissed him gently. "We just have to decide which orphanage we're going to work with, and we can make a start as soon as we like."

"Yeah, but we need a proper house. We can't raise a family in a condo. And Bella needs more space. Did you see how much she loved being outside earlier" She was like a puppy again!" He felt excitement growing inside him as they discussed their future plans, replacing the hopelessness he'd felt earlier.

"Should we draw up a to-do list?" Liv asked, her smile audible in the gloom. She could feel him growing excited about the possibility of their adopting a child, and it sparked off her own excitement, sweeping away the distress of the past months in the wake of the hope that they'd found a better path to walk together for the time being. "House first, then we get started?"

"Yeah, I think so. Both will take time. Lucy suggested we rent a house at Maple Grove while one is being built." And with that small statement, it became obvious that Lucy had done more than just take a blood sample. She had obviously discussed the situation with Johnny and offered up some solutions, like the big sister she was.

The fact of Lucy's involvement in Johnny's decision making process didn't upset Liv, though it could have if she had let it. But the truth was that she trusted Johnny, and she trusted her sister, and if they could talk these things out and bring a situation to this kind of satisfactory conclusion without her, then so be it. "She's right," Liv mused thoughtfully. "If we rented, we could move in virtually straight away. We could be in a new house by the end of the week."

"Did you hear that, Bella?" Johnny called over to the dog, making the fatal mistake of waking her when she was already settled down on the rug at their feet. "We're going to move to a new house where you'll have lots of room to run and play. And a few doggie friends, too!" Johnny added with a chuckle. The truth was, all Lucy had really done was encourage what Johnny had already been considering. She hadn't decided for him or even suggested a solution really, but just lent her encouragement and support when he had needed it.

Startled awake by the sound of her name, Bella barked just once, lurching up from where she was to scramble onto the bed with them, checking on her humans to make sure they were both all right. Liv burst out laughing, not even wincing as the dog inadvertently trod on a certain part of her that was a little tender at this time of the month, too charmed by how easy it was to end up with three in the bed at all.

Johnny laughed as they were joined by the dog, who hadn't yet seemed to understand that beds were strictly for people. "I swear she still thinks she's a puppy!" he exclaimed with a chuckle, slapping a hand across his own mouth when he remembered they weren't home alone in their condo anymore and they didn't want to wake little Jamie.

Unfortunately, the sight of Johnny slapping a hand over his mouth only made Liv laugh harder, rolling onto her back as she covered her own mouth to muffle her giggles. Bella, naturally, took full advantage of the sudden space between them and thumped down into the warm pocket left behind when Liv rolled, trapping Liv's arm underneath her body. And that wagging tail, while a beautiful sign of their dog's joy at being with them, was sadly at exactly the right level to repeatedly be hitting Johnny in his ....well ....John Thomas.

Johnny tried to muffle his own laughter behind his hand, sputtering when he felt Bella's tail thumping him repeatedly between the legs. "Ooof," he muttered, shoving Bella aside, only to further crowd Liv. "Bella, you're too big to be a lap dog!"

In response, he got a big wet lick. Bella was too happy to have wedged herself in between them to pay much attention to where she actually was, which now was partially on top of Liv, who squeaked, trying not to laugh too loudly now she was pinned to the bed by their dog. "Oh ....good grief," she managed finally, trying to pull her arm free only. Bella rolled onto her side obligingly, now pinning Johnny down.

Olivia Storm

Date: 2014-05-26 13:58 EST
Johnny groaned when he found the heavy dog on top of him, but he was laughing, too, resigned to find a solution to even this problem. "Maybe we should just get a bigger bed!" he exclaimed. Whatever Lucy and Steve thought about the giggling in the guest room was uncertain, but at least they were laughing instead of crying for a change.

Well, at least they hadn't woken Jamie up. That was a small blessing. Liv pushed herself to sit up, wedging her hands underneath Bella's top half to make the Beaucheron sit up with her. "Come on, you daft dog," she said affectionately, "off. Bella, blanket." Bella whined, licking her face for a moment, before heaving a doggy sigh and thumping off the end of the bed onto her blanket again. Liv dropped down onto her back again, a few residual giggles escaping. "We really need to work on that with her."

"Sorry, it's my fault. I called her," Johnny apologized, though he was still trying to stifle a chuckle or two. "I think she crushed the boys," he grumbled reaching beneath the blankets to adjust his package.

"Well, I would offer to check that, but for two reasons," Liv grinned, sliding back into her place tucked under his arm. "Maybe you should start wearing a cup to bed."

"Maybe we should work on training her to stay off the bed," he countered with a smirk, feeling so much lighter and happier than he had just a few hours ago. Hell, a few minutes ago. He turned his head to press a kiss against her lips, lowering his voice to a whisper, his words for her ears only. "I love you, Olivia."

She cuddled into his arms, returning his kiss with gentle tenderness and a warm smile. "I love you back," she promised him, her own voice a soft whisper in the darkness. "I think I'm going to have sweet dreams tonight, thanks to you."

"I have sweet dreams every night, thanks to you," he countered, kissing her again and hugging her close. That wasn't quite true, but it was close enough to the truth. Despite the problems and challenges that presented themselves every now and then, these last two years with Olivia were the happiest years of his life.

They'd had a rough beginning, but a pretty smooth ride up until this point, always managing to overcome the obstacles put in front of them together. Even this, difficult though it was, was something they could get through together. They already had plans for it, and over the coming weeks and months, those plans would be set in stone as best they could. Who knew? Maybe by Christmas, they would have the beginnings of that family they both wanted so badly, ready to walk into the new year with not only each other, but someone else who needed them, too.

((Hope on the horizon for the Storms! And this has been a lot of fun, despite the potentially upsetting storyline - huge thanks to Johnny's player for thinking of it!))