Miranda was no stranger to babies, and yet, the little one she had been carrying around, jiggling, singing to, feeding, changing, and rocking for the last hour or so was wearing on her last nerve. It wasn't the little one's fault, though. It was partly Miranda's frayed nerves and partly the fact that her mother had been missing since the night before. It wasn't the first time Lei had disappeared for hours at a time, but the look on Rufus' face when he'd gotten a phone call early that morning had given her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know what was going on, but being the eternal optimist that she was, she was praying it was nothing serious. Still, she wasn't going to be able to relax until Rufus called or came home with news, and with Lei in tow.
Long absences when it came to Lei were no surprise, true, but it was unusual for Rufus to leave for hours at a time and not call to reassure his wife. Unusual enough to worry her, at the very least. A worry that, at least partially, disappeared when the sound of keys jangled in the lock, and Rufus let himself in, closing the door quietly behind him. He looked exhausted, claw marks ripped through his shirt in a few places, bloodstained but not seriously injured. But it was the pain and guilt in his face that drew the eye, even as he made straight for his wife and the tiny baby she held, enveloping them both in an embrace that he seemed to need more than they did.
As soon as Miranda heard the jingle of keys in the lock, she made a beeline for the door, the fussing baby held tightly in her arms, anxious for her husband's safe return, as well as the young woman he thought of as his daughter. When he finally let himself in and she got a good look at him, her face turned pale and she gasped in horror, but to her credit, the child in her arms remained securely in place. "Oh my God, Rufus! What happened" You're bleeding! Are you hurt' Where's Lei?" she asked, a flurry of questions before he was enveloping them both in an unexpected embrace without saying a word of explanation, very un-Rufus-like. There wasn't much she could do with a baby in her arms, except let him cling to her as much as he wanted. "Sweetheart, what?s wrong?" she asked in a soft voice, terrified to know the answer.
The answer seemed to come from a long way away, as though Rufus had to surface from whatever dark hell he was walking through in order to find it before he told her. "She's gone, Miri," he said simply, stroking his fingers against baby Rowan's cheek as she finally calmed. "I didn't get to her in time."
"What-what are you talking about?" she said, eyes wide as she pulled back from him just far enough that she could look up into his face. All the color had gone out of her face, and her heart was pounding with fear and dread. He couldn't mean what she thought he meant, could he" Gone" Gone where" No, no, no ....Lei couldn't possibly be dead. She had a baby to raise - a little girl who needed her.
"Sit down, angel." With one arm around her, Rufus guided his wife to a seat, lowering himself down beside her. He seemed more tired than anything, but even so, there was a heaviness to his voice that betrayed the very deep struggle inside him. He'd failed. After twelve years, he had finally failed to keep Lei safe.
"No, Rufus ....please ....Just tell me Lei is safe. She's in the hospital or something, right' But she's going to be okay," she pleaded, eyes swimming with tears. She turned to him, clutching his torn and bloodied shirt, her heart sinking, knowing without him coming right out and saying it that Lei was truly gone. "Please, Rufus ..." she whispered again.
He was quiet for a very long time, and for only the second time since she had known him, his eyes slowly grew wet with tears he made no attempt to suppress. "Nothing is ever going to hurt her again," he said finally, unable to bring himself to say the words. They were too final, somehow, for a life that had gone on far longer than it should have; a life that had given birth to the beautiful baby girl in Miranda's arms who would never now know her mother.
It didn't matter that Lei had lived longer than expected, longer than most Slayers expected to live. It didn't matter how many lives she had saved or that one of them was Miranda's own flesh and blood. It didn't matter that no one was ever going to hurt her again. If she was really and truly gone, then who was going to raise her baby' Who was going to love Ro and tell her about her mother" What was going to happen to them all now that Lei was gone" What was going to happen to Rufus" Miranda swallowed hard, realizing suddenly how much this was costing him, how much it was hurting him - not just because he loved Lei like a daughter, but because he would never stop blaming himself for her death. "Oh, God, Rufio ..." she whispered quietly, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry." She drew him close, Lei's baby in one arm and the man who'd been like a father to the girl in her other, trying her best to comfort them both when her own heart felt like it was breaking.
His arms wrapped about them both once again, his face buried in the crook of Miranda's neck as Rufus let himself cry a few of those tears. He'd been too late to save a girl for whom he had been responsible for almost half her life. He would never forgive himself for that lapse, though they had both known the day was coming. "I'd started to think she might escape it," he admitted brokenly. "That somehow she'd be allowed to raise her own daughter and live out her life. I should never have let her go."
They had talked about it often enough in the wee hours of the night when it was dark and still and just the two of them. They had talked about whether Lei would be able to escape the fate she'd been given through no fault or choice of her own. They had hoped and prayed it would be so, but it seemed now it had only been wishful thinking. There was no escaping Lei's fate, no matter how much Miranda and Rufus might have wanted it, and no matter how much Lei's daughter needed her. "Shhh," she told him, fingers stroking his hair, his cheek, trying hard not to linger on the blood or the claw marks or the torn shirt. Had it been vampires in the end or something else? She wasn't sure, nor did it really matter. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could," she told him quietly, trying to console the inconsolable. They were only words, after all. What good were words at a time like this, when his whole world was falling apart' But it wasn't his whole world, really - only a part of it.
Taking a slow, deep breath, he rubbed the wetness from his cheeks, looking down at little Ro, fast asleep in Miranda's arms. "I couldn't leave her there," he confessed quietly. "She'd been ambushed, that much was obvious. Organized by vampires, I think, but acted on by werewolves and ghouls and demons. They really wanted her gone." He cleared his throat painfully, rubbing his neck. "She took most of them down before they got her. If I'd been any later ..." He shook his head, uncertain Miranda really needed to know what it was those things would have done to Lei's body if he had not been there to fight them off. "I took her to the nearest Watch house; they arranged medical attention for me, and she's in their morgue for now. I need to arrange to have her cremated. The creatures here won't leave her unmolested unless there is no body to defile."
It was probably a good thing that he didn't go into more details if the look of horror and grief on Miranda's face was anything to go by. She was trying to be brave and strong for him, but she suddenly found herself trembling, her face deathly pale, holding herself together by a mere thread. "Werewolves," she whispered, terror seizing her heart. As if vampires weren't bad enough. Vampires and werewolves and ghouls and demons. Suddenly, she hated Rhy'Din and all of its weirdness, remembering why he had insisted she and Bethany remain in New York. "Please tell me you didn't ....you aren't ..." Her gaze darted to the claw marks in his shirt. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she lost him, if he turned, but she had a feeling if there was any chance of that, however slim, he wouldn't be here with her and the baby - he wouldn't take that risk.
He shook his head, tightening his arm about her in reassurance. "Werewolves are not stupid enough to fight a man who throws silver caltrops ahead of himself before entering a room," he assured her gently. "There was only one of them there, and he left quickly. It was the demons who fought back. I'm in no danger, love, I promise you. Not anymore."
Long absences when it came to Lei were no surprise, true, but it was unusual for Rufus to leave for hours at a time and not call to reassure his wife. Unusual enough to worry her, at the very least. A worry that, at least partially, disappeared when the sound of keys jangled in the lock, and Rufus let himself in, closing the door quietly behind him. He looked exhausted, claw marks ripped through his shirt in a few places, bloodstained but not seriously injured. But it was the pain and guilt in his face that drew the eye, even as he made straight for his wife and the tiny baby she held, enveloping them both in an embrace that he seemed to need more than they did.
As soon as Miranda heard the jingle of keys in the lock, she made a beeline for the door, the fussing baby held tightly in her arms, anxious for her husband's safe return, as well as the young woman he thought of as his daughter. When he finally let himself in and she got a good look at him, her face turned pale and she gasped in horror, but to her credit, the child in her arms remained securely in place. "Oh my God, Rufus! What happened" You're bleeding! Are you hurt' Where's Lei?" she asked, a flurry of questions before he was enveloping them both in an unexpected embrace without saying a word of explanation, very un-Rufus-like. There wasn't much she could do with a baby in her arms, except let him cling to her as much as he wanted. "Sweetheart, what?s wrong?" she asked in a soft voice, terrified to know the answer.
The answer seemed to come from a long way away, as though Rufus had to surface from whatever dark hell he was walking through in order to find it before he told her. "She's gone, Miri," he said simply, stroking his fingers against baby Rowan's cheek as she finally calmed. "I didn't get to her in time."
"What-what are you talking about?" she said, eyes wide as she pulled back from him just far enough that she could look up into his face. All the color had gone out of her face, and her heart was pounding with fear and dread. He couldn't mean what she thought he meant, could he" Gone" Gone where" No, no, no ....Lei couldn't possibly be dead. She had a baby to raise - a little girl who needed her.
"Sit down, angel." With one arm around her, Rufus guided his wife to a seat, lowering himself down beside her. He seemed more tired than anything, but even so, there was a heaviness to his voice that betrayed the very deep struggle inside him. He'd failed. After twelve years, he had finally failed to keep Lei safe.
"No, Rufus ....please ....Just tell me Lei is safe. She's in the hospital or something, right' But she's going to be okay," she pleaded, eyes swimming with tears. She turned to him, clutching his torn and bloodied shirt, her heart sinking, knowing without him coming right out and saying it that Lei was truly gone. "Please, Rufus ..." she whispered again.
He was quiet for a very long time, and for only the second time since she had known him, his eyes slowly grew wet with tears he made no attempt to suppress. "Nothing is ever going to hurt her again," he said finally, unable to bring himself to say the words. They were too final, somehow, for a life that had gone on far longer than it should have; a life that had given birth to the beautiful baby girl in Miranda's arms who would never now know her mother.
It didn't matter that Lei had lived longer than expected, longer than most Slayers expected to live. It didn't matter how many lives she had saved or that one of them was Miranda's own flesh and blood. It didn't matter that no one was ever going to hurt her again. If she was really and truly gone, then who was going to raise her baby' Who was going to love Ro and tell her about her mother" What was going to happen to them all now that Lei was gone" What was going to happen to Rufus" Miranda swallowed hard, realizing suddenly how much this was costing him, how much it was hurting him - not just because he loved Lei like a daughter, but because he would never stop blaming himself for her death. "Oh, God, Rufio ..." she whispered quietly, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry." She drew him close, Lei's baby in one arm and the man who'd been like a father to the girl in her other, trying her best to comfort them both when her own heart felt like it was breaking.
His arms wrapped about them both once again, his face buried in the crook of Miranda's neck as Rufus let himself cry a few of those tears. He'd been too late to save a girl for whom he had been responsible for almost half her life. He would never forgive himself for that lapse, though they had both known the day was coming. "I'd started to think she might escape it," he admitted brokenly. "That somehow she'd be allowed to raise her own daughter and live out her life. I should never have let her go."
They had talked about it often enough in the wee hours of the night when it was dark and still and just the two of them. They had talked about whether Lei would be able to escape the fate she'd been given through no fault or choice of her own. They had hoped and prayed it would be so, but it seemed now it had only been wishful thinking. There was no escaping Lei's fate, no matter how much Miranda and Rufus might have wanted it, and no matter how much Lei's daughter needed her. "Shhh," she told him, fingers stroking his hair, his cheek, trying hard not to linger on the blood or the claw marks or the torn shirt. Had it been vampires in the end or something else? She wasn't sure, nor did it really matter. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could," she told him quietly, trying to console the inconsolable. They were only words, after all. What good were words at a time like this, when his whole world was falling apart' But it wasn't his whole world, really - only a part of it.
Taking a slow, deep breath, he rubbed the wetness from his cheeks, looking down at little Ro, fast asleep in Miranda's arms. "I couldn't leave her there," he confessed quietly. "She'd been ambushed, that much was obvious. Organized by vampires, I think, but acted on by werewolves and ghouls and demons. They really wanted her gone." He cleared his throat painfully, rubbing his neck. "She took most of them down before they got her. If I'd been any later ..." He shook his head, uncertain Miranda really needed to know what it was those things would have done to Lei's body if he had not been there to fight them off. "I took her to the nearest Watch house; they arranged medical attention for me, and she's in their morgue for now. I need to arrange to have her cremated. The creatures here won't leave her unmolested unless there is no body to defile."
It was probably a good thing that he didn't go into more details if the look of horror and grief on Miranda's face was anything to go by. She was trying to be brave and strong for him, but she suddenly found herself trembling, her face deathly pale, holding herself together by a mere thread. "Werewolves," she whispered, terror seizing her heart. As if vampires weren't bad enough. Vampires and werewolves and ghouls and demons. Suddenly, she hated Rhy'Din and all of its weirdness, remembering why he had insisted she and Bethany remain in New York. "Please tell me you didn't ....you aren't ..." Her gaze darted to the claw marks in his shirt. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she lost him, if he turned, but she had a feeling if there was any chance of that, however slim, he wouldn't be here with her and the baby - he wouldn't take that risk.
He shook his head, tightening his arm about her in reassurance. "Werewolves are not stupid enough to fight a man who throws silver caltrops ahead of himself before entering a room," he assured her gently. "There was only one of them there, and he left quickly. It was the demons who fought back. I'm in no danger, love, I promise you. Not anymore."