Topic: Breathe Out

Piper Granger

Date: 2013-02-23 08:13 EST
Tuesday, 19th February, 2013

More waiting. But not quite so hopeless now as it had been before. Piper paced uncomfortably back and forth in the corridor outside the ward where Des' private room was located. She had been there when, miraculously, he had woken up in the early hours of the morning, unceremoniously dismissed by the nurses as a doctor was called to assess his condition and clear him for magical healing. The healer had come to the hospital a few hours later, by which time Piper had been convinced to go home and rest, and after walking with Lyneth and one of the Knights of St Aldwin to the Harker Academy that morning, the young mother had returned to the hospital to find out how the healing had gone. She'd been told that it had gone well, but that Des was sleeping once again, and that they did not want him to be disturbed for the time being. So she was waiting, impatient to see him once more and assure herself that her poisonous curse hadn't done too much damage.

Upon first awakening, Desmond had been groggy, confused, and disoriented. He'd barely been able to keep his eyes open more than a few minutes at first, hardly long enough to assess his own situation, much less remember what had happened. He was somewhat aware of being in a hospital bed, aware of an array of tubes and other equipment monitoring his vitals and keeping him alive, but not aware of much else. It wasn't until the medication started to wear off that he came around again, groggily asking for Piper and being told that she'd been sent home to rest. There had been tests and questions, and other poking and prodding, most of it painful to one degree or another, though he made few complaints, until the healer had finally arrived to mend whatever damage traditional medicine had been unable to heal. He'd asked what had happened, but had been administered more painkillers and told to rest. Everything would become clear soon enough.

Rest he had, unable to do much else, unable to fight the heaviness droop of eyelids that refused to remain open. A few more hours passed while he slept, his body slowly mending the damage that had been done while his mind rested. When he awoke for the third time, he felt tired, sore, and weak, but more awake and alert than before, and feeling only minimal discomfort. As soon as his eyes opened and he was able to move his lips, the first thing he did was to ask again for Piper, needing to see her, needing to know that she was real and not just some figment of his imagination.

And finally, his request was granted. Piper was shown into the private room, pale and nervous, uncertain of what it was she was going to find there. Was he really okay, or were they being kind to hide some deformation or lifelong disability' She paused in the doorway, casting a worried glance to the nurse who encouraged her inside before taking the few steps to Des' bedside almost silently. Lowering herself into the chair there, she reached out a hesitant hand to touch his fingers. "Des" I ....they said you were asking for me."

His eyes were closed when she came in, resting quietly. Though he was no longer drugged into a stupor, it would be a little while before he got his strength back and no longer felt like a wrung out dish rag. He turned his head toward the sound of her voice, smiling a little, gray-blue eyes sliding open to search for her face. He felt her touch his hand, and his fingers curled slowly around hers, as much to comfort her as himself. "Hey," he said, his voice quiet and weak, but unmistakably his.

"Hey." She'd promised herself she would keep it together, but as she looked into his eyes and heard his voice, Piper realised once again just how close she had come to never seeing that slate grey-blue again, or hearing the gentle cadence of his voice as he spoke to her. Tears suddenly bubbled up, bursting out of her as she ducked her head, her free hand scrabbling for the tissues in her bag. "I'm sorry, I ....I'm so sorry."

The smile on his face faded as she burst into tears and ducked her head to search for tissues, one hand still clutching his. He wasn't sure what she was apologizing for; it was him who owed her an apology. Something tugged at his mind, some scrap of memory. He seemed to recall watching her, crying at his bedside while she clung to his hand. She'd said something through her tears. What had it been" "Don't cry, Pip. I'm okay. It's gonna be okay." He wished he could take her in his arms and soothe her, but he could barely lift his head from the pillow just yet. Instead, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as if to remind her that he was still there, still alive, and had no intention of leaving.

"But it's not," she whimpered quietly, ruthlessly scrubbing her cheeks dry before blowing her nose with wonderful, if unattractive, practicality. "You almost died. I should have known something was going to happen; it always does, and it's getting worse. I could have lost you forever." Tears threatened once again, before she drew herself together hard. "I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry on you, and look at me. I'm such a mess."

"Pippen, please..." He started, not really realizing that he'd just hung a silly nickname on her, one he'd been considering a long time but had yet to use. His heart sank as he watched her, feeling helpless, unable to take her in his arms, unable to stop her tears. "I didn't die. I'm not going to die." Oh, he knew he'd come close, dangerously close, but miraculously, he had lived, in good part because of Lyneth, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around that just yet. He'd think about it later when he had time to think. Right now, the important thing was making Piper understand that this wasn't her fault and that he wasn't giving up that easily. "It's not your fault, Piper. None of this is your fault." He sighed, closing his eyes a moment as if to rest a moment and gather his strength.

"I told you I was poison," she said unhappily, listening as he spoke but barely taking what he said in through her personal cloud of distress and despair. "I don't know what to do. I love you so much, but loving you puts you in danger, it puts you in the firing line of whatever it is that's so determined to keep me on my own. But I can't let go. I won't hurt you like that, and Lynnie ....she'd never forgive me." Her fingers tightened, trembling, on his for a moment as she drew in a shaky breath. "I don't know how to keep you safe."

He drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He felt tired, wrung out, exhausted, but relieved for the moment to be alive. Why couldn't she just be happy to have him back instead of blaming herself for what had happened" There was no curse. It hadn't been her fault. She'd had nothing to do with it. He wasn't sure he could make her understand that without telling her the whole story, and he wasn't sure he had the strength to tell it, or if he could even make sense of it all just yet. "Piper, stop it," he told her, trying to sound as stern as he could, despite the obvious weakness in his voice. "You're not poison and you aren't putting me in danger. This wasn't about you. It was about the case."

It couldn't have been more obvious from her reaction that few people had ever been stern with Piper Davidson in her entire lifetime. For a long moment, she took on the look of a scolded child - flushed cheeks, wide eyes, fright mixed with mild resentment in her expression - before she subsided, lowering her gaze from his with a sense of shame. "I'm sorry," she apologised quietly. "I didn't mean ....it doesn't matter." With a visible effort, she pulled herself together, forcing a smile as her eyes lifted to his once again. "So when do they think you'll be well enough to come home?"

And there she was apologizing again and changing the subject. Why couldn't she just be happy he was alive" Was she going to blame herself for every little thing that ever went wrong" He felt horrible about having to get stern with her, but someone had to. He just wished she'd stop blaming herself for everything and expecting the worst, especially when they had so much to be thankful for. He sighed as she smiled, knowing that smile was forced, more for his sake than from any happiness she was feeling. All of this was his fault. He shouldn't have delayed so long. He'd put her through all this anguish and for what? It was his fault, not hers. He would have shrugged in response, but he lacked the energy. "I don't know. A few days, I suppose."

That was the problem. She was happy, overjoyed, to know he was alive and safe and well on the road to recovery, but with that happiness came the fear that it might not last. That this had been a warning of what would happen to him in the future if she gave him everything she wanted to. She wouldn't be truly happy until he was up and about, home again where she and Lyneth and the faery folk who watched over them could keep him safe from whatever was out to get him. As he sighed, she knew he had caught her out in her forced smile, and with an effort that cost her pains, she relaxed that expression, the force leaving her smile to settle her expression into something relaxed and as genuine as she could make it. "And you're coming home, yes?" she asked softly, choosing to stay on this safe subject for now. "Lyneth's been busily making and remaking the bed for you. She'll be very put out if you don't sleep in it at least once."

Piper Granger

Date: 2013-02-23 08:14 EST
There was the big question that seemed to hover over them. It was a bit of a Catch-22, it seemed. She seemed to think he was in danger so long as he was with her, and yet, she didn't seem to want to let go of him either. One way or another, she was going to have to come to terms with the fact that bad things happened sometimes and either take the chance and accept the risk, or never know love again. This was something she had to understand before he could answer her question. "Pip," he started quietly, rubbing a thumb against the back of her hand, trying to soften his voice. "You have to stop worrying you're going to lose me. I can't promise I'm going to live forever. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I love you, and I want to be with you, if you still want me."

"Of course I still want you!" she exclaimed, hurt that he would even consider that she wouldn't. Despite her worries and fears, she had not hidden her feelings from him at all, never lying to him even when her fears were completely irrational. But suddenly, she felt rushed. He had told her he would wait until she was ready, until she'd had the time to set aside the past, and yet now he seemed to be telling her that the time he'd given her was up, leaving her two choices. She could be truthful, and risk him walking away because she was still scared; or she could lie to the man she loved and hope he never found her out. "I ....I don't know what you want me to say," she admitted softly. "I don't know what the right answer is." And she felt the familiar sense of failure making itself known that she couldn't just drop everything and give him every ounce of what he was asking for, without a second thought.

And yet, he hadn't waited until she was ready, until she'd told him she was ready. He'd assumed she was ready when she'd asked him to move in, when he'd told her he wanted them to be a family. He thought she'd agreed. Wasn't that what she wanted" He wasn't asking her to marry him, if she wasn't ready for that yet. He was only asking her to trust him. Hadn't he given up everything for her" He already knew what he wanted from her; perhaps it was time for her to decide what it was she wanted from him. "I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to tell me what you want."

She held his gaze for a long moment, the mask she had so painstakingly assembled for his peace of mind crumbling under his assessment of her. She couldn't lie to him; even if he hadn't been a lawyer and something of a genius at reading people, he knew her too well by now not to notice the lie making itself known. Piper swallowed, lowering her eyes to their joined hands, glad that Lyneth wasn't here to witness this humiliating conversation.

"I'm scared," she confessed very softly, not daring to raise her eyes. "I'm scared that I'm the reason you were hurt. Maybe not directly, but still me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to make a family with you and Lynnie, but I'm so frightened that I'll poison it, like I've poisoned everything else in my life. And I know you're not superstitious and I sound like a complete fool to you for believing it at all, especially since you're giving up so much to be with us ....I only want you to be safe and happy, and if that's with us, with me, then nothing could make me happier. But you can't make me stop being scared just like that, Des, it doesn't happen overnight. And if you don't think you can trust me to hold that feeling off, then ....I don't know what I can do."

He listened to all of this with the patience of a saint, knowing that she needed to be honest with herself as much as with him. She needed to tell him how she felt, not only so he could try and understand her, but so that she could try and understand herself. "Piper," he started again, trying hard to gentle his voice and not sound condescending. He didn't want to lecture or scold her, but he did want to make her understand. "Do you think you're the only one who's scared" Don't you think I'm scared, too' I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and the thought of being without you....It scares me to death. But I'm not going to let that stop us from being together or from being happy. We deserve this, Pip. Please....Don't let your fears stop us from being together. That's-That's all I'm asking."

His voice betrayed him, cracking with emotion. He closed his eyes so that she wouldn't see the tears that were clouding his vision. He had told her he loved her, and he knew she loved him, too. Why did it have to be so complicated"

"I never said I would ever let my fear get in the way," she murmured softly, finally locating the misunderstanding at the heart of their crossed wires. "Just because I feel it doesn't mean it has any strength to affect the decisions I make in love. I want you to be with us, with me. I want us to have a home together, wherever that might be. I want to get old and wrinkly and crusty with you. I haven't changed my mind, Des. I thought perhaps you might, but I was wrong. And I'm glad I was wrong."

He'd only cried in front of her once before, once when he'd been telling her about his mother, but the thought of having lost his mother felt like nothing compared to the thought of losing her. Piper and Lyneth were his life now. He'd given up everything to be with them, and he wasn't sure he could go home now, even if he wanted to. He'd told her he had nothing left back home, and he'd meant it. Home had become wherever Piper and Lyneth were. Rhy'Din had become home. He said nothing, eyes remaining closed as he struggled to control his emotions, turning his head aside so she wouldn't notice that struggle apparent on his face, just as she'd been struggling with her own emotions a short time ago. "I haven't changed my mind," he said quietly, as he turned back to her, blue-gray eyes swimming with tears. "I want to be with you."

Piper leaned forward, closing both hands tenderly tight about his own as she held his gaze, feeling as shaken as he looked, wishing there was some way to show him how strongly she felt about him without having to rely on words that weren't good enough. "Then get better," she told him as firmly as she could, "and come home. We need you, Des." She paused, drawing his hand to her lips to kiss his fingertips lovingly. "I need you."

I need you. I love you. He thought he remembered her saying that before, when he was still hanging in the balance between life and death. He'd tried to tell her he loved her and that he wasn't going to leave her, but she hadn't heard him, hadn't known he was there, watching, listening. He let the tears come, rolling silently down his cheeks, into the short scruff of beard that covered his jaw and chin. "I will. I promise," he told her, his voice a hoarse whisper, partly due to emotional strain, partly weariness. "I love you," he said quietly, having said it so many times before. The words seemed so inadequate to express all he was feeling. "I can't live without you." It was more than just need or desire. She was his life now, and his life was nothing without her.

And there it was, the smile that didn't need to be forced or constructed. It just happened, lighting up her sad face and chasing that upset away in a gentle quirk of her lips, her blue eyes brightening as she drew her chair closer. Half rising out of that seat, Piper leaned over Des, touching her lips to his tenderly. "I love you back," she promised him in a fervent whisper, nuzzling softly for a moment before sitting herself back down again. Her fingers stroked his cheek lovingly as she leaned against the edge of the bed. "Oh, I should have told you straight off," she said suddenly, remembering what she had been told days ago. "Someone from the Watch will be coming to see you now you're awake. He said he was the liaison officer for the De Luca case, whatever that means."

Her smile was enough to light up a room, easing the ache in his heart, the soft words of love chasing away any doubt in his mind that she loved him and wanted him to stay. He returned her kiss, lacking the strength to put any real fire into it, though it was tender in its own way, needy and longing. His eyes drifted closed a moment as her lips touched his, blue-gray eyes opening slowly to take her in as she touched his cheek, his head propped against the pillows. He seemed to relax, if only for a moment, until she spoke again, a look of confusion returning to his face. "The Watch?" he echoed. What did the Watch want with him' The stabbing had happened in New York, not in Rhy'Din. His brows shot upwards as she explained further. "The De Luca case. How's the Watch know about that?" he asked, confused.

Piper's smile turned a little wry, her brow rising in amusement. "How would I know?" she pointed out a little comically. "I'm not a big bad lawyer like you." Chuckling, she drew her trailing fingertips from his cheek, wrapping her hands about his fingers once again. "I would assume that it has something to do with Mataya De Luca. She owns the Shanachie Theater here, though I'm not sure what that has to do with you, love."

Piper Granger

Date: 2013-02-23 08:15 EST
Des got that look on his face that said he was deep in thought, his head starting to ache as he tried to sort it all out. The hell was she talking about' There were De Lucas here" Could they be the same De Lucas that were involved in the Nicoletti case" His mind felt a bit slow, still a bit groggy. Though his wounds were mostly healed, it was going to take some time before he felt 100%. "Mataya," he repeated, as recognition set in. "Elena's sister."

"I think so, yes," Piper agreed softly, though she wasn't entirely sure. "She was at Victoria's baby shower, she's one of Jon's closest friends. There was some trouble or something in the autumn about her mother and sisters moving here, but it was all very hush-hush. And surprisingly, people don't ask that many questions here." She brightened, having something else to offer to the conversation, too. "The new ballet company at the Shanachie" Mataya's brother is running that, with his partner. Someone Komaroff, or something like that. Russian ballerina."

"They're here?" he asked, his brows arching again in obvious surprise. Well, obviously they were here. How did the saying go' It's a small world" It seemed it was an even smaller universe. "That's..." He broke off in thought again. He'd read the report about the Komarova girl. She'd been....taken for a drive....was how the police had put it. Badly shaken up. She was lucky to still be alive, but it seemed Nicoletti's goons had only wanted to scare the girl. If they'd wanted her dead, she'd be dead. They hadn't made the same mistake with him. He glanced off toward nothing in particular, a little lost in thought, wondering what he should do now, wondering if people back home thought he was dead.

Piper shrugged lightly, not knowing why it was such important information to Des, these little rumors and bits of gossip confirmed by familiarity with the main players. "Well, as I say, I know very little about the circumstances," she admitted quietly. "I just thought you should know, so that the Watch don't take you by surprise. They want to know how you ended up stabbed in the first place, and something about wanting to know what to tell their Earth counterparts."

"Right," Des replied, visibly clenching his jaw. It might have been nice to know the De Lucas were right under his nose all this while, not that it would have saved Komarova or himself from being attacked. He understood why they'd kept the De Lucas' location a secret, but it irked him that all this time, they'd been right under his nose. And if he could run into them...."Damn it," Des muttered. He'd been so close to tightening the screws on Nicoletti; now he wasn't sure what would happen, and if anyone back home found out the De Lucas were here, there'd be trouble. He searched his mind for anything he might have left behind that would tell his attackers about Rhy'Din, but nothing came to mind. He'd been careful, but he was only human, and he had no idea how long they'd been following him.

Piper watched him frown and tense, biting her lip worriedly. She hadn't meant to tell him anything that would set him back or upset him in anyway, but she'd managed to cause distress of some kind twice now. "Des, what is it?" she asked him softly. "I didn't think warning you about the Watch coming would upset you like this, have I missed something?"

"There was only one person who knew I was working late that night," he remarked. Granted, he was known to work late many nights, but unless someone was keeping tabs on him, they wouldn't have known so much about his comings and goings. "If they knew that, how much else do they know?"

"I don't understand," she said softly through a faint frown, settling her lean against the bed more comfortably as she watched him considering his theories and hunches. "Not that I need to understand, but I'd like to be able to help, if I can."

"Don't you get it, Piper" I was set up. Someone tried to kill me, and it's all got to do with the De Luca case," he told her, frowning worriedly. Not so much worried as angry. If his hunch was right, things just got a lot more complicated. Suddenly, he was a man with a mission, even though he'd nearly died and was still weak from loss of blood. He threw the covers off and swung his legs off the bed, even as he fought against the wave of dizziness that had come over him as he'd sat up.

"No, I don't get it, because I don't know what you're talking about," Piper informed him pointedly, rising to her feet as he threw his covers off. She caught his legs as they swung out, pushing them back onto the bed and covering him up again. "Don't you dare," she told him, deathly serious for a moment. "Six hours ago, you were at death?s door. You are not putting me or Lyneth through that again just because you've had some kind of epiphany. Tell the Watch when they arrive. Your job right now is to get better and nothing else. Do you understand me?" She stared into his eyes, willing him to do as he was told.

His eyes flashed angrily for a moment as she pushed him back onto the bed. "My job is to put scumbags like the Nicolettis away so they can't hurt people like the De Lucas!" he shot back, the outburst alone taking more out of him than he'd expected. Anyway, he was wrong. It wasn't his job anymore. He'd given his notice, and they'd tried to kill him anyway. Why' Because he knew too much' Because they wanted him out of the way' Just in case he changed his mind" He laid back against the pillows, all the anger going out of him. He wasn't angry with her. What the hell did he care so much for anyway' He'd told her there was nothing left for him back home and he'd meant it. His life was here with her and Lyneth now. It was the unfairness of it all that galled him. He'd devoted his life to seeing that justice was served, but this wasn't justice. "I'm sorry," he said, closing his eyes for a moment as he waited for the dizziness to pass. "I'm sorry for putting you through this. You don't deserve this."

"It's not your fault," she told him, in a strange echo of the words he had used to her not so very long ago. "None of this is your fault." She sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed, more to imprison him there than for any sense of comfort. "Look, Des, I know you're angry about what?s happened. I know you're going to want to do something about it. But I'm not going to let you make yourself ill or do yourself further damage before your body is ready to take it. Magical healing is quicker than conventional medicine, yes, but that doesn't mean it's fool proof. If you push yourself too soon, you'll undo everything that's been done to save your life, and I don't know if they'd be able to bring you back a second time. Please, just ....be patient."

He laid a hand against his eyes as he listened to her, partly to shield his face from her so she couldn't see how deeply upset he was and partly to stop his head from throbbing. He knew she was right. She was always right....except when it came to her fears about losing him, it seemed, but then, she'd almost done just that. If it hadn't been for Lyneth....The thought of Lyneth made his heart ache again. How the hell had she found him' How had she brought him here" "Lyneth..." he broke off, her name catching in his throat, as he felt the tears start again. Not knowing what else to do, she'd brought him to Piper. He seemed to recall lying in her arms, growing weaker and weaker as he slowly bled out. "She saved my life. You both did," he said as he dropped the hand from his eyes and looked back at her.

Yes." Piper drew the word out on a long breath, her own confusion showing on her face as she considered just how her special little girl had managed to do all that. "I'm still getting my head around that. I'm not sure I understand how she knew what was happening, much less how she became a fully grown woman to go and save you." Her hand cupped his cheek tenderly. "I can't say I'm not glad she did, though."

What he was feeling in that moment was hard for him to fathom. Love, gratitude, relief, wonder, all wrapped up along with fear and anger. Tears spilled over onto his cheeks and he wondered if he should apologize for those, too. He suddenly felt so tired, like he could sleep for a week. "Is she all right?" he asked, remembering the beautiful Fae woman who'd somehow opened a portal to save him, putting her own life at risk doing so.

Piper smiled gently. "She's fine," she assured him. "She has a cut on the sole of one of her feet, but it's healing up well. She's more worried about you than herself." It took her a moment to add a more significant detail. "She's back to her usual self now, too. Not a terrifyingly grown up, gorgeous young woman."

"I owe her a debt of gratitude," he told her, the tears slowly subsiding. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly feeling so emotional, when he always held his emotions perfectly in check. "I'm sorry I made you both worry." There he was apologizing again, for what he wasn't sure. "This case..." He exhaled a sigh. "I don't know why it's so important to me."

Piper Granger

Date: 2013-02-23 08:17 EST
"You've invested so much of your time and energy into it," she offered softly, trying to make sense of that feeling for him. "Even though you'd handed in your notice, you were prepared to extend that period of time to make certain that the case continued on smoothly without you. And now ....well, now it's personal, in a way it wasn't before." She squeezed his hand lovingly. "I do understand that it is important, love. I just ....I don't want you killing yourself to even the score."

"It's not about evening the score, Piper," he said, as he dropped his gaze to the hand that was clutching his, so small and soft in his larger hand, just like their personalities - hers, sweet and innocent, and his, hardened and cynical. She was his hope and his redemption. He wondered if she knew how she had saved him, in more ways than one. "It's about justice," he explained, sounding drained. He'd dedicated his whole life to justice. What was he supposed to do now"

"Justice for who?" It seemed like such a naive question. But Piper had seen the anger in Des' eyes, and she knew this wasn't entirely about getting justice for whoever was involved in the case that had led to his getting hurt. One man's justice was another man's revenge, and yet another man's crime and misdemeanor. She just wasn't sure which side of that T-turn Des was falling to right now.

"People like that....people who only care about power and greed. They use people, Piper, and they don't care who they hurt. People like my father, like Marco Nicoletti. I've seen too many people hurt by people just like them. My mother....Me....You know what they say' There but for the grace of God, go I. It could have been me. I could have been one of them, but I got lucky. Someone took the time to steer me the right way, and I've never looked back."

Unsettled by the way the conversation was going, Piper leaned down, bracing herself against the bed beside him until she filled his vision. "Sweetheart, I love you," she told him once more. "But this is sounding as though you're planning some kind of vendetta, and that scares me."

Eyes the color of rain clouds met her gaze, unflinching, but weary - tired of the fight, wanting it to be over, but refusing to let men like Nicoletti win. "No vendetta, Piper. I'm not like them. I won't be like them." The look in his eyes was earnest, determined. He wanted justice, not vengeance. There was a difference. "I have to talk to the Watch. I'm just not sure who I can trust."

She sighed softly, wishing she could help in some way but not knowing how, or even if that was possible. "You can ask whoever comes to you to be truth-read," she suggested thoughtfully. "I'm not entirely sure how it works, though I suppose it involves trusting the reader. I don't know. But surely if whoever did this to you had contacts in Rhy'Din, they would have made sure by now."

"You mean they would have finished the job," he corrected her, bluntly coming to the point. He frowned, looking back at their linked hands again. He should have known better than get involved with someone. He'd inadvertently dragged her into this and put both her life and Lyneth's in danger, but it was too late to turn back now. They'd come too far for that, and he didn't want to live without her. "You'd be safer without me, you know."

"No, I wouldn't," she told him, not even needing a moment to think over this comment of his. "I'm safer with you than I have ever been without you, and no amount of common sense or rational argument is going to change my mind about that." Her lips quirked into a soft smile as she stroked her thumb over his. "And do you honestly think Lynnie would ever forgive me if I let you go now?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Piper," he replied, lifting his eyes to her again. "Maybe it's selfish, but I love you too much. I told you there was nothing left for me back home, and I meant it. And now..." He shrugged. "I'm dead, I suppose. Or missing. I don't know. It doesn't matter. No one will miss me. No one will care." The only person who might have cared was already dead and buried. He had no friends, just colleagues; no family left but those who lived here. "My life is here now, with you and Lyneth. Nothing is going to change that. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and worrying that someone is going to finish the job."

"Well ....there's no reason why you can't continue with your work here," Piper offered gently. "The portals are always open, and obviously the Watch know about some of the things that happen on your Earth, since they want to talk to you about it. Perhaps someone in that district could point you in the right direction." She leaned down, kissing him lovingly. "I want you to be comfortable, happy, here. And I know your work means a great deal to you, love. I don't want to get in the way of that."

He returned her kiss, but she still wasn't quite understanding him. It wasn't his job that made him happy, not anymore. It was her. He lifted a hand to touch her cheek as their lips parted, frowning seriously, needing her to understand. "I am happy, Piper. I'm happy here with you and Lyneth. Why do you think I was giving all that up" But I have to be sure nothing is going to ruin that happiness. And I have to figure out where to go from here."

"But you're not made to be a stay-at-home dad and live-in-lover," she pointed out with a faint smile. "As amusing as the image of you vacuuming the front room in nothing but skimpy briefs is, it just isn't you." She smiled once more, tweaking the end of his nose with the pad of her thumb. "I'm going to ask you, right now, to make your health the priority here. Because none of it means anything if you relapse."

He smiled finally, having a hard time not cracking a smile at that image and at her teasing. "Oh, I don't know. Lyneth and I did a pretty good job of baking, but vacuuming" I think Oisin might be offended if I took that job off his hands." It was the first real smile since he'd awoken from his drug-induced stupor. "I'm not going to do anything stupid, Piper. I promise. I'm just going to talk to the Watch and find out what?s going on. An exchange of information. That's all."

"Good," she told him through her smile, glad to finally see that real smile on his face. "And Lyneth has a present for you. She was planning to give it to you on Thursday, but what with one thing and another, it's just a little late, that's all. Which reminds me, I have to swing by the house and find it before I pick her up from school."

The mention of Lyneth made him frown a little again, more worried about her than himself. He was an adult, after all, but she was....He wasn't quite sure what she was, but he was starting to think of her as the daughter of his heart. "I, uh..." He remembered one of his last conversations with Lyneth before he'd gone home, before he'd been hurt, before she'd found him left to bleed to death in a dark and lonely alley. Despite his bravado, he had to stifle a shudder at the memory of it. "I asked if I could adopt her."

He knew he probably should have discussed it with Piper first, but the subject had come up in conversation before he'd had a chance.

The frown on his face brought a worried look into Piper's eyes for a long moment before he managed to speak. The expression melted away into a warm smile then. "I know," she told him tenderly. "She told me all about being "ay-dropped", and a little about being a bridesmaid." Her brow rose as she mentioned this particular little comment, but she didn't go further with it. "I don't mind," she hurried to reassure him. "It would have been nice to have had a little warning before Lynnie dropped it on me, but I'm glad you want to make her yours officially. She deserves to have a real father, and I can't think of anyone better suited to that role than you, love."

"I'm sorry," he found himself apologizing again, despite her reaction or because of it. "I should have asked first, but....She seemed to need it, and..." He shrugged again, at a loss for words to explain. When was Desmond ever at a loss for words" "I couldn't love her more if she was mine, Piper. I just....I'm not trying to take anyone else's place. I just want us to be a family." He looked at her with that same look he'd given Lyneth, a little bit lost and lonely, despite his attempts to hide his feelings behind a facade of surety and self-confidence.

"Miranda brought me here to meet my family. She thought it would be good for me after my mom..." He broke off for a moment, leaving the obvious unspoken. "I've found so much more than family here, Piper." He tangled his fingers with hers, needing that simple touch, needing to know she was there with him and always would be. "I know it's too soon to ask. I know you need some time, and I promised I'd give you that time, but I want you to be my wife, Piper. I want us to be a real family."

Both her hands tangled around his one, folding his fingers and palm into her grasp tenderly as she smiled once again. "You won't be taking anyone's place, love," she assured him. "She knows the difference between her real father and you, even the difference between Ollie and you. You always come out on top. And don't forget, she was the one who brought up the subject of you becoming her father when we first started seeing each other." Her heart melted at the sight of the little boy lost in his eyes, wishing she could take it away. "I do need a little more time," she agreed softly. "But that's all I need. I already know that I want to be your wife, I want you to be Lynnie's father. We're already a family; we just need to make it official."

He would have kissed her then and there, if only he could manage to lift his head from the pillow, but he'd tried once already and it had only made him feel dizzy and faint. A smile touched his lips, as her fingers curled around his and she gave him the answer he wanted. He knew she needed time - a broken heart doesn't heal overnight - but but he felt more hopeful about the prospect of them becoming a real family than ever before. He wondered if he should tell her about his dream - about what he thought he'd seen and heard while he was hanging between life and death, but he wasn't sure it was necessary; he wasn't sure it mattered. "I love you, Piper," he told her yet again. Though only three words, that love was expressed in his eyes, his voice, his smile. He was confident everything else would work out one way or another, so long as they were together.

((Crisis averted! For now, at least. :grin: So ends the Granger Valentine's Day disaster. What next' As always, mega thanks to Des' player. Awesome!))