Topic: Calling All Grangers

Caroline Granger

Date: 2011-07-18 12:00 EST
The mages had been at work for several weeks now, intent upon the goal set for them by the CEO of GrangerGuild. And finally, after many failed tests and inappropriate explosions, they had completed their work. Not a moment too soon, and some would say, far too late to help those who should still have been with them.

On that day, couriers were sent out, each bearing a small package. Each one was tasked with locating a single Granger, and bound to hand over their package directly into the hands of that Granger. They were not to return for payment until their mark had been found and their package delivered.

Within each package were a trio of oddly mismatched objects. A roll of copper coins, deliberately stamped with a prominent GG on each face; a single gold ring, set with a dark stone; and a small recording device, with every button but Play and Rewind helpfully sabotaged.

Upon pressing Play, the familiar voice of Caroline Granger made itself known.

"Is this thing on' Really, it's so quiet ....Oh! Yes, uh, hello.

"What you have in front of you is a small safety net for everyone of Granger blood and their spouses or significant others. This is what the mages in R&D have been working on for weeks. Do not lose the ring, and do not spend the coppers. Trust me on this, it's important. These are for your safety, given that the whole world and his friend seems to want to kill us off or make slaves out of us.

"The ring is imbued with a locator device and communicator. Press the stone inward to activate the tracker, and help will be sent to you within minutes. Breathe on the gold band to initiate communication, but only in an emergency. The rings as they currently are won't hold up to people using them instead of their cell phones.

"The coppers are simpler. You'll notice they're stamped with the Guild emblem - they are not small change. If you're cornered or need a fast escape - and this does not include from ex-girlfriends, -boyfriends, or school bullies - snap one of them. It'll break easily. Each copper contains a teleportation spell that will whisk the one holding the pieces out of danger and back to the big house at Maple Grove, where security has been routinely increased yet again.

"So we're clear? Rings for tracking and communication; coppers for a quick getaway. And this means that those bodyguards that everyone has been complaining about can go back to their day jobs and quit trying to shadow folks who keep trying to shake them off.

"So, yeah ....that's all I've got for you right now. Please keep the ring and coppers on your person at all times. We don't want to lose anyone else. be safe, guys."