Elle had heard a little about Jon's so-called past issues, but that wasn't what this was about. This was about Dom. She narrowed her eyes at him, as he attempted to turn the tables around on her. "Me" Why would I be scared when I have you here to protect me?" she asked.

"Exactly." He chuckled, tapping the tip of her nose gently. "So let's go and laugh at Vicki trying to crawl into Jon's harem pants every time a floorboard creaks."

"Are you sure?" she asked, eying him carefully, and giving him a last chance to beg out, if he really wanted to. "I can pretend to have a headache if you want."

"I'm sure." After all, he would have found a way to beg out before the plan was ever fully laid if he really wanted to avoid this. There was a certain exhilaration to letting yourself be scared. He winked at his wife. "Don't be such a worrywart."

"Okay, I hope you wore your Depends," she teased, that smile back on her face. She didn't really expect him to scream like a girl or wet his pants, but she couldn't help teasing him a little. "Just remember ....No matter what happens in there, you'll always be my hero," she said, with a kiss to his lips.

"Have to protect my princess, right?" he murmured back, drawing her over to where Jon and Vicki were waiting patiently for them. He offered his cousin a reassuring nod. "Good to go?"

Jon tossed his cousin a questioning glance as if to ask if everything was okay. "I am if you are," he replied. He wasn't anymore crazy about so-called monsters than Dom was, but at least he'd had a few lessons in how to deal with them.

Dom was definitely brazening it out at this point, but he wasn't going to back down. "After you," he said, gesturing for Jon to lead the way. Vicki snorted with laughter, rolling her eyes at the manly posturing.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Elle said, losing her patience with both of the men. "If you two are too chicken to join us, Vicki and I will go alone," she said, letting go of Dom's arm and grabbing hold of Vicki to drag her in the direction of the entrance.

The two men were left with a view of their wives marching toward the door, the redhead cackling like a small child who had just been given the candy stash. Dom looked at Jon. "Well, that just can't be allowed to happen, can it?"

"Are we supposed to go after them?" Jon asked, looking more than a little befuddled by what had just happened. Vicki hadn't seemed to mind him being replaced by Elle. If anything, she seemed to find it hilarious.

"It's that, or spend the rest of our lives being teased for letting the women face certain death alone," Dom pointed out, giving his cousin a tug. "C'mon, we've got this."

Jon winced. He knew there shouldn't be anything truly dangerous awaiting them inside the house. It was all in good fun, and he had to admit, there was a certain appeal that came with the adrenaline rush of being scared out of your wits. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" he said, following Dom in pursuit of their wives.

They caught up just as the ladies reached the porch, Dom reclaiming Elle's hand with a flourish as the door was opened for them to enter. "Reverse psychology will always work on me, dear."

"Good to know," Elle said, grinning as he reclaimed her hand. She adored him to pieces, but her patience was at an end. She knew the anticipation was probably far worse than what they were actually going to be facing. "Don't worry, darling. I'll protect you," she whispered back.

"You are about to learn why I will never do anything like this with the children," he murmured into her ear. At least he knew himself that well. As they passed into the first room, they were given just a moment to understand the layout before the lights cut, and the room was filled with the sound of desolate moans.

"Think anyone would notice if we had a quickie?" Vicki's voice cut through the unsettling sounds with perfect timing.

"Yes!" Elle replied, as if on cue. "Watch out for the black lights, love!" she warned her friend. She had watched her fair share of crime dramas to know that UV light would make certain substances that were otherwise invisible to the human eye visible.

"Sounds either like a roomful of hormonal teenagers or a bunch of ghouls," Jon remarked.

"There's a difference?" Dom asked. His chuckle, however, died a swift and manful death as a pale-faced nun with black eyes suddenly lurched out of the gloom toward them, and the tall, handsome adventurer let out a squeak of terror and fell over his own feet backwards trying to get away.

Elle couldn't help but cackle with laughter as the nun lurched at them and Dom tripped over his own two feet. She almost went down with him, but managed to somehow stay upright, tugging on his arm to pull him onto his feet. "Come on, Shaggy ....You don't want to get trampled," she told him, though he was clearly dressed up as a Jedi and not a member of the Scooby-Do Gang.

"Oh, this is going to be good," Vicki snickered behind them as Dom pulled himself back upright, straightening his robes with an abashed smile.

"Make sure we stay together!" Jon warned from the front, where he and Vicki were taking the lead. There wasn't much chance of them being separated anyway, but he didn't know that.

A ghoulish laugh reached out to them from the next room, and Elle was the only one who heard Dom squeak again before he got hold of himself with a laugh. "Think if I run through, it'll spoil the show?"

Elle chuckled. "You are not abandoning me, Dominic. You had your chance to back out," she warned him. "Come on. It'll be fun!" she told him, tugging him toward the ghoulish laughter, despite all her instincts telling her to run the other way. An almost girlish shriek was heard just ahead of them, but she wasn't sure if it was Jon or Vicki who had screamed.

She might have thought otherwise by the time they were halfway through, at which point Dom was holding his wife in front of him like a human shield while giggling hysterically at his own terror. He hadn't been wrong when he'd told her she would enjoy doing this with him.

As promised, Elle did her best to protect him, though they both knew there was really nothing to fear. That was what made the haunted house so much fun - that they could get the bejeebers scared out of them but never really be in any danger.

There was something inherently delightful about seeing a big, strong man reduced to a giggling wreck in the face of a small girl with hair hanging over her face. It didn't help that they could hear Jon and Vicki reacting to whatever was ahead of them - if anything, it made Dom's reactions worse; or better, depending on your viewpoint.

John was only doing fractionally better than his cousin, clinging like a baby to Vicki the whole time. In truth, it was the claustrophobia that was bothering him more than anything, but he was determined to get through it and prove to himself that he could conquer his fears. Behind them, Elle's laughter mingled with Dom's shrieks and the moans and groans from the so-called monsters that were trying to frighten them. She kept a firm hold on Dom's hand as she led him through the various frights, each one more outrageous than the last.

It was the clowns in the second to last room that did it for Dom, though. As soon as the maniacal laughter started, he took initiative. "Nope, nope, nope, nope!" Seizing Elle's hand, he accelerated into the next room, only to let out a wild scream as one of the actors yeeted a slimy doll's head right at him.

Even Elle shrieked, but not because of the clowns or the slimy doll's head so much as the fact that she was being forcibly tugged after Dom as he made a hasty exit from the clowns.

Catching up did mean that their fright night photo was a group shot, even if Dom was a one-man-escape-plan at that point. Jon was given no choice but to follow as his cousin physically picked him up on the way past, eyes fixed on the exit.

Elle couldn't help but laugh as she was tugged along behind, shouting a warning as Dom just about plowed his way through until they reached the exit. "Clowns?" she asked as they suddenly found themselves back outside. "You're afraid of clowns, of all things?" she said, laughing.

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid of clowns!" her husband defended himself, putting Jon back on his feet gently as he turned to face Elle. "It's an established phobia!"

Jon had screamed in terror the entire way out of the house, until they were outside and he'd realized it was Dom who'd kidnapped him. "What the hell, man! I thought you were one of those clowns!" he told his cousin as he adjusted his vest. "Has anyone seen Vicki?" he asked, as he looked around for his wife.

"It's not like it was Pennywise!" Elle argued with her husband. "She was right behind me," she told Jon, turning to follow his gaze.

The sudden guilt on Dom's face for abandoning his cousin's wife was only matched by the last truly ear-splitting shriek he released as the redhead in question grabbed him from behind. "Serves you right for leaving me to the mercies of the creepy dolls!"

Jon laughed as he turned back to see the look on Dom's face as Vicki goosed him. It was even a far better form of revenge than anything Jon might have delivered.

"Those were creepy," Elle agreed, admitting to being at least a little freaked out by something they'd seen in there.

"Never mind," Jon mumbled, relieved they'd dropped the subject, at least for now. Maybe after a few drinks, he'd be more willing to discuss it. "I owe you for that," he murmured to Vicki as they followed Dom and Elle inside.

"All you have to do is admit to being pregnant for a day, love," the redhead teased him in return. "Elle still doesn't believe it happened."

"I wouldn't believe it either, if it hadn't happened to me," Jon replied. "Besides, it doesn't really matter what Elle believes. We both know what happened, and that's all that matters."

"And I reserve the right to tease you mercilessly about it until we're old and gray," Vicki answered sweetly, squeezing his hand as she followed Dom and Elle toward the table they had decided to claim.

Jon sighed. "Embarrass me, you mean," he corrected. He wasn't normally very touchy about being teased, but it depended on who he was being teased in front of and what he was being teased about.

"Yes," she agreed, twisting to pull him into a kiss before she sat down. "Because you are an adorable grump, and we both love make up sex."

Jon rolled his eyes, but didn't resist that kiss. "You don't have to make me grumpy in order to have sex with me!" he pointed out. He was all too willing already.

"It is my role in life to make you take yourself less seriously, you know this," she pointed out laughingly, dropping down onto the bench to scoot along for him.

He smiled, realizing the truth of that statement. "And what is my role in life?" he asked, as he plunked down beside her.

"To worship and adore me, of course," she answered impishly.

"Oh, good gods, are you two at it again?" Dom complained good-naturedly, already opening the menu so Elle could decide what she truly wanted to eat.

"I think I do that already," Jon murmured, as he grabbed a menu for himself and Vicki. "At what?" he asked, glancing over at Dom as he opened the menu.

"The gooey, mushy stuff," Dom chuckled. "You're both a little under-dressed to tease each other too much in public."

Jon laughed at his cousin's statement. "Is that a challenge?" he asked, a smirk on his face. Never let it be said that Jon and Vicki didn't have a healthy, active sex life.

"I'll have you know this man almost let me ride him at a public disco," Vicki informed the other couple with a wicked cast to her grin. "And you think this isn't restrained?"

"I think you're both behaving brilliantly," Elle declared with a grin of her own. "Maybe we should go to a disco sometime, Dom," she said, waggling her brows at her husband.

"You just want me to dress up like a BeeGee," he accused his wife fondly, sticking his tongue out at her. "Which I will do, if you are a full on Go-Go dancer."

Across the table, Vicki chuckled. "I've got a costume you can borrow for that, Elle."

"I think you have your decades a little crossed, Dom. Go-Go Dancers were well before disco," Elle informed him helpfully. "But I wouldn't mind dressing up as one, if it makes you happy," she added with a grin and a wink at Vicki.

"Disco wasn't the 60's?" Dom looked genuinely surprised by this, but there was a certain tinge of pleased to the smile as he realized Elle was up for a little dress up on his behalf.

"No, darling," she confirmed. "I'm not afraid of mini-skirts and go-go boots, but I'm not so sure you'll feel the same about wearing a leisure suit," she teased.

"What, you mean like that bright green monstrosity Jack wore a few times before Dru shaved him?" he asked, tilting his head. "You don't think I could pull that off with panache and elan?"

Elle seemed to think about that a moment, tapping a finger against her chin as she regarded him before replying with a simple blunt, "No."

As Vicki exploded into laughter, rising from her seat to go and order at the bar, Dom laid a hand over his heart, feigning offense. "I'm hurt," he declared. "Have you no faith in me, minx?"

"Darling, I'm not sure John Travolta even pulled that look off with panache and elan," Elle clarified, as her fingers traced his cheek.

"This is where I came in," Jon murmured, as he rose from his seat to catch up to Vicki, so as not to be the third wheel.

Dom snorted with laughter. "I think we scared off our hosts," he said, though he didn't so much as lean away from Elle. Instead, he laid his arm over the back of the bench, fingertips teasing the earlobe he couldn't see just because he knew it tickled.

"They'll live," she said, giggling a little and batting at his hand as he tickled her. "If you really want to dress the part, I'm sure we can find something that would look good on you."

"If you put me in a mankini, I will tie you up with it," he growled against her ear, dipping his head to press a kiss to her neck. "Although that does sound kind of fun."

"That's not much of a threat," she laughed, turning her head so that he had better access to her neck and sliding closer, one hand giving his thigh a squeeze. "Are you sure you're not ready to go home yet?"

He snorted with laughter. "I'm not taking you home until you've had something to eat," he told her, tapping her lightly on the nose. "Because there won't be any time for snacks when we do get home, missus."

"Planning on having your way with me, are you?" she teased, her hand sliding up his thigh just a little bit farther. Or maybe she'd have her way with him.

His fingers closed around hers before she could take her teasing too far in a public place, his lips curving in a fond smirk as he lifted her hand to his mouth. "I seem to recall you like a bit of ravishing every now and then."

"As long as it's you doing the ravishing," she said, leaning close enough to kiss him, but only batting her lashes instead. "So, what are we ordering, husband?"

He grinned at her. "I think Vicki may have overheard the fish and chips conversation," he admitted, "but she knows what you like to drink, so I think we're good on the alcohol front."

Elle knew she could trust Vicki to have her back. "Sex on the Beach' Slow Comfortable Screw?" she suggested, naming just a few drinks with suggestive names, though they weren't her favorites.

"Screaming Orgasm?" he countered playfully, winking at her. "You, Mrs. Granger, are a terrible tease." And that was part of what he loved about her, but he wasn't going to admit it out loud just yet.

"My favorite," she replied, grinning. "I still like the sound of that - Mrs. Granger," she said, touching her nose to his. "I do love you very much, Mr. Granger," she told him quietly.

"Professor," he corrected her teasingly, gently resting his forehead to hers. "The feeling is entirely mutual, you know. I don't scream like a little girl while rescuing just anyone from clowns."

"Is that what you were doing?" she asked, an amused smirk on her face. "And here, I thought I was rescuing you."

"We were rescuing Jon together," he compromised with a grin. "He is, of course, the delicate flower in this foursome."

"Oh, of course," Elle agreed, unable to hide the smirk of amusement from her face. In truth, they all had their fair share of phobias, and she was no better than the rest of them, but she didn't say so.

"Who's a delicate flower?" a familiar voice interjected as Vicki returned with Jon in tow, setting a fabulously colorful cocktail down in front of Elle for her enjoyment.

"Dom is," Elle replied without missing a beat. "Oh! What's this?" she asked, eying the colorful cocktail in front of her.

"It's a Bird of Paradise," Vicki told her with a grin, taking a sip from her own violently blue and purple cocktail. Dom had, of course, been bought a whiskey sour, for which he was eternally grateful. Colourful drinks with umbrellas were not his thing.

"Is it safe to sit down?" Jon asked, looking from Dom to Elle and back. It wasn't like he was a prude - far from it, in fact - but he didn't want to watch while Dom and Elle drooled over each other either.

"I made her put her hands back in the realm of public consumption, yes," Dom said cheerfully, raising his glass with a nod to his cousin. "We are capable of spending an evening with you guys without putting on a show, you know."

"You do have a ridiculously large family," Elle said, as she took up another forkful of fish, this time offering it to Dom. "There are a lot of us," Jon agreed.

"Mmm, yup," Dom managed with his mouthful. "Okay, I don't know what the British do to fish batter, but it is ....divine."

"But we're not in Britain, love," Elle reminded him. Then again, it did taste authentic. "The cook must be English," she said, decidedly.

"Could be Welsh or Scots too," Vicki pointed out. "Oooh, beer batter the Scots way ....haven't had that for a long time."

"No, neither have I," Elle said.

"What's the difference?" Jon asked, not being of British descent. He was Rhy'Din born and bred, and though he'd spent a few years on Earth, he didn't remember them.

"Well, the style I had, they used stout instead of beer, and seasoned it with whisky," Vicki said. "Didn't really work on the cod or the haddock, but the plaice ....Gods, it was orgasmic."

Jon laughed. "Everything is orgasmic with you," he remarked, bumping her shoulder, an amused look on his face.

"I don't think so, Jon-Boy," Elle interjected. "There is a definite difference between delicious and orgasmic."

"Oh, do tell," Dom said, looking at his own wife with a challenging grin. "Describe to us the difference between merely delicious and definitely orgasmic when it comes to food."

"Very well," Elle said, turning to face her husband, looking more than up for the challenge. "For example, there is chocolate and then there is chocolate. It's like the difference between a chocolate bar and a truffle. While a chocolate bar is pleasant, a truffle is a orgasm for your mouth."

"But real truffles are sort of dusty and dry," Dom pointed out impishly. "I'm fairly sure that is not how you would describe a real orgasm, darling."

"I am not talking about mushrooms, Dominic!" Elle declared with a huff of breath. "Very well. How about the difference between an ice cream cone and a banana split' Better?"

He let out a particularly dirty laugh, hurriedly filling his mouth with chips to avoid having to answer that one with the thoughts in his head.

"You two aren't fit to be out in public sometimes," Vicki accused them affectionately.

"Oh, he is just trying to wind me up, Vicki," Elle said, turning away from Dom and taking her fish and chips with her. She wasn't really angry at him, but it was fun to let him think she was.

"He wouldn't do it if you didn't rise to the bait so adorably every single time, Betsy," Vicki pointed out in amusement. She didn't need to look at Dom to know she was absolutely right.

"Just whose side are you on, Torie?" Elle asked, eying her bestie with a raised brow.

"You know me, I don't pick sides," was the flippant response. "I go where it's funniest."

"I thought we girls stuck together," Elle murmured. "But I'll forgive you since you called me adorable," she was quick to add. "You, we'll see," she said, eying Dom, though from the gleam in her eyes, she was clearly not angry at either of them.

"I'll make it up to you," Dom promised with a playful smile, drawing his fingertips along her bare spine with a teasing touch.

"Well, you are adorable," Vicki said. "Your pout is stunning."

"Likewise," Elle said, batting her lashes at Vicki, almost as if she was flirting with her. "As for you," she said, turning to Dom and taking hold of his shirtfront to pull him close. "I will deal with you later," she said, sealing that promise with a kiss.

Dom chuckled into that kiss, knowing perfectly well that dealing just meant he was going to spend a certain amount of time in his favourite place on this planet when they got home. He had a feeling his visits there were a close tie for favourite for her, too.

Unless she decided to switch things up on him, in which case he might be in his second favorite place, but all of that was just between the two of them.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you two were flirting," Jon said, of Vicki and Elle.

"Oh, stud muffin, every married woman and her best friend are just two divorces shy of a civil union, didn't you know that?" Vicki teased her husband, curling her arm about his back to snuggle into his side.

"Uh, no?" Jon said. From the look on his face, he was clearly unsure if his wife was serious or just pulling his leg.

The redhead smiled at him. "You really are ridiculously easy to tease, Jonny," she reminded him affectionately, tilting her head up to kiss his cheek. Her lips brushed his ear. "You had me at seven years old, don't get insecure on me now."

That kiss along with her whisper was doing things to him that really shouldn't be happening in the middle of a pub. "Do you think Kaylee would be willing to keep the kids overnight?" he murmured, into her ear.

"Hello!" Elle called from across the table. "Rhy'Din to Jon and Vicki! You are not alone!"

"I'm allowed to whisper in my husband's ear," Vicki defended herself from her friend. "At least I wasn't trying to feel him up under the table, unlike someone here." She stuck her tongue out at her friend laughingly before glancing back to Jon. "She's got them until tomorrow, love."

"Oh, good," Jon grinned. He either missed that somehow or forgotten. "We can get out the toys."

Elle groaned and rolled her eyes, even if she and Dom were just as bad. "Too much information," she murmured.

"What?" Vicki said innocently. "You don't like playing with Legos as a form of foreplay?"

Dom choked on his drink, spluttering as whiskey burned down the wrong tube.

Elle reached over to pat Dom's back, without missing a beat. "No, love ....We are adults," she told her friend with a cheeky grin, alluding to the fact that if they did play with toys, they were definitely not Legos.

"Sorry ..." Dom gasped for breath, trying not to cough and laugh at the same time. "Just thinking about ....sharp corners ..."

"You don't want to step on those with bare feet," Elle said, in agreement.

"We don't play with Legos," Jon muttered. "And you two can stop pretending to be so virtuous. We know you, remember?"

"Wasn't thinking about feet," Dom snickered, taking in a deep breath to try and calm down.

Vicki rolled her eyes. "Your husband has a dirty mind, Betsy."

"You're not getting anywhere near my vajajay with a Lego, Dominic, so you can just put that out of your mind right now," Elle warned. Who had a dirty mind" This time it was Jon's turn to spew his drink.

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of a Toad doll from Mario," Dom countered his wife sweetly, sending Vicki into a quiet cackle of laughter as she turned her attention to soothing her own husband's moment of choking hilarity.

Elle said nothing and just gave him "the look" - the one that wives always gave their husbands to silently tell them they were pushing their luck.

He obediently smiled and kissed her temple. "Eat your fish, love," he suggested, popping another chip into his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Jon said, once he, too, caught his breath. "It's just too funny."

Elle seemed to relax, reaching over to steal one of Dom's chips even though she had a whole plate of her own.

"You know, this is probably why Des and Piper don't join our outings very often," Vicki mused with a grin. "They have much better manners than we do."

"Piper is a peach," Elle remarked. "She's also royalty or something, isn't she?" she asked, as she turned her attention to finishing up her fish and chips.

"Lady, I think," Dom said, reaching across the table to dip his chip into Jon's hickory sauce. "Isn't her father a duke or something?"

"An earl," Vicki corrected mildly. "She's the second daughter, though, so she'll only ever be Lady Piper and it doesn't move past her in the bloodline."