"No," he said, straightening from his coffee, almost like a boy who was being scolded by a parent. He was a man, not a child, and he needed to act like one. They'd had a similar conversation to this one once before, but nothing much had really changed, and he was starting to feel the pressure of having too many irons in the fire, so to speak. "You know how much I love the theater. The theater is my life, but with twins on the way, I'm not sure I'm going to have the time or the energy to juggle it all anymore." At least, until the kids grew up a little. It wasn't fair to leave Vicki solely in charge of four children while he spent all his time at the theater, after all. Oh, they could have hired a nanny, but neither of them wanted their children raised by someone else, and it wasn't like he needed the money.

"For a couple of years, that's true enough," Mataya nodded, agreeing with him. "You're going to have your hands full, and something's got to give. So tell me what you need, what you want to do, before I start making decisions about your career for you."

"Well ..." he started, rubbing a thumb against his coffee cup, encouraged by her reaction to this bit of news. "I want to stay involved. You know how much the theater means to me. I'm not walking out on you, but I think I may need to cut back a little for a few years. Take on a less demanding role."

The hesitant way he was edging toward the meat of the conversation was funny, yes, but it could get annoying. He was given a brief reprieve as Oscar's lunch arrived - a plain turkey sandwich and chips - followed swiftly by their own, but Mataya wasn't going to let him um and ah for much longer. "A guest spot on the roster, then?" she suggested mildly. "I'm not letting you back out of STARS - you can have the autumn semester off, but from January on, you're still it, dude."

As well as he knew her, he blinked in shock as she quickly and astutely took charge, not beating around the bush as she drove to the heart of the matter. "Well, no ....I really like teaching, and I don't want to give that up, but I'm not sure I want to be the lead anymore. I've been thinking about directing, but I don't think I'm going to have time to do that full-time either."

"Well, Ludo would probably love to have you as an assistant," she told him. "Keeping on top of both companies is proving to be a bit of a strain for him after six years, so having someone around who can take on some of that - even if it's only the Rep - would probably prolong his career by a few years. If you're interested, that is. Again, not something I'd push on you until you're ready. Directing is a big job - lots of coordinating with the other departments in the theater."

"I know. I got a taste of it with Rhy'Din Nights," he reminded her. "I'm not ready to retire yet. I'm too young to retire, and I'd miss it, but I just think it would be better if I eased off a little, at least until the kids are a little older. Maybe helping Ludo or taking an occasional guest role, just to keep my feet wet. Besides, how will the others ever develop as actors if I'm always getting the best parts?" he added further. "Maybe it's time to let someone else step up to the plate for a while. I'm not going anywhere, 'Tay. I just think my experience might be better used elsewhere, and frankly, we're gonna have our hands full when the twins come, and I don't want to be one of those fathers who's never home." He wasn't asking to retire entirely and become a stay-at-home father, like Max; just to ease back a little to give him more time to spend with his family.

She watched him as he spoke, aware of the way he was trying to apologize for his decision without coming out and actually saying the words. "Jon, did you really think I'd say no?" she asked him gently. "Of course you need to step back for a while. You're going to have four children under five years old. No one can split their time between that kind of loving chaos and the theater without getting so stretched people start to see daylight through them. I'll miss you being around the theater so often, of course I will. But I'm not a gorgon. I understand your decision, and Vicki's. Just because it's not a decision that I could make for myself, it doesn't mean I'm going to prevent you from taking that decision for yourself."

Though their situations were a little different, he didn't want to argue with her about it, relieved she'd agreed that he needed to make some changes. Now, it was just sorting out what those changes should be. "What do you think I should do?" he asked. After all, she was not only his best friend, but his boss, as well.

"I think you need to take the time off when Vicki does," Mataya told him bluntly, one hand passing chips one at a time to her son as she manhandled her own sandwich in the other. "She goes on maternity leave the second her obligation finishes at the end of August, and - barring attending the auditions as a part of the casting team - you should do the same. I won't expect you back until at least January, because you're going to have a lot of adjusting to do, and you're going to be exhausted. So ....we can talk about just what role you want to play in the theater in January, and for now, just know that there is a place for you, whenever you want it."

"After Lear," he said, knowing that was the last play the Rep was performing before they broke for auditions. "I won't be auditioning then," he said, with a small ache in his heart. He'd miss performing; he'd miss the excitement and the applause, but there were other more important things to consider right now, and children didn't stay little forever. "I've been thinking about something else, too," he said, between bites of his sandwich. "What would you think about me becoming a sort of silent partner?" Or maybe not so silent. That depended on her.

"After Lear, of course," she agreed with a smile. A whine from Oscar caught her attention. "What is it, kiddo' Is it hurting to chew again?"

The little boy nodded mournfully, half his sandwich left on his plate as he wriggled out of his seat to curl up in Mataya's lap.

"Drink your juice, see if that helps a little bit," she suggested, wrapping one arm about her son as she raised her eyes to Jon once again, considering his suggestion. "Jon, that's a big investment," she warned him. "I mean, we have a good fund from the sponsors, but a safety net wouldn't go amiss. Are you sure you'd want to shoulder that responsibility?"

"'Tay, do you know how much they paid me to flaunt my ass as Grey' Do you know how much it amounts to in crowns" Believe me, I can afford it, and it's a good investment," he told her, gaze shifting to the little boy on her lap with another frown, wondering if this was the right time or place for this conversation. Was he being a selfish ass in having asked her here today' But then, she could just as easily have rescheduled. His gaze ticked back to her, coming straight to the point. "What I'm proposing is becoming a business partner, as well as getting more involved behind the scenes, as opposed to on stage."

She could have rescheduled, naturally, but Oscar wasn't actually in distress. He was sore and tired and a little bit feverish, but being near Mama was always a good thing, especially after he'd had his daddy all to himself all night, too. "That's a big commitment, too, you know," she pointed out to Jon. "I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to do it. I'm just saying ....maybe you should think about phasing that part in over time. Between teaching, directing, and acting - however occasionally it happens - you might have plenty to fill your time along with your family. Don't overload yourself when you're trying to step back a little."

"That makes sense, but just know the offer is out there. You don't have to shoulder the burden alone, even if I'm just a silent partner. I'm talking money here, 'Tay. Finance. This isn't about charity. The theater is a good investment." He and Vicki gave more than their fair share to charity, even if it was done quietly and sometimes even anonymously.

"All right, let's lay this out, then." Wiping her hands clean, Mataya absentmindedly tucked Oscar close, rocking him as she spoke. "The only commitment I expect you to hold to from January is STARS. When you're ready to, we can phase in the directing and the occasional guest spot, and we'll hold that for a year or so. If, once the twins are mobile and both Emily and Ben are in school, you think you can handle a little more, we'll talk about getting you a crash course in theater running 101. How does that sound?"

"We both know that most actors would give both their eye teeth to play a death scene," he said. As for him, he'd rather play a death scene than a love scene any day of the week, despite his reputation for being a romantic lead. Love scenes tended to be awkward, but thankfully the theater didn't usually require anything too explicit.

"Exactly," she chuckled. "Although some love scenes are more fun than death scenes. Titania and Oberon spring to mind - every single scene with them is a love scene, but they bicker wonderfully." She grinned at her friend; they'd played those roles opposite one another before he'd come to Rhy'Din, and even if he couldn't remember it, he could easily imagine how that experience had gone with his best friend playing opposite him.

They had reprized those roles just one year ago on the Shanachie stage, as well, though for Jon, it felt like the first time he'd tackled the role. "That was fun," he replied with a grin, remembering that particular play with fondness. They'd had a great cast, too. It had been one of his favorites, but then it was common knowledge that he had a fondness for Shakespeare.

"You know, I still have no idea what I did to Kruger during that run," she reflected in amusement. "I have never seen that man blush so hard as he did every night when we got off-stage after that scene. I'm pretty sure he would have put blinkers on that ass' head if we'd let him."

"He's afraid of you," Jon explained with a grin, though maybe that wasn't quite the word for it. "You're more intimidating than you think, 'Tay. Maybe he just needs to get to know you better," he suggested. As well as he knew her, even he had been a little trepidatious about asking for a change.

"I'm not scary!" she protested, half-appalled and half-laughing at this assessment of her. "Seriously, I'm not, am I" Is that why people always look like they want to run away when they're telling me things they think I don't want to hear" Even your Vicki looked uncomfortable, and she's impossible to frighten."

"Well, as far as Vicki and I are concerned, we just don't want to disappoint you, but I can't speak for the rest of them. Think about it though, 'Tay. How did you feel about those in charge when you were just starting out?" he asked, asking her to put herself in the others' shoes, especially those who were new to the theater. "By the way, have you been to see Starlight yet' They're fantastic!"

"I've always been a cocky little cow," she pointed out, "that kind of analogy doesn't really work on me. But I get what you're saying. So how do I make myself more approachable" I don't want my people to be scared of talking to me, Jon. I want to be able to help them if they need it." His change of subject, however, made her light up with a grin. "Aren't they' Seren dragged me along to their first performance, but I haven't been back yet. We were gonna take Oscar and Juno, but that's on hold until the little man isn't deaf in one ear."

"Maybe we should go together. Make a day of it." The theater troupe was playing for another month yet, so there was no rush really. "Have any of them talked about auditioning?" he asked curiously, waving the waiter over to refill their cups.

Giggling softly, Mataya shifted her position, cuddling Oscar a little more comfortably on her lap, wrapped up in his blankie. "I'm not supposed to know about that," she told her friend, but it was obvious that she knew something. "I'm not supposed to even think about filching people from other acts, you know that." Her grin widened. "A certain photographer did suggest that her fiance might be thinking about auditioning, though."

"Oh?" Jon said, arching a brow. He hadn't really gotten to know any of the actors from the troupe yet, but he had met Seren Lowell, as Mataya had often hired her to do photo sessions for the Shanachie. It was her photographs that were most often used on the posters and billboards that went up across town advertising the various productions. "I didn't know Seren was getting married."

"It's all very sudden and new, but she's pretty determined," she told him cheerfully. "Between you and me, I don't think she's entirely human. She's got that edge you see sometimes here. But yeah, she's engaged to one of the actors from the Starlight - Dorian, I think his name is. Looks a hell of a lot like Neville Ashton."

Jon's left brow ticked upwards at that news, though he wouldn't be too terribly surprised to learn that Mataya's suspicions were right. After all, it was Rhy'Din. He had a few prejudices of his own, but they were mostly against vampires and slavers and others who took advantage of those who were weaker than themselves. "Neville ....He plays cello, doesn't he?" Jon asked curiously.

"Yeah, he's been with us for a few years now," Mataya confirmed. "His wife was killed in one of the Marketplace explosions at the end of 2014, but I have reason to believe he's found someone new." Her smile was incredibly pleased as she passed on this piece of information. "He hasn't quite forgiven me for tricking him into accepting a raise yet, though."

"What did you do?" Jon asked, taking a comfortable lean in his chair and crossing one leg over the other as he took a sip of his freshly refilled coffee. He knew Mataya well enough to take a guess at what she might have done, but he had to ask.

She grinned impishly. "He, uh, he came and asked for a little help," she shrugged. "He wanted to propose to his lady, and he was worried about finances. So I sort of wrote him a check for a month's salary, and might have told him that it would come out of further salary payments. Which it didn't. And I might have upped his salary by 5%."

"Might have, might have. Which means you did it on purpose and planned on doing it all along," he said, getting her drift. "Well, he probably deserves it," he added, not just because the man was trying to overcome tragedy, but because if they wanted to keep good talent, they'd have to make it worth their while to stay.

"Well, yeah," she laughed. "He came back the next month and asked if there'd been a mistake on his paycheck. I get that he's a little touchy about money, but seriously ....the man has talent, and he's given us, what, four years of loyalty' Why shouldn't I do something nice for him' And it might help him feel a little more in control of his finances. I think his fiancee might be a little more loaded than I'm supposed to know."

"Do you overpay everyone who works for you, 'Tay?" he teased, knowing she was not just generous but believed in paying people what they were truly worth. "Who's he engaged to?" he asked, curious once again. Now that the discussion regarding his own future plans was over, they had distracted themselves with gossip, like any pair of best friends might.

"I don't over pay anyone," she defended herself with a smile. "I pay what they're worth, and I hope they realize that. We've been very lucky in our sponsors that we can do that." Sipping her coffee, she smirked at Jon's curiosity. For a man who pretended not to be that interested in gossip, he never ceased to get sucked in. "Demeter Forster," she told him. "She's a psychologist, I think. She was one of the models for the Wedding Faire Show."

He almost choked on his coffee when she mentioned that name. "A psychologist?" he echoed with a chuckle. "'Tay, she might be a psychologist now, but the last I heard, she was a lingerie model." It wasn't that he knew her personally or anything, but he had run across a couple of lingerie catalogs among Vicki's magazines and er, admired her photo.

"It's not really a question of whether it's working for me so much as if it's working for her," Jon replied. "I mean, she insisted on keeping her job, but she's clearly got her hands full at home, so we compromised. Sol does most of the hands on work, but he answers directly to Liv, which works out well for all of us, I hope."

"Well, if you hadn't managed to keep hold of her, I would have stolen her out from under you," his friend informed him shamelessly. She was envious of how well managed his public life was, between Liv and Sol. "I take it they're not sniping at each other anymore?"

"Gods, I hope not. Sol is ridiculously efficient, but he lacks Liv's personal touch, so they balance each other out. I don't really read or answer any fan mail anymore, and only the occasional script. I should probably hire an agent or manager again, but after what happened with Mason ..." He shrugged. Besides what did he need a manager for when he was solely devoted to the Shanachie"

"You don't need an agent with two P.A.s keeping track of your career," Mataya pointed out fondly. "Mason's an ass - his name isn't attached to any A-listers anymore. It's not only you he screwed over." Setting her coffee cup down, she sighed comfortably. "Are you going to come and see Kiss Me, Kate" Your little sister and her husband have unveiled a hitherto unknown talent for tap."

Jon smiled as his friend changed the subject. "I wouldn't miss it. I'm really proud of her. I'm not sure how much longer we're going to have her though," he said, the frown fading. He assumed Mataya knew the truth about Dru's identity and background and where she disappeared to when she wasn't in Rhy'Din City. He also knew that the day would come when she would have to step up and accept the responsibilities of her birthright and bloodline back home, but hopefully Rhy'Din would always be a place of peace and personal refuge.

"You wouldn't believe the negotiating she pulled off to be allowed to stay here for Kate," Mataya told him, rather proud of the young woman herself. "Usually she's back home for the whole of August, but she wangled it so she and Josh will only be there for the last two weeks. I think she had to cave and give them January as well as February in return, though."

"Oh, I'd believe it," Jon said. Though he didn't know from experience, he knew enough from what Dru had told him and though it saddened him that his baby sister had experienced such tragedy and was forced to shoulder such responsibility at such a young age, he was also proud of the young woman she had become in spite of and because of it. And he'd become fond of Josh, too. "I wonder sometimes if my father doesn't have any other children wandering around the multiverse somewhere," he mused aloud. His late father's infidelity to his mother was no big secret in the Granger family any longer.

"He might," Mataya shrugged, shaking her head. "But they aren't here, and if they haven't made themselves known by now, I doubt they ever will. Des and Dru are enough, aren't they' Or are you hoping for a doctor to complete the set?"

"No," he chuckled. "We have George." What didn't the Granger family have" Just about every occupation possibly had been covered, including that of an ex-jewel thief and pirate, if only by marriage. "I'm glad Des and Dru are part of this family, but I just wonder sometimes."

"If you let yourself, you will never stop wondering," his friend reminded him sternly. "If you do have other siblings out there, they aren't your responsibility, Jon. You can't take on the burden of other lives, especially when you don't even know they exist."

"No, but he was my father, 'Tay. And if I do have other siblings out there, it's my responsibility to welcome them into the family." Of course, that depended on whether or not they ever came forward. Theoretically, David Granger could have fathered dozens of children in his lifetime, but Jon hoped that wasn't the case.

"If," she pointed out. "It's all conjecture at this point, and that's all it may ever be. Are you really going to go through your father's life and track down every woman he might ever have slept with on the off-chance that she might have had a child by him?"

"Oh, hell, no. The thought is just a little ....unsettling sometimes. Knowing I might have siblings out there I'll never know," he explained. She was right, though - there wasn't anything he could do about it but welcome and embrace them if they ever did step forward and hope they weren't full of animosity. "Anyhow, how are things with you and Max?" he asked, shifting the topic of conversation to her and her life.

Her smile softened as she thought of Max. "They're good," she assured him warmly. "Max seems ....happier these days, now he's not on display all the time. He and Oscar get up to all kinds of adventures when I'm working, and ....well, last night was a perfect example. He stayed up with Oz all night, and he would have stayed awake all day, too, if I hadn't forced him back into bed. Maybe we'll get married again, maybe not. But I'm truly happy, Jon. I feel like I don't give him enough in return for what he gives me."

"I was kind of surprised he decided to step away from the theater," Jon remarked, seeing the irony in it as he was contemplating the same thing in a way. And Max and Mataya only had one child to care for, where Jon and Vicki were going on four. He and Max had never been very close, but he knew the man was good for Mataya and so long as he made her happy, that's all that mattered to him.

"It surprised me, too," she admitted with a smile. "But he's better for it. He's more ....more himself than he ever was before. The Max Yako of a few years ago would never have been caught dead up to his elbows in a muddy puddle looking for one of his son's shoes and enjoying every minute of it."

"We've changed, haven't we?" Jon mused. Not just himself, but Mataya and Max, too. Even Vicki had changed. It wasn't a bad thing necessarily - everyone had to grow up sometimes. Except maybe Tommy and Lena.

"We grew up, Jon boy," Mataya chuckled lightly. "Look at us. We employ people, we built our own families. Hate to say it, but we kind of are officially adults now. No more behaving like kids and getting away with it."

"Yeah, I guess we did," he replied, though he didn't remember anything that had happened before a few years ago. It bothered him sometimes that there was a big hole in his history that he couldn't remember, but maybe it was better that way. He'd been given a second chance at life, and he hoped he was a better person for it. "I'm glad, you know. I'm glad you have Max and Juno and Oscar. And I'm glad we are friends. You're the best friend I've ever had, 'Tay, and I don't think I need to remember the past to know that."

"Aww, Jonny," she smiled, almost teasing him but not quite. "It's sweet of you to say it. You're my best friend, you always have been. And I hope you always will be. Stick with me, kid, we've been places."