Gabi stood in the center of Frank's bedroom, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her mind was in utter turmoil, unable to find coherence in her thoughts, lost in the boiling mass of emotion that had settled upon her in the days since ...
No, she couldn't even think the words, much less say them out loud. They were horrifying, painful, isolating. So isolating. One word kept howling through her mind ....Alone. For her whole life, she had been one of three, the youngest of three people born on the same day, secure in the love of her brothers no matter what happened between them. And now she was one.
Hope was a dull thing, not daring to make its presence felt in the midst of her despair. She didn't dare hope that Cian might still pull through; she couldn't bear the thought that if she allowed herself that hope, he might still leave her the way Frank had. Alone. She would have to get used to being just one, alone, no longer protected by her brothers and their laughing, teasing affection for her.
Anger was the strongest of the feelings that coursed through her. How dare they' How dare they do this to her" She was angry with Cian for being stupid enough to get into the accident in the first place; furious with Frank for dying to save his life. Livid with the hospital for not finding a match with her blood. Incandescent with rage at her Aunt Miranda, who had swept home just two days ago and had settled right in, taking over the care of her father as though it was all she had ever done.
It wasn't that she didn't appreciate her aunt, of course not. Gabi usually enjoyed Miranda's visits greatly. But now ....Gabi had nothing to distract her from the uncertainties of the future, no purpose to keep her from splitting three ways. The interfering woman had taken over their father's life without so much as a by your leave, and left Gabi flapping uselessly in the wind.
Gordon had his sister to take care of him. Cian had Tera. Jon had Vicki. Humphrey had Caroline and her boyfriend keeping tabs on him. Who did Gabi have" Just herself. Alone. She had never been able to make friends easily, too shy of people in general to form the bonds that meant so much. Even the rest of the family scared her; they were too boisterous, too loud, too brave.
They were everything Gabi was not, and in moments like this, she felt keenly the separation between their blood. She did not belong. She had never truly belonged; just a child adopted by Gordon and Felicity to be the daughter they could not have. She'd found her birth mother's family a few years before; but no, she didn't belong there, either.
So this was it. No purpose, no support, no place to hide. One brother ....gone ....the other lingering in a coma. Her father distraught and comforted by his sister. Her family turning to those they knew and trusted for their own comfort. Only she had no one to turn to. Alone. And it was entirely her own fault.
It was ridiculous, stupid. She was twenty-seven years old, and had no friends, no attachments, nothing in her life but her work. But fabrics and books would never be able to cover the gaping hole that had been left deep in her soul by this dreadful loss. So she would have to do something about it. Alone.
No, she couldn't even think the words, much less say them out loud. They were horrifying, painful, isolating. So isolating. One word kept howling through her mind ....Alone. For her whole life, she had been one of three, the youngest of three people born on the same day, secure in the love of her brothers no matter what happened between them. And now she was one.
Hope was a dull thing, not daring to make its presence felt in the midst of her despair. She didn't dare hope that Cian might still pull through; she couldn't bear the thought that if she allowed herself that hope, he might still leave her the way Frank had. Alone. She would have to get used to being just one, alone, no longer protected by her brothers and their laughing, teasing affection for her.
Anger was the strongest of the feelings that coursed through her. How dare they' How dare they do this to her" She was angry with Cian for being stupid enough to get into the accident in the first place; furious with Frank for dying to save his life. Livid with the hospital for not finding a match with her blood. Incandescent with rage at her Aunt Miranda, who had swept home just two days ago and had settled right in, taking over the care of her father as though it was all she had ever done.
It wasn't that she didn't appreciate her aunt, of course not. Gabi usually enjoyed Miranda's visits greatly. But now ....Gabi had nothing to distract her from the uncertainties of the future, no purpose to keep her from splitting three ways. The interfering woman had taken over their father's life without so much as a by your leave, and left Gabi flapping uselessly in the wind.
Gordon had his sister to take care of him. Cian had Tera. Jon had Vicki. Humphrey had Caroline and her boyfriend keeping tabs on him. Who did Gabi have" Just herself. Alone. She had never been able to make friends easily, too shy of people in general to form the bonds that meant so much. Even the rest of the family scared her; they were too boisterous, too loud, too brave.
They were everything Gabi was not, and in moments like this, she felt keenly the separation between their blood. She did not belong. She had never truly belonged; just a child adopted by Gordon and Felicity to be the daughter they could not have. She'd found her birth mother's family a few years before; but no, she didn't belong there, either.
So this was it. No purpose, no support, no place to hide. One brother ....gone ....the other lingering in a coma. Her father distraught and comforted by his sister. Her family turning to those they knew and trusted for their own comfort. Only she had no one to turn to. Alone. And it was entirely her own fault.
It was ridiculous, stupid. She was twenty-seven years old, and had no friends, no attachments, nothing in her life but her work. But fabrics and books would never be able to cover the gaping hole that had been left deep in her soul by this dreadful loss. So she would have to do something about it. Alone.