((Contains material of an adult nature.))

The time had come. It had been a long time coming, too. More than two months, and yet less than two weeks had gone into the planning of it. Nerves had filled the air all day, but there was no getting away from it. Tonight was the night. Vicki stared at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror, seeing right through her fragile veneer of confidence to the quivering wreck she was feeling inside. It was just a date, what was wrong with her" A date with Jon, like hundreds of dates before. Except it wasn't like hundreds before. Tonight, she was determined to rekindle their intimacy, regardless of her own self-esteem issues. Emily had been handed over to Johnny and Liv a little over an hour ago, together with enough milk and diapers to keep an army of small children supplied.

It was just one night, she kept telling herself, trying not to linger on the pang that came with not having her daughter within a few steps of her. Just one night. And she and Jon needed this one night more than Emily needed them right there for twenty-four hours.

For the last two months, Jon and Vicki's lives had almost solely revolved around the small person who had come rather unexpectedly into their lives and who so desperately depended on them for her every need. Jon had learned that, even with both of them working together, taking care of a baby is hard work, but it was rewarding work. There were no days off, no calling in sick, no vacations, no respites. It was, in a word, exhausting, and yet, he and Vicki had never been happier. The only thing missing from their lives really was the intimacy they'd always shared first as lovers, then as husband and wife, and though Jon had been patient, it seemed Vicki was at last ready to reclaim that lost part of their lives.

Vicki had spent the last couple of days referring to this little outing as a dirty weekend, always laughing whenever she said it. Liv - always helpful, patient Liv - had made all the arrangements for Jon's secretive little surprise, from the meal to the accommodation. At least this time there wouldn't be any ghoulish awakenings. With a last nod to her reflection, Vicki squared her shoulders and left the bathroom, her hands spread almost protectively over her stomach. She wasn't as fat as she thought she was, just a little loose where she had been toned, and even that was sorting itself out gradually. It didn't stop her feeling self-conscious, though. Her eyes sought out Jon, hoping he would like what he saw. She'd made a real effort to dress up. She'd even resisted the urge to wear enormous body-form knickers.

It was the first time Jon was seeing his wife dressed up and not wearing a baby bump since before Emily had been born, and it was the first time they'd been out on what might be classified as a date since New Year's Eve. As for himself, he was dressed in a dark blue suit and tie that brought out the blue in his eyes. He had stopped shaving and was working on growing a beard in preparation for The Canterville Ghost, which was coming up at the Shanachie in a few weeks.

He felt strangely nervous with anticipation, as if it was their very first date all over again, and as soon as he laid eyes on his Vicki, he remembered what it was that had attracted him to her in the first place. She might have known him all her life, but the same could not be said for him. As soon as he saw her, he felt butterflies in his stomach, just like he had when they'd first started dating - the same excitement and anticipation knotting him all up inside. He didn't notice any flaws, no matter how self-conscious she felt of herself. All he saw was the redhead he'd fallen in love with, ready to fall in love all over again.

The smile on his face said it all without him saying a word, and yet, he found himself reaching for her hands to take a better look at her, admiring the beauty that was his Vicki. "You've been holding out on me, Vicki," he teased with a grin.

It worked. She laughed softly, that rare blush rising on her cheeks as he drew her hands away from her body, looking him up and down with as much loving appreciation as he showed her. "What, you prefer this look to sweatpants and spit up?" she teased him in return, feeling a subtle flicker deep inside in answer to the grin he turned on her. Ah. So she hadn't completely lost the ability to feel sexy. That boded well for the evening. "You look good enough to eat."

He smirked again, cheeks dimpling beneath a light cover of facial hair. "It's a slight improvement," he teased. "You just might get that wish," he countered with a grin, sweeping an arm around her waist to draw her close. If he wasn't careful, they were going to get it on right there before they were even able to escape the house, but he only kissed her lips gently, lighting the fire between them that had never really gone out, no matter how unattractive Vicki thought she was.

His nervous wife leaned into him with melting softness, her smile fading into loving tenderness as he kissed her. In that moment, all thought of her flabby belly and disobedient boobs went out of the window, proving that she had the best thing a girl could ask for - a loving husband who knew exactly how to make her feel wanted, no matter what she was going through. Her fingers stroked fondly against the light fur that covered his cheek as she drew back from him, her grin reappearing, the tip of her nose nudging his. ?"Why do I get the feeling I'm being seduced, Mr Granger?"

"This was your idea, Mrs. Granger. I am perfectly happy to let you do the seducing, unless you'd prefer it was me." In truth, they had shared that role pretty equally in the past, but it had been Vicki who had pursued the elusive Jonathan Granger and Vicki who had first asked him out. "We should probably get going before we get carried away."

"Excellent idea," she agreed, stepping back from him. The moment she was out of his arms, one hand went back to self-consciously hide her belly, despite the fact that she really had nothing to worry about there. Picking up her clutch, she checked the contents, and turned to smile at Jon. "So where do I get to feel you up before we absolutely have to get to the hotel?"

"The car's always been a good place. Nothing's ever stopped you before," he remarked, blue eyes twinkling. He was confident once she relaxed and they were away from the work and worry of caring for an infant 24 hours a day, she'd be the same old Vicki he'd come to know and love. He doubted they'd get very far before one or the other of them was doing at least a little groping.

She snorted with laughter, glad that Humphrey had taken it upon himself to shut Cosmo up in the study with him until they were out of the house. That damn dog seemed to be quite put out that they'd handed over his puppy to someone else for the night. "You know, you've never once had me in that car," she commented playfully, sliding her hand into his to pull him out of their rooms and into the hallway, heading for the stairs. "Scared I might mess up your beloved Bentley?"

"The Bentley was my first love," he teased back, and as every man who'd ever owned one knew, a car was as female and as jealous as any woman. "She might get jealous," he said, with another teasing smile, as she led him into the hallway and toward the stairs. "Besides, it looks as though I'm going to have to peel you out of that dress, and I'm not sure the car is the place to do that."

"What, you don't want to rumple me indecently in the back seat' I'm hurt." But not by much if the cheeky way she stuck her tongue out at him was anything to go by. As much as she could feel Emily's absence acutely, Vicki was already beginning to relax into the familiar rhythm of time alone with Jon, not needing to censor herself or worry about any interruption that might be coming. "Seriously, though, where are we going" You've been very mysterious about it all day."

He smiled, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Sorry to disappoint, but it's not Venice. I thought we should stay a little closer to home." It wasn't the Imperial Grand. Not tonight. Instead, he was taking her some place smaller, quieter, and much more romantic, but it was a surprise and until they arrived, a surprise it would stay.

"You are not wearing knickers!" he insisted, echoing her laugh as she swatted him. "If I know you, you're wearing lace panties. There's a difference. We don't call them knickers, Vicki! And we're not going to the prom," he remarked as he helped her into the car. Once she was safely inside, he shut the door and went around to the driver's side and climbed in beside her. "Last chance to change your mind," he warned, feeling a little separation anxiety, but knowing if there was a real emergency, there were only a phone call away.

He wasn't the only one having a moment of second thoughts. Vicki looked up at the house, her heart lurching a little bit at the thought of leaving Emily for an entire night. But she knew their daughter was in good hands. She drew in a deep breath, deliberately turning her eyes away from the house and back to her loving husband. "Let's get out of here before we both change our minds."

"It's just one night, Vicki," he reminded her. One night they both desperately needed. He turned his gaze away from the house, already missing Emily, but filled with excitement for the evening that was to come. He made a mental note to make sure they planned more evenings like these in the weeks and months to come. It was important, essential even, to their marriage that they get away now and then, not only to keep the passion alive, but to remember why they'd gotten married in the first place. He put the key in the ignition and turned to start the engine purring before pulling out onto the private road that wound through Maple Grove. "She'll be fine. She'll live without us for one night."

She sighed softly, forcing herself to relax against the seat as he drove them away from the Grove. "I know," she admitted softly. "I was expecting to feel more freaked out about leaving her, to be honest. But it's good for her, and us." Her hand touched his thigh fondly, fingertips stroking through the fine material as a new smirk touched her lips. "Besides, if she was coming with us, she'd have competition for boob attention tonight, wouldn't she?"

He chuckled, never having thought of it that way before. "Oh, I have a feeling she gets first dibs where that's concerned." He glanced her way a moment, devouring her with his eyes, if only briefly. "I've got dibs on....other parts," he said with a smirk as he turned forward to give attention to his driving. He was well aware of the fingers that were stroking his thigh and made no move to discourage her.

"You certainly do." One thing Vicki wasn't going to mention aloud was certain preparations she'd made not so long ago. Expressing milk was never a fun part of her day, but it was rather essential for tonight. She didn't want to have the "is breastmilk bad for me" conversation with Jon tonight, after all. Her eyes turned to the road ahead curiously, still at something of a loss as to what he had planned for the evening. "So you're really not going to tell me where we're going?"

"You'll find out soon enough," he replied a little playfully, not ready to give away the surprise just yet. He just hoped she wasn't given to seasickness, but they'd been to Venice, and she'd been fine. "Make yourself comfortable. It's going to take a little while to get there." Not too long, but she'd know soon enough that he wasn't taking her to any of their usual haunts.

"How comfortable would you like me?" she teased him, drawing a fingertip up along the inner seam of his pants for a moment before removing her hand entirely. "Because, you know, bras can be incredibly uncomfortable. So can stockings. And shoes. And I've never exactly been at home in a dress, either." She flashed him a wicked little grin. He was going to have to hurry up, or she might just start making herself really comfortable.

"Not so comfortable that I get pulled over....or soil my pants," he added as an afterthought. If she was going to get him worked up, she'd better know when to stop or make sure she finished the job. Either way, someone was going to get it tonight, and both of them seemed pretty happy with that prospect. "Liv made all the arrangements. I hope you don't mind....I had her pick you out something a little more comfortable for morning."

"Mmm, I thought someone had been rifling through my clothes," Vicki laughed, but she didn't mind Liv packing for her. The new Mrs Storm might be overly fond of skirts and dresses in her own wardrobe, but she knew Vicki was a firm advocate of jeans. "I was going to accuse Humphrey of starting his female impersonator act before I remembered he'd never fit into my shoes." Chuckling, she looked over at Jon, drawn into enjoying his profile as they passed beneath the street lights. "God, you're gorgeous."

He laughed at the thought of Humphrey in drag, wondering what she'd think of Jon if she knew he'd had to wear a dress once or twice, even if he didn't remember it himself. "Just be grateful Mataya hasn't asked me to play a female role yet." He glanced her way momentarily and smiled at the compliment, already knowing what she thought of him. "Think you'd still love me if I was ugly?"

"Darling, you could never be ugly," she promised him through her smile. "Reason' That drop dead gorgeous soul of yours. Seriously ....you could have a hunchback, a harelip, a tongue too big, and a dick too small, and you'd still be gorgeous." There was a pause before she added with a smirk, "But, you know, it doesn't hurt sharing a bed with the sexiest man I have ever clapped eyes on."

"Oh, I think a hunchback or a harelip might have deterred you from dating me. Not sure about the dick. I've heard it's technique and not size that matters." Before long, it became apparent that they were heading away from the city toward in the direction of the bay.

"Sweetie, you've got both, stop fishing for compliments." She patted his thigh intimately, grinning at him in the gloom of the car. "Still love me when I'm fat and bald?" she asked him then, still teasing, enjoying being able to just relax into being Vicki, Jon's wife, for a while rather than being Vicki, Emily's mother. She glanced out through the window, a curious frown touching her brow. "Um ....please tell me you're not planning a moonlight swim. Because me and swimsuits aren't going to get on for at least another month."

"You're never going to be fat or bald, but if it makes you feel better, yes. I'd still love you if you were fat or bad, if your teeth were crooked or you had a mustache." He paused, smirking to himself. "Okay, maybe not if you had a mustache," he teased. "I'm not planning a moonlight swim," he repeated, word for word, that mischievous smirk still on his face.

"What, not even if it was a Foo Manchu?" she laughed, not quite able to imagine herself with any kind of mustache, much less one as distinctive as that. "So not a moonlight swim," she mused, trying to work out what he had planned. "You're not that into fishing, so you're not likely to make me bait a hook and sit next to you looking interested for a couple of hours. What, are we helping out with the Harbor clean up or something?"

He laughed, amused at this little guessing game of hers. "Yes, that's totally it. I had you get all dressed up so we can go to the harbor and pick up garbage." As evidenced from the look on his face, he was obviously enjoying knowing something she didn't, just like when he'd taken her on an impromptu tour of Venice. There were times when it was nice to be a Granger and have a little money, and this was definitely one of those times.

"You are completely insufferable when you're like this," Vicki huffed, too excited about their night out to get too annoyed with his continuing silence. She enjoyed Jon's surprises; he always managed to pull something out of the bag that she could never have imagined in the first place. And now she owed him one herself, though it might take a while to arrange. "Hmm ....oh! We're going to crash Caroline and Richmond on his boat!"

There was that chuckle of his again as she continued to try and guess and guess incorrectly. "Do you really think I want to spend our first night alone in God knows how long with my cousin" And her son?" he added. Though Jack was a little older than Emily, he was still a baby, and as fond as he was of children, he wanted Vicki all to himself tonight. "You're getting warmer though," he told her, giving her a little encouragement.

Vicki chewed her lip as she considered what she might possibly have gotten warmer with. Not Caroline and Jack, obviously, but maybe ...."You've evicted them for a night so we can have Richmond's boat all to ourselves?" she hazarded a guess, though if that were true, he was likely to end up with an argument. She knew he was eager to be alone with her, but she didn't think he would actually want her so much he'd hire his cousin's fiance's boat out and leave them having to find somewhere else to sleep.

Charmed by the old-fashioned greeting, Vicki paused with Jon, hugging his arm fondly as she smiled at James. "Thank you very much, James," she nodded to the steward cheerfully. "Where would you prefer us to make ourselves comfortable?"

"Anywhere you like really. Dinner will be served shortly. Until then, you can get a drink at the bar and relax on the observation deck, if you wish." Jon waited for Vicki to finish chatting with the steward, allowing her to make the decision for them.

"That sounds like a good idea." She cast an enquiring eye up toward Jon, as much an invitation to make use of the observation deck as to snatch a little more privacy before dinner was served. She wasn't making any secret of the fact that she wanted her husband wound as tight as he could go tonight. And possibly tomorrow morning, too. After all, they'd proved over the last couple of months that they could function responsibly on the barest of bare minimums when it came to sleep, and they did say that good sex can replace good sleep in a pinch.

"Your quarters are below deck, if you wish to freshen up," the steward continued, though neither Jon nor Vicki looked in need of freshening.

Jon smirked at the suggestion, assuming the man was subtly hinting they were free to squeeze in a quickie, if they so desired, without saying so. "A drink sounds good, thank you," he laid a hand at the small of Vicki's back as he led her toward the bar to fetch them both a drink.

"Oh, I'm fresh enough," Vicki chuckled impishly, utterly shameless as Jon steered her away from the steward who had greeted them. "What?" she protested, grinning up at her husband. "I am, you know that!" It didn't take long, however, before she was distracted by the view through the glass onto the harbor, watching as The Bay Queen pulled away from the dock toward the open bay.

Jon laughed at his wife's impish and shameless sense of humor. "You are that!" he agreed as they headed toward the bar. As yet, there were no other passengers to be seen but the two of them, though they were accompanied by a small crew who were there to fulfill their every need and desire and ensure they had a pleasant trip.

A woman behind the bar smiled at their approach, apparently as happy to make their acquaintance as the steward. "Welcome aboard the Queen! What can I get for you both tonight?"

"Hmmm ..." At this question, Vicki had a faint twinge of guilt, remembering Emily back at home. But she'd expressed enough milk to last the little terror until at least the day after next, which meant she could afford to be a little bit naughty tonight. Her eyes strayed to Jon's. "May I have a glass of wine?"

"Are you asking me?" Jon remarked with a smirk, amused that she felt the need to ask his permission. Emily was safely at home with Johnny and Liv and wouldn't need her mother for sustenance for at least another day or so yet. "I don't think one glass of wine will hurt anything, do you?"

She shook her head, laughing a little. "Sorry, I'm just getting a second opinion here," she explained cheerfully, turning her eyes to the stewardess behind the bar. "White wine, please." Her hand snuck around and pinched Jon's rear, just because she could, her expression completely innocent and therefore incredibly suspect.

He smirked again, biting back a laugh when he felt a suspicious pinch at his rear. There was only one person he could blame for that and it was his lovely wife. "Make it two, please," Jon instructed the stewardess, who politely poured each a glass of their best white cocktail wine, making very little small talk. She was paid to serve their needs and nothing more.

"There you go," she said as she set the glasses on the bar. "Let me know if you'd like anything else," she added politely.

Jon picked up both glasses with a murmur of thanks and handed one to his wife.

Thanking the stewardess quietly herself, Vicki took her glass from Jon with a warm smile, gently touching the rim to his own. "Here's to a relaxing evening, hmm?" Her eyes sparkled, promising a little more tension before he got to properly relax, taking a sip of her wine before she turned away, moving toward the wide windows to watch the marina passing by. Odd, how on land she was just a little bit wobbly on those heels, yet with the gentle motion of the yacht beneath her, she was completely steady.

He mirrored her smile as they clinked glasses, already starting to unwind now that they were away from Rhy'Din and the constant responsibility of parenting, if only for a night. He sipped at his wine before following her to the windows to look out on the stretch of blue water and the gathering dusk. "It's lovely, isn't it?" he asked, watching her profile, silhouetted against the fiery evening sky. It was hard to say whether he was talking about her or the view - more than likely, it was both.

"It is," she agreed softly, blissfully unaware for the moment that he wasn't looking at the rippling view as the yacht glided from the enclosed harbor out into the bay, her own attention caught by the setting sun casting long shadows in varying hues over the water ahead of them. "You know, I grew up so close to the sea, and I've never been on a boat before. Strange, isn't it?"

Jon frowned a moment, his mind returning to her mother's death, wondering if such an event - even if it was unremembered - could have a lasting effect on her life. "First time for everything, Vicki," he told her, coming up behind her and sliding an arm around her waist as he watched the sun set against the bay from behind her shoulder. He closed his eyes a moment, the scent of her, the closeness of her, filling his senses.

She smiled as he drew close to her, drawing her fingers tenderly over the back of his hand as she leaned against him, unknowingly closing her own eyes in the same instant as his to savor the scent and feel of him so close to her. She couldn't have said just why she'd never been on a ship, though it was likely her father had not wanted her so close to the danger that had taken the original Emily from them when she was a child. "I've had a lot of firsts with you," she murmured tenderly. "All of them wonderful."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" he asked softly, as he leaned close, eyes opening, as he breathed her in. Of course, he had. He said it often, though perhaps not so much lately, as distracted as they were with the baby, but he thought she deserved to hear it again and could never hear it often enough.

Her face turned toward his, lips tenderly brushing against the line of his jaw, enjoying the tickle of his growing beard against her mouth with a fond smile. "Not since I pounced you on the front steps before we got in the car," she murmured, switching her glass from one hand to the other to curl her fingers against his cheek. "You're the best part of me, Jon. Sometimes it feels like the word love doesn't even begin to cover how deeply I feel for you."

Touched by the rare seriousness of her sentiment, he smiled softly as she touched his cheek, and he wished he didn't have that damned glass of wine in his hand so he could take her in his arms and kiss her properly, but there'd be plenty of time for that later. "Sometimes I feel like I've known you forever." Which in a strange way, he had, having been privy to snatches of her life as she grew up, from the time she was a baby until she was a grown woman. "Do you believe in soul mates, Vicki?" He knew he was taking a risk, chancing a serious moment with a woman who was just as likely to turn his question into a joke of some kind. "In some ways, I feel like my life didn't really begin until I met you."

What an intriguing question, and one to which she wouldn't have had an answer a couple of years before. Despite his presence in her life from a young age, she'd never been the sort to believe in romantic notions and half-remembered fairytales. But being with Jon had changed that, somehow. "I didn't used to believe it was possible to have one perfect other half somewhere out there," she admitted softly, "even knowing you existed. But now ....If you're not my soul mate, Jon, then someone's screwed up royally, because I'm not letting you go."

Lost as she was in that kiss, Vicki still laughed when it became clear that neither of them were actually making a move toward the cabin below deck that was for their use only. Drawing her giggling lips away from his, she smoothed her fingers through Jon's hair, teasing him with kisses that never quite fell as she swayed closer. "Come on," she murmured, sliding her hands down his arms to link her fingers with his. "Before my nerve breaks again." Stepping around him, she moved toward the wide staircase that led down onto the living deck, leading him by the hand toward that intimate privacy they'd been missing for such a long time.

"Don't worry," he reassured her with a smile as they laced their fingers together. "I'm not going anywhere." He swiveled on a heel as she stepped around him, falling into step behind her as she led him by the hand down the stairs to the private quarters that awaited them. If their quarters were any indication, Jon had spared no expense when he'd rented the boat. The bedroom was lavish and spacious, decorated in shades of navy, reminiscent of the depths of the sea or a midnight sky. A bottle of champagne awaited them in a bucket of ice, along with a bowl of strawberries dipped in chocolate. The lighting was soft and low and soothing, but could be adjusted as needed.

Vicki paused on the threshold, looking around the sumptuous display of a room with a mouth ever so slightly open in surprised admiration. "Wow," she murmured, her humor returning as the butterflies started up in her stomach once again. "Am I being seduced, or inducted into a harem?" She offered him a smirk over her shoulder, playful, inviting, and just barely asking him to stop her before she started thinking too much.

"I'm sure I could arrange to have a harem if I wanted one. Would you like to be my first wife or my only wife?" he asked with a teasing grin, before the smile softened with affection, sensing her nervousness. "Vicki, it's just me. There's nothing to be nervous about. I'm not going to find a few stretch marks revolting."

"First and only, if you don't mind, Mr Granger," she offered up rather primly, but the smile playing at her lips softened any reprimand in her words. She loved teasing him, even more so when he teased back. It had taken her a long time to teach him how to read her, to know when she was teasing and when she was serious, but that time had not been spent in vain. He was the only person who could read her that way, and she fully intended to keep him alone in that exclusive camp. Turning to face him, her smile turned a little rueful. "I'm trying, I really am," she promised. "God, this feels like the first time all over again." The first time that had, naturally, been his to savor and ruin her for any other man who might come after.

"Were you really that nervous the first time?" he asked, as he stepped around her and tugged her into the room behind him. Getting into the room was step one. The first time - for her anyway - had been when she'd still been a teenager. He'd tried to resist her, worried she was too young, but it had been Vicki who had always pursued him, right from the very beginning, even if their courtship had been sort of backwards.

She nodded, a little shy of admitting to this. Even at sixteen, she'd been bound and determined to have her Jonathan Granger, so much so that she had pretended to be far more mature than she really was. She'd hidden her nerves so well she'd almost believed it herself. But she hadn't slept with anyone else until she was nineteen, utterly spoiled and refusing to believe that he wasn't going to suddenly bounce back into her life again, be it for an hour or a day. "I didn't want you to know," she confessed through her smile, stepping after him as the door closed firmly behind her, automatically locking from the inside. "I thought you might say no if you knew I was just another scared little virgin."

He listened with vigilant attention as she opened up and revealed something about herself that she had never really revealed before. Jon had always found Vicki to be one of the most confident, self-assured people he'd ever known. She knew what she wanted and simply went out and got it, refusing to give up until she succeeded, and yet, there was a soft, vulnerable side to her that she rarely showed anyone but him, and in those moments, he remembered the frightened little girl she'd once been who'd wanted to run away from home and all her problems. He drew her toward him as the door closed and clicked locked, a small, uncertain frown on his face. "I probably should have said no, but you were so insistent, and....I knew how things were going to turn out. It sort of felt like cheating."

"I wouldn't have had it any other way." It was the truth, and he knew it. Vicki had never lied to him; even keeping the secret of his involvement in her life before he discovered it had been a matter of omission rather than a direct deception. Her hands smoothed up against the lapels of his suit jacket as she leaned into him, warm and tender and impossibly vulnerable for the confident, sassy woman she was to the outside world. Only Jon ever got to see this side of her, a side not even her father knew. "I've loved you since I was a child, Jon. Did you really think you were going to make it through my late teens without ending up in bed with me?"

"I didn't know where I was going to end up, Vicki. You had all those memories. You knew where I was going, what I was going to do, but I didn't, not until I got there. Sometimes..." He shrugged, unsure why this subject always bothered him so much, caused mixed feelings. It always came down to her mother. He'd been there the day she died; he'd witnessed something she'd been too young to remember, and no matter how many times Vicki tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, he would always end up wondering if somehow it was. "Sometimes I wish..." He trailed off, with a sad frown.

Her fingers laid themselves softly against his lips, stilling the frown on his face as she followed his train of thought with ease. "Sometimes I do, too," she told him quietly, knowing that her mother's death haunted him in a way it would never torment her. "But then I look at my dad, and I see how happy he is with Marie. And I look at you. If she was still here, how many people would be heartsick and lonely' I know I would be. There's no one else for me, Jon. I think she knows that, wherever she is."

He drew comfort from her words and her touch, just as he always did. He knew he'd never be able to forget Vicki's mother or her death, but it was getting a little easier with time. He had tried his best to save her, even if he'd failed, and who knew what might have happened if he hadn't been there" Maybe it wouldn't have just been Emily who'd have drowned, but Vicki, too. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I brought it up." It was strange, in a way, how he knew things, remembered things about Vicki's past, when his own past was such a blank.

Her smile softened again, finding something to understand in his own confusion. She was the mother now; was it so hard to understand that his fear of losing her extended further to his fear of Emily losing her mother, exactly the way Vicki had lost her own" Her arms rose, fingers combing into his curls as she pressed close, brushing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'm not going anywhere," she promised him faithfully, utterly determined to hold to that promise until she was old and grey and unable to do for herself.

Her nervousness seemed to melt away as they seemed to almost trade places. It was the way things had always been with them, it seemed. Jon had always thought Vicki was the stronger of the two of them, and yet, he'd been there for her when she'd needed him, just as she'd been there for him. The irony wasn't lost on him that she had turned his own words back around on him, assuring him she would never leave him and always love him, just as he'd assured her. He was all out of words; there was nothing left that needed to be said. He didn't want to talk anymore, not about their past or their family - dead or living. He just wanted to lose himself in her, lose himself in her love, if only for a little while. Just forget the rest of the world existed, but for the two of them.

He drew her closer into his embrace, lifting her chin to find his lips, his kiss slow and deep and fervent, letting her know without words how deeply he loved her and needed her.

And again, she let his kiss, his love, his desire for her overwhelm her senses, answering that need with her own, fighting to drown the ever present flutter of nerves inside with the pure heat of their shared tenderness. She had always been the pursuer, the seducer, right from the start ....so why did her nerves choose now to try and derail that confidence" She loved him, more deeply than anyone in her lifetime; she needed him the way he needed her. And yet she was trembling as her hands smoothed down from his shoulders, as her lips parted to share a gasping breath with him through that kiss and her fingers fumbled to undo the knot of his tie. It was a first step she had taken so many times before. Why did she need all her courage to do it this time"

Her palm curled to his neck as she rose up onto an elbow, holding him close enough to feel the staggered rush of her breath as her trembling began to subside. She knew as well as he did that it could hurt, but then she hadn't been expecting to be prepared quite that thoroughly. "So let me drive until we know for sure," she suggested, her voice husky with promise. "I'm not stopping now." Her other hand smoothed over his shoulder, teasing the divot between his shoulder-blades for a moment before reversing its course, smoothing a fingertip down to flick open the button of his fly. "Tell me what you want, Jon."

"I just want you," he replied, his own voice husky with desire. There was no hesitation in his answer, despite his anxiety about hurting her. He pulled away from her and moved to his feet so that he could add his pants and briefs to the pile of clothing scattered across the floor. Once his clothing was removed, his need for her was evident, and though he wanted her, he found himself hesitating and letting her take the lead once again.

There was no mistaking the eagerness in her gaze as she looked him over, as appreciative of him now as she had been when she was sixteen years old. Her hand rose to take his, drawing him down onto the bed with her, teasing kisses of her own from his lips as her fingers roamed. And very slowly she rolled him onto his back, taking her own time to give him what he wanted, what she wanted, chancing the pain that only flickered as she moaned his name. Nothing could compare to this moment, the feeling of complete oneness with the man who possessed her heart and soul, thrilling her with her own tender love for him.

The wait, as they say, had been well worth it. He had longed for this ever since Emily had been born, maybe even before that, but in the end, it was the closeness, the oneness, the coming together like two parts of one soul that he longed for most. When they were together like this, it was as though they were joined not only on a physical level, but of one mind, one body, one soul. His heart belonged to her and only her and always would, in this life and beyond this life. Forever and always.

The tide rose and fell, sweeping her away with it, surprising her with how snugly they still fitted together, how attuned he was to her and she to him. The pain that had been expected was only an ache of muscles previously bruised, unaccustomed to this treatment, the feeling drawing a delighted smile to her lips even as she moved with him, keeping control for herself this one time. It was her turn to tease and entice, to draw every last ounce of pleasure from him before her own took over, spilling his name and her love to the lapping waters that surrounded their luxury little getaway.

No matter how long it had been since their last romantic interlude, it was as if no time had passed at all. Jon did his best to make Vicki relax, to reassure her that she was still desirable, no matter what she might think or fear. Once she was over that initial fear, she seemed to become the self-assured Vicki he had fallen in love with, the Vicki who got what she wanted, and what she'd always wanted was him. Jon surrendered to her, giving himself over to her, allowing her to take control and do as she willed, and she did not disappoint, washing away all the frustration that had built up over the past months, frustration he'd been hardly aware of. When she was finally finished and his desire was satiated, he felt utterly and blissfully relaxed and more content than ever before. He kissed his name from her lips as he took her in his arms and wrapped her in his embrace, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, just as they'd promised, for tonight and all the days of his life.

Wrapped close in his arms, shuddering still in the ebbing grip of something she'd been longing to share with him for what felt like an eternity, Vicki breathed him into her, celebrating the silken musk that combined his skin and hers, the scent of their palpable affections for one another clinging to them both. She felt wonderful, more relaxed than she had felt in months, and to her surprise, not even a momentary flicker of discomfort crossed her mind at the realization that she was naked with her husband. She curled close, brushing her lips against his chest as she lifted her head to gaze down at him tenderly. "You're the most incredible man I have ever known," she heard herself murmur lovingly to him, daring him to argue with the playful glimmer in her eyes. "Do you think it's possible to catch up two months in a single night?"

He smiled softly up at her, his arms wrapped loosely around her, fingers idly caressing her back. He knew she was biased when it came to him, and he knew that despite his travels through her past, it had taken years before she'd dared seek him out, years before he'd become the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago. It was almost like living life backwards, and if truth be told, if he hadn't traveled back through her life, they might never have known each other to begin with. "I think we have the rest of our lives to catch up, don't you?" he asked, fingers tracing lazy circles against her back.

"Seriously' You're choosing now to get prudish on me?" She laughed, and for the first time in a long time, it was the laugh he was completely used to, the laugh that bubbled up from deep inside her and spilled out without any thought of muffling or quieting herself, utterly unashamed of the occasional snort or splutter as she rolled onto her back, holding her heaving stomach as the giggles gripped and faded away.

"Prudish?" he scoffed, chuckling ironically at the very thought. "Me" Prudish' Have you forgotten who's starring as Christian Grey?" he asked as he rolled over on top of her to straddle her hips, reaching for her hands and pulling them up over her head. "Do I have to prove to you how far from prudish I am?" he asked, blue eyes dancing with mischief.

He really should have known what the answer to that rather redundant question was going to be. Because he loved her, he'd waited just long enough to let her identify her own problems; because he loved her, he'd been integral to showing her that those problems really were all in her mind. And because she loved him, Vicki was more than ready to make up for lost time. Her lips curved in a grin to match his as she arched up, her breath ghosting against his lips. "Mmm, yes, please."

And because he loved her, though he wanted to ravish her and have his way with her, he didn't. He held himself back so that he wouldn't lose control and hurt her, until he was sure she had healed completely and was ready for something less gentle. Until then, he followed her lead, allowing himself to go only as far as she'd let him, as far as she could manage without causing her any pain or discomfort. It was more than they'd had together in months, and it was enough for now. Maybe he was being a prude, but he preferred to think of it as being a caring, thoughtful, unselfish lover. Despite his restraint, he didn't leave her wanting, knowing just where to touch her, how to make her feel loved and wanted and desired.

They say that in some cases sex can replace sleep. Between a loving couple who haven't had their hands on each other in months, particularly this loving couple, that was almost certainly the truth. Vicki refused to let Jon pander to his idea that she was somehow breakable, ignoring her aches to coax and tease him as he coaxed and teased her, drawing out the passion until he had no choice but to leave a little of that restraint behind. Each time, she drew him just a little further out of his protective, concerned shield with hands and lips and skin, allowing him to set the pace only when he wasn't holding back too much. As the sky outside began to lighten, she lay back in his arms, breathless once more, warm and loved, and still just a little unsatisfied. Drawing his palm to her lips, she kissed the sensitive flesh softly, her fingers playing between his. "Jon, you know I love you, don't you?"

As they say, time flies when you're having fun. Jon hadn't even realized it was nearly morning until those first rays of light started to creep in through the windows. It was morning already, and they had hardly slept, spending the night rediscovering each other and making up for lost time. As late - or more precisely, as early as it was, he felt strangely invigorated, as though he had slept for days, when in reality, he'd slept hardly at all. "Hmm?" he replied lazily as she drew her lips against his hand and called him by name. "I don't mind hearing it now and then," he told her as he drew his fingers through her hair. Yes, he knew she loved him, but he never got tired of hearing the words.

She rose up onto an elbow, releasing his hand to smile lazily down at him as his fingers played through her hair. "But you know it, don't you?" she asked again, needing to be certain of this before she went on. "Just the way I'd know you love me, even if you never said it again."

He furrowed his brows up at her, wondering what was going through her lovely copper-haired head. She'd never ask him such a question without a good reason, and he was curious what that reason was. "Vicki, what?s this about?" he asked, before answering her question, which he thought should go without asking anyway.

As much as he was trying to reassure her, shocked distress flared in Vicki's eyes. It felt as though he was confirming her worst fear - that somehow his memories had returned and brought with them the love he'd felt for someone else before he'd ever even known she existed. She kept her mouth shut, though, not wanting to make things any worse than they already were, knowing him well enough to understand that he was just beginning. She twisted onto her side, and very tentatively curled her hand about his, silently encouraging, despite her fear.

"I hurt a lot of people, Vicki. I hurt Correy and Rori and Kaylee and Nikki and Lena and....God knows who else. I hurt them because I was a selfish, arrogant *ss. Yeah, I'm a different person now, and maybe they can forgive me and maybe they can't. That's not what matters. What matters is that I can never be that person again. I can never live that life again. I don't want to be that person. I'm ashamed of that person, and I'm ashamed of some of the things I did when I was that person."

Her fingers tightened about his, pushing her own uncertainty aside to listen as he meandered through his own shadow. "You won't ever be that person again," she promised him faithfully, knowing that as long as she was around, he'd never have any reason to give into the craving or the temptation for whatever it was he was wanting. "You won't let that happen. I know you won't."

"No, I won't." He agreed with her on that, at least. He was done with the booze and the cocaine and the wild parties and even wilder people, but there was still something niggling at him, some fear that he hadn't quite admitted to just yet. "But there's a part of me, Vicki....a part deep down that I'm afraid of." There was that haunted look in his eyes again, some deeper fear he was having trouble putting into words. "It was....It was when I was with Correy." His mouth twitched nervously, unsure what he was afraid of exactly. "We were....you know....and....it got a little rough. I got a little too carried away, and....I hurt him. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I did." He turned his head away, his heart heavy at the burden of guilt he'd been carrying for so long. Whether others had forgiven him or not, he was having a hard time forgiving himself. "I can't let that happen again, Vicki," he said as he turned back to her, his eyes wet with tears. "Not to you. I'd never forgive myself. I love you too much."

It broke her heart to see him like this, to realize that she'd pushed him into this confession when it hurt him so much even to admit it to himself. But she didn't reach for him, needing him to look into her eyes and really hear her this time. He had to stop looking over his own shoulder, to stop expecting himself to cause harm when she knew he would never do it. "Baby, it won't happen again," she told him, her voice throbbing with sincerity. "Look at me. Really listen to me. I know you. I've known you all my life. I know you love me. And it's that love that won't let you hurt me. If you can't bring yourself to trust in your own strengths, then trust me. Trust me to tell you if we ever reach a point I can't handle; trust me to stop you if it ever goes too far. But please, love ....please stop hiding from me. I can't help you if I can't see what?s hurting you."

Tears spilled over onto his cheeks, not so much at the guilt of his confession, but at the almost unbelievable outpouring of love she felt for him. No one had ever loved him this way, as far as he could remember. No one had ever trusted him the way she seemed to trust him. "I want you to read my journals," he told her. He'd given her permission to do just that once before, but she'd declined. Maybe the time wasn't right then, but if she really wanted to know him, to understand him, then she'd have to. He didn't have the words to explain all the things he'd read about himself, but that he didn't remember. "I want you to read them, but..." His eyes welled up with tears again as he finally got to the heart of the matter. "I'm afraid if you do, you won't love me anymore," he admitted, in a voice strained with guilt and worry.

She couldn't help it - a wry smile touched her face at his final tearful confession. Reaching out, she finally touched him, curling her hand to his cheek as she inched closer. "Then you're an idiot," she told him tenderly, sealing that assurance with a slow, soft kiss. "But you're my idiot, and nothing is ever going to change that. Certainly not a past that has no bearing on us in the here and now."

The kiss he returned tasted salty with tears, but he couldn't withhold that from her. He loved her with all his heart, and he was happy because of her. He wanted to banish the past, forget it had ever happened. It was like it had all happened to another person, not him, but he knew it wasn't that easy. He lost himself to that slow, lingering kiss for a moment before he broke away from her lips. "I don't know what I did to deserve you," he told her, only now daring to touch her, to brush a soft caress of fingers against her cheek. "No one's ever....ever believed in me the way you do." He didn't have to remember his past to know that. He'd read his own journals; he knew it was true.

Her smile softened once again, her cheek turning into the gentle brush of his fingers as her thumb smoothed over his cheekbone. Now was not the time for her to confess to her one lingering uncertainty, she knew that; now was the time to consolidate his wavering belief in himself. "Shouldn't that tell you all you need to know?" she asked him gently. "If I'm really as wonderful as you think I am, then no more second-guessing yourself. No more being afraid of something that will never happen. Because I couldn't believe in you if I thought for a moment that you would do anything to hurt me, in any way." She brushed another tender kiss to his lips, wanting to ease him away from the pain and upset she'd caused with her ill-timed pressure.

"I never want to hurt you. I'd rather suffer a thousand deaths than hurt you." It was a figure of speech, but one that he meant. He'd never be able to live with himself if he ever hurt her. It was unthinkable. "I do love you, Vicki. More than words can say. My life with you is amazing. You're amazing. Emily is amazing. I'm happy and it's all because of you." The storm clouds seemed to have passed, at least for now, the tears subsiding. It would be morning soon, but he wasn't ready to let the night end, not just yet. He kissed her again, slowly, tenderly, letting the kiss speak for him and express his feelings where words failed.

She moaned almost imperceptibly into his kiss, absorbing his intention and turning it back onto him, rolling onto her back to bring him with her. Fitted so closely together, they even breathed as one for a long tender moment, before her lips lovingly drew back from his, just enough to breathe two words to him. "Show me."

He couldn't very well deny her that, not after he'd shared his only remaining secret. What might have damaged another relationship only seemed to pull them closer together. Over the course of the last twelve hours or so, they'd shared their laughter and their tears, and he found himself falling even deeper in love with this special woman who'd stole his heart and filled his life with happiness. He took her again, slowly this time, tenderly, wanting her to know just how much he loved her. He opened his heart to her and filled her with his love, a tender and attentive lover, giving her a taste of the heat she so craved, even as he succumbed to the desires of the flesh.

The dawn found them tangled about one another, closer now than they had been in the hours before. As golden light played through the ripple of water against the portholes, Vicki stirred just enough to open her eyes, gazing at her husband, her Jon, with sleepy, unadulterated adoration. They'd shared so much in course of one night; enough that she hoped his haunted worries would ease away now, that he'd be able to accept that darker shadow as just another facet of his wonderful self, the way she did.

Her lips brushed against his hair as she gathered him closer, enveloping him in her arms. "No matter what I read, or what you say, or what we do," she murmured tenderly, "I will never stop loving you." Because he was hers, her husband, the father of her child, the center of her world. From the moment her mother had left her, to this moment in time, Jon had been the one constant in her life she had always been able to rely upon. Now it was her turn to prove her constancy as days and weeks turned into months and years. No matter what, she promised herself. She was never going to leave.

It was an easy promise to make in return, one he knew he'd have no problem keeping, and though he already knew how she felt about him, it filled his heart with joy to hear it from her lips to his ears. He wrapped her in that same embrace, arms and legs tangled together, hearts beating in time with the other. He had fallen in love with her long ago when she was just a baby, though it had only been a little over a year ago for him. "I wish I was a poet so I could tell you how I feel in my heart." He could quote Shakespeare and nearly any classical playwright, but he could not quite find the words to express the depth of his love.

"You do tell me," she smiled, cuddling close into him as his arms wrapped her tighter. "Every day, in a thousand little ways, you tell me everything. That's why I don't need you to tell me, even though it's the sexiest thing that ever comes out of your mouth." She chuckled softly, adding one last thing. "You know when I knew you loved me" The second night we spent together. I woke up cold on the edge of the bed, you were all huddled up in the blankets, fighting off your nightmares. But when I touched you, you opened up your arms and pulled me in. Even in your sleep, even battling your own demons, you made a place for me. I stopped being scared that you weren't mine after that."

He remembered that night, knowing she had other memories of him that went back even farther, but maybe she hadn't known then, not for sure, even though she had loved him all her life. He had never told her when he had known she loved him, not in so many words. It was the night of the shooting - when his journey through her past had placed him at the hospital facing a grief-stricken Vicki - though the Jon that was lying in the hospital bed hardly knew her. Though he already knew that she loved him, he hadn't realized until that moment how much she needed him, how lost she felt without him. "I've always been yours, Vicki. You said it yourself. I've waited my whole life for you. There's no one else but you."

"And Emily," she added with an impish smile, laying her cheek against his shoulder. And fears or concerns about her perceived flaws were long gone, washed away in the tidal wave that was Jon showing her how little had changed between them. "And the other half dozen kids you wanted."

He chuckled at that comment, an arm wrapped around her shoulders to draw her close against him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, loving and protective. "Doesn't have to be a dozen. I'd be happy with a pair." Nothing had changed between them, and yet, they seemed to have grown even closer than ever. "Nothing and no one will ever take me from you, Vicki. I swear. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I always will." If she harbored any remaining fears, he hoped he dispelled them, if not with his promises, then with his actions. He was hers, completely and forever, and he was never going to let anyone come between them, so long as he lived.

She curled into him, the fears and upsets of the small hours wiped clean by the honesty they'd always shared, the rare ability to just talk to each other whenever something threatened to get in the way. Their night away might have been intended as merely a means to renew their intimacy, yet they had come through an unexpected storm closer to one another than they had been before. The only thing missing to make their little circle complete was Emily, and they would be back with her before the day was out. But for now, she wanted nothing more than to curl up with the man she loved, and wile away a few more hours in peace and calm, knowing to the deepest foundation of her soul that she was loved.

((Definitely wasn't expecting it to turn into a heart to heart, but hey, Jon and Vicki do some of their best talking naked! ;-) Loads of lovey-bubbles and thanks to Jon's player!))