Topic: Emotion Detector

Lirssa Sarengrave

Date: 2011-01-15 00:15 EST
It's true that love can change us But never quite enough Sometimes we are too tender Sometimes we're too tough ... Sometimes our big splashes Are just ripples in the pool -Emotion Detector, Power Windows, Rush

Lirssa tugged at her cap. The cold had its wicked fingers sneaking into any opening it could find. She turned up the collar of her peacoat, the school crest on her breast pocket clear to see. The messenger bag on her shoulder lighter than it usually would be when running messages, but her route from school meant only the tablet and two books were to be found in it. She tried to stay close to the buildings as she walked swiftly down the street out of the Stars End Sector and up towards West End once more.

The lights were turned down in the shipyard and the doors were locked up. It was good for the Barrister to get his hands back into working, even if it was for a few hours. Those calloused hands were stuffed into his pockets and the man started down the near empty streets, heading toward the Marketplace and home.

The scent of the wharfs were the first clue to her progress, her head tucked down against the shifting currents of the breeze bending around buildings like hounds coursing a rabbit. She rubbed at her nose and blinked up a moment to make sure she wasn't going to run headlong into a low hanging pulley or cargo haul. Or people for that matter. She did her best to just keep with the flow of the other souls braving the cold. Her thoughts were a little too consuming to appreciate the diversity of the city at the moment. Except somebody had some seriously pungent fish left rotting in their waste barrels, and it made her eyes water, "Oh yeegads."

Lucien kept his head down, brows knitted into a deep, pensive furrow as he walked. He paid no attention to the weather nor his passing surroundings. It was as if he didn't even notice the odors and occasional outbursts that came from some of the choice establishments. Finger tapped unseen in his pocket as if measuring the tempo of his gait.

There are, of course, some people whose walk is so familiar, the slope of shoulders, the color of hair, that even in a ruminating haze, Lirssa was drawn to them, like a compass points north. In time, her walk had her matched with a man also deep in thought, comrades marching along with thoughts as their task masters.

It isn't the big things that will catch one's attention. It is the small, subtle things that make someone pause....or draw them out. It was the near echo of his gait that first tugged at his consciousness. There it was, at his side, a faint echo of his foot steps. It teased him out of his musings and drew his attention to his smaller shadow. A brow quirked lightly. "Lirssa?"

It was her name, but it was a voice she had not expected. Good thing her legs were somewhat independent of her at times, for she kept marching along and blinked up at the man who spoke, only to burst out a big smile. "Mister Lucky!" The poor man's arm claimed now, her arm looping about it. The maelstrom of worries seemed to take a lull, and she hugged at his arm.

A grin ghosted at the corner of his mouth, easing the sober expression and the set of his brow. He wrapped his other arm around her to give her an embrace. "What are you doing in these parts, Lirssa" How have you been?"

She breathed in the steady calm of him and shared the hug. "I go to school now at Halstead in the Sector?" She answered, squinting up at him not sure he would know the place. "How're you? Bain't seen ya in forever, and your office said you were out of town. Did you have fun on your trip?"

A brow quirked at that revelation, and a nod quickly followed. He stole a glance around, not having paid attention to where he was going earlier, then his attention returned to Lirssa. "Where are you headed?"

Her mouth twisted up when he didn't answer the questions, but she gave a nod in the general direction of West End, but then wobbled it over towards the east side of town and then she just shrugged. She could smell the work on him. "You been at your shipyards?"

His other brow quirked as her destination shifted. "Yes, I am coming back from the shipyard. Went to check on it since I had been out of town." He canted his head in the direction he was heading. "You aren't sure where you are headed?"

"I'm sorta followin my feet." She scrunched up her mouth and looked up at him. "Got things in my head and goin home, just don't seem likely I'm gonna get them worked out there. Walkin is good for that. Where are you headed" I can make sure you get there."

"I'm heading home myself," he replied as he stopped walking. "But that takes you out of your way. And it is getting late."

She had to chuckle, "Mister Lucky, it's me, Lirssa yer talkin' to." And then she considered and fidgeted with the strap of her messenger bag. "I guess maybe yer right." She frowned and looked down at her feet again, then a showmanship smile, "Good to see you though. Reckon lotsa folks happy yer back in town."

"I know it's you, and that is precisely why I don't want you getting home late." He offered a strained grin with tempered humor. "You and I will both get in trouble for it." He watched her as she frowned, then offered up that salesman smile. "What is it that has you ready to walk to the other side of the world to figure out?"

If there ever was a father confessor figure in her life, Mister Lucky was it. "Adults." She grumped and started walking again with a kick of her heel against the walk. "I don't understand them at all. I'm nearly grown up, and still, nothin makes sense."

Hands slipped into his pockets again as he started walking alongside Lirssa. "You would think that things should make more sense as you grow older but it doesn't work that way. Things get more and more complicated the older we get."

"I guess. Seems like folks make 'im difficult. If I wanted to marry someone who shot me, you'd tie me up and throw me in a room until I came to my senses. But we're supposed to just be happy for her, even when she loses her mind and opens presents from strangers, and she with someone huntin her down that she won't tell anyone about." And so the flood gates opened. "And then Eless. She goes all blush and bat eyed and touchy and feely over some guy she barely knows a week, sleepin with him and such, and he's the rotten scum bag what treated Kendall all sour and awful growin up. Leastways on that one, Eless let me make a deal." She kicked at the broken free edge of a cobblestone, watching it skitter across the road.

He walked along side Lirssa in thoughtful silence for a bit, digesting what she conveyed. Finger tapped unseen in his pocket as he walked then stilled when he turned his attention from the piece of cobblestone she sent down the street back to her. "People do things we don't agree with and we don't like all the time. It will happen again and again, Lirssa." He took a breath and weighed the matter before speaking up again. "It was no different when Ali and Fio got married. They had barely known each other. Ali was living with someone else. He even had Fio investigated. Then the next thing you know, they are getting married in the inn."

She pouted, "I remember the wedding at the inn, was during that bad time. Didn't know 'bout the rest, well, leastways, not exactly. But, if I just am happy for 'em, am I really bein a good friend if I think what they're doin is wrong" Am I supposed to just pretend" What happens if things do go bad and I coulda stopped it by bein...all ...not happy about it?"

"Not many people who were close to them were happy about the marriage. It caused many problems and many wounds that have yet to heal," he offered in a manner of caution. "We all make some decisions that aren't the best for us. But we make them anyway. You've had your share of them too." Lirssa knew how true that was, and had the good sense not to say anything. Lucky continued. "I know I've made so many of them I've stopped tallying them," he added with a small shrug of his shoulder. "What do you think you can do, Lirssa" Lock Kate up and forbid her from marrying the guy who shot her" Begrudge Elessaria because she finally met a guy who actually makes her smile and laugh and feel wanted instead of bringing her sorrow?"

Her shoulders shrugged up at that, and she muttered, "Just don't want 'em hurt." Her hands, without their mittens, clutched together at her stomach. She could feel the sting at her eyes. "Why's everyone get to decide what?s right for me, and I don't get to do the same back?"

"I don't think there is anyone out there who wants to see loved ones get hurt, Lirssa. Do you seriously think I am happy about Kate and....," he waved his hand almost dismissively, "what?s his face" I'm not happy one bit. I don't trust him." He let out a resigned breath. "Is there anything I can do about it?" He shook his head. "Unfortunately not. As for you, M'Young Friend. You said it yourself. You are nearly grown up. You aren't grown up yet. And until that time, you will have others decide what?s right for you." He chuckled quietly then and shook his head. "Even as an adult, there will be many occasions when others decide what is right for you."

She tilted her head, looking sidelong up at him. "No one decides what?s right for you." Still with a big breath. "I'm gonna feel stupid bein all happy for them then havin to deal with it all goin bad." Maybe that was the heart of it. Being duped, looking foolish or stupid. She suddenly latched on to his arm again. "So, you gonna pretend to be happy for Kate, too' I already promised Eless I'd pretend to like Michael. Maybe if I pretend long enough, I'll like him."

He looked over at her as she latched onto his arm. At her query, he shook his head. "No, I am not going to pretend to be happy for Kate. And Kate knows that I don't trust him or like him. But Kate also knows that I will be there for her, and support her, even if I think she is making a mistake." He drew a deep breath and shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know this guy that Elessaria is with now. I don't know anything about him, so I don't know if I like him or not. I just met him yesterday. But what I do know is that Elessaria is happy. I don't think I've ever seen her smile as she did or laugh like she did when I saw her. And who knows, maybe he'll end up being an ass who breaks her heart. Or maybe he'll be the one for her."

She is thoughtful and quiet, her head resting against his arm. "Nobody will let me be there for them when things go wrong, so I guess I gotta pretend some more." A big breath that she released slow, ghosting into the shadows of their walk. "You know I'm there for you, right?" And then a beat, not even letting him answer, "Are you back?" Which might have easily been 'are you better"' from the tone.

He nodded. "I know, Lirssa. And knowing that you are here for me means more to me than I could ever convey properly in words." He continued walking with her in silence for a moment before he offered, not an immediate reply. "It isn't that no one lets you be there for them. And you shouldn't have to pretend or hide your feelings, Lirssa. But understand, we all have our places in the world and in life, and that changes as we grow. Adults and pre-adults alike."

"I guess that's so." A twist of her mouth once more. All her worries were still there, but in orderly boxes. Somehow, Mister Lucky knew just what to say to get things in a place where she could at least deal with them, even if with a sour note to her belly. On that, she asked, "Mister Lucky, do you think we could have a signal like if I'm speakin outta turn about folks" I do mean to try not to be spiteful, but it just comes out sometimes. So, you bein better at this and all, maybe have a signal so I know when I'm sayin the wrong thing?"

A quiet chuckle sounded and he glanced over at Lirssa with a wry crook of his grin. "I think you give me far more credit than I deserve. I have had many times when I have spoken out of turn." He paused and thought a moment before he offered, "One thing to remember that might help, Lirssa. Eventhough you want to say it and speak it...it doesn't always need to be said. Does that make sense?" He paused to try to put it into a context that she may better understand.

She thought about that. "I think folks might think I've gotten ill if I didn't speak everything that came to my mind." She tried to smile up at him, joking at her own expense, but then she nodded. "But yessir, I understand. I'll try."

That grin crooked again at her self-effacing remark. He nodded then. "Sometimes much more can be said with appropriate silence than with words. And far more poignantly."

Now that did take some thought. One could almost see the wheels turning. And then she tried it, and looked up at him very silently, wondering what might come of it if she just looked at him and said nothing. This, it could be said, was a challenge.

He regarded her as she silenced. The Barrister also settled back into comfortable silence and nodded in reply to her.

Hmm, tougher than she thought. She would have to practice.

The grin crooked at the corner of his mouth and he broke the silence first. "Come on, M'Friend. Let's get you home."

(from live play with many thanks to Lucky Duck)