The lights were on in the house, Kruger could see them from the road. He could see the children playing and the familiarity of it almost made him smile. His attention diverted though for the man who approached from just within the gate. Antonio was a large man, not so large as his brother Marcus, but of a nature that made him more dangerous. Kruger knew from his expression what his leaving had meant, and what his arrival would mean as well. He didn't shy away from the blow as it came, accepting it as he knew he should despite his instinct to roll to the side and unload on the taller man. He made no sound as the fist connected to his cheek and the smack of knuckle to cheek sounded across the yard.

Kruger dropped his burden from his shoulder, it wasn't a result of the punch merely an attempt to preserve his balance. Wheat colored eyes looked back up at Antonio who was already coming in for a second strike. He wouldn't flinch though, or give way or even go down. The second shot took him in the eye and he could feel the swelling even before the hand had come away. He staggered back from the blow, but never lost his feet. Instead he stood and simply quietly waited, perhaps this was his goodnight, his ending to the feelings that had been eluding him for so long now. Once he would have grown angry, defended himself and reminded Antonio why he was so dangerous.

The third punch was stopped by a huge hand, Marcus had wrapped around his brother's bicep. Kruger hadn't noticed the giant, he was so focused on Antonio's rage. It was clear that Marcus" grip was hurting his brother. Kruger knew Marcus would flay himself for it later, hating to use his strength in ways that hurt others. "There is no honor in killing a man who chooses not to fight Antonio." Marcus deep voice was surprisingly soft to any who had never met him.

Antonio's blazing glare turned on his brother then. "He deserves no honor"taking his life would be the honor." Antonio's voice carried and the children stopped their play. The two boys crowded the ironwork fence line peering out even as the girl ran to the house. Marcus however positioned himself between Antonio and Kruger looking down on his brother.

He still spoke with that quiet reserve that would make you believe him a coward though Kruger knew differently. "He would share that honor with you. Your wife would lose a husband and your unborn would lose a father. Better to let him live with his dishonor"live to suffer with his decisions." Antonio struggled in Marcus" grip obviously unable to pull away until Marcus would allow.

He must have loosened his fingers because Antonio snatched his arm away and started up the road cursing loudly in Italian the entire way. Kruger didn't move, still standing silently as Marcus turned to face him. There had been only one time that the smith had seen that expression on the face of the giant. Still he lifted his eyes to the man to let him say his piece. He had no illusions that Marcus couldn't crush him if he got a hold of him. Marcus of course would hate himself but Kruger with his last breath would still forgive. "I should let him hurt you?there has been a lot of hurt here since"I should hurt you myself but I don't want to get the taint on my hands."

Kruger wished he would, facing Marcus would be easier than what he was walking into. He didn't know where Gio was, and he wasn't asking. The fact was he was having problems remembering how to speak at the moment. He stepped forward bending to take up the backpack he had dropped. He stepped around Marcus since the man didn't seem inclined to finish the job. He tasted blood at the corner of his mouth from Antonio's first strike but it wasn't something he cared to think about. Behind him he heard Marcus boots on the road. "You have much to answer for, I hope you find your tongue soon"and know if she asks, I will make sure you never make it back to the city."

Kruger knew it was true even as he started up the drive to the house. They had been as loyal to him once. The spike of that was dulled with the knowing that Abri Nan Si lal and its inhabitants were protected. The open door had a familiar figure and one that would be more brutal than Antonio's fists or Marcus" words. Rochelle was watching his approach.

"Papa....papa! Unc has come home!" Sophie was panting for breath. She had run as fast as her little legs would allow, through the meadow.

Gio was working on the fencing at the northern part of the property. These day's, he kept to himself pretty much. The turmoil was a bit too much for him. Especially when dealing with Antonio, Marcus and the other's.

"Antonio, hit him, Papa..." The little girl's eyes were filled with tears. "Please come..." Grappling at his hand and tugging, Sophie was positively distraught. She was not one that could appreciate conflict in any fashion.

"Shh...shh...hush now.." The digger tossed to the ground, Gio reached down and scooped up the girl, at which point she threw her arms around his neck and sobbed as only Sophie could. Dear Saint's, she was such an emotional child. Her heart always so well placed. It was torture to know she was broken over this entire matter.

"Where is he now, Sophie?" Gio inquired against the shell of her ear.

Through her hiccup's, Sophie stammered. "H...he....went into....the....the....main house with...with Miss Rochelle...."

Gio nodded and gave her a tight squeeze. "Shhh, it's alright, you will see, it's alright.."

But was it' Gio should have gone to his friend, when all of this had started. But he did not. He had himself to blame for that. He knew Kruger not to be a selfish man. There had to have been cause for such a rash decision. It was anger that had kept Gio from going to the one he declared Brother so many year's ago and even on this day, he still referred to him as such...

"I'm going to take you to your momma, Sophie and then I am going up to the house. I want you to stay with her until I come back, do you understand?"

"Nooooo, papa....I won't..!" Sophie was like a locomotive in his arm's, it was all he could do not to drop her.

"Stop this, you are only making things bigger. Now you will do what I say, no if's, and's or but's..." He was stern with his youngest child. A sterness in which Sophie knew not to challenge.

Gio did as he said, depositing Sophie off at their cottage and made his way towards the main house where he would busy himself outside and remain much out of the way.

Did he expect her to blurt out how she was truly feeling" They would be there for the next 2 days, if that was the case. Did he want her to lie" To tell him she was feeling splendid. Absolutely splendid. Perhaps dark eyes told the tale when she looked at him, it was a simple instant that they filled and she glanced away to the bassinet. "I'm sure....you've come to see your son, mon amour. He is right there, sleeping and very healthy. He is an eager one when it comes to his feeding's."

He had hoped for more, for rage, anger. He had hoped for there to be hate for him in this place because that would confirm his beliefs about himself. He swallowed, biting back any other questions. Instead he moved to the bassinet, letting the breath go slowly that he had taken without ever realizing he was holding it. "He's strong" Healthy?" He let his eyes rest on Nikolai wanting to brush at the new skin, but knowing that the calluses in his hand would wake the child.

"Very. When he cries, it's with a vengeance and is already trying too hard to hold his head up." Shai, couldn't help but smile. "He reminds me of when you would be working outside, he's so intense." Glancing up to Kruger and then to her lap, the forever confidant one was so much at a loss, she knew not what to say, once again so without words in fear of making her husband dash away again.

But, there was one thing that was prominent...that was Nikolai. "Pick him up and hold him close, he needs your closeness...your scent." Her words whispered, it was her own breath that was now held, unsure if he would touch him...if he would allow himself to be that close.

He could feel himself being watched, he wasn't afraid reach for the child. He slid an arm beneath Nikolai, letting the palm of his right hand cradle the baby's head as he raised it into the crook of his left arm. "I have hammers heavier than he is." The little face struggled and stretched a bit before settling into his new position. "You have questions...ask, I will answer as I can."

Rising, Shai moved to the door and closed it. Question's, there were many, however, it was more of a statement that rolled from her tongue. "I simply wish I could understand how one moment you are looking toward the future of our family and then suddenly, you appear and state you will not be back. We took our vow's less than one year ago, mon amour. Less than one year. Our vows, our commitment to one another, it was all pretend on your part. In the time that we have been together, we have endured and risen above, right down to us traveling to the one place that caused you so much pain and reconciling bits and pieces. But you simply say, you cannot do this, you will not be back, I as your wife, deserve more that from you."

Again, the pretending, the charade, he said. By his account of it, she was the most ignorant person that had ever breathed. The line of her jaw tightened and she held his gaze. That same gaze that she had swam within and had no desire for it to be otherwise. Inside, she was shattering over and over, he declared it a facade.

"You can stand there and say what you will. I know better. I know who you are and I know what you are capable of. So you run, you escape because of your self declared unworthiness. You be the martyr that you have convinced yourself that you are. But when you decide to stop shattering the mirrors you are obsessed with looking into, you have a wife, a son, a family, a life that is lost without you. And in that same breath, do not forget to declare that you never loved me. This is what you want, I will not beg for otherwise, because in that, it would be false. If you no longer wish to be tied to me, you will make that happen, you will file for divorce. It will not be me, because what I committed to you is fierce and unbending, no matter what you think you deserve or not deserve. And this...."

Shai waved a trembling hand. "This home, Belglade....it will always be your home. All of them outside, they will always be your family. And Nikolai, he will always be your blood, your sweat and your tear's."

He held onto her face, his brows coming down over his eyes slightly. "Nikolai will always be my blood. This place, and the dream that it is will be carried by him...in time. Perhaps I am looking into mirrors I am obsessed with, breaking them because I can't stand what looks back at me out of them. I never will claim that this was any part of your wishes, or desires. Only that I had it good here, with you. I see the looks of those who know in the city. Believe that I expect more, that I accept responsibility for it all on my own shoulders. I know what you are saying Shai, I will think on how I move forward before anything becomes permanent." It was all he could promise her, the last of him that was unsure reaching out weakly.

Shai reached up and smoothed an errant tendril as she opened the bedroom door. She was shaking from the inside out and it was all she could do to maintain the propriety and grace, that was deemed necessary by her. "Feel free to spend as much time with Nikolai as you wish." Before he could respond, she closed it behind her and a slippered foot carried her downstairs and out the front door. There would not be another incident as the one with Antonio earlier, Shai would not stand for it. Kruger could see his child and venture to Belglade when he felt the need. If he ever did. Gio watched as she rushed by him towards the cliffs, but the sobs consuming her sprang to life over the breeze.

The flicker of the light told that it was produced by the forge fires only. He hadn't begun, not yet though he had been close. The iron never made the fire the bellows chain hung lifeless. A pair of wheat colored eyes fell on the familiar form of Shai. Kruger's eyes closed even as his hand went to the top of the anvil. He stood that way, using the cool metal as a focus. He knew this was coming even as he knew that he couldn't predict how it ended.

The times he breathed, then a fourth before speaking up. "You shouldn't be out at this hour?" Kruger let the statement fall away, he had given up the rights to those kinds of sentiments. "Is it Niko"or have you finally come to call me to task?" With one hand he reached behind him, the apron fell limp as the tie was loosened. With his free hand he pulled it from his neck and hung it up in its place. The hand that placed it staying put on the column that rose from floor to ceiling. He gripped it tightly though he couldn't say why.

Kruger's mind was racing over every question she might ask, every answer he could possibly give. He had run this moment through his mind a thousand times already. He had taken it to every outcome he could think of, so why was he so frightened of the next words out of her mouth' What would he do to stop her from talking" Could he" His head shook back and forth in tiny movements as he worked to steel himself. Physical pain was preferable to being here now. "My head tells me to keep talking, to just drown you out and never listen to what you have to say. It tells me that if I can do that you will grow frustrated and give up. I rarely listen to my own mind"ask what you will."

His fingers closed in over his palm, the only evidence of the tightness of the fist he was making visible in the flex of muscle across his forearm. His hand had stopped shaking though even as he felt the floor was dropping from beneath him and he was stuck in freefall. "I can't promise you the answers you hope for Shai."

Shai was entirely struck by the fact that her husband hadn't even said hello, he instantly had gone into a defensive mode and for the life of her, she could not understand why. When he took a step back, she remained exactly where she was. "I made the trip into town to tell you one thing and one thing only, that I love you." He gave her a small smile. That had never been in question to him. "I don't doubt your love. This doesn't make sense, I can't make it either." He might be able to make her understand eventually, when he could understand himself. He turned to look into the forge fires for a moment. "Have you ever seen fires grow so hot that you can barely look at them' Seen it and know that you can't go there? All around me I see these fires the hottest sitting on the grounds at Belglade, behind the gates at Abri nan syel la." His voice dropped to a whisper when he got to the haven in the clouds. "The love you feel burns, everything burns now." The smile had faded as the words came, just a slight upturn to one corner of his mouth now even as his eyes reflected the fires. "I am the one taking things away, forging something that requires everything from me...everything Shai and I can't take it where it doesn't belong. I can't turn from it either." "Oui...I have and I still do, I not only feel the burn but I face those flames every single day. I do not fight them, but I welcome them, for without those fires, I am not alive. I breathe not." Essentially, he had just admitted that everyone and everything about Belglade was to be avoided. Regardless of the way he had spun it. Shai could only nod for the final response. He had always made her feel as if she was some supernova inside, her organs made of constellations, her lungs full of stars. Even when she breathed her softest of mythology, it was their universe. Wrapping her arms about herself, Shai looked down and away, finally behind her to the door. Never had she felt so unwelcome, so unwanted, so...unwanted, but it was finally beginning to become a constant reality. She was going to ask him to please come home, to please allow her to walk through this with him. He would have refused her in an instant. She knew this. "I will leave you to you work, Kruger." "This is nothing Shai, this work, just small things an attempt to clear my head. I fell asleep, I fell so easily into old habits." He looked back up at her, not really knowing what he was asking for. "You needn't leave yet. We began here, did we not' That wasn't a simple few seconds. It's right that this take as long...longer perhaps." "I will stay, for as long as you wish it to be..." Quietly spoken, her reassurance there. "No, it wasn't a simple few seconds, as I recall..." A fraction of a smile there, she opted for his stool at that point and settled down onto it. "As I also recall, it was snowing....much like it is now..."

The flames in the forge caused the light to shimmer, and cast erratic shadows on the walls. "Belglade is still a good idea, it can still be realized. I'm glad you haven't closed the door on me completely, such is your right. I enjoy the time with Niko, though I don't think he understands a word I say." He gave the ghost of a smile to her wondering how they would make it work, but knowing it would be a step at a time.

"We all have our fate, Kruger. Each and every one of us. Good, bad or indifferent, we are each given that burden or elation." As he came closer, Shai regarded him gently, much like she always had.

"There are some days when I think you wish I would have closed the door. Perhaps, most would. I can't. You have gotten lost in my opinion. I feel as if you struggle with every breath you take, every step you set down. I see it as most would not as it creeps from your pores and threatens to drown you. It also kills me to know that there is absolutely nothing I can do, to relieve you or save you from yourself. No amount of convincing or trying to convince you that you are deserving, you are worthy, you are a wonderful man, will change that because you have to know firsthand for yourself and not the words of anyone else." While she spoke, there was a steady stream of tears that coursed down her face, to stretch from the line of her jaw.

"Niko will understand one day, the point is, that you talk to him the way that you do. I hear you at times, I listen so carefully and I cannot help but smile. And at the same time, I hope it gives you comfort to know that your son does hang onto your every word, even at his tender age." A fingertip was rounding her wedding ring, that unending circle of eternity. "The door will not close, I won't allow it."

He could perhaps shut down his own tears, pretend that the burn he felt was smoke from the fires. Hers were another matter though. "I don't ask for anything fair I have such gall to expect others to live with this. Yes part of me wants you to close the door, to let anger rule you and punish me as I might another who acted the same. I don't pretend that I even understand what is happening. Lost, I feel lost and then I start walking and realize that I am as lost now as ever. Do you remember how it was when we started? How I was; still lost though I had time to enjoy life in between. I wonder if that is what makes returning so difficult' I also realize that I can't really ever be the same now. There is someone whom I never looked for waiting for me. I don't believe you looked either. Maybe that was our point then Shai..." His voice trailed away even as he took another step closer.

Was she a glutton for punishment' Absolutely not. She was just a woman who looked at the entire picture, and not just the bottom right corner of it where everything was wonderful and didn't change.

"Does it make me out of my mind, if I am to say that if you pull me along with you, then that is what was meant to be? How we are supposed to unfold?" A slight tilt of her head at the touch, a breath was drawn and she positively felt the familiar of his calloused thumb pad.

"You can't fight the wind, Kruger or what is holds for you. You can only hope to understand what it finally holds for you and see if it answers questions and elements that have run ramped within you for many years. At that point, when the dust settles, you rebuild and if it takes you with it that is something you face when it happens. All of that I know seems impossible, but you have to force yourself to embrace YOU, before you can embrace anyone or anything else."

Reaching over to him, fingertips were trembling violently and she brushed the back of her hand down his cheek. "It isn't a small consolation, it is what it is, regardless of it being spoken or not. I did know." Then a fractional smile. "You're welcome..."

Kruger held his breath when her hand touched his cheek. There had been attempts to touch him consolingly. He had flinched from all of them, not wishing to be consoled or fixed.

This was where he wanted to be, his place of choice, funny how the one person who understood it best should be Shai. She who had the most right to be angry was the one who refused to be.

"Crazy' No, it isn't crazy, or at least I am not one who could call you such without naming myself hypocrite. The line between want and deserve is fine. I know you want to make that fall because you love me and feel it is your place. Because it means we are together and at the least that much seems to make sense. I don't know what happens Shai, not yet. There will be no barrister coming with papers, no surprise divorce on the horizon. We will discuss that before it happens...We've made our other decisions together haven't we?" He obviously didn't include this one though, but they were together now.

"I wish to not know in advance what our future holds. I would prefer to take it minute by minute, and what comes, does." Shai didn't withdraw her hand, it remained steadfast in an almost soothing fashion. "Together, perhaps facing what comes in a unified way, as it should be. We have always been skilled in taking things as they come, no matter the nature of them. Will you do something for me?"

"Nothing promised Shai, just now that is what I have. It is what you say is best too, the now. I feel the emptiness too, though it is my own doing." He had grown used to her over time, it stood to reason that she needed him as well, even in this small simple way.

"There are always nights that travelling isn't possible, and I have never had to hide words from you. It may take me a while to figure them out from time to time but once done they flow easily." He couldn't say where he would be comfortable until it happened. Winter was unpredictable so close to the sea.

Tipping her head back, Shai searched his gaze a long moment and nodded. "No promises. We have now. Each minute." Repeating what he said, what she said, they were on the same page. Perhaps for the first time in quite awhile. Leaning up slightly, a tender kiss was placed to the spot beneath his eye. "May I kiss the corner of your mouth?" So very whispered, she was also hesitant, much like she knew he was. Her arms steadfast around him, melded together in such a mutually understanding and tenacious embrace.

Kruger didn't trust his voice, he didn't trust anything anymore that had to do with his own decisions. He let too much go perhaps, or maybe he just was never strong enough. He shook his head though it was killing him to deny her. "I'm just not sure Shai, it would be too easy to fall into those habits. Just hold on please, an hour...two perhaps. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't need to open quickly." He was giving her all he knew how to at the moment and knew that it wouldn't be enough.

Shai smiled and was actually relieved by his words, relieved in the sense of him being absolutely honest with her, when he could have very easily given in. That was strength. That was a strength she needed desperately from him. Shifting up a wee bit, the hold she took on him would have been considered fierce, from someone of her stature, but it was there and she had no intention of letting go.

"Thank you for being secure enough with me, for your honesty to shine through. I won't let you go. You have my word..." It was there they would remain, quietly or not, amongst the crackle of the melding pots.

"What a pleasant surprise, Mrs. Allen. I was just thinking about you a couple of days ago!" It was Mr. Giles. A Solicitor she had business with at one time or another in the past.

"So good to see you, Mr Giles. It has been sometime." They proceeded to have polite conversation, talk of the child, of Belglade, it just went on and on. But still, every now and then, she would glance through the window pane.

Kruger pressed the fingertips of one hand to his forehead. He hated book work but felt the need to refresh his memory on a few points.

A turn of the head showed Shai just outside. His smile cut off his frustrated sigh. He gave a nod though she seemed to be deep in conversation with someone. Kruger's arms went over his head as he stretched until his spine popped.

He waved for her to come in and join him if she wished. A small gesture that he wasn't sure if she would abide. The look on her face spoke of either uncertainty or a need to be rescued...maybe it was a touch of both' He couldn't be sure yet but soon enough he would know. If she lingered he would go to her.

It was just as the gentleman was beginning to speak to her about a rumor he had heard of her Shai reopening the Salon in Rhydin, that slender brows began to pinch in confusion. "I think I would be aware of this if it was going to happen, I assure you there are no plans for such things at this point."

Mr Giles seemed almost visibly disappointed and nodded quickly. A touch of Shai's fingertip fluttered across his arm. "If you'll excuse me, Sirrah....my husband is waiting for me inside. It was glorious to see you, please give your Lady my best."

And without waiting for his response, she swiveled on a heel and ducked inside amongst the stacks and door bell's sounding.

Giving herself a little shake, she noted the Solicitor giving Kruger a tip of his head and he meandered away. While it was snowing and blustery outside, it was warm to a fault inside. Taking a moment to relieve herself of the coat worn, she gave it a shake and draped it across her arm while heading in the Blacksmith's direction with an almost look of thick amusement upon her feature's. Amusement indeed.

"You look forlorn, Mister Allen, trapped in a mountain of books..." Her words coming at a hushed whisper, mirth riddled, but a whisper.

Kruger's head tilted at Mr. Giles. It was odd lately to be acknowledged by anyone not a customer. The closing door blocked the man from view and let him watch as Shai approached.

Nodding as he spoke, Shai was genuinely interested as she always was. His chosen line of work having always fascinated her, something that was not kept to the skeleton closets. Flipping through a couple of the pages, it spoke of copper mixes with sulphate. Shai assumed it had to be so to not destroy the kiln. Glancing over to him, she smiled.

"Tamahagane, that is Japanese and made of iron and sand. They use a tatara for it." She was out of sorts because having a child that nursed a thousand times a day had certain fleshy attributes, cracked and bleeding and so very painful. But she would not speak on it. "I will keep that in mind the next time it is needed, thank you."

It was simply a subject that was best kept to herself. "You should gather up your books and ride out to Belglade for dinner, if you wish. It would give you a place to stretch out and read." The invitation was there.

He gave an easy smile and a nod. "Yes, I intend to have those who wish to attend learn by creating for themselves. It will be a difficult first week for me. I won't sleep until the Keru is completed."

He considered the offer for a moment before gathering up the volumes. "I would like that I think, it will allow me to do more with the ride. I had planned to make the trip shortly but the books would have stayed at the forge." He started to rise so he could pack them into a leather bag for carrying. "You're sure it won't be...an intrusion?" He offered her a hand to stand with. He wasn't going to say that he hadn't been keeping track of his meals.

"Never an intrusion, it is your home..." Taking his hand, she rose and pulled the coat back on, as well her gloves. Shai had never asked where he was staying, it had never occurred to her to do so and was still under the impression he was living at the forge.

Assured he had picked up everything, she headed to the door with him. Then offhandedly. "It would seem there is some rumor milling about that I am reopening the Salon here, according to Mr Giles. I truly wish some would tend to themselves and not such nonsense."

The storms are raging on the rolling sea... And on the highway of regret.... The winds of change are blowing wild and free...

While it snowed quietly outside, the main house was full of scents and sounds that threatened to titillate the senses and wrap the body in a warmth that was comparable to none.

Kruger was upstairs' with Niko, Rochelle was in the kitchens cooking as she always was. Sophie was present that evening as well. The child had begged her father to allow her to stay over the night. You see, she was aiding Rochelle in the preparation's for their Yule celebration. Gio had finally given in with a chuckle and gave his princess what she so desired.

Perched atop the chaise, Shai was busying herself with a stack of paperwork and was immersed in the written word. It was getting late and as she rose, silk robing was pulled tightly around her frame and she headed up the stairs.

Over the last weeks, Shai's emotional status had become just that. A status. So, it was when she heard Kruger speaking to their son, she had leaned there just at the door frame and listened. He spoke to Niko with such passion, conviction, perhaps even a lot of misunderstanding of himself. Tragic and near fore lorn, it pulled at her very core that she could not take it all away and give him the peace he so required. So deserved.

Did she see her husband as dishonorable" Absolutely not. She saw him as having no choice but to fight with this inner turmoil, these deep rooted demons that seemed to take him over and left him gasping for life.

Many perhaps would never understand, why she stood by him, even through the mind piercing pain that seemed to come from him. But did it truly come from him' Or did it come from a place that could never be imagined, even in the most wild of all dreams"

Shai loved this man, loved him in such a way that bordered on the line of being almost masochistic in a sense, to the untrained eye. Those eyes bore little consequence to her. She would not change anything other than the pain and turmoil he always seemed to be blanketed in. She would be there at every turn, if he so chose to allow her such. When he stepped from the flame, she would shroud him and ride out the wave that threatened to consume them all.

Marriage was not picking and choosing what a person wished to deal with. It was the good, it was the bad. Through the bad, the bond either broke or it became so cemented in place that nothing could threaten it. So many, at the first sign of issue, tucked tail and ran. Refusing to even consider the fact that all is not as it truly seems. There was more. Peel back the layers, find what hides beneath and allow it into the open. Did this lack hurt' Not in any context. But there must be strength and resolution that it will be overcome regardless if that matrimonial declaration, remained intact.

When all went quiet, only then did Shai peek into the suite and noted Kruger asleep there against the wall, with a small smile tugging at her lips. Careful in her footing, she shut the door and closed the distance to the bassinet, peeking in on Niko. Sound asleep and suckling at his lower lip, a caress met his cheek and she turned to tug up the afghan from the end of the bed. Draping it carefully over Kruger, a pause given as he shifted slightly with a grunt.

Extinguishing each lantern's light, lest one, it kept the shadows at bay but offered just enough light to see as she prepared herself for bed.

Slipping between the sheets, what she wouldn't give to have his arms around her, just once. How she missed his touch, his breath across her skin. How she longed for him to fill every crevice of her, with his scent. Instead, it was his pillow she wrapped lithe limbs around and drifted to sleep as tear's left her own pillow damp. Perhaps, there would be peace and contentment this night.

They were together....

This was the very last thing Shai ever wanted to do and all it would take, is for him to say anything to change her mind. Even though he had abandoned her emotionally, she felt horrid that she was in essence, now leaving him. Shai had thought, that if the Blacksmith was given a release of all that plagued him, he would realize he was in fact worthy of a happy life. He was worthy of the life HE had chosen, when HE declared his desire and passion to build a family, to build something that was rightfully his. With her.

"If you have no objection, I will be returning to Greece in the Spring, with Nikolai."

He wasn't sure what she expected, it was hard to see her cry. It always had been, she had rarely displayed it to him. "You want to take Niko?" It wasn't all he had heard, truth is he wanted to try and work backwards along this slippery path. "Have I not been coming to see him often enough to suit' If this place is not where you belong sell it, find your place. Perhaps you believe your place is Greece?"

His brows descended over his eyes angrily. "I've never stopped you from doing what you think you must. I can't really stop you now. You would say if I have no objection, except that I do and I am sorry if it isn't the one you want. How will I see him there Shai" I am not ashamed of my child, leaving him to be raised alone by you....that is for others." His mouth closed with an audible click as teeth set and muscles in his jaw locked it that way. He swallowed hard, and took deep breaths through his nose.

Kruger's hands came away from his chest quickly the urge to grip something tightly had them wrapped around the banister nearby. "I know I only make this harder for you. I also know you never seemed weak to me. Maybe you need time" Time away from here, from memories of....everything." He had been about to say 'me' but couldn't quite manage it.

"If you make this permanent for yourself, it will never be for Niko. I want him too....Is this meant as a cruelty Shai" Some revenge for walking out?" The hollowness just seemed to grow in him the more he considered what she was asking for. "I'm sure I deserve this and more. I'm sure I will pay over and over again. Spring....His christening....and then you go?" His eyes were burning, and no matter how hard he tried to keep the set to his jaw, it refused to obey him.

Kruger turned away and started down the steps. He managed to get to the third on down before turning back and looking at Shai again. "You ask me what I expect from you? I never expected anything, and always got more than I hoped for. What do I expect you to do now" I expect you to live Shai, to make yourself happy when you can. I suppose finally, I expect the offer to be made to Niko of an apprenticeship when he turns seven. There are things only I can teach him." "You leave all things up to me, Kruger and in my lap. You didn't wish to discuss your belief's in his christening or not. You are his father and have every right to state what you feel is best. I expect that. I require that. But you do not feel as if you should, or whatever the case may be. What has happened between you and I, as husband and wife, has nothing to do with Nikolai or is upbringing."

As upset as he was growing, so was she and when he turned his back on her to walk down the step's, Shai followed after him. "I am not scooped hollow, there are day's when I wish I was. I almost envy your ability to walk away, it perhaps would make it much easier."

"This was supposed to have been US making these decisions, TOGETHER. Not apart and not from opposite ends of the spectrum. That was what WE wanted. If you wish for me to remain here with him until he reaches a certain age, speak it. If you could give two figs, state it. There has to be some compromise, and walking away is not going to change that. But that is what you wish to do, you wish to walk away and not deal with it. I tire of the running you do. Turn and face this, as we have an entire lifetime of being in each other's lives because of this child we would give our very breath for. Give me something tangible, instead of what you think you -need- to do, why isn't it what you -want- to do. Is your heart that closed, even to your son?"

"Beliefs Shai" I have thousands of beliefs, all of them wanting to control what?s left of this....Whatever it is I am. I can't pick one, and say any of it is right or wrong. I don't feel strongly about religion, I don't care much for gods who use us for their gratification. I do believe all of them are that way." He could feel her at his back, how long since they had been heated at one another. He honestly couldn't recall the last time. Not even when he had wanted her to be.

"I want to be with Niko, I can't make a move to Greece, or Venice. You speak of the word need like somehow it means something different to me. It is a need over a want, I wanted things Shai and I failed. Fine though, I want to be part of his future, I won't let it boil down into the meanings of similar words." He had never denied that all blame was his, this wasn't the same thing though. She wanted to leave, he felt guilty because she was simply trying to give herself what he sought. The ability to live with herself everyday and not be reminded.

Shai stared at him like he was a complete stranger and by all account's, he was. This man she had shared such love, adoration, passion, fire, honor, loyalty and an unstoppable desire was unknown to her and in that moment, it became crystal clear. He would never understand what he did to anyone, much less his wife.

His words of moving up his "trip", if there was to be no christening of his son in Rhydin, only managed to infuriate Shai.

He was so cold.

He was so unforgivably selfish. "By all means, move up your schedule."

Finally, there was only one thing left to say. "Goodbye, Aristotle."

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