(I split this out of the music folder because it didn't seem like the right place for it. Please feel free to post your own creations here. I understand if you don't, copyright issues or whatever. Mine will be here.)

(I know that this thread is meant for music. What is in the body is not a song, not a real one anyway. Some may think they know what it means, others may actually know, but I would be surprised by that. I will be editing this piece as I have the heart to work on it. Please if you have opinions on it put them in OOC Chatter. I would ask that you be kind, and assume nothing. I have put some of this into a letter thread in of swords and Silk...it was easy there because there it isn't real, and it is only in part. This may be the hardest post I have ever placed, as it is very real to me. There is no music to this, I don't have that talent, I wish I did. I have received one favorable comment from Reap's player, sorry he got the preview...Thanks bro!!)

Untitled~ Lyrics by Me

(v1) Did I say something to hurt you? Is that why I feel shame" Your silence can't protect you from me. How do I make it feel the same"

(ch. 1) Well you give, I take. While I was dreaming, I must have left you awake. You've soothed my every whisper, and I can't give you peace. Darlin" do what you have to; scream my name you'll be released! (Scream my name you'll be released!) Rage against me angel; make me feel your pain Rage against me darling, make me want in vain.

(v2) Have I ever given pleasure" Or did I cause you only pain" I can remember your secret smiles. Will you ever bring them back again?

(ch. 2) Well you ask; I'll beg. Your voice is what I crave, those vibrations through my head. I know I am unworthy, I know that I have failed. But I can't make myself say I'm sorry, I'm sure my feelings seem so staled! (I'm sure my feelings seem so staled!) Rage against me angel, I have made you cry. Rage against me darling, can't you see it in my eye"

(v3) Does no one hear me whisper" Has my sorrow filled the night" Would any still take pity on me" If they knew I don't want to make it right.

(ch3) Well you cry; I'm cold You gave me everything and still I asked for your soul. I left you standing, just an empty shell. I shattered you to pieces. Who am I to put you through this hell" (Who am I to put you through this hell") Rage against me angel, hurt me to the bone. Rage against me darling, then leave me here alone.

(v4) Did I say something to hurt you? Is this how it ends" So many troubles stand in our way now. How can we ever make amends"

(ch. 1a) Well you give; I'll take I'll still be sleeping you'll still be awake Though you'll soothe my every whisper again, you'll never get that peace. So do what you have to, tell me now you'll be released. (tell me now you'll be released) Rage against me angel, come on make me cry Rage against me darling, is this how we die?

Wrote something new today, random and unexpected...short and possibly sweet.

In the brambles I make my bed upon nettles and spikes I lay. You surround me with vibrant collors yellow and purple to break the grey. You dance for me just out of view, your tinkling laughter fills my night.

I know...it's silly.

D~there can be only one...thank all that is holy.

3 A.M. and I'm sitting here left all alone, trying to figure out just what went wrong. It wasn't long ago everything seemed to go my way. Theres an ache in my chest that I can't describe. And I wonder how to stop feeling I am wasting your time. Tell me my dear ain't it just true you don't need me?

Well we cut off the power turned out the light there in the dark we couldn't tell what was right. Here in th dark I sit alone no one sees me. I sit here believing I am just a pest wondering frantically what I do next My lovers are gone still I have this song I don't want it.

Now when the silence takes over the room I spend my time thinking of you. Wondering why it's your name I cry I know you can't hear which just makes it clear you don't need me.

Well I don't want to start again down the same path You said that you'd care then you turned your back I'm not very strong, I've known all along you don't need me.

(okay..done for now)

Can not, touch the, one I need. Can not, feel her, when I bleed. I know darkness and all its lies. You take all things and set me aside!

I can take the pain I feel I can re-di-rect into steel I know shadows I've seen its eyes. It offers me things I buy.

Hanging by a thread. Rolling in the dead"of night. He knocked me down I bleed but I get up again!

From the darkness I saw his eyes They flash redly with cruelest smile Blackness from above White beneath, he shoves.

Hanging by a thread. Rolling in the dead"of night Scratching for my place. I told you I would face"you.

The hag she says you'll see the light. Stone seat, she don't, speak for wrong or right. I can't touch the one I need. The one who on my soul would feed.

Hanging by a thread. Rolling in the dead"of night. You thought that I was down. But I am still around.

Your face disgrace you ask so mean. No fear in here I think I have come clean. I need you in me. And you can't take my life!

Hanging by a thread. You'll never see me dead"that's right. You won't give me what I need. My turn to"make you bleed.

I know I'm not supposed to see. Looking at you looking at me. Who are you to watch' What could your interest be?

Silently you slipped away. Silently you slipped away. Silently you slipped away. I stab at the place where doubt lives.

Strange how familiar it all seems. How much love can one find" None where there is doubt. I stab at the place where doubt lives.

Piercing pain and cutting strokes. Anger's past in blackened blood. I stab at the place where doubt lives. Sweet is the kiss of the knife. Ecstasy in razor's edge. Slicing flesh and cutting bone. I stab at the place where doubt lives. My once perfect heart, Beating now, Laboring in uncertainty. I stab at the place where doubt lives. Silently you slip away.

Silently'slip?away'stabbing'doubt. Live!

Your smile breaks my heart. We knew it all along. When you are away Even for a day. Your smile breaks my heart.

Tell me have you had enough" Tell me is the going rough" Cuz when you are away, Even for a day You know your smile breaks my heart.

Honey is it killing you? Knowing what you put me through. You have to go away. Each and every day. So why's that smile break my heart"

They tell me that you have no choice. But I can hear it in your voice. Each time you go away, Ending every day. You know your smile breaks my heart.

Tell me is he good to you? I don't know what I should do. Each time you walk away And I want you to stay. You know your smile breaks my heart.

You are my castle in the sand. I should have built on higher land. The tide rushes in waves Washing you away. And then your smile breaks my heart.

Listen then, I won't ask you to betray. Where I see hope, it's just another day. Are you full of thoughts about guilty feelings? Lay your head down and listen to me breathing.

They say things like this happen all the time. We can't be blamed for the hotels in our minds. When the spirits strong the bodies weak. When I'm with you I look, never to speak.

Hidden smiles and secret glances. Deep inside I know my chances. Time's against us, we've no fate. You're too early, I'm too late.

Do nothing you can't face. Alone at night I'm going to find our place. You take the day and I'll rule the night. holding on there is no wrong there is no right.

What have, you done to me" I was frozen, in agony. Happy, to be in pain,

Now I don't want to feel that way again.

When you, say my name, You take, a piece of me. Losing, more day by day,

I know this is how it supposed to be.

I'm bent, beneath my needs Get close, catch the disease. Packaged, for all to see

A suitcase full of misery.

I can't forget, what it means to be Alone, in a world that's free. Anger, seeps into bone.

Turning thoughts to hate and heart to stone.

What have, you done to me" Anger, indignity. Happy, to be in pain,

I don't want to feel this way again.

Last time, was meant to be The last time, for me you see. On my knees, and head bowed down.

While I beg the earth to be underground.

My heart, wears a crown of thorns. Deep wounds, and bloodstained floors. Bodies, behind me lay.

Why didn't you take the hint and stay away"

Bitter, the herbs I serve. Empty, what I deserve. Standing, in darkest night

Closing my eyes won't unsee the sight.

What have, you done to me" Desperate, for your company Frightened, of being alone

What happened to this heart of stone?

My tears, are left unshed. My heart, it aches instead. Yearning, for what you have.

It feels good but I know it's bad.

I don't, care what they say. I want, you anyway. Almost, you make me believe.

If you come to me there's no reprieve.

I lift, eyes to you. Unshuttered, seeing true. Burning, me with your light

If I lose the dark will I be all right"

What have, you done to me? Visions, of what could be. Place me, where I don't belong.

Instead of being hard I will be strong.

Walk the road alone again. I cannot see around the bend Crossroads coming and I'm thinking. Should I go where hearts leading And turn from the echoes of my life Left or right"

Listen to the song of Sirens

Please don't tie me to the mast! Ulysses pains have come and passed. I can't hear Ithaca's calling Waves upon the hull beating. On the rocks, in the distance, dwells my heart Shattered parts.

Resting in the song of Sirens.

Time behind me greater than What's left til the journey's end. There is still so much to give. So much life to live. And I, will offer while I can. Take my hand!

We'll dance to the song of Sirens.

(I just don't know...there could be more to this. How bout when I can think straight again?)

April's gone. It left no trace. How long did it hold on and keep me in this place? All I know, is that April's gone.

I lost the time I lost your face. It took so long for me to find a trace. But now, April's gone.

Stranger in my mind Stealing parts of me Willing victim, With a soul that is too kind. Thankful because, April's gone.

(WIP)

The darkness taking you again I failed you long before I began. Lost in forever.

How do I change those memories" Show the love you deserve from me" I was your defender.

Close your eyes, What do you feel" Is it me" Am I with you? Or just a dream" I know I was wrong girl. How and why, Could I leave you? So traumatized.

You have never let me down. Even when my head was turned around. You thought me worth it.

Cuz I was something, in your sight. You reached through shadows, giving me new life. You're my savior.

Close your eyes, What do you feel" Is it me" Am I with you? Or just a dream" I know I was wrong girl. How and why, Could I leave you? So traumatized.

I want you to know you're my best friend.

I don't want the two of us to end.

Close your eyes, What do you feel" Is it me" Am I with you? Or just a dream" I know I was wrong girl. How and why, Could I leave you? So traumatized.

Close your eyes and tell me what you feel.

What will it take for you to heal"

So traumatized.

My room is growing dark again. Shutters cover over window pane. Blocking sun's light outside. Cutting me off from my foolish pride. Tell me another beautiful lie.

The roads take me far from home. Leaving you to feel so alone. Yet you know when I'm back That my bags never get unpacked. It's just another beautiful lie.

My emotions spread too thin. Stuck on things that could have been. Clinging to the neon skies. Afraid to ask you any why's. Living on in beautiful lies.

If I wanted simple, I'd make you to blame. I wouldn't remember anything, I'd cry out another's name.

I told you a secret, You told me a lie. I was standing for my judgment, I saw the future in your eyes.

Do I know, What is right" Loving you is shooting stars, We burn out in the night.

We chase each other, Choose a dream. Silent lovers, And you know what I mean.

Your feelings are clear. How far can we go" When I'm really hurt, Will you want to know?

I don't care, No not tonight. You're the morning baby, Bathe me in your light.

There can be no choices, No turning from the path. I'll make love to your voice. But I will never hold you back.

The world's greatest liars, Tell me ignorance is bliss. That would have me never knowing, The beauty in your kiss.

I know I can't have you, Not even for a day. Let me burn forever, Honey there is no other way.

I will keep holding on, Until the world is gone.

Here and now, I think of you, And all you mean to me. I was taking the road to nowhere, Well I thought that I was free.

Time stands still, And I can't turn away from you. Angels cry, Because I miss the very breath of you.

Almost gone, It was close, Nothing mattered nor did I. I stood on the edge of nowhere, And watched rainfall from the sky.

Time stands, And I still can't turn away from you. Angels cry, I guess they see more than I do.

Did you know, As feelings grow, That I get lost deeper in your eyes" I think I've found the road to somewhere. I'm giving it a try.

Times stands still, I won't turn away from you. Angels cry, Because they know I'll follow you.

Follow where you lead. Turn your gaze on me!

Do you believe something's there For you and me, for you and me"

Here and now, I think of you, And all you mean to me.

My friend, I'll send, You everything, Be with you till the end.

You know, It hurts me though, So I'll play tough. Say I'm all right when you have to go.

I hold my breath, Keep my voice low. The world outside Don't get to know.

Please forgive me my friend. I don't want this to end. My heart is gone But the place is still warm.

Blue skies, over Fields of green. And it was beautiful Before thunder brought in the rain.

Storm cries, Lightning, rages high. I have you though. And the memory of your eyes.

Secret am I, Live it for you. And I don't mind, What it makes me do.

Empty space in the night, When I turn out the light. I can't sleep my love, Knowing he's close to you.

I wait, Anticipate, For our time. And the moment you say my name.

I'm wrong, Time's soon gone, and you go away, I want to shout out stay.

I hold my breath, Keep my voice low. The world outside Don't get to know.

Empty space in my bed, Where it once held your head. It still remembers you, My darling I do too.

It still remembers you, And baby I do too.

They don't, understand, how we are. Lovers hand in hand. Tangled lives, and worried eyes, Watch me close. While I tell all of my lies.

I've been told to forget you. Tell me I'll burn, I already do. Where are they in the night, when I turn out the light" I'd be alone for them, except I have you. I was alone, until I found you.

My bitter words, your feelings stirred. You're afraid though, don't trust the sweetness you have heard. You're lips, say my name, There's a tremor in your voice. Will your soul ache, will it feel that pain again?

I woke up on a path feeling tired. We found each other there. Two friends united. How could we know, We would be lovers?

I've been told, to forget you. They say I'll burn, I already do. Where are they in the night' Hiding from my cries. I'd be alone for them, honey I have you. I was alone my love, till the moment I found you.

To him I'm compared, I know that your scared. What he did to your light, Can't just be made right. Come with me now, we'll start it over.

I've been told, to forget you. Don't tell me I'll burn, I all ready do! Where are they in the night' Cuddled safe out of sight. Won't be alone for them, baby I need you. I'm not alone my love, I'm reaching out to you.

Don't compare your words to my hand. Convey your message and I understand. We'll be together.

I never want to see the day, When there is nothing more for us to say. My best friend ever.

Your words so perfect, they move me. You're the rain girl, I'm the sea. Just keep talking, You fill me. I feel your need.

You say things that free my soul. My heart has never been more whole. Not since forever.

My head was buried in the sand. You called my name girl, I'm your biggest fan. We have each other.

Your words are perfect, don't you see" You're the leaves girl, I'm the tree. You know, without you, I can't breathe. I need to breathe.

I see your words, I don't have to pretend.

Within me this feeling never ends.

Your words so perfect, they move me. You're the rain girl, I'm the sea. Just keep talking, You fill me. I feel your need.

Your words are perfect, don't you see" You're the leaves girl, I'm the tree. You know, without you, I can't breathe. I need to breathe.

I feel your need.

I see your words, I don't have to pretend.

Within me this feeling never ends.

I need to breathe.

I have words, stuck in my head If I don't write them down I'll wish that I had. I should give up, Is it time to stop and just forget"

Swollen rivers, send flood waters, to the bay. Makes me wonder if There's life without rain" Funny how mud thickens like blood Can I forget"

Well you said you loved me, you can't take it back. My feelings aren't something, you pulled of the rack. No one has touched me, not like you have.

Touch me, trust me See me, just me.

Moonlight saw me sitting, alone once again. I tried to remember, how to call you friend. I can't make my mind erase, All of those things, I don't want to forget.

Tell me darling, How much of its true" Did I really mean, that much to you? You promised me nothing, And nothing is all that I get.

I can't figure out, if I'm angry or sad. I don't want to make you, feel this bad. We were forbidden, Covered and hidden. Don't forget.

Well you said you loved me, you can't take it back. My feelings aren't something, you pulled of the rack. No one has touched me, ever like you have.

Touch me, trust me See me, just me.

Precious eyes, always smile, when they look at me. How can you make me feel wanted, then set me free" We both warned were when we began, pain is the price, I'd pay it thrice, Won't forget.

You told me I can keep speaking of, My feelings for you, all of my love. How is that fair" Will your words be there" Did you forget"

Well you said you loved me, you can't take it back. My feelings aren't something, you pulled of the rack. Needed you to touch me, just like you have.

Touch me, trust me See me, just me.

Not gonna, just stand by, and give you up. I heard your voice, I remember it well. Do you recall, how hard, it was to say" Three little words, that you can't take away. Won't let you forget.

Me, trust me Oh, me, just me

How do I make you feel tonight" Do I give you what you need" If I turn to you is that all right" Or will I always cry tears that bleed"

Every day I want you more But the end is never in sight. What am I holding on for" Should I just give up or fight"

There are no songs to sing That give me everything. There is no way To tell you all there is to say.

Does your world have the space for me" Will your hands ever touch the face of me" When I sit alone, in my room at night. Tell me, should I give up or fight"

I am not the first, but I'll be the best. You have much to give, I can do the rest. I have to find a way To tell you all I have to say.

I remember a lonely night When the world turned away. Emptiness was all I had in sight. And I couldn't escape the grey.

Right or wrong, I thought about the end. There was nothing here, for me to defend. I found nothing in the darkness to deny. Funny what you can accept, when you close your eyes.

There is a place I go, Where I can see your face. If I keep my voice low. I get lost in your grace.

Does your world have space for me" Or should I close my eyes" I just don't want to see, What you look like when you deny.

Even if I die every night. I won't give up my fight. Tell me darlin" will there ever be, Space for me?

I see your eyes, with every thought I follow. Open wide, and watching over me. You don't have to try, and I don't need a memory. I want you here, don't want to set you free. It's too late, to save myself from falling. Or to worry about, the place where I will be. I don't have time, to wonder if I'm right. A leap of faith, knowing that you'll catch me. You are the one, with no doubt in me. No matter how thick the fog, somehow you can always see. I'm just a shadow in the night, that never leaves. Don't ask me for what?s right, say what you want to be. I can't fight, feelings I can't define. Romantic candle light, and moments that we steal. Don't disregard me, just take your place in my arms, where it's warm. The emptiness I have, it needs you, oh refill me. You are the one, with no doubt in me. Freedom is a lie, and love is never free. I'd pay any price, cause I believe. Don't ask me for what?s right, say what you want to be. You are the one, with no doubt in me. From you I cannot hide, you know you always see. If I'm a shadow tonight, please don't make me leave. Don't ask me for what?s right, say what you need from me.

I talk to you of thoughts I have, before I go to bed. The darkened empty room, remembers every word I said. Keeping every noise you make, on your end of the phone. I give you every assurance I have, that you'll never be alone.

I want to ask you why, but it's making me insane. I always want your time, in conversations unrestrained. When you tell me that you love me, it fills that empty space. I never had a doubt my love, not the smallest trace.

I heard you say, Words that make me swallow. I heard the words that, I always knew, were true.

It's so hard now, to think of you, in the situation you're dealing with. If you thought that this would tear us apart, it's time for you to think again. Do you remember that first time we stayed up late at night" The hours seemed to fall away, no matter how hard we would fight.

You know to hear you talking to me, inside does resonate. Playing on my heart strings, leaving me up in a state. So I find when I am gone from you it's still there in my mind. I'll do whatever it takes now to never leave you behind.

I know your ways Today and tomorrow. Can you see, everything I do for you, is true"

Show me your face, Let me take your sorrows. Show me your dreams and doubts, and I'll come through for you.

I know your sad love, but I ask you to be brave. You've done so much for me that can never be repaid. If you ever thought I wouldn't understand. I heard your voice falter, and I offered you my hand.

My darling only you can make me go away. The light inside you shines so I can barely see. Can you see how much you mean to me?

I heard you say, Words that make me swallow. I heard the words that, I always knew, were true.

Show me your face, Let me take your sorrows. Show me your dreams and doubts, and I'll come through for you.

I've been let down, been abused I would have sworn to god I've paid my dues. Just because the shots come out of nowhere Doesn't take away my words to you. I held on, while my world crumbled Now I'm trying to catch my breath I'll let you have your way, Have your way.

Tell me how, You ever thought my heart would be the same" For no other I feel this way.

You know I care, about being misused And you know my darling, I mean you. I thought I would give you somewhere Somewhere you'd feel no disgrace. I'm falling down, and you can't save me, Time throws it in my face, All I write, takes place.

Tell me how, Am I supposed to ever feel again? When no other Can take your place.

Let it out, I give you all of me forever There's no other Who can replace

No one ever sees How I believe in everything you say to me. Teach me how to breathe. Cuz I still believe in everything you say to me You say to me You say to me

Tell me how, You ever thought my heart would be the same"

Tell me how, Am I supposed to ever feel again? When no other Can take your place.

Let it out, I give you all of me forever There's no other Who can replace.

I've been let down, I've been abused. I guess I can really never pay my dues.

I haven't forgotten you baby awake or asleep. I know where you are tonight and perhaps what you need. I'm gonna give a little time, gonna pretend that you are mine and I'll be flying. I see legends, in our myths and misdeeds. I know stories that can make your heart bleed. Oh the words that I say, can't make the pain go away and it leaves us crying. What can I do to make be, The woman who first came to me? Remember that day, When you made me see. I was tired you were lonely Somehow you make me believe. So before I say good night before I go away, Remember that day.

Paradise, and pale blue skies Tell me girl, are things all right" Like the morning dew Everything old is new. Tell me do you feel the cool wind blow" Darlin" feel the wind blow.

If you can just rely upon me. I'll give you all my second chances. If you can only see what I see. You'll know you have all my glances.

How can I let you know" Just how it feels inside. Only one can be, Everything I need. Now tell me, tell me don't it show"

Tell me your desire, across the wires. Hear the words, inside, of me. In your voice I drown. I don't need to deny. Can't you feel, feel where your heart goes" Darlin" feel, the wind blow.

I need you to remember, Who was there at the fall" No one saw the way that I did. The way you slipped inside my soul.

How can I let you know" Just how it feels inside. Darlin" only one can be, Everything I need. Now tell me, tell me don't it show?

I need to let you know, There is nothing to hide. Everyone can see You're what I need. Can't tell me, tell me it don't show.

Confessions and changes All my sins written on the pages Expectations, you be the judge. I'll be paying dues in blood. Worry not, I won't change.

Deceptions and dangers Heroes stories told across the ages Confrontations, will you budge" Wanting to be in that flood. Feelings for you still the same.

Reflections and rages Beasts and beauties hide our faces Limitations can't hinder love Of you I never get enough Who's the hunter, who's the prey"

Visions and visages Vistas rise in sweeping stages Standing here in realms above Hold to you when life gets tough. I told you I would always stay.

I need for you to know me ~ D

I need for you to know me, but I don't understand what that may mean. The darkness it calls to me, a promise in the dreams.

I need for you to know me, but I'm afraid to move. The silence it just laughs at me, and I don't know what?s true.

I need for you to know me, is this just a waste of time" If I follow your footprints down that path, tell me darlin" what will I find?

I need for you to know me, and all of my committed sin. The world ahead invisible, and it's so dark where I've been.

I need for you to know me, and hell that comes to pass. I may never burn first, but you know I'll be burning last.

Take your shot, Time to make me afraid. Just use your words, To send me away now. Only ever see the outside.

Paint up your heart, To hide the pain. Don't say a word, and live in shame. Only ever see, what you show me.

If it takes all night, I will show you what you mean. If I tell you right, I can break away the dream. Time isn't letting go of me, Open your world, And just let me see.

Wear those veils, And hide your eyes. Raise your sails, Go along for the ride. Over every sea, you run and hide.

You hang your curtains, Over imperfect glass. You plant your flowers, But their beauty won't last. Behind every tree, why don't you just show me?

If it takes all night, I'll wash you in my stream. If you want to fight, Darlin make me bleed. This world hurts when you don't believe. Open your life, baby, Bring it all to me.

Baby, you don't know, How far I'll go. To show what you mean to me.

When I see you there, I can't help the way I stare. You've got me learning how to dream.

And when the night comes. Our shadows come undone. The wind blows our spirits to the sea.

Dance with me across the waves. Those mingled motions that we crave. Tomorrow I don't know where I'll be.

We have tonight, Can we find a place out of sight? Lose ourselves in this ever changing stream.

You're all I need.

/swoon!

A Krugie post!

So I died a little bit. I could feel that slow drip as it ran along my skin and fell to the floor from helpless fingertips. I could hear it as the droplets struck one another wetly in the slowly growing pool of my essence. My heart hurt, weeping crimson tears that burned love's acid across my flesh.

This wasn't me, not the me of before. I was a stone.

Now" It was my present, my immediate future. The stone cries blood because the heart of it cracked. Even so small a blemish was enough to shake this stone's foundation.

Help me....It hurts so badly.

It, that's what I call myself. Not because anyone else assigned the name to me. I just found not caring easier if I were no longer human. I've heard people asking "Why must the flesh become stone?" I never cared about that, what I want to know is why did I have to turn back" How could I believe that letting someone close would do anything but cause me unimaginable pain"

Pain should be as nothing. It should roll over and through me leaving only a faded memory. Physical pain is preferable. Something that can be controlled, endured forever because its root is not controlled. This....No, I am the cause because I allowed you to let me believe.

I did believe....God damn us both!

Perhaps you should pray, or maybe beg It to return. He might for you. Then you wouldn't have to be victimized by Its love, or ravished in Its rage. You could walk free taking heart that the worst will never happen to you. The worst of my love, because it consumes all of me. The worst of my rage, because it is turned inward and burns too hotly to contain. It wouldn't have that one person who was a convenient....Necessary....Needed outlet for one and another.

Fuck me for needing you. Fuck me dead.

She was awake, I knew it as I kissed her in the dark. Her eyes were closed, a mercy perhaps for me and for her. Goodbye is hard for me, she knows that, so we pretend. It's not a game, not from my point of view. Necessity makes it so, because if her eyes open for just an instant I'll never leave. I don't want to, but I must. If I'd have known it would be the last time....if I'd known....why didn't I know?

The past can be clung to. I've done it often enough, but maybe I shouldn't. No one ever tells me the rules. Looking around I see the city-scape. My city with its towering skyline looming over me. It's like a tomb now, an endless graveyard of people who walk the streets not knowing they are all dead. Dead to me at least, somewhere from then to now I stopped caring again. This is my curse, because when I care it overwhelms all things. It drains the blood from me leaving a dry husk, leaving the real me behind. I am barely more than the dirt that created me. I am that, I am less....I am alone. It's good to be alone.