Topic: Post hoc ergo propter hoc

Kruger

Date: 2016-01-08 08:51 EST
Post hoc ergo propter hoc

Hope springs, a strange name for a place. Of course there were stranger names, Rhy'Din for one. The name that came from a conjunction of a place and a dragon. Maybe it didn't really matter where the name came from' Kruger laughed, the act turned the heads of strangers his direction with a look that implied he might be insane. Then again he might be, how the hell had he gotten here" It wasn't like other times he'd traveled without really moving. Then he'd made a gate and stepped through. This was something different, the space before him literally changed right in front of him. There was no folding, no melting of one image over another. One second he was on a street in Rhy'Din, the next he was standing in front of a sign announcing that he was in Hope Springs.

The sign stood adjacent to a beach that would likely fill up as morning progressed. That had been another thing, Kruger had left when the sun had already begun it's descent, but the sun on the eastern horizon was clearly rising. A lone figure sat on a lounge chair made of some kind of grey metal and ribbons. Kruger was drawn towards him, though he couldn't really say why. It was a desire he had no way of fighting. He doubted that if he tried to stop he would be able to.

Kruger had seen devices similar to the one that the figure was typing into. There were some differences of course, the symbols and letters were completely different. Kruger stopped two feet from the man in the chair, a pair of dull green eyes looked up and met his eyes. "You're here, I didn't....well at first I didn't but then I remembered there's power in the world that can't be defined..." The man shook his head apologetically. "No wait, I'm sure you aren't grasping any of what I am saying. For some reason I figured that my thoughts would ring through to you like a conscience....or that little devil of temptation that creeps through the back of your mind. You know the one and how it has gotten you into trouble. Don't deny it, Kruger."

Kruger backed a step, then a hesitant second step. "You have me at a disadvantage, you know me but I really don't know you." It wasn't the first time that had happened either. Often customers would come in and know him before he knew them. That was to be expected, this was just weird, and he had to admit unacceptable. Kruger's hand was so quick to his hammer that the head was a blur as he pulled it from its loop. "You don't look like a wizard, it's sunny so I doubt you're a vampire. Looks can be deceiving though, and rules always seem to change. What exactly are you, tell me now or I will see you ripped from this world."

The singularity within Dark Heart, Kruger's hammer needed to feed to stay alive. If it didn't feed tiny black hole within would simply collapse in upon itself and be no more. Kruger fed it sparingly, and usually something that wasn't living. The nice thing about having stores of metal was that it gave him something to feed the hammer without anyone suspecting a thing about the stockpile dwindling. The hammer had no preference though, it would consume scrap as easily as raw material. Kruger doubted it would know the difference between any of that and the man sitting there looking at him.

The man's face became a moue of concentration. His brows descended as he took a deep breath and let it out through his nose. Those clamped lips weren't going to let anything that wasn't subatomic out of them. "I'm you, or maybe you're me" I don't know the relationship is so hard to define really. I am the voice in your head, the thing that moves you. I'm the one who gets you in and out of trouble. I was there when you danced Apollon Musegettes. I was there for your first fight, your first love. I was there when you laid awake at night in pain from the beatings your forgemaster gave you. The problem is that I was him too, and the stripes that he left so deeply on your flesh. He gave you the brand, but I created the symbol."

The man put the laptop aside and stood, he was of a height with Kruger but at least sixty pounds leaner. He wasn't lacking in muscle tone and definition. Kruger could see that much in the lay of his tank top and the depth of the cuts in his shoulders and at the center of his chest. "You aren't making any sense. Unless your saying that for the past thirty five years you've been stalking me, but that makes no sense. You're about my age, and I know I've never seen you before."

"We're close to the same age. the truth is that you've only been around for about thirty years, the first five were really just backstory that I invented, and rewrote a few times. I think I finally found the one that works best for you though." The man smiled, pushed up his glasses with the tip of his forefinger and stepped away from the chair towards the beach. "There is more to show you, not here, when you go back....you will go back, but I need you here right now. With me at least for a little while."

Kruger

Date: 2016-01-17 01:02 EST
Why' The question that had gotten Kruger so many scars reared its ugly head once again. Before he had a chance to utter the thing though the man was talking.

"It doesn't matter why does it' Maybe it should, maybe I should have that answer for you? waiting on the tip of my tongue and so eloquent that it would make you weep for the hearing of it. Maybe I should prove that I am as great a wordsmith as you are a weaponsmith. Would you like that Kruger?" The man turned back to Kruger, his brows were pinched down and there was a hard set to his jaw, teeth were clamped hard enough to bulge his cheeks.

"I can't, I'm confused. It's not your fault though, that blame lies solely with me. Don't! You don't get to look at me like I'm crazy, even if I am. I'm here aren't I" Maybe I am just trapped in my own delusions now." His hands went to the sides of his head, covering his ears as he closed his eyes. "Too many in my head" How can anyone live this way?"

"Your name." Kruger wouldn't be deterred so easily. "You haven't given it and I want it. You act crazy, but somehow I believe that is all it is. Who are you trying to impress" Me" Does god really need to impress his creation?" Kruger went silent as something in those words rang true. "Why else give miracles" but was that my thought or yours" Where do you end and I begin" Do I have any kind of life without you?" Was confusion contagious"

The man's hand dropped back to his sides at the questions "Name, right' I didn't give that to him. Why didn't I give that to him' Darren, yes that's my name. Darren Still, middle name of Paul. I'm sorry, I should have said it before. I thought you might already know." He took another long breath that would have been loud if they weren't outside at a beach. "Yes, I do believe that. I'm not a big fan of God, or at least as most people in my world believe him. But he's a taker, and I've moved on. Any more than that is between god and me, he knows why I left and that even he can't undo it. Fact is Kruger, you and me we've killed him many times. Killing gods is easy. being them, that's harder. I'm no god, I'm a liar and a good one."

As if he'd changed his mind about whatever he was going to do, Darren started back towards the chair and the laptop. He seized it, slapping the screen down and jamming the thing under his right arm. "Let's walk, I think that would do us both good."

Kruger didn't know what to make of this strange man. At least now he had a name to call on. "You seem an erratic kind of fella. You sure that you won't change your mind again and want something else?" Kruger laughed as he said the words, it was a joke at Darren's expense. He stopped short though, it was so quick that Kruger nearly plowed into him.

"No, I'm sure of no such thing. Erratic" I've been called worse. I was an attention whore long before you took on the mantle. Maybe it's true, okay probably it's true. It doesn't matter If I weren't then so many other things wouldn't be either. We all need me to be that man. So why can't I find him now" I need you Krugs. That's the simple truth, even if it means you'll need to beat it out of me. Something's gone, it's missing and I just can't figure out where it went." There was a hint of panic in Darren's voice.

That was a sound Kruger didn't really understand. To his knowledge, he'd never panicked over anything. How could someone be so like and yet unlike him' "I don't know how I can help you. I've faced similar problems but I don't think the answer is the same for you."

"The void, I remember. That was very good. I don't have a void though. It's more like a wall, invisible to me, but I can feel the cracks in it. I probe and get somewhere only to have the mortar slam down on my fingers and crush them, stopping me cold. I called on you because frankly Kruger, you were my first, and you've been my longest and greatest. Every entanglement with you has been quite a show. The problem is that often enough those events require other people to go along with it. That thing with the ebonsteele, I had help, just as you did. The simple attractions you have the ones that are palpable but never get acted on. You know, like Jewell and Claire. The fierce loyalty you have to One. These all require help. Believe me I am grateful for all that help too. I'm rambling again. Right, I am a liar and a good one. Writing fiction is writing lies. I just call it storytelling, I don't consider it writing, not from me. I'm just not that dedicated to the words. It's the story that counts. If I can make a person lose track of time because they're interested in what you are doing, to me that is like you creating a weapon of extreme beauty." Darren started moving as quickly as he'd stopped, leaving Kruger to rush a few paces in order to catch up.

He was surprised by how quickly the man with the laptop was moving. It almost seemed like he was being drawn to something but he wasn't sure what it was. "Where are we going?" It seemed a simple question to the smith but the other man only shrugged and shook his head.

"You may not want the answer." A quick grin shot across Darren's lips. "We're going to Oblivion.?

Kruger

Date: 2016-02-16 12:26 EST
Oblivion' Kruger had never been frightened of that. He'd made his own sortes to find and understand it. "That is where all things end up. Is that what you're thinking?" Darren's nod confirmed the smith's thoughts. He could go with the man, who knew what else he might learn about himself, the once was and the what will be.

"If it's not there, then it must be out here somewhere." Kruger didn't point out the flaw in Darren's reasoning. He had begun to know a few things too, like the things he thought the other man did as well. It was almost like he was the recipient of all those things that Darren refused to accept.

"I want to know about the void." It was true, he knew there were things missing from him. Understood that those things were important and where they had gone. What he didn't know was details. He'd even been cryptic in all his journal entries. Loss, yes. A person, true. Who though' Why did thinking about even that nameless faceless person still seem to hurt"

"No!" Darren had stopped walking again. Kruger had expected it and more than compensated. "Those things, are gone for you. All of it is gone?"

Darren's voice had trailed off, he'd still been speaking though. It took Kruger a minute to decipher the mumbled words. all but my sins. "Sins" I thought you left god behind?" The pain came quickly, whatever else Darren was he had fast hands. At once he'd whirled and threw a hard left at Kruger's face causing him to stagger.

"Oh yes?" The words hissed seethingly out of Darren. Kruger caught himself and wiped his mouth. He'd hit a nerve it seemed. "I'm a sinner in all the traditional ways. I've broken every commandment in one way or another. It may be true that I never took a life, but I've wanted to in my heart. That's the same thing according to them."

Kruger heard the words, and picked up on the things that Darren had tried to distract him from. "And the ring on your finger?"

Darren's eyes fell to the silver hued band with the celtic knots circling it. "A promise made. My promise made."

"How can your promise mean anything, you who are so willing to destroy those same promises?" Darren flinched at the question that was more accusation than anything else.

"Shut up!" Darren turned angrily from Kruger and began to storm away no longer seeming to care if the smith followed or not. Ten feet were crossed, then fifteen. At twenty Darren turned back to Kruger looking at him as though he were willing the smith to catch on fire.

"Your void, not mine! I haven't forgotten, and no I don't feel guilty. I never feel guilty about it, I only miss it. I only want it back" The lack of it hurts so bad I don't think I'll ever be right again. I need" and in that need I call to me those who do not' who should not come. But they are so powerful, in the end they consume me. All of them take their pieces before they disappear and leave me wondering what it is I've done wrong. You see, no guilt no pain from knowing they weren't mine to begin with. They would never be mine. That's a fact, it's my fact Kruger. I am a possession, a plaything to be picked up and cherished until I'm no longer needed. Like now...like now. I hate everything. I hate you? I need you." Darren passed a sleeve over his eyes, and shook his head at the smith.

"For the record, I'm sorry for what?s about to happen to you with the group in Shanachie. You are more than a person Kruger, you pull your energy from a crowd and shine like no other in my repertoire. You can't sustain that if it is more intimate though. There's not enough energy in a single person, unless that person is a child. Then you pull from the very air what you need to keep your mask up. Alone" like me, all you will ever know is hurt. your's and mine, and mine is devastatingly cruel to you. It always will be."

"Remember your void here and now Kruger, for a moment I give it all back to you. May you burn and suffer."

Memories filled him, over filled him. the face he'd hidden away, the eyes that haunted him so often. The knowledge of what would have been and could never be again. Where Darren's fist had rocked him, this buckled his knees and left him on the sidewalk. He was reaching for a vision, one that he knew was no longer there, it looked so real but it was just the vision in his mind. The Anvil, he understood it. He knew the names and began to shake his head. "No' no, it can't be? not?"

"Shut up! there are things that can't be? you see it now. Your memory, it's one of those things, and I'll bear the burden this time. I'll hold the promise. I'll suffer for you, this time" because I can't trust you Kruger. Not with this, you're too much like me. I can't have that, not today, not tomorrow. I need you to be free of it' so you are." And like that it was gone, and the only memory Kruger carried with him was that of loss and the knowledge that it may be for the best.

One by one the memories began to disappear, a name the feel of a touch. A pair of eyes, all fading. The last thing was the smile, it didn't disappear, not until it faltered into something heartbreaking. "I hate you?" The smith said the words softly, but wasn't clear if he meant the lost memory or the man who had taken it. No, he knew" "I hate you both."

Kruger

Date: 2016-03-26 15:31 EST
Grief and rage, slammed into one another and coiled inseparably. Filled with ferocious despair, Kruger's body shook uncontrollably. He didn't hear Darren's approach until the man's red sneakers were poised right in front of him. He felt a soothing hand on his head, compassion was the last thing he'd been expecting from his cruel taskmaster. He took in a shuddering breath, determination was the only thing that kept the sob lodged in his chest from coming out.

"It's finished, you can go back now. I've gotten what I needed." More of the unexpected from Darren. The words didn't make any sense to Kruger. What was finished, the memory, the void, or did he mean oblivion' That was what Kruger was feeling now. He looked up, taking in the soft expression that was imprisoned forever in the hard edges of his features.

"How" It's barely been an hour since I came here. I just don't understand you." Would he ever" Not if he was to go back and forget. Not if like so many other things this moment in his unlife was to be as though it never happened. Kruger was heart weary. His spirit, the one that had elevated him so often was sapped to exhaustion.

"For you it's been an hour. For me it's been months. I've lived on through pain and heartache, lived on through illness and injury. I can't stop time for me, only for you? only for you." The hand on Kruger's head slid beneath his chin and pulled upward ever so gently. Kruger found himself rising to that pull. He stared at Darren eye to eye. It only lasted a few seconds, he could have counted it out in his heartbeats and measured breaths.

"When you return, some things will have changed, others remain stable. You already have those memories, and a fight to prepare for. I've shown you the way." The memories in question came to him, even as Darren said they were there.

Another breath, steadying, fortifying" pure, it rose inside him and chased away so much of what he'd been feeling. "I've ruined more homes." Darren's nod confirmed Kruger's words.

"Kruger, you are the person I want to be. All those good moments, and bad ideas are important. But' there is and I fear will ever be a flaw that I cannot keep from you. It's the one we share, the one that tears us up inside. We destroy, I destroy through me and through you. It's all I know. Funny, my father never outright called me a liar. He would say things like" That's what happens when you tell stories. He was never angry about them, more often than not I think he was trying very hard not to be amused. You see, I've had a lot of practice telling stories, long decades of it. I can't promise you won't fuck up again, because I know I will. Because I will, so too will you. I'm sorry about that too." Kruger could feel the look on Darren's face was a mirror to his own. It probably meant the same thing, extreme determination to hold back emotions.

"You're me, I'm you. So how do I say goodbye' How do you?" Kruger wanted to go, and yet he wanted to stay as well.

"I'll tell you. I'll show you. We can hate ourselves, and somehow in the same hour we can love ourselves as well." Darren grabbed hold of Kruger's chin harder, then leaned in and kissed him on the lips. It was an odd sensation being kissed like that by a man. He was quite certain it was a first for both of them.

"You said you needed me." It was all Kruger could think of to say when that kiss ended.

"I also said I was a liar." Darren pulled back, sniffling once. His lips pulled inward to be moistened by his tongue. "Goodbye."

Kruger couldn't recall stopping his footsteps along the sidewalk. All of Rhy"Din was laid out before him, the metal surfaces glinting in the setting sun. Had something happened" He couldn't recall, it couldn't have, no time had passed. He resumed his walk, there were places that he needed to be.

*********** Kruger didn't remember Hope Springs, and he wouldn't be there to see Darren turn and head back toward the beach. The sun had disappeared, no it was blocked by something vast and dark. There was a visible absence of everything, sea, sun, and all the sky from horizon upwards. This was the void in her true form, a woman's shadowy outline with an impenetrable black veil disguising her finer features.

"I know you're there watching, always watching." The waves were crashing in front of Darren, yet he kept walking. As he did, the sea itself retreated from his feet. "I promised him we'd go to oblivion."

Behind him Hope Springs began to tear itself apart, but Darren walked ever onward. The ocean falling back as he advanced towards The Void. "That is where we are, isn't it' Still you watch, and we pretend that the sea is brine. We both know the truth, it's not brine but saline and sometimes I'm not sure if it's from me or you or some combination of both of us."

Hope Springs disappeared leaving nothing where it once had been. That vast ocean was now a puddle surrounding the void and not even an inch deep. "You watched all of this, heard my words and know where the truth lays. We both know, don't we?"

The salty water licked at Darren's shoes. The fabric wicked up the water and the red dye bled itself back into that puddle. Darren was so close to the void now. It towered far above so that when he reached upward as far as he could towards it he barely touched its shin. "You have no idea how much I still hate you."

He looked down at the blood red puddle, that culmination of every emotion he'd ever had. "But you've always known what I've been trying to say all along. I'm a liar" and a good one." Darren pressed a kiss to the void, it was only ankle high, and likely unnoticeable to a thing so vast. The surface of the puddle rippled twice as two new droplets found their way home. He looked up to where a face should be, to where a pair of devastating eyes ought to live."Goodbye."