Mine Fio!

It is I, your favorite daughter, Jesse! I require aid in the form of money in the form of coins of gold and silver from Government moneys for help in mine current endeavor.

As you must have heard by many Watch. I am now the new VICE ADMIRAL of the RhyDin Watch Coast Guard. Mine ship, the S.S. BREADSTICKS, is in need of many, many upgrades. I was thinking mayhaps a flamethrower and rocket launchers, but I would be happy with a crane as well. I will not be attempting deep sea scavenging for lost treasure from wrecked ships, do not let anyone fool you by saying different!

While I request all Watch members address me by proper rank of Admiral, you will be allowed to still call me by mine name for you are the greatest of all time. I will also allow Steve to call me by mine name because he is currently, as the kids say, "Shacking Up" with you.

I require 1000 moneys worth of aid and much food for mine tummy rumbles during patrols of the waterways.

Your Coast Guard Admiral,

Dear Mine Fio,

I have compiled a list of red-flagged communists within thy city.

I believe they are a threat to our great nation and must be handled immediately.

COMMUNISTS Zack Shimmerscale Noah Shimmerscale Ellie Jingleheimer-Schmidt Elaine Rhiannon Brock Aja G'nort —- I forgot his last names Rakeesh Vincent Smith, who I have been dating undercover to find out his communist plots. Rena Katt who makes Bearclaws Charles Blackstone Steve?"" Possibly, I shall continue to search That girl who works at Tea's 'n Tomes That guy who works at the hotdog stand on fifth street

This is mine list. Please stay safe! The red scare is upon us!

Night One Report

I have edited mine list! If they are scribbled in red ink then they have been confirmed as communists! I asked them to pay a tax to the city and they would not give me the money that is mine by right! Even after I said that it was for the fund to make you a statue of yourself in the Marketplace!

I have also added mine notes from tonight's encounters with the communists.

I was told

By Aja. Go play in traffic. Go play in there, then. She was pointing at the fireplace She also asked me to write down that she was laughing at me and mine note taking.

A prostitute who would not give me her name. Told me to play with the sharks. Elaine, proven communists, responded to the prostitute with "That'd be mean. To the sharks." jump off a cliff into a barren canyon.

Noah, newly confirmed communist. How about play with T-Rex. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. The prostitute responded to him with "then play with aawww poor unicorn. Why not play tag with sea urchins? Or porcupine whichever." She then laughed Go play with an Octopus. Go play with an electrical eel. Go jump off the cliff in a fire.

Strange bug creature told me. Go play with a wild alien. Play with a hanging live power cord. Play with some matches and a can of sulfuric acid.

I fear for these people, mine Fio. It appears Madness and the red plague of communism has overtaken them.

Jesse,

The things they suggested were very mean, I will agree. Shame on them for not being nice. That doesn't necessarily make them communists, but I will be aware.

Thank you for letting me know that someone is reading my mail who should not be. I will look into that.

In the meantime, you mustn't go around collecting taxes. That is a job unworthy of the commander of the Coast Guard vessel S.S. Breadsticks, don't you think? Let me take care of that end of things. You have more important things to worry about.

I have a mission for you. Come and see me as soon as you can and I will tell you what I need. This is Very Important and Top Secret.

Fio

Soon enough...and maybe after reports of a horse-drawn carriage being knocked over because someone felt the need to whack at one of the horses knees with a bat...Well, anywho — soon enough Jesse would come waltzing into the Town Hall. She made sure to flash her Watch badge to everyone and everything that may have looked her way ( even for a split second ).

"Eye'm here to see Fio!" She called out to the receptionists desk.

Jesse glanced around. Eyes squinted and narrowed...There were communists spreading information around here, she knew it for a fact! Which was why she aimed one of those Nerf guns at a passing paper-pusher and shot him at the back of his head. The guy quickly looked back, but Jesse was fast enough to hide her weapon and stare back at the woman behind the desk. Completely innocent.