Topic: Fears And Promises

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:01 EST
Tony had not hired Irina Sokolova to fill the role of the Shanachie's ballet mistress just because she was a friend. He had hired her because she was simply the greatest dancer he'd ever known - a legend in her own time. She knew the ballet like no one else, and there was no one he trusted more to make them the best dancers they could be. But today, one in particular was trying her patience. She was fond of the girl ....woman ....elf, but she could not help thinking she lacked something as a dancer. She had not given up on her yet though, and she had made it her personal business to make a prima ballerina out of the girl yet.

Irina thumped her cane on the floor in time to the music that was playing on the speakers. "Again!" she told her, demanding perfection, but as far as Merethyl Cytria was concerned, perfection wasn't the problem.

Indeed, Merethyl had studied ballet for almost as long as Irina had been alive. She had studied all forms of dance; this was merely the most recent challenge for her form. And she had achieved perfection ....a cold, distant perfection that was more likely to put an audience to sleep than captivate them. She was patient with Irina, understanding that the woman seemed to want something more from her, but after four hours of one-on-one coaching in which she had repeated more movements than a single solo had in its entirety, the elven woman's patience was starting to fray at the edges. The thump of that cane on the floor made her grit her teeth, returning to first position yet again as the sweeping strains of the Rose Adagio made themselves known through the studio once more.

Irina waited, watching carefully as the young woman went through the movements, flawlessly performing each pass and move of the dance, almost as if she was an automaton. Irina sighed, admiring the elf's skill, but there was still something missing. "No, no, no ..." Irina said with a sigh, and thumped her cane on the floor once again.

With a sigh of her own, Merethyl lowered down from en pointe and let her arms fall to her sides, Blue eyes looked at the ballet mistress in confusion. "I do not understand," she told Irina. "What is it that you want from me" Have I grown worse over the year, that you must tutor me like this?"

Irina tapped a button to stop the music so that she could try and explain to the ballerina what it was she was missing - again. She has warned Tony when he'd hired an elf that there would be problems, but she had not expected this. "Worse, nyet. But no better either. Your technique is perfect. Your moves are flawless, but your dancing conveys no feeling, dorogoya. It is as boring as ....how do you say ....watching paint peel. You must not only dance the part, you must become the part. You must feel what the character is feeling so that the audience feels it with you. Ponimayete""

Merethyl drew in a slow breath, frowning as she considered the words. "You believe that I am boring to watch," she repeated, a little insulted by the words but prepared to work on it, if that was necessary. "How do I become someone else? I am myself. I know myself. I have spent almost two centuries learning who and what I am. And now you say I must become someone else, or my dancing will not improve. I do not understand."

"Who do you believe you are when you are dancing the role of Sleeping Beauty' Are you Merethyl the ballerina dancing the part, or are you the ill-fated princess" You must become the character. You must feel what she feels. Your dancing is flawless, but if you cannot convey emotion to the audience, you will bore them, dorogoya." She sighed again, unsure if she was getting through to her at all. "You must put yourself in the character's place and feel what she is feeling. Is she happy, sad, frightened, angry' Dancing is not just mastering the moves; it is a form of acting, you see. The ballet tells a story, and you are a character in that story, da""

"But am I storyteller, or am I a dancer?" Merethyl asked innocently. "Surely the quality of the dance will suffer if emotion is brought into the performance. Are you asking me to cease performing to the very best of my ability, purely to play a role?" She wasn't deliberately trying to be difficult, but it was an odd concept to understand for her. Dance had never been about expression for Merethyl; it had always been about perfection.

"You are both," Irina explained. "You are an actress and a dancer. When the audience watches you, they are held spellbound. They forget they are at the theater watching a performance and become immersed in the story. In the end, interpretation is more important than technique. If it was only about technique, a robot could dance the part, and then what would we need dancers for." She sighed again. "We are through for today. We will resume in the morning."

"Yes, Irina." Aware that she had disappointed the ballet mistress yet again, Merethyl sighed, one hand rising to pull her hair from its confining bun and let the blonde mane shake out over her shoulders. She moved over to the mirror, bending to pull on her shorts, leg warmers, and sweater to keep her muscles from seizing up, and started the lengthy process of removing her pointe shoes and checking on her toes. She'd have to change before stepping out into the city again, but the warm up knits would do for now.

The sound of a man clearing his throat was heard at the door. "Am I interrupting?" he asked, in an accent that was obviously French to anyone who might recognize it.

"Christian!" Irina exclaimed, moving over to greet the young man who stood hovering uncertainly in the doorway. "Come in, come in. You must meet Merethyl. This is her second year with the ballet," she said, taking him by the arm to lead him into the room.

Unlike the ballerina, he wasn't dressed for practice, but was dressed casually in jeans and sweater, a scarf wound around his neck. If one didn't know better, he could almost pass for Tony's brother.

The elven woman looked up from where she was sat on the floor, flexing her toes to reduce any chance of swelling and stiffness from being en pointe for so long. She seemed almost unremarkable - just a pretty blonde with blue eyes, and the right build for a dancer. Her eyes, though, tended to throw people; they usually weren't expecting to see her age there, unless they had noticed her ears first. She offered a smile to the unknown male as Irina brought him into the room.

"Ah, she smiles!" Irina remarked with a grin of her own. She wasn't sure if the elf was just being friendly or if she was admiring the man. There was certainly plenty to admire. As far as she could tell, Christian was in top shape. One would never know from looking at him that he'd suffered a career-ending injury, followed by painful, debilitating surgery, but then, Rhy'Din had changed all that. It was why he was here, after all.

"Bonjour," he offered to the blonde woman with a polite smile and nod of his head.

Merethyl rolled her eyes at Irina. It wasn't as though she never smiled. Pushing herself up onto her feet, her toe shoes hanging from one hand, she looked up at the man. "Hello," she greeted him in return, glancing warily at Irina. "I am sorry if we over-ran. I can change somewhere else if you need the room."

"Nyet," Irina replied with a grin. "I have an appointment." Which was another way of saying she had a date of some kind, but the ballet mistress was a little too coy about her private life to say as much to those in her charge. "Did you need something, Tien" I am just leaving," she asked as she turned to the man.

"No," he replied with a small frown. "I was just speaking with Anthony, and he said you wanted to see me."

"Ah," she replied, patting his cheek fondly. "Not now, dorogoy. Zavtra ....tomorrow. First thing in the morning, da""

Watching this interaction, Merethyl's brow rose above a slow, somewhat sardonic smirk. "Subtlety is not your strongest point, is it, madame"" she asked Irina warningly. She was significantly older than most others involved with the theater, after all. Her blue eyes turned to Christian for a moment. "Since you have been abandoned, monsieur, would you like to get a drink with me" It will not take me long to change."

Christian arched a brow at the pretty blonde whom Tony claimed was not entirely human. She looked perfectly normal to him. He didn't really notice anything out of the ordinary yet. One thing that was clear was that it appeared either Tony or Irina had set him - them - up, but what could one drink hurt' If they were going to be working together or even dancing together, they were going to have to get acquainted sooner or later, and he knew next to no one. "A drink," he echoed, not missing the French she'd thrown into the conversation, but he wasn't particularly impressed. It was easy to toss a word or two into conversation without being fluent. "Tres bien. What harm can there be in a drink?"

Irina grinned like an idiot at the two of them. "Very good. I shall see you both in the morning then."

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:02 EST
"Both?" Merethyl's eyes widened in surprise. "Madame, I was under the impression that you wanted to drill me in private." And yes, despite her long years of experience, the thought of anyone witnessing the way she allowed Irina to speak to her during those sessions was more than a little humiliating.

"You will not learn what needs to be learned dancing alone," Irina told her, not going into particulars.

Christian remained quiet, but it seemed the ballet mistress had a reason for choosing him for this task - a reason she had not yet shared with either of them. He only arched a curious brow at her before giving her another nod of his head.

"Then you should keep ....Christian, is it' ....Christian company, while I change," Merethyl informed the ballet mistress. "It is the least you can do, since you are apparently not in such desperate need to talk to him and he has walked all the way up here under that impression." She flashed Irina a wide, startlingly cheeky smile, and bent to pick up her bag before padding out of the room. "I will not be long."

Irina narrowed her eyes at the cheeky girl who was not a girl at all. In truth, Merethyl was her elder, but this was Irina's domain, and she would not tolerate any disrespect from her dancers. And yet, the woman could see the humor in the moment, and she chuckled a little to herself. "Very well," she replied agreeably, taking hold of the younger man's arm. "Will you keep an old woman company for a few minutes, Tien?" she asked him, just short of fluttering her lashes at him.

Christian looked between the two women, a little confused, but he nodded again. "Oui, madame. It would be my pleasure."

It was an odd situation for the two women. While yes, Merethyl was over two centuries old and easily Irina's elder, Irina was her superior. They had so far gotten around it by being excessively polite to one another, which was probably why Irina thought Merethyl was utterly expressionless in all aspects of her life. The elven woman was true to her word, however; less than twenty minutes later, she presented herself at the door, changed into street clothing, her bag hanging over her shoulder, and her hair pulled back to hang over her shoulders and away from her face, revealing the delicate point to her ears.

By the time Merethyl returned, Christian was waiting alone, Irina having hurried off to whatever appointment awaited her. They had spoken for a few minutes about what to expect in the morning, and when she'd inquired as to his well-being, he'd assured her he was fine. He had only been left alone for a few minutes before Merethyl returned, and though he noticed the delicate point to her ears, it was not the first thing he noticed about her. What he noticed first was her grace and her poise. What was it about this dancer that required Irina's personal hand"

Finding Christian alone, Merethyl actually laughed, shaking her head as she moved to join him. "No, she really isn't very subtle at all, is she?" she commented, offering him her hand. "My name is Merethyl, I don't think we were actually introduced." As she looked at him, she was absorbing details about his person - the handsome looks, the slightly stiff way he held himself despite his own elegant poise. Her intuition could make all kinds of guesses about why he was so defensive of his own stance, but she chose to ignore the workings of her mind.

"Christian," he returned the introduction, a slim hand taking her own - one that was uncallused by hard work, but had a strong, yet gentle grip. "It is not the first time Irina has tried to play matchmaker, though I think she is more interested in us as dance partners than as lovers," he replied, looking just a little embarrassed.

"She has had success with you before?" she asked curiously, reclaiming her hand as they turned to head back down toward the public spaces of the Shanachie. "You have brought your ..." She fumbled for the word, finally coming up with, "Your partner, I think is the way it is said among this society. You have brought her here with you?"

"My partner?" he echoed, chuckling a little at her misunderstanding of what he'd said. "Non, I do not have a partner - privately or professionally." Not anymore, anyway. Perhaps never again, though Tony and Irina seemed to think differently.

"It is difficult, isn't it?" she asked with a faint smile. "When others try to match make, and you are either not ready or not interested. I have never been able to keep a friend who tried to do the same to me, but elven courtship is a very different experience. When I choose, it will be for life. It is not something to rush into."

"And your life will be much longer than mine," he pointed out, as if that was enough reason for them to keep their relationship professional. "But I think she is only thinking of making us dance partners," he admitted with a faint and slightly doubtful smile. He could not deny that she was lovely, but they were clearly as different as night and day.

"Ah, the length of life is no reason to close your mind or heart," Merethyl mused with a shrug. "There are two performers with the Shanachie who are the product of unions between human and elf, and Carina's parents are both still living. Love is something to be celebrated and treasured, but it is a gift that sometimes is not given. I have lived a long time without it - you cannot miss what you have not had." She chuckled gently. "Indeed, she seems to believe that you and I can help one another. I do not quite understand what it is she wants from me."

He wasn't quite sure what to say to all that. He'd been in love more than once, but it had never worked out - not the way it had for Tony and Anya, at any rate. And now that he was unsure of his abilities, he wasn't sure where his life was headed. He was grateful for the chance Tony had given him, but he wasn't sure he could live up to his expectations. "I do not know what she wants from you, but I know what she wants from me."

"She shouts at me for not being expressive enough," Merethyl confessed as they gained the ground floor together. "I am apparently as boring to watch dancing as watching paint peel, and yet she and Tony both continually give me major roles. I cannot be so very awful, can I?"

That figure of speech actually made him chuckle. "I highly doubt that," he replied, visualizing the process of actually watching paint peel. Nothing could be as boring and tedious as that, and it was something no one in their right mind ever did. "I have not seen you dance, but I know Anthony and Irina well enough to know they would not waste time on you if it was not worth their while. They must see something in you - something more than you see in yourself."

She smiled, pleased by the sound of his chuckle. "I think it is a cultural difference," she mused thoughtfully. "In art, my people place great stress upon perfection. It is not a method of expression, it is all about sublime control. I do not understand what I am expected to do."

He thought about that a moment as they made their way from the theater. He wasn't sure where they were going, and he wasn't too familiar with the city just yet, but he trusted she wasn't going to kidnap him. "I may be able to help you there," he started, he walked at her side. "The ballet is about telling a story through dance. You must know that already. Do your people tell stories?" All Christian knew about elves, he had learned from stories, himself. All of this was still a little surreal to him, and he wondered sometimes if it was all just a dream, despite what Tony and Irina had told him.

"Of course we do," she nodded. "But a story told through words must, by definition, be driven by emotion. I have never been asked to tell a story through dance, and ....I must admit, it is a struggle to even accept that it is possible to express emotion without sacrificing the perfection of movement. I am caught between a century of learning eradicate every nuance of feeling to preserve that perfection, and this very human insistence that the feeling is everything."

"Any story must be driven by emotion, whether it is told through words or images. The ballet combines music and dance to tell a story." He sighed thoughtfully and gnawed momentarily at his lower lip. "It is difficult to explain in words." He paused to open the door for her before following her outside into the afternoon, a slight chill in the air hinting at the coming fall.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:03 EST
"Thank you." She inclined her head to him in thanks for his gentlemanly manners, slipping out into the afternoon coolness with a long slow breath. "I do understand, academically, what it is Irina seems to want from me, but I do not understand how to do it. My training before I left my homeland was in perfect performance, not emotional conveyance."

"But if your technique is perfect, then you can afford to immerse yourself in the character. What is the character feeling" How can you convey that to the audience?" he asked, challenging her to think about her dancing a little differently. "It is about interpretation, not technique."

"But how do I do that?" she asked him, genuinely curious. What seemed to come so naturally for the human dancers was a difficult struggle for her, so used to cutting all emotion out of her performance. "How do I know what a character is feeling, much less show it to an audience?"

"Ah, how do I explain?" he asked, coming to a halt just outside the theater. "Let me think," he said, raising a finger to her to give him a moment. Not only was it a difficult concept to explain, but he had to find the right words in a language that wasn't his native tongue. "Let us say, for example, you are dancing the role of Cinderella. You know Cinderella, oui""

She paused with him, turning to face the man trying to explain a concept that was by its very nature almost impossible to put into words. "I do, yes," she nodded in agreement. "The cinder girl who dances at a ball, loses a shoe, and marries a prince."

"Oui, but there is more to it than that. It is about a girl who has lost her mother and her father. She is alone in the world, except for a stepmother and stepsisters who treat her cruelly, n'est ce pas" There is no love in her life, but she still has her dreams. She meets the prince and falls in love at first sight, but she knows it cannot be because she is but a lowly servant and he is a prince. And yet, he loves her, too. She flees the ball, terrified he will find out the truth, but eventually, he finds her and he marries her, and they live happily ever after. So, it is not just about dancing the part to perfection, but it is about conveying what she is feeling. How do you do that' You must become Cinderella. You must feel what she is feeling. You must make the audience forget you are a dancer and believe you are the character."

Merethyl listened closely, always happy to learn from others who shared the craft she had devoted herself to. What he said made a great deal of sense, but she was still a little fuzzy on how it went from concept to execution. "I must believe I am someone else and yet still retain the skill that I have gained?" she asked thoughtfully. "But if I were to truly believe I am Cinderella, then I would no longer be able to dance, surely."

"It is called acting, Merethyl. A good dancer is also an actor. Un moment ..." he said, lifting a finger once again to indicate he needed a moment and tapping the side of his cheek while he considered a thought. "Ah, regarde ....The Prince is confused and brokenhearted when she flees from him in the night, oui"" He stepped away from her, pressing his hand to his heart and using his body language and his facial expressions to show the turmoil he might be feeling if he were the Prince watching his beloved flee in the night. He outstretched a hand, imploringly, as if to call her back, turning his body away with the grace of an exceptionally skilled dancer, dipping his head to bury his face in the crook of his arm as if he is weeping with grief. All of this emotion was conveyed without words, with only facial expressions and the subtle movement of his body.

She watched, fascinated by the transformation. In an instant, he had gone from a dancer she had only just met, to a heartbroken Prince Charming. Despite herself, she could feel herself empathizing with the prince's plight, only now beginning to realize that this must be what Irina kept talking about. She had seen Tony and Anya do it, of course, but she had always assumed that it was their connection that made them so enthralling when they danced together. "But how do you do that?" she asked in amazement. "How do you become someone else?"

It wasn't difficult, it seemed, for him to transform into the heartbroken prince or to pull himself back from the illusion. "Practice," he replied simply. "You try now. You are Cinderella, and I am the Prince, and we have just met." He offered her a formal bow before reaching for her hand and lifting it to his lips for a kiss, his whole body moving in such a way that lent a certain elegance to his movement.

If only Irina could have seen this, she might have realized just what Merethyl's problem was. The elven woman had trained for almost two centuries in dance - pure dance. It wasn't that she was not capable of expressing emotion; it was her cultural perception that, in order to perform, she had to be perfect. She had never studied acting, and the terror that showed on her face at the thought of just doing it without any formal training was blatantly obvious. She froze, staring at Christian as though he had grown a second head. "I can't," she blurted out, her hand shaking in his. It was genuine fear - not merely the fear that was stage-fright, but a true fear of failing.

"Yes, you can," he told her, without moving, his body at least staying in character. "Use your imagination, Merethyl. Do you remember when you were a child" Do you remember how to pretend" Pretend you are Cinderella, and you have just met your Prince Charming. What would you do?"

"But I have not studied this," she tried to explain, proof positive that a long lifespan does not necessarily mean you are in any way more mature than those around you who live shorter lives. She hadn't been entirely honest about the way her people measured the periods of their lives - in a very real sense, she was the elven equivalent of around twenty, despite having triple digits to her age in years. "I do not know how to pretend to be someone else. I do not even know how to lie, and this is lying, isn't it?"

He sighed, dropping letting go of her hand and once again he was Christian and no longer Prince Charming. "It is not lying. It is acting. There is a difference." He offered her an arm, though he wasn't sure why. She was supposed to be taking him to get a drink somewhere, not the other way around. "Come," he said. This wasn't working. Perhaps he could explain over a drink.

His sigh hit her harder than any of Irina's shouting had ever done. For some reason, she didn't want to disappoint him, and it was clear that she had. "I am sorry," she said quietly, curling her arm through his as she looked down at her feet. "Perhaps I should resign my place and study this acting for a few years."

"Perhaps you should think of it this way ..." he started, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. For some reason, he seemed to have made her feel bad, which had not been his intent. "If Anthony did not think you were worth the investment, he would not have asked Irina to work with you. He is only trying to make you a better dancer. He is, I suppose, doing the same for me," he added with a frown, hoping Tony didn't hire him on just because he felt sorry for him.

"You must think I am very stupid," she murmured as they walked along. "But what comes naturally for you is not so easy for me. I had every emotion in my performance trained out of me when I was still a child. My parents were dancers, so I learned to dance with them. I never learned to feel what I was dancing." She shrugged, shaking her head. "It is as impossible for you to understand that upbringing as it is for me to understand how easily such performance comes to you. But I am dominating this conversation." Merethyl shook herself a little, drawing him toward a small coffee shop across the road. "Why would Tony want to make you a better dancer" You must be greatly superior already to have been hired."

"Rien n'est impossible," he told her quietly in his native French. Nothing is impossible. "Make me understand then. If I understand, perhaps I can help," he told her, frowning a little at her question, which he'd rather not answer, but which she'd likely find out sooner or later. "It is not so much about making me a better dancer as it is helping me overcome my fears, I suppose."

"Then perhaps we have the same problem," she said thoughtfully, reaching out to pull open the door to the coffee shop. "After you ....We both seem to have fears we are unable to overcome alone."

"Perhaps we do," he agreed, nodding his thanks with a muttered, "Merci," and letting go of her arm so that he could step inside. He breathed in the aroma of coffee, forgetting his problems for the time being to savor the coffee and the company. It was almost a relief to find something familiar in this very unfamiliar place.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:04 EST
It did not take long for them to order their drinks and find a comfortable seat together somewhere out of the way. As Merethyl infused her fruit tea, she considered what it was he had asked her to do. But how could she make him understand an entire way of life, she wondered. Sighing, she looked up. "Many people are unfamiliar with certain elvish ways of life," she began quietly. "My people mature far more slowly than yours. I was a child, both physically and mentally, for the first sixty years of my life. Even now, at more that two hundred years by your reckoning, I am still considered too young to be striking out on my own."

He waited for her to choose a place to sit before seating himself and sipping at his cafe au lait, more than a little surprised and pleased to know not everything here was new to him. He could not say the same for his companion, who was a marvel to him in many ways. "Two hundred years?" he echoed, though this was not the first time she had remarked on her people's longevity. "And I am just thirty years old," he told her, wondering if she thought him a child by her reckoning.

"You are older than me, in many ways," she smiled faintly, carefully removing the infuser from her cup and setting it to one side. "Because we develop so slowly, we have time to learn and we take that time. It took me a hundred years to dance well enough for my parents to allow me to dance in the courts. I have studied ballet for almost fifty years. To know that there is another skill that I must learn in order to dance well enough ....it is a frightening thing for me. To learn takes time, and I am constantly afraid of failing if I do not take the time that I have been taught is necessary." She sighed, glancing down at her cup. "I do not know if this is helping to explain."

He arched a brow at her story, obviously surprised to learn she had been dancing for a hundred years or more. That was more than the average human life span. He'd be lucky if he reached eighty or ninety. It struck him how very different they were, but that didn't mean they still couldn't be colleagues or perhaps even friends. "I think I understand, but you have the skills. You have perfected the technique. You only need to learn how to feel. You feel emotion, oui""

"Of course I feel," she laughed, shaking her head. "If I could not, then I would not be so afraid of failing. I would not be able to laugh and smile, to remember my parents with fondness, or look on the world with wonder. I do not know how to feel in dancing. And if I cannot do that, then have I wasted decades in learning an art form I will never perfect?"

"Hmm, d'accord. Let me ask you this then ....What do you feel when you are dancing?" he asked in a soft tone of voice with the French accent. It was hard to imagine him every raising that voice or getting angry. He took another sip of his coffee and milk mixture while studying her from where he sat, close enough to touch her, if he wanted to.

For the first time, she didn't have an answer ready on the tip of her tongue. She paused, considering what the truth was, aware of his eyes on her as she did so. And yet the answer, when it came, was so simple, it made her smile. "Peace," she told him quietly. "When I dance, I am completely calm, in balance with myself."

"And that is the problem," he told her. "You are not dancing for yourself, Merethyl," he said, leaning forward a little as if to make a point and gesturing toward her with his free hand. "You are dancing for the audience. You are playing a part, a role. You are telling a story. When I dance for myself, I feel pure joy, but when I dance for an audience, I am constantly aware of how everything I do - every facial expression, every movement, however slight - and how it will be perceived by the audience."

"Then I should not dance for myself, but for the people who watch me?" she asked curiously. "How can I do that, when so often in rehearsal there is no one there to watch but Irina, or Tony?"

For a woman who claimed to be over two hundred years old, it was almost like talking to a child. She had an answer - or rather, a question - for everything, and while she might have been dancing for over a hundred years, it was clear she knew very little about how to perform for a human audience and how to convey emotion through her dance. "Then you dance for Irina or Antony. You can dance for yourself, certainly, but when you are dancing for the ballet, you are not there only for your own enjoyment. You are there to entertain others - you are there for their enjoyment, not yours, n'est pas""

She nodded slowly, finally beginning to make sense of everything she was being told. "Then ....I should know my character, yes?" she asked thoughtfully. "When they give us the roles, I should research the character, I should learn all there is to know about them." A thought occurred to her, and she seemed to light up as the idea took root. "Ah! I should teach the audience who the character is through the dance, yes?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, smiling brightly as she finally seemed to be getting it. It was a start, anyway. "The more you know about the character, the more you will be able to become them." Of course, he did not mean that literally, but he hoped she understood that it was about interpretation, not about literally becoming someone else.

"So that is why the costumes are so elaborate," she mused thoughtfully. "I had wondered why. It is so that the audience sees the character, and not the dancer who is performing the character, yes?"

"Oui! Exactement!" he replied, beaming proudly, happy she was finally starting to understand. "Of course, they know it is not real and that we are dancers playing parts and telling a story, but if we do our job well, for a little while, they can forget and lose themselves in the story. Comprendre""

"It makes sense now," Merethyl admitted, though she doubted Irina could ever have made her understand the way Christian had. Of course, understanding was only the first step toward the ultimate goal, but it was the beginning, and she was stubborn enough to follow it through, no matter what it cost her. "Thank you, Christian. I wonder that I did not see it before. You have magic in your lips."

"De rien," he replied, still smiling, happy to have been of help. He chuckled at the remark about his lips, more amused than embarrassed at her turn of phrase. "I think you mean words," he corrected her, blue eyes dancing with amusement. No one had ever told him that before - not even those who'd been his lovers.

She chuckled softly. "No, I know what I meant." For a brief moment, the blue of her eyes quite literally sparkled as she shared her smile with him, before the color deadened once again to a hue that did not alarm the denizens of this world that was not her own. "You have helped me. Perhaps now I can help you."

He arched both brows, looking surprised and maybe a little startled by her reply, and just a little mesmerized by the sparkle in her eyes that reminded him - along with the shape of her ears - that she was not human, almost to his dismay. He shook his head in confusion, as if to clear the cobwebs from his head. "Pardon," he told her, rubbing at a temple. "I have only been here a few days. Many things here are still very new to me." Including herself.

Merethyl looked confused herself for a moment, before realizing what the problem was. "Forgive me, I do not always remember to keep such stern control over my appearance when I feel something strongly," she apologized to him. "When I first arrived, I had a great deal of trouble preventing people from hurting themselves simply through the fact of their staring at me, so I adjusted the way I appear to be less conspicuous. My eyes, yes?"

"Yes, but ....forgive me for saying so, but they are lovely ....your eyes. I do not understand how people might hurt themselves because of them," he said, a confused expression on his face. He had never seen eyes such as hers, and he thought it was a shame to hide such loveliness.

"Let me show you," she smiled, and sat back a little way, relaxing the glamor she habitually wore. Very gently, the darker blue of her eyes faded to that sparkling lighter hue, the blonde of her hair faded to almost white, her skin grew paler, her lips more defined with softer pink. It was not a complete transformation by any standards, but she was remarkable enough to need to disguise herself a little in order to be accepted.

He watched, entranced by the transformation, but instead of being frightened by the change in her, he only found her more beautiful and alluring. He realized he was staring and he felt his face flush with embarrassment. "Excuse-moi. I do not mean to stare," he told her, but now he understood.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:04 EST
She only smiled, renewing the glamor that allowed her to pass a little more easily among a predominantly human society as he apologized. "There's no need to apologize," she assured him. "I know that my natural appearance is a little too other-worldly for most humans, and this is a human dominated society. I do not wear the glamor constantly, but when I am going to be seen, it is almost always there."

"I must confess I have never met anyone like you," he told her, a little embarrassed even by that, but he had already told her he was new to Rhy'Din, so it shouldn't be that hard to believe that he'd never met an elf before.

"As far as I can tell, not many have," she told him, trying to help him accept that it was all right to be fascinated by other races. "I am a moon elf, one of the high elves in the land where I was born. We keep mostly to ourselves, though we are very friendly with outsiders. I am the first of us in many, many years to leave the forests and strike out on my own."

"Then you are not from Rhy'Din either?" he asked curiously, though it was only the first of many questions. While it was true that he had never met anyone like her, he knew he was likely just another human to her.

"No, I was not born here," she smiled, taking a sip of her tea. "I am from a land I know as Faerun, but I have met others who say they are from Faerun, and describe a world I do not know. Perhaps it is better to say that I am from one of the Faeruns, just as you are from one of the Earths. I assume," she added quickly. "That you are from Earth, I mean. Most humans are."

"Oui, I am from a place call Montreal," he said, pronouncing it as a proper French Canadian would with the T silent. "It is a city on Earth." He did not remark on multiples Earths, as he was not aware of any but the one. "I have never heard of Faerun," he told her, though that much was probably already obvious. "What is it like?"

"Montreal," she repeated, commiting the word to memory. His question, however, made her laugh once again. "I would not know where to begin," she admitted. "It is very different to this world, and others. I have heard, for example, that technology and science drive innovation and progress on Earth, yes" On Faerun, it is magic that drives us on; magic that maintains us. Divine magic, given to priests by the gods that rule us; and arcane magic, which is often an innate gift many are born with."

What she was telling him was so foreign to everything he'd ever known he almost wondered, not for the first time, if all of this was some strange dream, though it seemed very real. "There is no magic on Earth, only in stories." Like the ballet they were going to be performing in a few months. "Do you know magic?" he asked further, his coffee forgotten for the moment.

"I know a little," she shrugged. "Enough to disguise my looks, or light a candle. Elves are naturally more disposed toward magic than other races on my world, though dwarves are born with a natural resistence to it. I never studied it, so what I know are small, basic tricks that everyone knows."

Obviously, he had seen firsthand the magic she had used to disguise make herself blend in better, so that went without saying. "I'm sorry," he apologized again, this time in English, though she seemed to be having no trouble understanding him, whichever language he chose to speak in. "All of this is very new to me. Anthony warned me I might have trouble adjusting, but ..." He shrugged, as if he either had no choice or had no words to explain further.

"There are a great many differences between this world and your own," she agreed softly, reaching out to lay a small hand on top of his reassuringly. "It is a matter of time, to grow a little better accustomed to them. I take it that it was Tony's idea for you to come here, then?"

He nodded his head, looking a little unsettled. He hadn't been in Rhy'Din long after all, and though he trusted Tony and took him at his word, all of this was a bit much to absorb. "He promised I would be able to dance again."

She blinked, a little bemused by this. After all, the way Irina had spoken to him had made it sound as though he would be joining her embarrassing drilling in the morning. "Something is stopping you from dancing?"

"I am ..." There was that reluctant pause again. "How do you say' Recuperation?" he said tentatively, using the more familiar word in French. "From an injury. I was told I would never dance again," he explained, wondering if she had any idea what such a diagnosis meant to him.

"Recuperating, recovering," she corrected him gently, but the horror in her eyes at the sharing of what his doctor had told him was more than reassurance enough that she could easily understand how awful it must be. "But, of course, your doctors do not know magic, and here on Rhy'Din, there are healers who do."

"Exactement," he replied, though the grave expression remained on his face. He was not convinced that he was entirely healed yet, though he was no longer in any pain. "I can dance," he explained. "But I am not sure I can dance with a partner."

"Then that would explain why Irina wishes us to drill together," Merethyl said quietly. "I may be the same height as others you have danced with, but I am significantly lighter. I do not know why, but elves seem less dense physically than other races." She shrugged, offering him a comical smile. "And there is no rush to lift, surely. A cavalier performs many actions, not all of which are taking his partner's weight."

It was obvious from the look on his face that this was troubling him greatly, though he had not spoken of it before to anyone but Tony and Irina. He was a dancer; it was all he'd ever known, all he'd ever been, all he'd ever wanted to be. "Oui, bien sur, but I will have to try eventually."

She considered him for a long moment, all kinds of thoughts passing through her mind before she decided on one in particular. "Stand up with me," she told him, rising to her feet. Just here, there was a ledge against the wall that was barely a foot high, wide enough for her to stand on, which she did. "Help me down," she told him, daring him to naysay her suggestion.

He arched a brow up at her as she rose to her feet, following her with his eyes. Was she going to do what he thought she was going to do' Did she really expect him to lift her right then and then" But then, she was only asking him to lift her off a short ledge. It should hardly take any effort at all. "I am not sure this is such a good idea," he warned her, obviously reluctant - fearful, even - even as he got to his feet and set his cafe au lait aside on the table.

On the ledge, she was barely a couple of inches taller than he was - if that - her smile warm and confident in him. She knew her weight, she knew he had been highly trained, and she knew that once he had done it a single time, it would no longer hold him back from the basics as it must now do. "I am positive that it is," she assured him. "I will not hurt you, Christian. Trust in me."

He sighed, frowning at her, wondering how she could possibly know that for sure. "It is not you who worries me," he said, but he obediently placed his hands against her waist, pausing a moment as his eyes met hers. She was nearly on a level with him now that she was standing on the ledge, blue eyes meeting blue eyes - different and yet the same. He held no magic in his ice blue gaze, only a very human, very mortal longing and hope. "This is not the kind of move I am afraid of," he told her, and yet, he knew he'd be able to feel the tension in his muscles - in his arms and shoulders and back, in those very places that had been hurt so horribly. This was a test - they both knew it. Would he pass or would he fail?

Her hands laid themselves gently on his shoulders as his found their place at her waist, her smile as confident in him as he was unsure of his own physicality. "It is a beginning," she reminded him gently. "A body is a very different object to lift than a weight. I will not hurt you, and you will not drop me, I am sure of it." Slowly, she leaned into him, letting her own weight, insignificant as it was, ease into his grasp. But she did not take her feet from the ledge; it was up to him to lift her that small way down, when he was ready.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:05 EST
He was confident he could lift her that small way down, but whether he'd ever be able to lift over his head" That was another matter entirely. Still, it was a start, no matter how small, and he knew she was only trying to help. "Of course, I will not drop you," he assured her. "It is only a few inches." And with that said, he picked her up off the ledge and set her down effortlessly onto the floor, as if it was nothing. He had felt her weight pull on his muscles, but at least, there had been no popping, no tearing, and no pain.

As her feet safely found the floor, Merethyl smiled up at him, gently patting his chest. "There," she nodded. "You have made a beginning. I am told that small steps will take you to your destination faster than running before you are able to." It was a slightly tortured rendition of a well-known proverb, but it said what she needed it to say. "Your coffee is getting cold."

You have to learn to walk before you can run was obviously what she was trying to say and he understood that, but he had never suffered an injury such as this before, and it wasn't so much the injury as the fear that was the problem. He frowned a little as she admonished him about his coffee, turning to pull her chair out for her before retaking his own seat. He wasn't sure he was much in the mood for coffee anymore. "It seems perhaps we both have," he remarked.

Easing down into her seat, she took up her tea once again, considering him. "What is it that holds you back, Christian?" she asked him softly. "What happened to harm your confidence so?"

He shrugged his shoulders, idly turning the coffee cup between his hands. "I was doing an overhead lift with my partner during rehearsal and I felt something tear in my shoulder and pop in my back. I managed not to drop her, but I tore a ligament and ruptured two discs. I had surgery and was told I'd never dance again."

"And yet here you are, preparing to dance once again," she pointed out softly. "You have seen a healer here on Rhy'Din. Tony believes in you." She reached out, the back of her hand trailing her knuckles gently against his cheek. "Magic is a powerful force, but it is fear that will hurt you again. Fear too much, and you will harm yourself trying to prove that you are not afraid."

He reached for her hand, taking it between his own. Though he wasn't sure why, it gave him some comfort to feel that simple touch, to know that he wasn't alone, that she seemed to care or at least understand, though they had only just met. "I am afraid it will happen again, and then, perhaps it will not only be me who is hurt," he confessed quietly. "Antony believes in me, oui, but do I believe in myself?"

Her slender fingers curled about his hand as he took her hand between his. "There is a way to grow accustomed to such lifts without risking harm to your partner," she told him. "Two ways, but one is perhaps the more mundane, and perhaps easier to handle. I was taught to be lifted while in water; it was not until I could hold my shape and prevent myself overbalancing that I was permitted to attempt such lifts on land. Or there is the technique I employed while Jamie was still learning to be confident in his skills - I levitated, slowly giving him more of my weight each time until he was holding me without the aid of such magic. Either could help you, Christian."

But was she volunteering to help him or was she only suggesting a method he could employ himself with some other partner" "Peut etre," he admitted. Perhaps. "If I cannot do this, I will never be a danseur noble again."

Merethyl's lips curved in a slow smile. "Can you swim?" she asked him innocently. The place she was thinking of did not actually sink deep enough to require him to swim, but the ability to do so would help.

But then he knew no other dancers who were capable of levitating, so was she really volunteering to help him' One brow arched upwards at her question, still unsure if she was volunteering to help him. "Oui, I can swim."

Her eyes showed off that faint sparkle once again, proof that she was enjoying being able to offer a little help. "How soon would you like to begin?" she asked, the mischief in her smile making her seem far younger than the two centuries she carried with her.

"With you?" he asked, lifting his brows in surprise, though it seemed Tony and Irina wanted them to work together to overcome both their problems. "Um ..." he stammered a moment, before realizing he had very few obligations, other than getting back in shape for the ballet. "I will need to buy some, how do you say?" he asked, gesturing with a hand as he searched for the proper translation of a word. "Le maillot. Swim pants."

Merethyl looked utterly blank for a moment. Then her observations over the past few years came back to her. "Oh, of course, humans wear clothing when they enter the water," she nodded with a smile. "In which case, I should buy some myself. I doubt you would be comfortable if I did not." She couldn't help chuckling, though - the thought of attempting to retrain his muscles with lifting while he was trying not to notice her naked body was genuinely entertaining.

There went that expressive eyebrow of his again. Apparently, elves did not wear clothing in the water, he assumed, trying to keep his gaze level with her face and not let his imagination roam. He was, after all, a man - unattached and a little too available - and he couldn't help but notice that she was beautiful. "Are you offering to help me, then?" he asked, though it seemed that she was.

"You have helped me," she pointed out in her gentle way. "I would very much like to help you, if you wish it. Irina seems determined that we should help each other, but I do not think we will get much done in a studio if we are both holding ourselves back out of fear. Besides, her shouting begins to grate on the nerves after an hour or so." She flashed that sweet smile of hers at him once again, flexing her fingers about his where he still held her hand.

That made him chuckle, anyway. "I have known Irina for many years. How do they say' Her bark is worse than her bite," he said, smiling at last. He belatedly realized he was still holding her hand, but instead of letting go, he gave her hand a soft squeeze. If they were going to train and dance together, there would be a lot more than handholding going on between them, and he wasn't shy where the ballet was involved.

"Her bark gets tiresome after four hours of it," Merethyl mused with a faint laugh in her tone. "So when would you like to begin, Christian' We are not required for full rehearsals for two weeks yet."

"Do you know of a place where we can do this?" he asked, thinking that was probably the first order of business after buying himself a few pairs of swim trunks anyway.

"I do," she assured him. "A private place. I have never seen any other use it, though it is a little way outside the city. Not so far as to be difficult to reach, though, and the water is always warm, even in the depths of winter." Her smile turned nostalgic for a moment. "When I first came here, I swam there in the middle of a bitter snowstorm, and only the flakes touched me."

"How long have you been here?" he asked, taking up his cafe au lait for a sip now that the conversation had turned once again. There was still very little they knew of each other. Wherever this place was, he trusted it would be safe. It sounded like a hot springs, but he wasn't familiar enough with Rhy'Din to know of the location of any.

With one hand in his, and with no inclination to let go, she mirrored his sip with her own tea before answering. "I first came to Rhy'Din three years ago," she told him. "I accidentally fell through a portal from another world, and ended up here with nothing but the clothes on my back. The elven community here were very good to me, and I have repaid all I was given. Now my life is my own again."

"Can you go back?" he asked further. Maybe she didn't want to go back, or maybe she didn't know how. Either way, it seemed she had made a life here for herself and seemed perfectly content living it. She was the first person he'd met since arriving that wasn't human, though he'd seen a few others in passing.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:05 EST
"I can," she nodded. "But I don't want to, not yet. I want to stay, to learn, to discover more. I will go home to die, not before. Faerun seems so small now I have been here, to the hub of all places. Anything is possible."

"To die," he echoed. "But that will not be for many years, non"" he asked, uncertainly. She had alluded to the fact that she was young for an elf, though she was over two centuries old. He couldn't imagine living that long and wasn't sure if he envied or pitied her.

"The oldest elf I have ever known was close onto a thousand years old," she admitted with a rueful grimace. "But most choose to go to Arvanaith at half that age. It is our choice, if we are not killed by other means. I will live until I cannot bear to live any longer, then I shall go to Arvanaith."

"Arvanaith," he repeated, the word clumsy and foreign on his tongue. "Is it like Heaven?" he asked, wondering if she knew what Heaven was, or at least, if she understood the concept of it. Of course, no one knew for sure if Heaven was real or not, but she seemed sure that this Arvanaith was a real place.

"It is our afterlife," she told him softly. "A realm within Arvandor, the celestial realm of the Seldarine, our gods. When the spirit prepares to leave the body, Sehanine Moonbow tells us where we must go in order to cross over. It is a time of celebration, not sadness." She considered his question for a long moment. "I think, perhaps, Heaven is a fair equivalency."

"You choose to die when you are ready?" he asked, assuming that was what she meant by her explanation, though he didn't understand everything she was telling him. Some of the words were unfamiliar to him, though he thought he mostly understood her meaning.

"Not exactly." It was difficult to explain, especially to a short-lived race, just how the call to Arvanaith came about. "Everyone becomes tired of life at some point. When that comes, Sehanine Moonbow sends us waking dreams, visions to lead us to the place where we may cross over. Her moonbow appears in our eyes, and our friends and family will know it is time to say goodbye. But she does not call for us until we are ready to go."

He couldn't imagine living more than a hundred years, and though her people's beliefs sounded strange, he saw no reason not to believe her. "You must think us very short-lived," he mused aloud, though he assumed they must have a different way of valuing and measuring time. She'd said she was young for an elf, though she was over twice the usual life span of a human. She had also alluded to a family here in Rhy'Din that was of mixed blood, and he wondered how that worked but maybe it was a question for another time.

"On the contrary," Merethyl shook her head, smiling, "I find humans fascinating. My people have a way of life that is slow and measured; I am utterly enthralled by a race who cram all the wonders of a lifetime into a span shorter than my childhood." As she spoke, her face was bright and animated, proving that she was sincere in her words. "It isn't about the length of time you have. It's about what you do with it."

"I am already thirty years old," he told her, for the second time. "I have perhaps sixty more years, if I'm lucky. I will age and grow old and eventually die, while you remain young. It is that way with all humans." And that was a best case scenario, assuming he didn't die from an accident or illness before that. He wasn't sure why it mattered really, but she was right about one thing. "One must make the most of the years they are given."

"We only remain youthful on the outside," she countered quietly, looking down at her cup. "Perhaps those who do not leave home stay young for longer. But those who travel, who mix with other races ....they age, they learn wisdom, and they always go to Arvanaith before anyone expects them to." She looked up at him, her eyes somehow eternally sad. "There are only so many friends you can watch grow old and die, before something inside you dies with them."

"Why do you not return home then?" he asked, curiously. He could only imagine how difficult it would be to watch all those around you grow old and die, while you remained. Wouldn't it be easier to return to her own people and not have to watch those she cared about leave her behind" It would certainly become lonely after a while, but perhaps that was why they'd choose to go to this Arvanaith before their allotted years were done. "What of those who intermarry' What becomes of them?"

"What will I learn about myself if I stay at home all the long years of my life?" she asked mildly. "How will I be able to teach others of my race not to fear the unalike, if I don't know the unalike as well as I know myself" I will have time, when I go home, to share what I have learned and experienced, and my experiences will encourage others to step out of the safety of our home and experience the world for themselves. I don't see that as a bad thing." Her smile softened as he turned the conversation to those who had intermarried. "I have not known intimately anyone who has married outside our race," she admitted, "but I know the tales. We bond with the ones we love; it is a deep joining, a merging of souls, I suppose you would call it. When the shorter lived comes to an end, the elf will often remain to be certain any children of that union are well and safe. Sometimes the bond with their children is enough, but I have been told that, more often than not, the loss of that deep love brings on the call to Arvanaith. Sehanine Moonbow does not want us to suffer, chained to life when there is no joy in it. So she calls us home, to find a new kind of joy in the realm beyond life."

"But if that is true, you will never see each other again, n'est-ce pas" My people - les humain - mankind ....we believe many things. Some believe that after death, there is nothing. Some believe we go to a better place, which some call Heaven, and there we will once more be with all those who went before us. I do not know what is true, but if that is so, it seems sad that two souls who love each other would eventually be parted forever."

"There is no provision in your creed, or in mine, for what happens when those two souls are parted," she pointed out. "But I do not believe that the Seldarine are so cruel as to keep love away just because it does not conform to the accepted way of things. Perhaps, for those souls, Arvanaith and Heaven are merely stepping stones to an afterlife that will be shared for all eternity?"

"Peut etre," he admitted with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I suppose we shall never know," he added with a small frown, though it hardly affected him. Perhaps she'd find out the truth someday, when she at last went to this Arvanaith of hers, but he would likely be dead and gone by then.

Merethyl Benoit

Date: 2015-09-20 02:06 EST
"Maybe not," she conceded. "But I do not believe my gods are cruel." She didn't continue on that path of conversation, drinking the last of her tea in one graceful gesture. "You did not say when you would like to begin this practise of ours."

He shrugged his shoulders again, following her lead and draining what was left of his coffee. It wasn't like he had a strict schedule or regimen to follow. They were both supposed to see Irina in the morning, and other than that, his time was his own. "I can begin whenever you like, but I need to buy a pair of swim shorts first," he reminded her.

"As do I," she chuckled. "Well, I suppose I would need to buy more than simply shorts." There was her sweet smile again. "Shall we, then" I promise I will not take advantage of you while you are underdressed."

"Now?" he asked, looking a little shocked. Did she want to shop for swim clothes or show him the pool or practice only wearing their underthings - if she was wearing underthings - the thought of which made his gaze wander momentarily again.

Merethyl laughed her merry little laugh again as she rose to her feet. "If we are to practise today, then we should buy what needs to be bought sooner rather than later, yes?" she suggested, squeezing his hand on last time before reclaiming her own from his grasp.

"For someone who has all the time in the world, you don't waste time, do you?" he asked, an amused smile on his face. He almost regretted her letting go of his hand, but it was just a simple friendly touch, after all, and if they were going to be practicing and dancing together, there would be a lot more of that as the days went on.

"I may be old, but I am still eager," she laughed back at him, drawing her bag up onto her shoulder. This was a side of her Irina had never seen; the playful, sweet girl who habitually hid behind the aloof elf. "If you are very nice to me, I might let you choose my suit for me."

He got to his feet, arching a brow at her teasing. "Why would I not be nice to you?" he asked, turning her question back around on her and chuckling a little at the suggestion he pick out her swimsuit. "I am not sure I would be a very good judge of that."

"Unless you would rather I went without ..." There was that merry laugh again, inviting him out into the autumn chill as she slipped onto the street. After a morning spent working against fears she hadn't realised she was struggling with, to a shared drink with someone who knew fear as well as she did, Merethyl was eager to spend a little more time with Christian Benoit.

"I think perhaps I should not comment on that," he replied, a small smirk on his face. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't regarding that question. He couldn't deny that he found her attractive, and yet, they were as different as night and day. Still, it seemed they were at least going to be dance partners for a little while. Only time would tell if anything else developed. Who knew" Perhaps this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.