Topic: Reaching a Decision

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:47 EST
Sofia was too young yet to take part in all the excitement that was the first day of school, but Tony and Anya had decided she was ready for pre-school, if only to partake in the whole social aspect of it. That didn't mean they were happy to let go of their daughter, even for just a few hours, but both trusted it would be good for her to spend a little time with children her own age. Still, it hadn't been more than ten minutes since they dropped her off, and Tony was already moping.

"I can't believe she's almost four. How dare she grow up!" he complained to Anya.

Anya just about managed to prevent herself from rolling her eyes. "You would rather keep her a small baby for eternity, milaya?" she asked him sweetly, squeezing his hand as they walked together along the road.

"Well, no ....I mean, I could do without diapers," he replied, honestly enough, with an easy-going smile. "But I am not ready to let her grow up yet," he complained, though Sofia was nowhere near ready to grow up on them yet.

"She is only three years old," his wife reminded him in amusement. "What will you be like next year, when she goes off to school for the first time?" She laughed teasingly. "Besides ....you still have diapers in your future. We just need to pick a date, really."

"A nervous wreck," Tony murmured in reply, only half-teasing. It wasn't the fact that Sofia was going off to pre-school so much as that he could hardly believe she was almost four years old already. He arched a brow at his wife's remark. They'd been talking about the possibility of having another, but they hadn't set a date yet. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"Are you ready?" She turned the question around on him with a smile. "We have always said we would like more children. Should we do it the traditional way, or should we adopt?"

Now that was a question he had not yet considered. "Adopt?" he asked, steering her toward his sister's cafe to grab a coffee and a bite to eat before they continued on to the theater. "I had not considered that."

"I had not, either," she admitted. "Well, not seriously. But it did occur to me, after we saw Jon and Victoria taking their new little girl around the theater ....there is no reason we could not consider it, is there?"

"No, I suppose there isn't," Tony admitted thoughtfully. It wasn't something he'd considered either, but it was a good thought. They already had one child of their own, and Rhy'Din was notorious for an over-abundance of orphans, all of them in need of good homes. "Are you serious about this?"

"Yes," she confessed, pushing open the door to Incredible Edibles. She offered a wave to the hobbit behind the counter, and slid into a seat by the window. "I would be happier with a baby, rather than an older child. I think Sofia would cope better with a baby as well."

Tony mirrored Anya's wave to the hobbit behind the counter before sliding into a seat across from her. "Two coffees, please, Mags!" he called over, holding up two fingers out of habit. He turned back to Anya to consider her words. "I think so, too," he agreed, unable to imagine them bringing a child into the family who was older than Sofia.

"Perhaps it is selfish of me, but ....I would not have to stop dancing, either," Anya admitted ruefully. "Of course I would step back for a short while, do less while we settle into things, as I did when Sofia was tiny. But I would still dance every day."

"No, that makes perfect sense," Tony replied, pausing a moment to think it over. There was only one thing that worried him. "Do you think we could love another child as much as we love Sofia?" he asked, especially one that was not theirs by birth. It wouldn't be fair to the child if the answer to that question was no.

"Da, yes." The question didn't need thinking about for Anya. "Love is not finite, Tony. It grows, it does not run out. But, milaya, this is not something you must agree to. If you have even the slightest doubt, we should not do it."

Tony nodded his thanks as the coffees were dropped off at their table, along with some pastries. They were regulars here and their routine was well known. And as far as Tony was concerned, they had the best coffee in town. Of course, it didn't help that his sister owned the place. Once the server had left, Tony took a sip of his coffee, pausing to consider Anya's argument.

"Well, we always wanted more children," he reasoned. "But I know you miss dancing, and there are too many unwanted children in Rhy'Din. What if we look into the possibility before we decide for sure?" he countered.

She smiled, relieved that he had not immediately gone with a resounding yes or no. She knew her Tony; he would want to know everything he could possibly know about the situation before he made a firm decision one way or another. "Spasibo," she murmured. "I agree. I am sure Mataya will be able to point us in the right direction - that woman seems to know everyone!"

Tony chuckled at Anya's remark regarding his sister. "She does seem to think so, doesn't she?" he replied, looking amused, though he didn't deny that fact. "How long have you been thinking about this?" he asked, knowing Anya never did anything on a whim either. It couldn't have just been Bea's visit to the theater that had brought this on.

Sipping her coffee, Anya offered him a slightly guilty look. "About a year," she confessed. "You recall, we took the ballet to the Seven Towers Orphanage shortly after it was reopened. It hurts my heart to know that every day there are more children in this city who may never have a home and a family until they make one for themselves as adults."

Tony frowned, reaching across the table to tangle his fingers with hers. They were not Rhy'Din natives, but the plight of the children here seemed even more tragic than that of orphans back home on Earth. "If it means that much to you, then we will do it," he told her, without hesitation. The tricky part, he thought, would be trying to pick the right one.

"Tony, this is not just about me," Anya reminded him gently. "This is about us, our family. My sense of guilt is not enough for us to offer a home to a child who has none. I will not agree to it unless it is in your heart to do it, as well."

"It's not that, cara," Tony started, frowning thoughtfully. "It is just that I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love Sofia. I know that sounds silly, and I know we have talked about having more children, but I don't want any child of ours to feel unloved, adopted or not."

"Oh, Tony ..." Anya's smile actually deepened as he offered this up. "That is not the way it works, milaya. You have three sisters. Did you run out of love for them before Elena was born?"

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:47 EST
"No, of course not," Tony replied, a little taken aback by his wife's reasoning. He'd been the eldest of the four of them, and he'd adored each and every of the sisters that had been after him.

"So why do you think that your capacity to love your children is any different to your capacity to love your sisters?" she asked gently. "Do not look so offended."

Tony blinked again, this time at his wife's gentle admonishment, but he understood the point she was trying to make. "I don't know," he replied with a worried frown. He hadn't had the best role-model growing up with a father who'd eventually abandoned him and his sisters, leaving him behind as the man of the house, while he was still little more than a child himself.

"Tony, all you need to love a child is the ability to love," Anya told him. "Love is not something that runs out - it grows. If you can love your mother, your sisters, your daughter, me ....you can love another child."

"I don't want to be like my father, Anya. I ..." He trailed off, knowing he'd said more than he'd intended to. There was absolutely no reason to think he was anything like his father.

"Tony ..." Anya reached over to take his hand. "You are not your father. You will never be your father. I do not fear a life without you, because I know that you will never leave me. You will never leave us."

"No," Tony said, wrapping both his hands around hers and giving her hand a gentle squeeze, a soft if sad smile on his face at the memory of his father's betrayal. "I will never be like him, cara. Never," he said, promising her that without quite saying so. Why his father had left them, he might never know, but he was certain he would never be like him. "What is the first step, do you think?" he asked. If she believed in him, the least he could do was try to believe in himself. He was a good husband to Anya and a good father to Sofia. There was no reason to think he wouldn't be a good father, no matter how many children they welcomed into their lives.

"No, you will not," she agreed firmly. "Because you are your own man, and you are a good man, besides." She smiled over at him, stroking her thumb over his knuckles. "And I should like to visit one of the orphanages with you, just to find out how it all works, before we make any certain decisions." At least they wouldn't have to discuss it with Sofia beforehand.

"That sounds like a good place to start," Tony agreed. "Which one did you want to visit?" he asked, though he had a feeling she was going to suggest Seven Towers, as that was the orphanage they knew the best.

"I thought, perhaps, the Circle?" Anya suggested. "They care for children under five years old exclusively. They would seem to be the best people to talk to."

"Would you like me to call and make an appointment?" he asked, unsure what the protocol was exactly for going about this. Did you call in advance or just show up" He assumed there would be interviews and paperwork involved, too. It wasn't like adopting a pet.

"I do not know precisely how it all works," she admitted. "I think perhaps we should call them, if only to find out what we do first." She smiled, shaking her head. "I am told it is a lengthy process, but worth it, in the end."

"Have you talked to Jon or Vicki about it at all?" Tony asked, before taking a sip of his coffee. "They might be able to give us some advice," he said, though it seemed they were just going through the process themselves.

Anya raised her brow at him above a wry smile. "Why would I speak to them about such a thing before speaking to you about it?" she pointed out. "We are in this together, it is not a decision I could come to alone."

He smiled, looking at little abashed at the way he'd phrased his question. "You're right, of course, cara. And if they are only just going through the process, I'm not sure what advice they could give us," he admitted, pausing a moment as another thought came to mind. "I think if we do this, we should not think of it as adopting, so much as choosing to welcome another child into our lives." Albeit a child of their own choosing, rather than one that was born to them.

Anya frowned in confusion. "Is that not what adoption means?" she asked, tilting her head uncertainly. "Is the word misused, somehow?" That was part of the problem with being bilingual - she could easily be confused by the complexities of her non-native language.

"Yes, but what I mean is we will have to choose one child from many. I am not sure how to do that," he said, trying to put his thoughts into words. "If we had a baby, we would only have to decide to have another child, but this way, we have to decide what child we want. Si?" he asked, hoping she understood what he was trying to say.

"But ....milaya ....we do not get to choose the temperament or the personality of a child born to us naturally," she pointed out. "It is no different to making the commitment to raise a baby to adulthood who was not born of us."

"No, I suppose not," Tony admitted with a thoughtful frown. A baby was a baby, whether it was theirs by birth or adopted. What was it that was bothering him then" Was it still the fear that he wouldn't be a good father" He had already proved himself a good father with Sofia, and he had always assumed they would have more than one child someday. "There are so many orphans," he said quietly, after a long moment of silence. "How do we choose only one?" And how did they choose the right one"

"We let the staff guide us?" she hazarded. "I would assume that they know best when it comes to matching a family together. And ....we cannot predict how it will go, Tony. Worrying about such things will only serve to prevent us from even trying."

"We could not predict how things would go when we had Sofia either," he reasoned aloud, probably more for his own sake than hers. "You've given this a lot of thought," he assumed aloud.

"I have ....been considering it for a while," she admitted quietly. "It is not a secret, Tony. It is just an option, and one we should consider looking into. It would be a good thing, would it not?"

Tony smiled again, his fingers tangled with hers. He loved her more than life itself, and wanted to make her happy, but not only that. Like her, he wanted another child, too. He had just never considered adoption before. "It would be a good thing," he agreed, his smile warm with affection. "What do you think Sofia will think about having a little brother or sister?"

Anya snorted with laughter. "I think she will complain at first, and then adore them," she predicted. "So long as we make sure she is not left out or overlooked."

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:48 EST
"I don't think there's any fear of that," Tony said with a grin, knowing Sofia would put her little toddler foot down if that were to ever happen. "I suppose we should make a few phone calls then."

"One or two, da," she agreed, finishing off her coffee. "But first ....we need to show up to the first week's warm ups and practices with the new roll call, or Irina will never forgive us."

Tony rolled his eyes at the mention of Irina. "She will never forgive us, even though she doesn't really need us," he remarked, though that wasn't quite true. "Do you think you would rather adopt a boy or a girl?" he asked, finishing off his coffee.

"I would like to give you a son," Anya confessed, "but I think that is my mother's influence, her traditional values. She had three sons, after all; I was an afterthought." She smiled at Tony. "For myself, I do not mind. What of you?"

"I'm not sure," he replied honestly enough. "I have been surrounded by little women all my life. I'm not sure how I would feel about having a son," he admitted.

"Then we will see what fate decides for us," Anya suggested. "I feel sure you would thrive with a son, but I will not force the issue. Let us see what happens, nyet?"

"Let us see what happens," Tony agreed, leaning toward her to offer a kiss, before pulling her to her feet, that warm smile still on his face that betrayed how much he adored her. Though Tony was generous with his smiles, no one received the kind of smiles he showered upon his Anya and Sofia.

"God, you two can be nauseating sometimes."

Anya giggled into Tony's kiss at the sound of his baby sister's greeting, drawing back to tilt a vaguely accusing look at Elena.

The youngest of the De Luca siblings just grinned back. "What have you done with my niece, you unspeakably good parents, you?"

Tony couldn't help but smirk at the sound of his baby sister's voice as he gave Anya another kiss - this one noisier than the last - just because he could. "Your niece, if you must know, is enjoying her first day of preschool," he explained. "And just for that remark, we'll have two coffees and two - no, make that three - slices of raspberry cheesecake to go." He couldn't forget Irina, after all.

Chuckling, Elena relayed this to the counter, where Mags was holding court. It was reasonably quiet right now in the cafe, though the lunch rush tended to start at about eleven and end at three. "Going to play nice with the newbies in the theater, huh?" she teased her brother affectionately.

It was Tony's turn to snort. "What newbies" It's practically the same troupe we had last year. Not a single newbie among them. I was hoping we'd get at least one or two, but I suppose ballerinas are hard to come by on Rhy'Din." Which was probably why many of them had been imported from Earth.

"Whatever it is you do when you're not being choreographers and important not-dancers," Elena corrected herself, grinning as she waved a hand. "We're still on for dinner tonight, right?"

"My dearest sister," Tony said, moving over to brush a kiss against her cheek, "I would not miss it for the world." It was a little over the top - and it could be argued whether she truly was his "dearest" sister - but he hoped she would find him amusing anyway.

"Oh, 'Taya's gonna kill you for that," Elena predicted sweetly, grinning back at her brother. "She thinks she's your favorite."

Anya laughed, rolling her eyes at the pair of them as she rose to pay at the counter. "I think I should throw you both to Rosita and Teresa and see what happens," she threatened cheerfully.

"Ah, but I said 'dearest', not favorite," Tony pointed out with a grin, as he playfully bopped his sister's nose. "I'd bring cheesecake for all the so-called newbies, but Irina would have my head. Anya, what do you think Merethyl would think to be referred to as a newbie?" he teased further.

"I think Merry would probably let you call her anything if you gave her cheesecake," Anya said in amusement, sharing her smile with Mags as the hobbit packed up the little box with cheesecake slices for later, as well as two cups of coffee to go.

"That is almost worth risking Irina's ire," Tony said with a grin, repeating, "Almost." Whether he was Irina's boss or not, he wasn't going to risk angering the woman. "I'll make it up to Merry later," he promised, secretly considering cheesecake for the whole company once their run of Pharaoh's Daughter was finished.

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Anya promised him, taking up their purchases. She handed Tony the box of cheesecake. "Elena, we will see you later, sestrenka."

"You definitely will," Elena agreed, kissing first Anya's cheek, then Tony's.

"Later, sorellina," Tony promised, kissing his sister in return, as Italians were wont to do. There was a joke among them that you had to start making the rounds of family an hour before you really wanted to leave because it took so long so say goodbye. Today it had only taken about ten minutes. "Grazie, bella," he blew Mags a kiss, tucking the box of cheesecake beneath an arm and taking Anya's hand on his way to the door.

"Ciao!" Elena called after them, the bell tinkling on the door as it pulled shut in their wake.

Anya laughed as they headed toward the theater, rolling her eyes. "It amazes me that any of you get anything done at all, working so close to one another."

"It's probably a good thing that we all have different vocations," Tony agreed. He was a dancer, Mataya an actress, Elena a restaurateur, and Teresa a very dedicated wife and mother.

"And that your mother has such control over you all," Anya added teasingly, glancing both ways before they crossed the road to enter the Shanachie's grounds.

"Do you think we should tell them?" he asked, abruptly. "About adopting, I mean," he clarified. There wasn't much he didn't share with his extended family, but this seemed very private - at least, until they had decided for sure and made their choice.

Anya considered this for a moment. "I think ....I think we should know more about it ourselves first, and perhaps ....perhaps we should wait until we have begun the process before we tell our families," she said thoughtfully. "I cannot predict how my parents will react to such news, but they cannot make life so very difficult if nothing they do or say will affect the outcome."

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:49 EST
"That makes sense," Tony said, in agreement as they strolled toward the Shanachie. "Tell me, Anya, do you miss dancing?" he asked, out of the blue.

She blinked, startled by the sudden turn of the conversation onto her. "We dance together every day, Tony," she reminded him. "I do, sometimes, miss performing with you. But I became a ballerina because I love to dance, not because I love the audience that watches me. I dance every day, whether someone watches me or not."

"Si, that is what I meant. We have to decide which ballets we want to present next year, and I was wondering if you have any ideas," he said, though there was more to it than that. She wasn't listed as a principal dancer anymore, but seeing as she was the director's wife, if she wanted a lead role, it was hers for the asking.

Anya chuckled softly, hearing the unspoken suggestion in his curious statement. "I should like to dance Ondine with you," she offered softly. "We have done it before, of course, but I think I am mature enough to bring the right attitude to her now."

"Ondine. We have not done that one in a few years," he murmured, thoughtfully, thinking it was probably about time to repeat that one, especially now that they had an almost entirely new company. "I have been considering the Flames of Paris for next year's schedule," he said, wondering what she'd think of that. It was a ballet that wasn't performed very often but originated with the Bolshoi.

Anya bit down a smile, remembering the chatter when that ballet had been just a thought in the choreographer's ambitions. She had been at the Bolshoi before the ballet was created, unable to resist letting her smile show. "Oh, I should like to have the opportunity to help put that on our stage," she agreed warmly.

Tony smirked. "I had a feeling you might like that one. Perhaps something for the children, too. Cinderella, perhaps?" he asked uncertainly. "Or Sleeping Beauty?" They'd done both in the past, but not recently.

"Perhaps it is time we trusted our own selves and put together that Red Riding Hood we have been working on for the past few years," Anya suggested mildly.

"Perhaps," Tony murmured, frowning, his uncertainty showing regarding that idea. It wasn't that he didn't think they could pull it off, but it would be a lot of work, and he wasn't too sure how well an original ballet would be received.

Seeing his uncertainty, Anya let it go. "Sleeping Beauty goes down well," she pointed out. "And you can get Alexei to play the witch. He would enjoy that."

Tony chuckled at her comment about Alexei. "He would, wouldn't he" I wonder what it would take to convince him to audition next year," he remarked, a little relieved that she wasn't pushing too hard for him to complete Red Riding Hood, even if he wouldn't say so.

"There are plenty of roles for the principals in Sleeping Beauty, as well," she pointed out. "The Jewels give a spotlight to three ballerinas, and that choreography can be made as complex as they would like it to be."

"That is true," he agreed. They only had to come up with a handful of ballets, as they did not put on as many performances as the theater or repertory groups. "And the spring gala, of course," he said, which possibly only left one more. But there was plenty of time yet to decide.

"Mataya, Ludo, and Jon will be working on next year's schedule in the next month or so," his wife pointed out, juggling the two cups in her hands to open the door to the theater. "As will you, no doubt."

He stepped around her to get the door, seeing as he had a free hand. "As will we," he corrected. "You are as much part of the ballet as I am," he told her. Even if he was technically the director, he'd been trying to get her more involved behind the scenes.

She smiled, murmuring a thank you as she passed through the door, pausing for him to catch up to her before heading for the stairs. "I do not wish to influence you unduly, milaya," she pointed out. "You have a distressing tendency to fold like the laundry when I express a forthright opinion."

Tony furrowed his brows at her, unsure what she meant by that. "I'm not sure what you mean," he confessed. Was this about Red Riding Hood or something else?

"Tony ....how often do you tell me no?" she asked gently, tilting her head toward him as they started up the stairs to the upper bar and beyond. "In all aspects of our life."

His brows furrowed deeper. He could not recall a time he had ever told her no. Was this a trick question' "I, uh ..." he stammered. "Not very often?" he guessed. If ever. "But I still don't understand."

"The ballet company is yours, milaya," she reminded him. "It was created by Mataya for you. It is run by you. If I take too large a role in assisting you, you may bow to my choices rather than asserting your own. I do not want that for you."

"But I do not wish the ballet to be mine, cara. I want it to be ours," he pointed out, though it was entirely up to her how much help she wanted to be, especially with the possibility of them expanding their little family.

"It is ours, Tony," she assured him. "But you do not need my voice on every matter. If we truly are to add to our family, you will have to grow used to having less of my influence at work for a time."

"I may not need it, but I appreciate your input," he pointed out further. He was not trying to argue the point but was merely telling her how he felt, though she probably knew that much already. "I know having another child will keep you busy," he admitted. "But I will still value your opinion."

"I know, milaya, but I would like to see you have confidence in your own thoughts," Anya told him as gently as she could. "It seems that everything must be run past me, and if I disagree, it is changed. That is not good."

"I have confidence," Tony countered - at least, in some things. He had confidence in his own abilities as a dancer, and he had confidence in Anya and Irina and the others he'd chosen to be part of the company. What was it he was lacking confidence about exactly' He'd never really had to make decisions like these before, until he'd agreed to become the director. It equally excited and terrified him both at times.

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:50 EST
"It is not worth arguing about," Anya said finally, giving up on trying to make him see her concern on this point. "Are we going to the office or straight to the practice rooms?"

"Anya," Tony countered, as gently as he could, coming to a halt on whatever floor they happened to be on and turning to face her. "Please, cara, I need to know what you mean. It will make me a better director," he pointed out, if not a better person.

She hesitated, but he had asked. "My darling, you have fallen into the habit of not making a decision without asking for my opinion," she told him. "Ever. And if my opinion differs from yours, you change your decision accordingly, every time. You need to stand by your decisions, if you have confidence in them, regardless of my opinion on the matter."

"Oh, I see," he replied, brows furrowing again thoughtfully. He thought about that a moment, realizing she was right, at least to a degree. "I did pick the cheesecake," he reminded her with a rueful smile.

"Yes, milaya, you did pick the cheesecake," she agreed, letting him have that one even if it didn't really count. "Now ....office, or straight to the practice rooms?"

"Are you hoping to force me to make a choice?" Tony asked, with an amused expression on his face. It wasn't so much that he couldn't make a decision, as it was that he valued her opinion.

Her face fell at his turn of phrase. "I never wish to force you to do anything," she said softly. "I am sorry, Tony. I will not mention it again."

Tony sighed, coming to a full halt where he stood. "Anya, I was teasing," he explained with an apologetic tone of voice and a worried frown on his face. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "It does not matter," she told him. "I feel I have somehow crossed a line in pushing this topic as far as I have. Words are not chosen at random, Tony. You should never feel forced into anything."

"Anya, I was teasing. I don't feel forced into doing anything," he said, wondering what it was that seemed to have upset her. Was it the talk of adoption' Did she think he was feeling forced into that' He wasn't.

She was quiet for a moment. "Irina is expecting us," she said finally. "I do not want to argue with you, Tony, and I do not want to linger on a topic of conversation that neither one of us is comfortable having. Are we going to the office, or are we going to the practice rooms?"

"If Irina is waiting on us, then I suppose we are going to the practice rooms," Tony replied, still not quite sure what it was they were arguing about exactly.

The look she gave him was definitely a warning. That wasn't a decision he had made there, it was bowing to what she had said before she'd reiterated the question she had asked him twice before already in this conversation. Anya was obviously feeling the strain of letting Sofia go for a few hours herself - she wasn't usually irritable.

Tony wondered if the office would have been a better choice, where they could have discussed whatever it was that was going on between them. "Come on," he said, sighing again, before taking hold of her hand and marching her toward the office. They needed to work this out or risk letting the entire company see that things were strained between them.

She opened her mouth to object, but went along as he tugged her toward the office, resigning herself to more awkward conversation in which she spoke as clearly as she thought she could and he still didn't understand what she was saying.

Hopefully, no one was there and they could talk in private. It was his office, after all, though Mataya might be lingering nearby. Once there, he pushed open the door and held it open for her, before following her inside.

Sighing, Anya set the coffees down on the desk, reluctantly turning to face her husband. "What, exactly, is unclear about what I have been saying?" she asked in tones of profound irritation. "We must talk in English, and clearly I am making mistakes that mean you do not understand what, to me, seems perfectly understandable."

He set the box of cheesecake on the desk, alongside the coffees, before looking up to meet her gaze. "You do not think I can make a decision without asking your opinion. Is that what you are saying?" he asked, needing to make sure he understood her completely.

"I think that you have stopped making decisions for yourself, Tony," Anya said firmly. "You used to. You never used to need my opinion to make a decision for the ballet company or for your own self and your well being. Now it seems as though you cannot make a decision without my opinion, and if my opinion is different to yours, then you change your opinion. I am not your mother, Tony. I should not feel as though every burden of our professional and personal lives is falling on my shoulders."

"I am trying to include you in the decisions I make for the ballet company, Anya, because I thought that is what you wanted. I thought you wanted to be part of it, or at least, I wanted you to be part of it. It is not all about me and what I want. And I value your opinion. As for changing my opinion because it is different from yours, I am not aware of doing that, and have you ever considered that perhaps it is because I have taken your opinion into consideration and decided you were right. I do still pick out my own clothes, Anya, and I am able to choose what I want to eat. I do not need you to make all my decisions for me," he pointed out, as patiently as he could, though his own irritation was starting to show. "What is really bothering you, Anya" I do not think it is so much about me as you say."

She turned away, shaking her head, muttering in Russian for a long moment as she tried to gather her thoughts together. "I did not know that you wanted me to be so involved with the company," she said eventually. "If I had known that, I would not have reacted so strongly. I don't think we are talking to each other very well any more, Tony. Or perhaps I am just frustrated and impatient, and I cannot express myself."

"Anya," Tony said, his voice gentling, reaching for her hand to draw her back to him. They had been through worse than this and he had to believe they'd survive this, too. Married couples had squabbles now and then, especially when they were feeling stressed about something. "You do not have to be involved in the company, but if you wish to, there is no one I trust more than you. We are partners, Anya. I thought we were partners in all things, but I understand if you would prefer not to be so involved with the company. After all, you have Sofia to worry about, and ..." He broke off, as a thought came to mind. "Is that what is upsetting you? That Sofia has started preschool?"

Anthony De Luca

Date: 2018-09-16 17:50 EST
She scowled mildly for a moment, and finally erupted with a certain amount of petulance. "I am used to cuddling and reading at this time of day," she complained, with just the faintest suggestion of tears. "She has already decided you are her favorite parent. Now she is away for the morning, my time with her is done."

"Oh, cara," Tony said, reaching for her to draw her into his arms. "I am not her favorite parent. She loves us both. And it's only for a few hours a day. I thought you wanted this so that she could spend time with other children her age," he said, in as soothing a voice as he could muster, his fingers stroking her back.

"I do," she protested, going into his arms with guilty reluctance. She hated admitting this about herself. "She needs to make friends, she needs to become more social than we can give her opportunity for at home. But she is her father's daughter. She does not truly seem to care if I am there or not."

"When she is not feeling well, it is always you she wants. It is you who reads to her and plays with her and cuddles her when I am not there. It's only that she misses me that makes it seem she prefers me. Do you know she asks for you when you're not there, too' She asks when her Mama will be home and her whole face lights up when she sees you. Do you truly not notice this?" he asked, touching her chin to gently lift her face to meet his gaze.

"I do not see it," she said quietly. "It is frustrating. She gets angry with me because I am not you. I do not think I am a very good mama. Perhaps I should not push for more children at all."

"Nonsense. You are an amazing woman, Anya, and a wonderful mother. You do not give yourself enough credit. Sofia is only a child. She does not understand how she upsets you. There will come a time when she will prefer you over me. Besides, I have heard that children tend to act out for the parent they are most comfortable with. Perhaps you should take it as a compliment," he said, gently tapping a finger against her nose.

"I cannot be so very amazing if I cannot even tell you that our three year old daughter makes me feel inadequate," she pointed out, but there was a small smile playing about her lips as she spoke.

"She's a three year old child, Sofia. And perhaps just a little bit spoiled," he added with a rueful smile of his own. "You are not inadequate, believe me. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I love you, and Sofia loves you, and I'm sorry if I've been less than decisive lately," he added with a small apologetic shrug. "I only want you to be happy, cara mia. That is all I want."

"I am happy," she promised, hugging her arms about his waist. "And I am sorry, too. I should not have taken out my temper on you. It was very unfair."

"So, it was a good decision to come to the office then?" he said, unable to resist the temptation to tease her just a little, if only to make her smile again. He wrapped her in his embrace, dropping a kiss against the top of her head and inhaling the scent that could only belong to his Anya. "Ti amo, Anya. More than you can ever know," he reminded her quietly.

She laughed softly, cuddling into him as he hugged and kissed her. "I love you too, my Tony," she promised. "I am sorry. I will try not to be a child about this." She tilted her head back, rising onto her toes to kiss his chin affectionately.

"You are not being a child, Anya. We have both been busy with auditions and ballet and planning for the new season. And then, there is Sofia. Perhaps what we need is a vacation. We are a family first, dancers second," he said.

That was strange coming from him, who had always been put the ballet first, but now that he was a husband and father, he had other more important priorities.

"I am being a child," she argued in amusement. "Sofia is more grown up about time apart from us than I am being, after all." She squeezed him gently. "I think you may be right, though. Even just a few days away without worrying about being anything but us would help, I think."

"We will do that, then. As soon as the current ballet is done. We will go away for a few days and just be a family. Will that make you happy, cara?" he asked, her, touching his forehead to hers, a warm smile on his face.

"I am always happy with you, milaya," she reminded him. "I am just bad at expressing myself. But I should like that, very much. And we will not make any decisions until we have had some time just as a family, just us. Da?"

"Da," he replied in answer, echoing her in her own language. "That is a very good idea. Now, shall we go share the cheesecake with Irina or keep it for ourselves?" he asked, not because he was unable to decide for himself, but because he was amused by the idea of keeping the cheesecake for themselves.

"Perhaps we should drop the third slice in to Mataya, and pay for Irina to take Humphrey on a date instead," Anya suggested impishly.

Tony chuckled at that idea. "Irina hardly needs us to pay for them to go on a date," he pointed out. After all, he paid Irina a pretty generous salary. "But we will never hear the end of it if Mataya finds out we had cheesecake and didn't offer her any," he added with a grin, just before he chose that moment to kiss her.

"Especially Elena's cheeseca-mm ..." Anya grinned into the kiss Tony pressed to her lips, softening her hand against his jaw as she rose into the affectionate gesture briefly. Drawing back, she offered him a somewhat impish grin. "Lock the door, milaya."

He did not hide how much he was enjoying that kiss. She was his Anya, after all, and he had never loved anyone the way he loved her. He arched a dark brow at her direction, his smile matching hers. Whatever it was she had planned, he knew it was not to be shared with any eavesdroppers. "Si, signora," he said agreeably, breaking away from her just long enough to lock the door. If he had a Do Not Disturb sign, he would have hung it outside, but the locked door would have to do. "Now, where were we?" he said, as he returned, pulling her back into his arms once again. He didn't enjoy arguing with Anya, but making up afterwards was almost worth it.

Maybe there was a case for arguing more often. But then again ....since when had they ever needed an excuse for this? Whatever the case, one could be sure by the time they unlocked the door, all would be right with the world again, as far as Tony and Anya were concerned.