Cumbersome http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GzXdtripJHE/Skff0ttO50I/AAAAAAAADbE/uteuRczOCDQ/s400/MJ-3333-michael-jackson-6863366-1024-768.jpg

There is a balance between two worlds One with an arrow and a cross Regardless of the balance life has become Cumbersome...

I have become Cumbersome, to this world. ~ Seven Mary Three

Night after night he was jilted, left in a sense, at the altar. Kruger knew it was all make believe, knew that George was just a character in a play. Still he couldn't help but sympathize with the man. Strange as it was though, he didn't agree with George. No George had gone about the situation all wrong, he should have trusted through love instead of jump to conclusions. Kruger would not have done so, and deep inside he would believe that had anything happened it would be his fault. Still he had one of the lead roles in this and for that he was quite happy. He laughed and joked his way through the after parties, like a good Anvil should. He played up the stars of the show, they really had done a fantastic job and he only hoped that the audience found him to be as believable.

He lingered though, waiting until the lights were all out and the people all gone. Kruger listened to the empty theater remembering the lights and applause. It wasn't him, exactly despite how good at it he was. That wasn't him, just like the guy performing in arenas for audiences that bordered on a hundred thousand. That was The Anvil, and he was really good. He was a place Kruger would go and hide away, nothing could faze that man. No crowd was too large or small, no situation too outrageous. It was he who had been taking the stage each evening and loving the attention. Kruger wasn't quite the same, he walked downstage and sat on the edge, his feet hanging into the orchestra pit.

The building's noises almost made the place seem alive to him. It was becoming more obvious to him every night that this was indeed the case. He was more sure now than he was the night he'd performed his one man version of Apollo for no one but the house itself. Kruger's fingers shook, the nerves that he'd denied all through the show and the parties after coming to a head while he sat alone.

"It's stupid, I shouldn't be afraid now. Stage fright is supposed to come before the performance. This thing that happens to me after doesn't make any sense to me." He'd worked on his own too long to worry about talking to himself. Sometimes the solitary soul needs to hear a voice in his ears. He didn't see the approach of the dark clad woman. He hadn't heard her footsteps either but she was there sitting a dozen feet away from him and pretending not to listen to him. Kruger didn't mind the listener any.

"It really is foolish, and it doesn't just happen here, yah know?" He was looking across at her now. He didn't recognize her from the show at all, or the parties for that matter. It was late to be here for audience members and even patrons. "I'm Kruger by the way, what?s your name?"

"Hortense, but please go on." It must have been a trick of the darkness because Kruger couldn't see the woman's mouth move. He shrugged it off as nothing, putting his hands behind his head and laying back. Kruger looked to the darkness of the catwalk and let a small smile appear on his face. "Well, it doesn't just happen here. After a fight I am the same way, shaky and worried. I do put everything into these things I do, but it never feels like enough. Tonight was a little different, I could see the kid in the fourth row. He was in an aisle seat over there on the left." Kruger pointed towards the seat in question before sitting up and hopping down into the orchestra pit.

He continued to talk, raising his voice so Hortense could hear him. He climbed out the backside of the pit not bothering with stairs, it wasn't that high after all. He'd climbed much higher for some of his fights. Hortense's eyes were still on him, as though judging his current performance. Kruger walked to the fourth seat and knelt sidelong to the stage. He looked back at Hortense and smiled. "There was an expression on his face the moment that he realized who I was. I've seen it before on kids, it's always fun to see, yah know?"

Kruger put his hands on the arm of the chair and used it to push himself back to his feet. He started back towards the woman who was still ever so silent. "It was a look that was asking when the power slam would come out. I think he was disappointed it didn't." Instead of climbing the stage, Kruger went to the stairs and went up them one by one. "If he was disappointed then, what would he be now" To see me this way afraid of what will be said, how I'll be perceived. I am though, as much as I will play it off and make light of it. I'd almost prefer to be afraid at the beginning, have it over and just bask in how well the performance went."

Kruger moved down stage once more sitting as before only closer to the woman in the dark dress. "Some fearless actor I turned out to be eh' I just want everything to be perfect and I know that I can't make that happen. When I leave here, reality comes crashing in heavier than any Krater I have ever given. When I leave here I'll be on my own, alone and wishing that I could still walk in that spotlight. I'll be wishing that I could live there with all eyes on me and never need to be? just me."

The air was cooler near Hortense. Kruger noticed it but figured it was just some kind of odd draft that occurred in the large building. He turned his head to the woman gave her a wan sort of smile and sighed. "You're very kind for listening, and not judging. I'm not quite ready to go yet, I still need to think some I guess. You needn't sit and wait if you have ought you need to do."

Kruger's feet were dangling again, his attention was on his boots. He didn't know exactly how long he'd sat there, nor did he see or hear when Hortense had gotten up and left. He'd felt a bone chilling cold in his shoulder at one point, and raised his hand to the spot. It too was immediately cold but the friction of his hand rubbing the place warmed both quickly. It was well past two in the morning when Kruger found the strength to rise and leave through the alleyway door. Had she used this door or another" He just couldn't remember.