Rosa had only just grown passed the point of screaming herself awake, which begun during her first night at the Sanctuary some moons ago where she spent it in the same bed with the woman she had come to call her mentor" even if she wanted nothing more than to call her by her true title.
Mother.
Rosa did not want to wake Isuelt up, not only because she did not want to look like a fightened little child in front of a woman who in Rosa's eyes was brave and strong, but to also prevent her from discovering the true depths of the psychological damage caused by being a direct blood relative to an Egorwrath"
And what it truly meant to live as one"
A terrible curse.
To possess an inherent madness that plagued her night and day in the guise of a predator that wore her face and lurked under her skin; clawing to get out with its wide and blood-soaked grin " begging for the beautiful carnage that could be deliciously wrought upon all who were deemed weak.
And worthless"
And tasty.
So, instead of screaming herself awake like she used to do when she slept alone in the Rosa Gigantea, Rosa opted to bite on her tongue and clamp her mouth shut until she tasted blood. Only when did her fears subsided did she drift back into a slumber, soothed only by the gentle breathing and the warmth of a parent being so close by.
The dreams were becoming more and more frightening and; she loathed to admit it, lucid. At times she could not compare from what was real to what was fake even when she found herself in the confines of her brand new bedroom within the Scathachian Sanctuary, gazing up at the ceiling with tear stained terrified eyes as she clenched the thin bed sheet protectively close to her trembling lips...
Vainly hoping its thin material would save her from herself.
However, on this particular night, even though Rosa had met with and got along well the beautiful Janie on her first evening at the Sanctuary (who cooked quite the delicious meal at that,) Rosa quietly hoped as she crept out of her room that no other would be around to witness her distraught, pale features.
She was positive Isuelt had informed the other sisters of their newest recruit and of her origins, so she half suspected a guard or someone to be close by to her bedroom and fortunately for her, there was not.
Either it was too late for any one to be awake or she just got lucky and missed them.
Rosa was also unsure on another matter. One that caused her to frown whenever she thought of it"
She wondered if they knew the entire truth of the matter.
She wondered if they knew Isuelt was indeed her mother.
With this in mind, surprisingly, she found herself quite good at sneaking around without making a sound, stealthily padding through halls of the Sanctuary barefooted with her nightgown flowing about her small frame with long brown locks of hair matching its movements, casually observing the architecture and marveling at every little detail until she found herself on one of the opened corridors that opened up onto a small garden.
The fear of her night-terror quickly diminished at the sight of various fauna and flora " some of which she recognized off the bat and many she did not. Intrigued, Rosa found herself stepping into the garden, carefully yet effortlessly avoiding plants or flowers she could had accidentally crushed underfoot, her lips curling into a wide beaming smile as she stood amongst the moonlit square of colours and textures, gently running fingertips across the petals and leaves of each and every plant.
Being present among the greenery calmed her nerves greatly, thankful that she had found this little gem not too far from her room.
Maybe this could be her sanctuary, within this Sanctuary"
When the nightmares come and she could not take them anymore, maybe she could come here and simply lose herself to what made her most happy.
Drawing sparkling icy eyes down to the soil, she blinked and frowned as she spotted a rather annoying, rather petulant little weed peeping its leaves above the soil.
Rosa frowned. "Alright you," she spoke with a glare as she eyed the offender, her fingers curling about the stem, "you don't exactly belong here, do you?"
At her own words, Rosa felt her heart sink.
Maybe the weed wasn't the only thing that did not belong here.
Even if she longed to emulate being a Scathachian....could she ever truly be accepted as one"
Doubt crossed her features as she yanked the weed from the ground, inspecting its long, white, furry roots that once threatened to hungrily consume all the nutrients and moisture from the other plants surrounding it.
Rosa's sad expression only deepened as her mind compared herself, with the weed she had just mercilessly crushed in her hand.
"...I can't keep secrets. Keeping secrets is what Father would do' I have to be honest with myself and" and Mother. But how do I say it' I" I don't want her to look at me in a bad way' I'm not a bad person. I'm not like the others....not that much..."
Who was she trying to convince" herself?
Rosa did not quite know, but she silenced such thoughts and went about hunting for more weeds hiding among the plants, humming a random tune of no particular origin as she did so.
"I'm so hungry..." She groaned.
Mother.
Rosa did not want to wake Isuelt up, not only because she did not want to look like a fightened little child in front of a woman who in Rosa's eyes was brave and strong, but to also prevent her from discovering the true depths of the psychological damage caused by being a direct blood relative to an Egorwrath"
And what it truly meant to live as one"
A terrible curse.
To possess an inherent madness that plagued her night and day in the guise of a predator that wore her face and lurked under her skin; clawing to get out with its wide and blood-soaked grin " begging for the beautiful carnage that could be deliciously wrought upon all who were deemed weak.
And worthless"
And tasty.
So, instead of screaming herself awake like she used to do when she slept alone in the Rosa Gigantea, Rosa opted to bite on her tongue and clamp her mouth shut until she tasted blood. Only when did her fears subsided did she drift back into a slumber, soothed only by the gentle breathing and the warmth of a parent being so close by.
The dreams were becoming more and more frightening and; she loathed to admit it, lucid. At times she could not compare from what was real to what was fake even when she found herself in the confines of her brand new bedroom within the Scathachian Sanctuary, gazing up at the ceiling with tear stained terrified eyes as she clenched the thin bed sheet protectively close to her trembling lips...
Vainly hoping its thin material would save her from herself.
However, on this particular night, even though Rosa had met with and got along well the beautiful Janie on her first evening at the Sanctuary (who cooked quite the delicious meal at that,) Rosa quietly hoped as she crept out of her room that no other would be around to witness her distraught, pale features.
She was positive Isuelt had informed the other sisters of their newest recruit and of her origins, so she half suspected a guard or someone to be close by to her bedroom and fortunately for her, there was not.
Either it was too late for any one to be awake or she just got lucky and missed them.
Rosa was also unsure on another matter. One that caused her to frown whenever she thought of it"
She wondered if they knew the entire truth of the matter.
She wondered if they knew Isuelt was indeed her mother.
With this in mind, surprisingly, she found herself quite good at sneaking around without making a sound, stealthily padding through halls of the Sanctuary barefooted with her nightgown flowing about her small frame with long brown locks of hair matching its movements, casually observing the architecture and marveling at every little detail until she found herself on one of the opened corridors that opened up onto a small garden.
The fear of her night-terror quickly diminished at the sight of various fauna and flora " some of which she recognized off the bat and many she did not. Intrigued, Rosa found herself stepping into the garden, carefully yet effortlessly avoiding plants or flowers she could had accidentally crushed underfoot, her lips curling into a wide beaming smile as she stood amongst the moonlit square of colours and textures, gently running fingertips across the petals and leaves of each and every plant.
Being present among the greenery calmed her nerves greatly, thankful that she had found this little gem not too far from her room.
Maybe this could be her sanctuary, within this Sanctuary"
When the nightmares come and she could not take them anymore, maybe she could come here and simply lose herself to what made her most happy.
Drawing sparkling icy eyes down to the soil, she blinked and frowned as she spotted a rather annoying, rather petulant little weed peeping its leaves above the soil.
Rosa frowned. "Alright you," she spoke with a glare as she eyed the offender, her fingers curling about the stem, "you don't exactly belong here, do you?"
At her own words, Rosa felt her heart sink.
Maybe the weed wasn't the only thing that did not belong here.
Even if she longed to emulate being a Scathachian....could she ever truly be accepted as one"
Doubt crossed her features as she yanked the weed from the ground, inspecting its long, white, furry roots that once threatened to hungrily consume all the nutrients and moisture from the other plants surrounding it.
Rosa's sad expression only deepened as her mind compared herself, with the weed she had just mercilessly crushed in her hand.
"...I can't keep secrets. Keeping secrets is what Father would do' I have to be honest with myself and" and Mother. But how do I say it' I" I don't want her to look at me in a bad way' I'm not a bad person. I'm not like the others....not that much..."
Who was she trying to convince" herself?
Rosa did not quite know, but she silenced such thoughts and went about hunting for more weeds hiding among the plants, humming a random tune of no particular origin as she did so.
"I'm so hungry..." She groaned.