Topic: Demon Therapy

Perceval Tucker

Date: 2016-07-04 14:40 EST
Tucker winced as the gruesome sound of battlefield cries for mercy pierced the silence. The audible violation was sudden but it was gone as quickly as it came. He kept his eyes closed, concentrating; forcing the calm upon himself.

Again. Another cry, but this time from a woman. A sudden burst of whaling and a disturbing image of her kneeling over a charred body, too small to be an adult. Her hands hovered and shook violently with her palms just inches over the ashen corpse as she howled. The body was too hot to touch and yet she wanted to hold the remains close to her. Again, the image and sounds were gone.

He shifted and took a moment to wipe the sweat from his palms onto his pants. He refocused; smelling the air and listening to his surroundings; the ambient calm of nature. A drop of sweat fell from the tip of his nose. He breathed deeply and tried to clear his mind, tuning in to the sound of his exhaled air.

This time an explosion. Tucker flinched as the blast struck him in the chest. He beheld a city in ruin. Thick black smoke that drowned out the sun. Rubble and debris scattered across the area as if an angry giant had demolished a castle with its bare hands. Thick wooden beams, charred and smoking, jutted from the piles in all sorts of irregular directions. Blood and limbs littered the scene. Everything was on fire. Everything was dead. There was no semblance of what had been. Tucker gasped aloud as his eyes shot open. He held his breath for an instant as he struggled to grasp the reality of where he was.

The reflecting pool was crystal clear. It spanned across most of the courtyard for almost 90 meters. Its outer rim was adorned with an impeccably manicured hedge and beyond that, a walking path along the pool's entire circumference. Marble statues of pure white occupied many places in the courtyard. All females, frozen in time, displaying scenes of prowess, strength and beauty. Beyond the paths and statues were covered walkways and serene architecture. Each passage was lined with marble Grecian columns, white as snow. There was a beautiful symmetry and order about them as they effortlessly stood, steadfastly supporting their structures and temples. Each and every pantheon was adorned with deep orange, terracotta tile crowns.

He was kneeling on the marble rim of the pool in an attempt to meditate. Looking down, he found his hands clenched tight against his thighs. Beyond that, he saw his reflection in the pool looking back at him. His brow was still furrowed. The lines in his forehead between his eyebrows were distinct and hardened, creating a channel for the sweat on his forehead to travel to his nose. Tucker reached up and kneaded the creases in his flesh between his brows. They never went away; those lines formed by enduring anguish and sorrow. They may never go away. Maybe this time though, he thought' He slowly removed his fingers from his forehead and looked into the pond. They remained. He's been at this for almost a year now, living in this Sanctuary, and the damage to his soul and spirit still lingered.

Perceval reached toward his image in the pool and swatted the water. His reflection shattered in a thousand ripples. It felt satisfying, albeit a temporary and inappropriate release. He looked up to find that he wasn't alone. Several women, some individually and some together, sat along the rim of the pool just like him, gazing into its serenity, until it was disturbed, that is, by the ripples he had created; the turbulence and unrest he had caused. Tucker stood, embarrassed, and gave them all a nod of apology with pursed lips. The women simply looked at him impassively and went back about their meditation. He collected his shirt from the ground and made his way to his living quarters.

Perceval Tucker

Date: 2016-07-17 10:38 EST
"Eva,"

He wrote the name on the paper and paused, leaning back in his chair as he stared at the letters. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many emotions that he wanted to convey, but he had no idea how to start or how to get them all out. So much time had passed since the days when Eva was prominently in his life. Tucker took a moment to focus on all of the memories and feelings about her and allowed himself to go there one more time. He breathed in deeply and smiled as the thoughts of her washed over him again and put pen to paper once more"

"I miss you. I miss your face and your smile and your laugh. I miss touching your hand. I miss your insight. I can't express thoroughly enough the warm feelings that consume my soul when I think of you. When I was with you, I could move mountains. When I was with you, nothing else mattered. All that mattered was being with you."

Tucker paused as he watched a drop of wax snake its way down the candle on his desk.

"These feelings are, however, bittersweet. I'm sorry I couldn't be the person I felt you needed me to be. I'm sorry I couldn't give you all the things that I felt you needed. I miss you. My chest swells when I think of you and yet, all of those emotions become sucked into the hole that was left behind when I lost you. I'm sorry that I never felt worthwhile enough to have someone as amazing as you in my life. I want you to be happy; that's all. That's all I cared about and I couldn't imagine that you would ever be happy with me. I know that is presumptuous to say, but I know "me". I know the person I am and that person is undeserving"at least that's how I felt."

Setting the pen down, Tucker leaned back in his chair as he pondered the words he just wrote. He knew it was a mistake to have let her go as foolishly as he did. Eva was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time and he knew that she could have been what he needed in his life to make him whole, if not somewhat, again. He needed to write this letter to her. He needed to flesh out these feelings.

"I don't expect that you will ever change your mind about me"to choose to have me back in your life as I was. I concede that you have moved on and you have married a great man who will give you all of the things that I wanted to give you and be the partner that you deserve. I just wish I was him. I wish I was that man. The man who gets the privilege of waking up next to you every morning. The man who can reach out and touch your face whenever he chooses. The man who can look at you and know that you are his and he is yours without doubt. The man who can confidently say the words "I love you? and never need to hear them back from you because he knows the truth that does not need to be spoken.

I know I am not that man, but I can't help but to wish it whenever I think of you.

Thank you for giving me at least a brief taste of what life could be for me."

Tucker set the pen down on the desk and paused, staring across the small room that has been his living quarters for the past year. He didn't read the letter over, but instead, carefully folded it up and slipped it into an envelope. Turning it over, he wrote her name in large letters on the face, "EVA? and took the candle from its base, tilting it and allowing the wax to drip onto the envelope's closure, sealing it. He then stood and confidently moved through the door of his room and down the torch-lit corridor toward one of the main courtyards of the Sanctuary. The marble floor was cool on his bare feet and the night air was refreshing as he breathed it in. Tucker took a moment to take in the visage of the star filled sky and stopped near one of the many ornate wrought iron fire pits that were stationed throughout the Sanctuary. He looked down at the letter in his hand. It felt good to have written it; to have put the words on paper and have made them real in a sense. He knew what he had written would not by any means completely cleanse his soul of the aching feeling he had for Eva. He simply hoped that it would give him some relief.

Stretching out his arm, he dropped the letter into the fire.

Perceval Tucker

Date: 2016-07-23 19:04 EST
Tucker stolled slowly through the Marketplace, hands clasped behind his back mostly observing more than shopping. He enjoyed the life of the Market; that is the hustle and bustle of vendors peddling their wares, calling out dramatically colorful explanations of one-of-a-kind items they had for sale. The city folk rushing here and there, gathering and buying things they felt they needed and most amusingly, street kids who skillfully stole pieces of fruit or candies from vendor's carts. Eventually, Tucker found himself wandering down a side street where the seller's tents and booths leaned more toward entertainment and performance arts. Jugglers, snake charmers and even a few beginner magicians did their best to attract the attention of passing citizens. Some were amusing and others, not so much, but one particular tent did catch his attention.

Sitting behind a small table draped with a velvet blue cloth sat an old Asian woman with not so much as a smile, but more like a sneer, perpetually affixed to her deeply wrinkled face. She did nothing to attract the attention of potential clients, but simply sat, smoking from a long pipe. The smoke trailed around her and hung, as if it would linger forever. Tucker locked eyes with her; generally something he didn't do with the street vendors since it usually meant he would feel obliged to acknowledge them and show some sort of feigned interest in their wares. But with this woman, he couldn't help it. He stared. She stared back. He was about to move along when she spoke.

"Seet dow" she said in a gravely, thick Asian accent.

"No thank..."

"Seet. Down" she interrupted more clearly, enunciating her words as if he were a foreigner.

Tucker looked begrudgingly at the empty chair at her table.

"No be scare. Seet dow"

He stifled an audible groan and took a seat across from her.

"Show han." she croaked, motioning with her eyes to the center of the table.

Tucker sighed deep and set his hand on the table as she requested.

"See palm" she said, with a bit of contempt in her voice and they slightest of an eye roll.

Tucker turned over his hand, exposing his palm to her. The woman glanced only for a second at his palm and spoke again with annoyance.

"You palm empty." and then nodded in the direction of a sign with a 'suggested' donation amount.

Tucker straightened, about ready to stand and leave but at this point, he was too far in to turn back now. Besides, what had he spent his money on in the past year or so with the exception of booze. Tucker begrudgingly reached into his pocket and set his hand back on the table, opening his fingers. He added a bit of flair by slowly opening them one by one. He smirked. She sneered. His smirk went away.

The woman took the coin from his hand and dropped it into a pocket in her cloak. She then leaned back, closed her eyes and took a long toke from her pipe. She allowed the smoke to roll and billow from her nose and mouth as she leaned back in, her eyes hovering over Tucker's open palm. Expecting an overtly dramatic tale of fortune and wealth, Tucker was deflated when the woman looked up at him with the results of her reading.

"You stupid"

"Wha~...?"

"You a stupid man. You have old soul but you think like child."

Tucker blinked, "I don't un~..."

"Yes you undastan, stupid. You know 'zactly what I say. You geev everybody advice from you heart but you too stupid to follow it you-self" These words were spat at him as if he disgusted her.

"Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-Ro!"...as she waved a hand at him, stood and disappeared into the tent behind her.

Tucker sat still for a long moment, his eyes darting about, trying to decide if she was coming back, or if he was supposed to leave.

His walk home was filled with much self-reflection.