Topic: Dusk's Walls

Adhamiel

Date: 2008-10-06 18:37 EST
Wherein the ramblings of Adhamiel find their focus.

Adhamiel

Date: 2008-10-06 18:44 EST
Drifting. Silence of the form, the mind, the being, the self. I am. Nothing has no weight. It has no feel. It has no taste, no sound. Nothing simply is. Black eyes open, but all that they see is Nothing. He (it") stirs, but there is no resistance to motion; Nothing touches it (him").

Nothing has no energy to drink. All matter is energy. All light is energy. All sound, all taste, all feel, are energy. Nothing came before the single polluting flaw of Energy became aware that it was, and propagated itself. Nothing has no sentience, to desire the abolition of Energy. Time has no grasp on Nothing. It IS. It can be ignored, but not even Nothing can destroy Nothing.

Balance exists only in the concept of the First Flaw. Should Energy burn itself out, then there will be Nothing. It is, of course, eventually inevitable. But the first concept of the First Flaw being survive, it does. Balance. Balance is a peculiar concept. Good" Evil" Kind" Cruel" They are abstracts. They are simple expressions of the use of Energy. Angelic" Demonic" They are one and the same, merely alterations on a single theme.

He (it") reaches, unfolding outward through Nothing, spread gossamer thin. The distance is Nothing, it is merely the perception which requires the effort. It (he") touches Something. The Energy of information shudders the essence of Self. Can Nothing and Something occupy the same space? Yes. In the nothing that is him (it.) rests the equation of Energy that forms a single feather. Without the equation of light, there is no equation for color. It (he.) absorbs that wisp of Energy, and remembers.

Adhamiel

Date: 2008-10-06 18:49 EST
Light. Light shattering through a new mind, permeating the Self with pure radiance. No concept of Body, only of Being. It stretches, exploring the concept of Self, and reflexively drinks down the Energy that its Being requires, naturally cancels Light into Nothing, fueling Self with the wisps of Energy unneeded by the cancellation.

Too new to support the concept of Destruction, too innocent to complete the cancellation beyond the immediate necessity of maintaining Self at its peak. Tattered Light recoils, and lashes out against its new Self, rejecting the creation, rejecting the Being uncompleted.

Without name, without comprehension of purpose. Self does not cease to be. In rejection, the lash of Energy fuels existence. Balance. Naturally, it gravitates toward the greatest source of Energy immediately available.

It drifts, aware of Self without awareness that there is any significance to that concept, within time without knowing what time is. It touches Energy, and negates it, the overflow of its capacity to neutralize fueling the Being. Light, sound, matter. Energy touches it, a lash of knowledge to scar pristine sentience. External awareness is created. For the first time, it sees, and for the first time, it wonders. I" Me" Who?

Knowledge implanted into sentient emptiness. It drifts within the Nothing that lies within the Something that is a Flaw. Comprehension. I am me. I am flawed by the measure of that which made me. That which is I has been rejected, and so I am my own.

Adhamiel

Date: 2008-10-06 18:52 EST
The form is already determined, by the simple measure of commonality and stereotype. Pale skin, black hair, black feathers to drink the light. A form not yet matured, to be altered and develop with experience. The eyes and gender were not a conscious choice, but a reflexive one. Battered by the impression of knowledge on virgin sentience, wondering in the concept of learning, it (he.) chooses a where.

Sensation is a peculiar thing. To the newborn babe, there is already a connection between sensation and translation. To the newly formed flesh, there is no such connection. The ground is cold, and gritty against bare skin. It was felt, without being understood. Virgin eyes open, to stare into darkness they had not been designed to penetrate, at the blindingly glorious brilliance of a luminous square. The shock of sudden immersion in Energy, of sensations he (it.) hasn't the instincts to comprehend, tears a birthing cry from its (his.) throat. The concept of sound, and of hearing, shocks him (it.) silent again.

Knowledge explodes across his awareness, impressed into Sentience and triggered by experience. Language reels him, gender barely impinges on his notice. He is a he. It is an unimportant facet of the Being. Crouched upon the icy dirt he trembles, sorting and storing the excess of knowledge, still staring at the square of light he does not yet understand is a window. The silhouette of a head and shoulders appear, sound pounding at him in a scratchy, tired old voice, though the Energy form can't see him in the darkness without.

Words pummel him, as the old man speaks. The shutters slam shut, leaving him without the spilt light, and he wonders. Sorting them carefully, he fits concept to sound. From the careless words of an old man is born a name. A first, if not correct name.

Adhamiel

Date: 2008-10-06 18:55 EST
Drifting. Nothing surrounds him, and he (not it.) reaches, to touch Something, and drink of it. Energy channels through him, flowing into his Self in a heady rush even as the greater part of it is negated. The balance is tipped with a touch he has forcibly learned to keep delicate, and he surrounds himself with a specific Something.

Fragments coalesce, melding back into the whole. A dark line on skin is erased without conscious thought. Black eyes close on Nothing, and open upon Here. Sound stone weighs heavily on him, the pressure of solid walls, a sturdy roof, polished stone floors. He sits cross-legged in the doorway beneath a circular window of stained glass, the unfurnished chapel behind him awash in gloriously colored light. Inches from his knees, cold earth lies bare and gritty, the morning frost still clinging even as the sun works to soften it with thawing. Leaves rustle around the walls, some vines having shed their foliage, others that would keep them through the winter. Dusk draws a deep breath, and lives.

Tilting his head back, he closes black eyes that once again have whites, and drinks Energy. Light bends, heat sucks into skin washed abruptly to the black, not of color, but of the simple absence of reflected light. For a span of moments, Nothing sits in Dusk's chapel. Satisfied, he unfolds himself, rising. Coffee skin reflects warm tones in the sunlight as he wanders through the tiny, weed-strewn garden, touching here and there a lingering flower or seed pod. A concept drifts slowly to the surface of a tranquil mind, and he pauses, wondering.

Today is the anniversary of his comprehension of the meaning of Self. His....'birth' day.