Topic: Go, Go, Goblin Reaper!

Goblin King

Date: 2017-04-06 21:24 EST
Go to this address, your task is to kill the man. Bring me his tongue.

Just the tongue " Not testicles again?

No, that's all right. I don't need to start a collection.

I can start one for you, keep it on your altars"

Go!

Wizards. Why did it have to be wizards" Fiddlewart's tower lay in the northern territories of Rhydin. One step removed from being a crumbling ruin, an aura of malcontent resonates from the tall structure. The front door was as to be expected. Thick, sturdy, and magically reinforced against unwanted entry. If there were any windows, they were either magically hidden or covered over. Which made sense to the goblin. If he had a tower, he wouldnt want a lot of windows. Be a nightmare to replace all the time. Birds flying into them, wayward adventurers trying to break in and steal his things"

Stupid adventurers. They never understand the work that goes into getting a decent collection. Just waltz into the cave and act all surprised that something is trying to kill them. For Fathmouth, that became a joy. Find out the names of adventure bands, learn where the members lived, and return the favor in the dead of night. Just break in, attack them, and steal their illgotten gains.

The Art of Reverse-Raiding. He liked to call it.

Focus dunderhead! Fatmouth reminds himself with a slap to his large cranium. Halfway up the side of the tower, he'd stopped to eat a horse heart. Walking up the stony fascade was hard work! At least a hundred meters

He clicks his boots together to activate the Spider-Walk enchantment so he can stand on the side of the tower in order to put away the pillow case and unmovable rods he'd used to make a deer blind out of.

Looking up, he estimates another hundred meters to the roof of the tower. He knows this won't be easy. A goblin against a wizard" Wait till he gets a load of me! Fatmouth thinks to himself and continues on his way.

"I wanna be the very best. Like no goblin ever was.

To hunt them is my test, to eat them is my cause.

I've traveled across this land, slaughtering far and wide.

Each adventurer to understand, whats on their insides!

Stupid humans, gotta kill them all. It's up to me. I know it's my destiny?"