Topic: The Devil's Idle Hand

Moreandor · Date: 2016-04-11 23:36 EST

The boss wants ta send me ta a podunk lil" burg up there ta check on some people, a coupla girls he knows. I'm okay with it. It's my job after all and he's th' boss. He pats me on th' arm and says somethin" like "Moreandor, you secure those assets and make sure they are taken care of." It's a security job, then. If he meant me ta kill 'em, he woulda said, "...and do that voodoo you do so well." He uses crap lines like that all the time and each one has cues in 'em when ya know where ta look. I'm not a moron, I get a lot of the subtleties of th' boss' words.

No big prob. Make sure th' girls are okay and keep them that way. He coulda jus' said so in th' first place.

He does his hoodun without any fanfare an' sends me topside ta take care of his business. I normally fade out when he's usin" his big words. Not that I don't understand them or nothin" an' I respect him somethin' awful seein' as he made me exist an' all. I just don't need ta know anything other than my task. It's lots easier when it's done that way. This job is security. I've done security before. 'Sone of my specialties.

I move on up ta th' material realm.

Cobblestones, I friggin" hate cobblestones. For every engineer or friggin" artist who designed cobblestone streets, they should plan one more street and then be disemboweled. Hell on my feet, chippin" my talons and stubbin" my toes all th' way ta my destination.

A place called Shadowdown.

Moreandor · Date: 2016-05-28 01:00 EST

So's once I get to th' place and get all settled like, Shadowdown ain't so bad. One of the cushier jobs I've had, sincerely. I got a desk an' a chair in th' lobby so's I can do my security thing. All th' food I can hunt an' kill plus the fridge is fulla leftovers. Not a bad way ta make a livin'. Not sure what goes on sometimes, clients come in an' I direct them ta th' person what can help them th' most. I got me a cheat sheet of who's specialty is what. Can't keep track of them all.

I moonlight at Lyl's place, playin' bouncer an' th' girls rely on an' trust me ta keep th' riff-raff out. Lyl runs a high class place, not some seedy dive. Th' girls are top notch an' top dollar. An' I make sure they stay that way.

Like the other night, some lordy lord pleeb comes in an' starts bein'...overly forward, fer lack of better words...to one of th' girls. I give him a warning, since I don't know if he's a regular an' perish th' thought I bust one of Lyl's best clients' head through th' wall. He nods and smiles to me. A guy with more money than brains, I figger. I smile back, in this ridiculous glamour Lyl says I gotta have else I scare th' clientele. Star Almighty, I want ta crack this guy's pompous noggin open. Show him who he's really dealin' with. Where I come from, there are no second chances. You mess up, a guy like me's sent ta deal with ya. One of th' reasons I'm here, right' Right.

So anyways, the lordy lord pleeb starts gettin' forward with the same girl again. That's when my true nature comes out. My glamour blurs for a sec and I got th' guy by th' throat the next. I look to the girl. She seems disgusted, so's I nod. It was good enough for me. I says, "Gotcha covered, beauty queen." And she smiles. "Thanks More." And she continues what she's there ta do.

I forget momentarily, kinda, that I'm cutting off the air ta this mook who I'm holding off the ground a good two feet an' lighten my grip just a tad so's he can give me some lame excuse or ask fer a priest fer his last rites. "I have money!", he says. "I don't care...", says I, "...what do I gotta buy?" Th' blood drains from his face. I love it when some jackhole lord with tons of money offers a bribe an' th' reaction that comes after I deny it. It's like having a birthday over an' over again.

"You an' yer retinue are out. Sleaze don't fly around here, pelvis boy." I took him, by th' throat, and waggled him in front of his sycophantic-like friends. "All of ya, out. An' I don't think I need ta say this, but yer not welcome here anymore. Or option two, ya don't leave an' I pop his head like a pimple an' yer all next. Not one by one but all of ya at once." They look around at each other and turn to give me, to the man, the same puzzled look. I sigh, going into an explanatory mode. "Like I roll ya up, all snappy bones and compound fractures, sniffin' each other's unmentionables and bowl ya out of here. Clear?" They move out the door posthaste, forgetting their friend and benefactor like he was yesterday's chamber pot. I let th' main offender go. But not without a boot to the ass that launches him into the storefront opposite Lyl's place. Star, that felt good. Lyl may have a problem with it but a few wounds and scars never hurt no one. He got up eventually. See, I do have a soft side.

All in all, I'm liking this place more and more.

Moreandor · Date: 2018-03-22 19:46 EST

So's I got this job I'm supposed ta do. Protect what my boss...that bein' th' lord of hell right now...holds dear. I ain't opposed ta that in no way. I'm given a job, I do it. I don't ask no questions an' if someone goes out of their way to mess with th' boss' ladies what I'm there ta protect, I get ta do what I love doin' more'n anything else in th' planes. I get ta bust heads. An' no, I don't ask any questions. It's called instincts an' I'm a demon. A wrath demon. Get it' Good. I hate explainin' th' simplicity of it ta people what don't know better. Needless ta say, I like my job in this plane right now. Also, needless ta say, it gets kinda borin'. A demon that's all wrath has ta have somethin' ta lay wrath upon, right' Right. Sure, I got me a nice room at Shadowdown's buildin' but a demon's gotta let off some steam now an' again, right' Right. Those sex demons...I forget what they're called...so's I just call them inks and sucks. On account of that's what they do to unsuspecting an', in this place, plentiful-like people who don't know no better. Sucks for them, right' Right. See what I did there. Haw. I'm gonna ask Lyl fer a trainin' room that can actually stand up ta me gettin' some stress out. Since I was sent to make sure she's protected, shouldn't be a big prob.