"What is life" An illusion, a shadow, a story, And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams." - Pedro Calderon de la Barca, Life is a Dream "Ye be a'right, aye, Lucien" Nae troubles or those botherin' ye?" "Nothing more than what life throws at anyone, Sid." "Aye, Lucky, but there be life throwin' thin's at ye when ye live in Rhy'Din, an' then there be other kinds o' life throwin' in other places."

The barrister made his way on foot to the Ancient's brownstone. The distance didn't bother him. He actually welcomed the long walk. It offered him time. Time. Everyday, Lucien was reminded of how precious a commodity time was. Sure everyone talked about it. They spoke about it in terms of quality and experiences, even in terms of money. He was certainly guilty of that. Nevertheless, for all the lessons life had thought him about time, it was never a lesson Lucien...lived.

"Tell me what has settled you?" The Watcher asked in reply to his query. "Distraction." Was the barrister's succinct reply. "Much here to distract too..." The Watcher remarked looking around the Inn. "Yes, there are. But my distractions lie elsewhere now."

Children squealed and mothers chided in between snatches of gossip as they hurried in and out of shops the barrister walked past. Men barked loud laughter and louder claims as they postured and positioned, all under the guise of casual camaraderie. Life was different in the glaring light of day. The cast was different. The audience was different. And such was the fragile balance. Once night fell and the second act began, a new cast would stepped out onto a stage redressed. And a new audience would fill the darkened theater. Already as the afternoon shadows crept across the platform, new and hushed stage directions were taking shape. "What is life between peace and storm like?" "Delicate." Was Kyrie's softly spoken reply.

A half-smoked cigar was plucked out of his pocket and bit down. Lucien halted his progress just long enough to light the stogie. Steely gray smoke trailed behind the barrister as the landmarks and landscape changed from the neatly kept shops and porches to the massive warehouses. The orchestrated chaos of life in Rhydin proper didn't dare venture its reach this far. At least not as a casual observer would notice. The rules were different here. It changed at every turn. As it was, not everyone played by the rules. If the man looked out of place, he didn't walk as if he was. There was an unspoken familiarity in his gait, but yet there was a change in his stride. He belonged...and didn't. "Should have never given up what was rightfully yours." He remarked quietly to Alysia. "In many ways, Lucien. In so many ways."

The Ancient's brownstone came into view. The barrister plucked the cigar from his lips, dropped it and crushing it underfoot. The long stream of smoke was carried upon a deep sigh. "Did ye be knowin' tha' the Moon be a Crow's dream' An'....An' life be but dreamin', Lucien" "Walkin' dreams."

His easy smile was returned to his mien and Lucien bounded up the steps. A fist was raised to the door and a loud knock was sounded.

"Oh, than' the Gods it be ye, Lucien!"

To say the Sid's greeting caught the barrister by surprise would be an understatement. And yet, it wasn't unexpected either. Lucien didn't need to have any preternatural abilities to sense the Ancient had been unsettled of late. She was...overanimated. She seemed as if she would crawl out of her own skin. There was a charge of electricity about her. He had felt it in her touch. There was a nervous energy about the Ancient, much like... "Well, if I knew I'd get this kind of a welcome, I'd have visited sooner, Sid." There was a levity in the barrister's tone that did not reach his eyes as he held the Ancient who held tight to him. "Come now, aren't you going to invite me inside?" Lucien teased quietly, keeping his tone light, even if his thoughts weren't. "Folks will starting talking and I'd hate to have your reputation tarnished due to the company of a good-for-nothing lawyer," he added with a self-effacing chuckle. Lucien didn't wait for the Ancient to reply. He gently coaxed the Ancient back inside and shut door to the changing stage behind them. Sid was led to the staircase leading to the upper floors of the brownstone. The briefcase that had become a fixture at the barrister's side of late, and the small box tied with strong were set down by the railing. And Lucien sat down with the Ancient on the lower risers, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. "You are right, M'friend." Lucien's hushed words lingered in the still that settled over the brownstone. "Life is a dream. But we are the dreamers."

A Seraph

"Oh nae!" Violently she shook her head, those silver bells of fifty and nine clanking like old, rusty bottle caps. "Jus' one o' thousands created by they. One o' many meant to fight an' die an' rebirth endlessly for needless battles, Lucien."

There was a sadness that graced Lucien's eyes at that revelation, to be created and recreated for purposeless fighting. "So what is it that mortals are born with that you are now....experiencing?"

"This." One long finger, strangely elegant in design, reached out and traced his face. Touched his sadness. "Ye feel, Lucien. Ye were born to emotion. It be somethin' wha' I 'ave nae known the touch o' as intimately. Nae until now."

Regarding the Acient for a breath, he finally, slowly nodded. "It's frightening, isn't it?"

"Frankly, I be findin' them annoyin'. Tedious. An' I nae know how ye all do it an' nae jus' implode. I dun claim tha' I will know them e'er as a mortal do, but...." Her voice dropping to a near inaudible level, her hand back to her cup and her eyes down within it. "It be scarin' me, m'friend. I dun think I 'ave e'er been afraid."

The barrister couldn't help but smile at her first brush of what she thought of emotions. His words taking on the same quiet tone as her own. "Sometimes, I don't know why they don't drive us to implode, either. Sometimes, we do implode, Sid. Honestly, they scare the shorts right off of me."

Another chuckle from the Ancient, like sandpaper, dry and rasping. "Well, then there always be the thin' wha' me mate tol' me recent. Somethin' wha' means I mayhap nae be wha' I be thinkin' I be all these eons." The smirk was cold, coffee held up for another sip. "Ye goin' to love this one."

"What is that, Sid?"

"I....I dun really know, Lucien. I really dun. It be somethin' to do with wha' I be questionin' on dreams." Laughter cawed, then, wry and unbelieving. "If'n ye can get this, seems I be the Moon, m'friend. I existed before the Architect o' Eternity laid the foundation to the physical. Apparently, an' ye be lovin' this part, I know I did, I be dreamin' the Architect. I be a Mystery an' I, the Moon, be a Crow's dream. I be birthin' the dreams wha' dreamed more dreams, all made flesh an' real!" Sid snorted into her cup, drinking more quickly. Her voice a raised pitch, silver eyes gone wild. It was clear she didn't want to believe this, desperately. Still, something in her gaze spoke of fright of this knowledge. "An' another good one, I can seemin'ly unmake the whole o' this!" Laughter was near hysteria now, arm flung up to sweep a gesture about them and then falling to her lap with a slap.

You frighten him. You are not for this. Blissful ignorance awaits but your turn of a handle, a single step over my threshold.

Sid flinched as the Dragon's call rang through her mindscape, her nose wrinkling and a hand moved to the back of her neck to rub there.

The barrister didn't reply immediately. What does a mortal man say to that revelation' A furrow creased his brow again when he noted her flinching. "Do you feel something, Sid?" She blinked rapidly, though, those moonwhite lashes surrounding silver true a quick fluttering as she met his eyes and responded quizzically. Pretending not to understand, he suspected. But, his smile returned, carried upon a warmth that has been rare from him, of late. A warmth reserved for a small handful anymore. "All this?" Waving a hand in a circle to signify what she'd confessed.

"Aye, it be to laugh, be it nae?" Laughter sticking in her throat, wetness welling in true silver.

"None of that changes the fact that you are still my dear and close friend."

"Frell!" Sid grabbed at a napkin from its holder on the table, swiping angrily at her eyes. "An' these!" Pressing the paper hard to her face so her words came muffled. "I be hatin' these!" Slim shoulders began to tremble then, and she snapped up another napkin to add to the first.

"I don't care if you are the Moon, or a Crow's dream or a Mystery." A pause, humor rising to his tone and a flickering in clear blue eyes. "Well....there is something sexy about being mysterious, you know."

"Oh, Lucien!" Sid fairly wailed, a strange thing coming from her, granted, but Lucky moved from his place at the table to the Ancient's side and wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders. She fell to his hold, her own arms encircling him as she quaked and sobbed. "I dun wan' this!" Lankyn. Dead. Yep. Dead elf.

Whipsering words gently shared, he held tightly and rubbed gently across her back. "This is why I always have a handkerchief on hand."

Pulling back with a harsh sniffle, she wipes at her eyes and nose. "I jus'....I dun get this. I dun wan' this. I be nae made for this. I...." Turning from him then to let her forehead smack into the table top hard. "I be sorry, Lucien. I didna mean to....Ye shouldna 'ave to hear all this from me."

"Hey now." The barrister couldn't help but grimace at the sound of her head hitting the wood. "There isn't anything to be sorry for. You are my friend. And I asked, besides. And why shouldn't I hear this from you? I am not going to tell anyone." Adding with a self-effacing grin. "Lawyers are like priests like that, you know. We keep secrets." Quietly, though, his tone took on a more somber tone. "I wish I could take this from you, Sid. I wish I could make this better. But, the only thing I assure you of is this. As frightening and..." He chuckled softly. "tedious as emotions can be, along with the pain comes a joy that....is just beyond description. Along with the rage comes....love. Deep down love that sometimes makes it feel like it'd hurt to breathe. But oh! What a sweet feeling that is."

The Trueblood turned her head then, cheeking pressing into the cool, smoothness of the table top, her hands lying limply in her lap and red-rimmed eyes to his once more. "I dun know, Lucien. I feel need to tell o' wha' I be o' late. Nae to many, jus' those like ye, special. Ye an' another I 'ave tol'. Scottie be knowin' lon' an' lon'. An', me siblin's. For so lon' I 'ave held wha' I be from all. Came with the exile, I be guessin'. A need to hide, to let go."

"And I am honored to be counted among the elect few, m'friend. You know, if you feel the urge to tell someone else, but there isn't anyone, I can always come by in a costume and you can pretend you are telling someone new." Giving her a crooked grin into those swollen eyes, a hand tenderly brushing along her cheek.

His words made her smile a touch, but that chin quivered still and her voice was small and low. "Sometimes it be callin', Lucky. It be there, makin' promises. Promisin' to take me away again. So close. So close and blissful ignorance be mine."

Lucien shook his head hard. "It isn't blissful ignorance, Sid. There is no such thing." A deep sigh fell, he nodded and then confessed quietly. "I know that personally."

"Ye do?" The Ancient brought her head from the table, sat up and drug the back of her arm across her face.

Nodding, Lucky whispered his admission. "Yes, I do. It's just plain oblivion. There is nothing blissful about it. And....you think you are losing control because of these emotions" It'll lead you down a path where you have no control whatsoever."

"But, ye nae care. It does nae matter. Into his den an' I can be free." She even knew this to be a lie, but the promise of it was still a strong call. "Wha' do ye know, Lucien" Tell me, please?" Please help me to understand. The not knowing is what kills. The plea so urgent and intense upon her angular features.

Another deep breath let go, and he nodded. Ice blue eyes sought out and held tight to silver. "You won't be free in his den. If you return, you won't be free ever again, Sid." Lucky swallowed thickly against the emotion that beat raw within him. "I wanted to die, Sid. Wanted to be free of the pain and the hurt and....and....be free of this world that I've known. This life of mine that was spiralling out of control. I wanted it to all go away and find a place where it all made sense again." He paused to draw another deep inhale. "Do you remember a few years ago' I started sailing?"

Sid watched him closely, nodding to his words. She understood this feeling so very well, it bit at what passed as her soul. Fingers reaching forth, curled about her friend's and squeezed. "Aye, I remember."

"I was looking to die, Sid. I might not have consciously been aware of that then, so wrapped up in my grief was I. But, my means of escape wasn't Dragon's Milk, it was death. I foolishly thought this would just affect me and no one else, but I learned this is not the case, either."

The shake of her head brought a mournful ringling of those elflocks, her words choked for his pain and her own. "Nae, 'tis nae the case." Oh, how the blind see! "An', if'n wha' be happenin' to me be nae happenin', I wouldna think on tha'. Wouldna care o' others. I canna take me own existence. After exile it be a means to an end, I guess."

Lucien nodded, his eyes full of understanding. "Sid....you stopped taking it while you were expecting. Why?"

"Why?" Silvered brows knitting in thought at his question. "Because...." Because Scottie asked her to' No. "Because o' the bairns."

"Why?" He asked again, trying to elicit further explanation.

"So they nae be harmed by it. So they be growin' strong an' true. I...." Her gaze dropped again from his to study her hands. "I thought to start again when they be birthed."

"That's my point, Sid. You knew others would be affected by your actions, your choices. The same still holds true today. How could it affect your children, your mate" How would it affect your family' Your friends" I risked the life of a good friend, Sid." The barrister closed his eyes against his own stupidity and shook his head. "Foolishly risked the life of a good friend, for what? Because I was wrapped up in my own pain. I wanted the easy way out. I wanted the coward's way out."

"I....I....Nae. I didna start again because Scottie be askin' me to nae. I jus'....I...." Lips slid in and pressed to a tight line, then she breathed out in sharp exhale. "I didna wan' to hurt him so I didna start again."

"And you don't think it'll hurt him now" You don't think it'll hurt your children?"

Laying her head to his shoulder, fingers lacing with his, she sighs. "Nae, it will. He be tellin' me so."

He pressed a kiss to her brow as she rested against him, free arm embracing her shoulders and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't go back to the den. You don't belong there. You belong here. With us. With your family. With your friends."

"I canna be sayin' I dun wan' to go, Lucien. But, it be warrin' in me mindscape wha' tha' be meanin' to others jus' like everythin' else be in there warrin'." Clutching tightly to his grip, eyes scrinching shut against the flood she could feel about to fall again. "I dun know how much longer I can keep fightin'."

"I know, Sid." A humorless chuckle, quick and quiet. "I know. You need not fight it alone."

"Nae?" Lifting up and swiping her face to the back of her free hand.

"No, my dear friend. You don't. I'll fight with you."

Hugging him fierce, she buries her face to his neck. "Oh, Lucien! Than' ye for bein' m'friend."

"The honor and gratitude for friendship is all mine, dear friend. It is all mine."