Renna had a great many things weighing down upon her as of late. If you ignore all of the drama she has caused in her drunken self-destructive stupor, there was still a hefty shadow looming over her. Although trying her best as Eternal House leader, she was far from perfect. Her violent inebriated actions against Crowe and Arthour were proof enough of that. But she knew she could never really hurt them " no, she could never hurt her friends. At least, not physically"
Regardless of the horrible things she had said to both men, she found herself once again sat in a position where Arthour had still offered his hand of friendship; despite the anger of her words against him " questioning his leadership of Mage House and his competency. Even through all of the harsh things she had said were venomous and laced spiteful hatred, he still wanted to help. He still wanted to be friends. She only assumed Crowe, felt the same.
All she wanted to do was to push them away, and for them to give up caring about her. That was all she wanted to do. Somehow, she even managed to fail spectacularly on that regard. Still, Arthour trusted her, still he wanted her help with the situation at Old Temple " why, would he not just give up"! It frustrated to her no end that these people just will not leave her alone to wallow in her own self-pity and remorseful self-loathing.
Naturally, she turned down helping Arthour with his little problem almost immediately. Quite angrily at that....For the drink had once again spoken for her in that mesh of slurred uncontrolled and unwarranted anger. She knew no good would come of the situation by releasing yet another dangerous individual to hunt down Demons in Old Temple. She felt she was better off locked up at Bristle Crios where she could hurt no one, playing the role as the quiet, reclusive Leader, School Librarian and Gardener.
But everyone wanted to say their piece. To give her advice on how to deal with her current problems. Everyone and their damn Grandmother wanted to heal a wound that was a deep and as old as she herself.
Renna hated to be alone. And it all boiled down to the snapping point that had ruined her peaceful and controlled life. It all came down to the man that tipped her over the edge by breaking his promises of staying by her side through thick and thin, to hold her when she awoke screaming from the nightmares of her past sins " to be there and to help her repent. To keep a leash on the weapon that was fully primed and ready to explode at the slightest provocation.
Kaius.
"Kaius?" How many times had she cried now" Too many, she thought, as she surveyed her sparse and very bare room within the underbelly of Eternal House, which in her latest fit of drunken rage, she had completely trashed. The only thing not upturned, or not thrown about was the brand new telepathic crystal Arthour and recreated for her that was gripped in her deadly left mechanical claw.
Glaring through the tears, she panted hard, and found herself planting her back squarely against her bedroom door, her other claw reaching up a half drunk bottle of scotch. As the alcohol burned down her throat, her eyes rolled back into her head, and once she had swallowed the liquid peace she now clings to like a lifeline, Renna released a satisfied sigh, and then a lamenting groan.
Why was she doing this to herself" She couldn't work properly like this. And chances are, sooner or later, Miranda will start to notice her sudden change; her drunken arrivals on Bristle Crios grounds late at night, stumbling back into Eternal House from Nemesis knows where....Her sudden bouts of rage at the tiniest of things" Even at the Academy, when working in the Library, she stunk of alcohol " and she knew, that the other Teachers could smell it....They knew she was spiralling out of control.
It was only a matter of time, before they fired her. Or worse" Revoked her membership at Bristle Crios" Or worse still" Banished her from Bristle Crios forever"
She hoped they did. That way then she could go into hiding. Return to homeland" Maybe even end it all by paying a visit to Edward Batten. He after all, could end it for her. He had the tools to do it.
"What am' I thinking?? Renna wept as she threw the bottle of scotch at the wall opposite her, the glass shattering everywhere, the liquid splattering all up the wall as she slid down the door until she sat upon her rump, with her back firmly pressed back against the door.
Breaking down into another fit of tears, she screamed her sorrow as loud as she possibly could, until the strain on her body - both emotional and physical, could bare it no longer. She fell asleep there upon the floor.
Regardless of the horrible things she had said to both men, she found herself once again sat in a position where Arthour had still offered his hand of friendship; despite the anger of her words against him " questioning his leadership of Mage House and his competency. Even through all of the harsh things she had said were venomous and laced spiteful hatred, he still wanted to help. He still wanted to be friends. She only assumed Crowe, felt the same.
All she wanted to do was to push them away, and for them to give up caring about her. That was all she wanted to do. Somehow, she even managed to fail spectacularly on that regard. Still, Arthour trusted her, still he wanted her help with the situation at Old Temple " why, would he not just give up"! It frustrated to her no end that these people just will not leave her alone to wallow in her own self-pity and remorseful self-loathing.
Naturally, she turned down helping Arthour with his little problem almost immediately. Quite angrily at that....For the drink had once again spoken for her in that mesh of slurred uncontrolled and unwarranted anger. She knew no good would come of the situation by releasing yet another dangerous individual to hunt down Demons in Old Temple. She felt she was better off locked up at Bristle Crios where she could hurt no one, playing the role as the quiet, reclusive Leader, School Librarian and Gardener.
But everyone wanted to say their piece. To give her advice on how to deal with her current problems. Everyone and their damn Grandmother wanted to heal a wound that was a deep and as old as she herself.
Renna hated to be alone. And it all boiled down to the snapping point that had ruined her peaceful and controlled life. It all came down to the man that tipped her over the edge by breaking his promises of staying by her side through thick and thin, to hold her when she awoke screaming from the nightmares of her past sins " to be there and to help her repent. To keep a leash on the weapon that was fully primed and ready to explode at the slightest provocation.
Kaius.
"Kaius?" How many times had she cried now" Too many, she thought, as she surveyed her sparse and very bare room within the underbelly of Eternal House, which in her latest fit of drunken rage, she had completely trashed. The only thing not upturned, or not thrown about was the brand new telepathic crystal Arthour and recreated for her that was gripped in her deadly left mechanical claw.
Glaring through the tears, she panted hard, and found herself planting her back squarely against her bedroom door, her other claw reaching up a half drunk bottle of scotch. As the alcohol burned down her throat, her eyes rolled back into her head, and once she had swallowed the liquid peace she now clings to like a lifeline, Renna released a satisfied sigh, and then a lamenting groan.
Why was she doing this to herself" She couldn't work properly like this. And chances are, sooner or later, Miranda will start to notice her sudden change; her drunken arrivals on Bristle Crios grounds late at night, stumbling back into Eternal House from Nemesis knows where....Her sudden bouts of rage at the tiniest of things" Even at the Academy, when working in the Library, she stunk of alcohol " and she knew, that the other Teachers could smell it....They knew she was spiralling out of control.
It was only a matter of time, before they fired her. Or worse" Revoked her membership at Bristle Crios" Or worse still" Banished her from Bristle Crios forever"
She hoped they did. That way then she could go into hiding. Return to homeland" Maybe even end it all by paying a visit to Edward Batten. He after all, could end it for her. He had the tools to do it.
"What am' I thinking?? Renna wept as she threw the bottle of scotch at the wall opposite her, the glass shattering everywhere, the liquid splattering all up the wall as she slid down the door until she sat upon her rump, with her back firmly pressed back against the door.
Breaking down into another fit of tears, she screamed her sorrow as loud as she possibly could, until the strain on her body - both emotional and physical, could bare it no longer. She fell asleep there upon the floor.