Topic: Schizophreniform (Background) (18+)

This Dark One

Date: 2011-10-21 09:37 EST
(WARNING! The following content is 18+ in some areas, and is not suitable for younger readers, or the easily offended. Been warned!)

0.1

I first saw the world as this dark place.

A lonely place.

A scary place, that chilled my soul and quaked my bones. A world where there was no one to trust, no one to love, no one to depend upon but myself. Through the tiny gaps of my cage, I sat balled up in a tight shell of long black hair, ragged clothes, and bloodstains that had long since crusted over my unclean skin.

The stench that came from me, made me want to gag. Every waking moment, the smell of my own abused aroma, had served to remind me that I was nothing but a dirty little girl who deserved everything she got. Nothing, but a bad dog, that was fed the scraps of other people's meals long grown cold.

Or sometimes, if a servant crossed my Master's path, he would often cut a piece form them, and feed it to me. Just to give them a lesson. To show that their meat was no good; not even for a Vampire, but was more than sufficient for some monster such as me.

Because, that is what they called me.

"The Pet Monster."

They only ever let me out, to show me off to dinner guests, or to indulge in my anguish as they publicly abused me in every conceivable manner....Such memories still haunt me to this day. I still wake up; crying, sometimes....But almost always, an uncontrollable rage would just swell up inside of me. My hatred and anger for a past self that did not have the power to lash back at the hand that fed.

I hated myself for it, and still, I shall never forgive the weakness of fear that gripped me so tight that it ran my life for sixteen whole f***ing years...

That little girl in the cage did eventually grow up.

The more mature I became, the more violent, the more sexual had become my treatment. Staring between the bars of a cage did not seem all that bad compared to staring up at a ceiling, trying to block out the ragged breaths of so many men that were allowed to use such an innocent young me as nothing but a sex toy for their f***ed up amusement.

But that was all a part of the conditioning. That was all a part of the training he said.

"One day you will thank me for this. For you will realise that you have grown strong because of it."

That is what he said.

He was right.

On my thirteenth birthday " although really the date or even the day of my birth shall never ever be truly known, they let me out. My Master said he had a surprise for me, and when he said it like that, I knew it wasn't something I were going to enjoy.

It meant meeting one of his many guests in the bedroom for a sadistic round of sexual depravity that I have become accustomed to pretending to enjoy....But there were some nights, when that fine line between the lie and the truth often blurred....Sometimes, I didn't mind being used....I convinced myself I enjoyed it. I told myself that if I enjoyed it, the pain would go away. It did for a time....But something else replaced it.

An anger I never felt before. It bubbled up inside me as the latest carrion of twisted darkness did what he wanted with me, how ever he wanted.

Then it snapped. I suddenly felt alive " I felt a great weight, lifted from my shoulders, as I strangled the bastard until his gargled screams ceased altogether. But I didn't stop there. His sight sickened me ? my anger had thrown me into a fit of catharsis that screamed for more! I became the Monster that night.

My Master found me later that morning with a half eaten corpse and I, cowering in the corner with a torn apart hand, sucking the delicious warm meat from its still twitching fingers...

And he praised me.

"Good little Monster," He said. "Good little monster..."

This Dark One

Date: 2011-10-22 09:11 EST
0.2

From the first day of praise from my heartless Master, my life had started to change....The world was no longer as lonely, or as foreboding as I once thought. Instead, I started to view life as something to overcome " something to surpass, something to crave and hunger for....I started to think that my life was nothing unless I pleased and obeyed my Master's will.

It all originated from the small things.

He released me from my cage and instead of living my life in that cramped up pen, he allowed me to sleep at the foot of his bed, curled up amongst a mountain of soft, feather-stuffed pillows. He replaced my ragged clothes with a new nightgown, and he even went as far as to order his maids and butlers to wash and take care of his beloved "Pet."

He took me along to meetings of great importance amongst the Bloodstone clan, and it was there that I learned the meaning of politics, and what it was used for. My Master was an artist of the skill, his words could sway any of his lesser siblings to either end of the spectrum, and as I knelt next to him, my head bowed and eyes closed listening ever so intently, I had started to come to respect the man that had abused me for so many years.

It was upon one such family meeting that things became violent. One of the brothers of the Bloodstone clan " a minor character in a play of powerful Vampires, had raised questions regarding my Master's decision to punish one of his villages for its incompetence in paying the monthly offering.

My Master sat back and took in the string of violent words from one of his own kindred, a very strange smile crossing his lips that I knew of all too well....But they didn't. Nor did his brother. They did not see that smile like I have seen it.

His hand had moved to gently stroke my head, and I cooed and purred like the Pet I was, nuzzling his hand, wondering why his affections was surfacing at this awkward moment. But then I opened my eyes, and looked up at him. His cold blue eyes stared back down at me, seething with a rage that caused my skin to crawl.

"....Dear Pet, could you please remove the vermin from my sight?"

The words sparked anger in my own heart.

Someone had enraged him' And it wasn't me"!

I stood quickly and made little notice of the shocked gasps of those around that long dining room table, as I ran down its length, knocking over goblets and pitchers of blood on my direct path to the man that would be my prey.

He didn't get much of a chance to react, as I hurled myself through the air, and plunged my fingers into his eyes, pushing him back over his chair and onto the ground where I straddled his chest and ripped into his face with tooth and nail.

The screams were....Intoxicating....I groaned and moaned as flesh came from his face and into my mouth, I moved lower to his neck, and gouged out his jugular with gnashing teeth and a rising, childish laughter.

I listened to the words of my Master, as I enjoyed the curious taste of the Undead flesh of a Vampire.

"Ladies and Gentlemen....You may know her well, for she never leaves my side. You may even had the pleasure of bedding her in the past....But think not of her as my Pet; no, I cannot waste such raw talent with such a lowly position. Please, Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Renna. She's going to be keeping the peace within our clan for the foreseeable future. And if, any of you crosses paths with me again and bring about my ire....Then, you're going to become prey for the Monster of the Bloodstone clan....And as you can see, she does enjoy a good meal.?

This Dark One

Date: 2011-10-23 12:16 EST
0.3

The winter seasons were unforgiving. The snow would cake the ground and smother out the life of the countryside. The villages would clamp up their homes tight, barricading the windows to lock out the cold and to capture the heat bleeding out of their hearths. The manor house of my Master, was treated in a similar fashion, despite his Undead flesh had no quarrels with temperature. It was for the servants well-being that every year around this season the manor house was boarded up to lock as much heat within its unholy walls....

For the servants were his source of nourishment. If they had become sick and ill, the blood coursing through their veins would not be up to his standards. For my Master had a very specific and perverse taste for young and healthy women, especially if they were virgins. If the servants' blood was sullied in any way by sickness, he would kill them, and use their remains to fuel the fires of the manor's many hearths.

That is why the servants of my Master's manor maintained their health to a pious degree. They were always clean, always smartly dressed, always sleeping the correct amount of hours, always eating a balanced diet " their fervour in looking after themselves, became almost obsessive to an almost maddening height.

One winter, one of the maids fell ill with a simple cold. Fearing for a most gruesome end at the hands of my Master, she hung herself from the chandelier in the dining room. I was the one to find her, for I could smell the stench of death like one would a honey roasted suckling pig being dragged out of an oven. I informed the maids of the death of their own, and then informed my Master.

His words, were as cold as the weather.

"Leave her up there. Wait until her flesh rots and she falls from the rope. It will serve as a reminder to the other servants."

For two whole months that woman hung there, her corpse a bulbous, gory mass of death and decay. Every day the servants passed under the chandelier, they dared not look up. They dared not breathe in the stale air for fear of contracting a disease from the pestilence rotting above.

I had wondered why my Master ordered us to keep the corpse up there. But then, I kind of realised, that maybe he was punishing the servants for that maid's selfishness. Instead of taking the punishment and being killed by the hands of my Master, he was now punishing her in death by potentially making the other servants sick with her own corpse...

I did not normally move against my Master's wishes at that age. And it was the first time I would ever go behind his back, and make my own decision.

Despite my Master's wishes, I felt sorry for the maid. One night, I cut her down; I made it look like the rope had finally gave way under the carcass's weight, and then laid her to rest on the dining room floor. I covered the corpse with my blanket, and spoke a few simple words.

"May your suffering end. Sleep well.?

This Dark One

Date: 2012-01-08 11:13 EST
0.4

I had come accustomed to the night. It felt more like home than walking amongst the daylight.

Besides....When your Master is a bloodsucking heartless night terror, who shies away from the day and its weakening rays, what choice do you have but to adapt to the dark blanket and its silver moonlight'

But, then again....Maybe I just liked the colour....You know" That mysterious, silvery white-light that bathes everything in that eerie brightened grey glow, turning tanned skin to look like grey stone....I liked the way it reflected against water, too. It made the lakes look like vast bodies of twitching oil.

I loved nothing more than swimming at night....Even now, I just love floating upon the surface, arms and legs spread out, eyes wide open to the starry sky, the cold embrace of possible death that ice-cold waters could bring....It never could though.

Somehow, I could spend hours there, just floating " I've seen others shiver to death in the unforgiving, motionless waters, succumbing to a deep sleep " but not me....I found that both strange, and yet, a blessing, too.

There was another reason for my coming out here, though....

I ran away at night, to be alone, and this, was my only safe haven from my bloodsucking Master....For, running water " rivers, and calm lakes, and the vast wide ocean. I never saw him tread into anything beyond a puddle. It seemed the water scared him. Him, and his kind....I never understood why, though.

That meant; out in the lake, he could not get me ? he could not reach me. He could not reach out and defile me with his sickening petting, his cruel words and gentle smiles! His damn tongue and twisted lies! Here, amongst the water, I felt safe....

Safe enough, and lonely enough, to spend those many nights singing to myself, so that I could not break down into tears.

This Dark One

Date: 2012-03-29 15:37 EST
0.5

The death of winter was a beautiful thing, as spring would come, clawing its way through the snow-filled fields " tiny buds of red and green dotting the ancient titanic trees of the Silent Forest, stirring the elves that lived under their expansive canopies to prepare for nature's miraculous rebirth...

But it was just another day for me"

Another moment in hell....

Another day, with an invisible leash about my throat that I was quickly becoming accustomed to' It was odd, but the older I became under his enslavement, the more I felt the stranger urges of pleasure taking its toll over my disgust for him.

I even began to feel romantic sensations" Feelings, that threw me into a complicated confusion between sheer hatred and obsessive attachment.

Rather than allowing my Master to take the pleasure of forcing his desires upon me, I remember the first time I willingly offered myself up to him'

It happened one evening while he is was leisurely relaxing in his private study; you should have seen it! Oh how I wish you all could have seen the look upon his face! It was one of quiet surprise; a subtle raise of his thin dark brows, and a slight incline of his head from the tome he had been indulging his superior intellect with, to witness his Pet Monster entering his personal space"

..Standing before him while he sat there in that ridiculously large arm chair of his, wearing nothing but a night gown I had stolen from one of the maid's quarters the night prior.

It was transparent, and it allowed him to see everything " I stood there, not afraid, not submissive; no I was not there for his enjoyment. I was there, to indulge in the feelings growing inside of me " I gathered the courage, to stand before him and lay bare not only my body for his eyes to drink, but for my feelings to be reached"

I came prepared. I was dolled up like some trophy in make-up to make absolutely sure he could not resist my charm"

I spoke assertively, but not too aggressively.

"Master" Please, put aside the tome, so that I can please you, so that I can show you my devotion. I cannot contain this feeling no longer, Master, please accept."

I advanced on him, for once, and moved my hands to cup his cheeks.

I moved to kiss him, I could feel his cold, icy breath so close to my lips"

The next thing I knew my cheek was burning hot from a slap I could not even see. I was on the floor, on my rear, looking back up to a snarling face that was so close to mine. He had come to kneel in front of me, while he mercilessly grasped my arm, twisting it to the point that it threatened to break, while his other hand, clenched long thin fingers about my neck, choking the life out of me.

My feelings of confidence; my feelings of unacquainted love, dashed there along the ground where I sat trembling" I was so afraid I had done something wrong " I had done, nothing, wrong! I merely longed to show him my conviction " my love for him " my Master, my Father, my Lover " that was all!

As he choked me, and broke my arm, he whispered soothing words.

?" Touch me only when I ask you to, Pet. I understand what you tried to do, and I commend you on your continued service with such passion, but do not forget, Pet' That those emotions you displayed to me ought to have been purged from your being, during your training as a child."

I had made a mistake.

I had gone about it all the wrong way!

What I fool I was, allowing my emotions to cloud my judgement.

"If you had come to me, like the savage you are " biting, snarling, threatening me to screw your brains out then yes, perhaps you would had got what you were looking for this night....Foolish girl" You disappoint me?"

His words, I still remember them. They haunt me to this day like so many other things he has spoken to me" But to fail him, and his ideals " that, was the biggest mistake, I would never make again.

"How are you to achieve my goal as becoming the most feared weapon in all of the Bloodstone Clan if you are still stuck up on feelings like you displayed in front of me today"! Look back on this evening Renna, and let it serve as a reminder to you, that this is not, what you are supposed to be!!! You take what you want! You force yourself on others " like others have done to you!"

The pain of my body did not match the pain that was stabbing into my heart.

I had failed him.

Failed!

I wanted him to end my life there, and then"

But, it seems he had a solution to my problem.

"I see now that your training is still yet incomplete and I will make sure, from now on, that I am very thorough in my methods. Reconditioning commences tomorrow. Meet me at the servant quarters at midnight."