Topic: Driving Miss Riley

Rhys Bristol

Date: 2011-02-12 15:47 EST
Riley slid into the maroon "72 Monte Carlo Rhys had recently rescued from the junk yard, tucking her trench coat under her legs and digging in the coat's pockets for gloves.

Rhys put the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life, rumbling loudly like it needed a new muffler, among other things. He lifted a finger to her in warning, "Not a word. I'm working on her."

She winced at the noise and then stuffed her hands into the gloves. She slid sideways, facing him and making a zipper motion over her lips.

"I sold the GTO to..." He broke off, unsure if he should tell her the real reason he'd sold her.

"Buy a really expensive call girl and a boatload of whiskey?"

"No, you," he admitted, pulling out onto the street and heading toward the WestEnd. "I was gonna buy you at the auction."

She blinked in shock. "Really. Why didn't you?"

He shrugged his shoulders, keeping his eyes on the road. "I didn't think it would be a good idea with you getting married and all."

"Huh. But kissing me is a good idea. Dancing with me is a good idea. Driving me home is a good idea." There was no accusation or rancor in her voice, no trace of sarcasm or anger, either.

"No, those aren't good ideas either. They're dangerous ideas." He paused a moment. "You really love him, don't you?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "No, I don't. He's just a filler until I can find something better. What kind of question is that, Rhys" Of course I love him. I wouldn't be doing this great big thing tomorrow if I didn't. You ought to know that about me."

"Yeah, I do know that. I just....need to know for sure, you know" It's not easy letting go, Riley. I'm trying."

Her expression softened. "I know," she said sadly. "It's not easy to let go."

"I got the CD you sent me." She'd sent him a mix of songs recently, burned onto a CD with a handwritten message that said, "You'll always be a part of me."

She glanced at him sidelong. "Oh' And my musical tastes are still suspect, aren't they?"

"John Mayer, really?" He smirked over at her, unable to resist the urge to tease her just a little.

"I swear if you say 'John Mayer is a douchebag', I will rip your face off."

He chuckled. "I don't have to. You just did."

She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Your face is a douchebag," she muttered.

He smiled, darting a glance at her, knowing he was getting under her skin. It was a talent he'd always seemed to possess, especially when it came to her. "That the best you can do?"

She growled at him and turned to look out the window, a full-on twelve-year-old girl pout in the making.

He found the pout cute, as he always had and probably always would. "Oh, come on. You know I'm just teasing, and I really liked the CD."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Did you? You're not just saying that to get me to not be angry?"

He'd sobered, a serious look on his face, his eyes on the road. He'd cried listening to that CD, but he'd never admit that to her. There was a message there amidst the music, as if she was trying to tell him something she couldn't quite put into words.

Fare thee well my bright star I watched your taillights blaze into nothingness But you were long gone before I ever got to you Before you blazed past this address

"No, I'm not just saying that. It meant a lot to me, Ri. I'll always love you, no matter what, but I'm not gonna stand in your way. You deserve to be happy."

She turned to face him now, a soft, sad smile on her face. "Rhys..." She paused and licked her lips nervously. "Look. I don't....I don't know what?s going to happen in the future, with the demons and everything. Sh*t," she said and realised she didn't know how to tell him what she was trying to say.

His kept his eyes on the road. He didn't dare look at her. His heart was all torn to pieces, but he couldn't let her see that. Not now. He looked over at her finally, furrowing his brows, wondering what it was she was trying to say. "The future is always uncertain, Riley."

"Do you remember our last conversation' When you were in...Texas, I think" It was on the Fourth of July."

"Riley, our last conversation was with a demon who was pretending to be you and was telling me you hated me and was hoping I'd get sent away for good." He figured she didn't know that and he wasn't sure why he was telling her that, but it was what had driven him to near madness. It wasn't until much later that he'd put the pieces together and finally figured out that that hadn't been her on the phone that fateful night.

"No, that wasn't me. So it doesn't count as our last conversation."

"Refresh my memory?"

"Our last conversation was on the Fourth of July, right before Orla's memorial service. I had a bunch of people over. We were bar-be-cuing, people were in the pool. You talked to Baron and to Deacon about keeping me safe."

"Yeah, I remember that." He frowned. Some of it was still fuzzy, but he remembered. He wasn't sure why it was relevant now though, so he quieted and let her make her point.

"Your phone cut off before we could say....Before we could say 'I love you' to each other. I carried that around with me for the next year."

He turned to look at her for a moment. "But you should have known that without my saying it."

She shrugged, knowing she was failing miserably at her attempt to make herself clear. "I did know. But..." She trailed off and shook her head, glancing out the window to see how close they were to the Gardens. "I wanted to hear you say it, one last time, Rhys," she said softly. "I thought you were dead. I thought the Fae had you. I thought the demons had you. I thought....I thought you left me because you didn't want me."

He sighed. "Christ, Ri. I've loved you for so long, it's like....it's like you're part of me. Letting you go is....It's like....I can't explain it."

"It's like cutting out a part of your soul and watching it burn up."

"Yeah, something like that." He pulled up in front of Zen finally, not worried about the car really. It was a hunk of mostly worthless junk. He shut the car off and glanced up at the building and the windows of the empty apartment that had become his home. If there was anything left that he wanted to say to her, now was the time.

"Look, you've asked me so many times why I love David, why I'm marrying him. Why him, right?"

He looked back at her, trying not to wear his heart on his sleeve. "You don't really owe me any explanations."

"I want you to hear this. You need to hear this, because one day, you'll find someone and I don't want you to make the same mistakes with her as you did with me."

He doubted he'd ever find anyone he loved as much as her again, but he'd thought the same about Jessie and Cara. He almost held his breath, waiting for her to speak, waiting for her to tell him what he'd done wrong, how he'd screwed up.

"David and I work because we talk to each other. When it's gonna hurt, when it's gonna be uncomfortable and dredge up nasty, yucky, icky feelings, when we've done something that's hurt the other person, we talk to each other. We don't hide behind anger or sex. We don't lie to each other. We have no secrets from each other." She looked at him, making sure that he was listening. "I let him help me because I can't do it all on my own."

He turned to look out the window, listening even though he wasn't watching her lips move. He wasn't going to argue about how it was both their faults. It no longer mattered. He'd tried, he thought, but maybe he hadn't tried hard enough. "I'm sorry," was all he could really manage at that moment.

"I'm not blaming it all on you, bab...Rhys. It takes two to tango. I was just as much to blame as you. I was too damaged, too broken, too unwilling to trust. But I guess....I guess I have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. I can see what you're too close to see properly." She paused. "Don't be sorry. Just...don't make the same mistakes next time."

"I'm not sure there will be a next time."

"There has to be."

He turned back to her. "Why' Because it's not fair if there isn't?"

"F*ck fair. There has to be a next time because to have it be otherwise would sh*t all over your sacrifice."

"Life's not always fair, Ri. You know that. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not counting on it."

She sighed deeply, glanced up at the stars that peeked through the tiny tears in the cloud covering. "Don't be so defeatist. What's the point of living if there's not hope, Rhys?"

"Not defeatist....Realist. I just don't want to get my hopes up. That's all. You wanna set me up on a blind date or something?" He smirked over at her, trying to lighten the mood.

She turned to look at him. "No. You do fine on your own."

He snorted. "Yeah, right. Have you noticed how many women are lined up waiting for a date" Zero."

She arched a brow. "Ever think it's your attitude?"

"Sure, I can pick up the random stripper now and then. Or the hot chick that needs a ride home. But serious relationship material?"

"You're so not ready for serious relationship material."

The comment stung, like a knife. "All I've ever wanted was to settle down, get married, raise a family. Have a normal life."

"Then work on it. But you gotta get your house in order first."

"Normal's never been in the cards for me, Riley. Maybe if I can get this monkey off my back." He was referring to the demons who had been hunting him for most of his life. "Buy a garage, work on cars. I dunno."

"See" Hope." She flashed him a bright smile and then reached for the door handle. "It's colder than a witch's tit out here. I'm going inside."

"Riley..." He reached over to keep her there a moment longer, touching her sleeve. "You're wrong about me. I do have hope."

"Then quit being so defeatist and let yourself heal, Rhys," her voice was soft and she covered his hand with hers and gave it a tight squeeze.

The simple gesture meant more to him than anything else she could have offered. More than a kiss, more than a hug, more than a roll in the hay. Because it told him that even if she was marrying someone else, she still cared about him. Someone cared. And that was all he really wanted. He nodded his head and took a slow breath, unable to answer for a moment. "You should go inside before you freeze to death."

She smiled and then leaned into him, cupping his cheek with her free hand and planting a kiss right in the corner of his mouth. "Be careful," she whispered, her breath hot against his skin.

He returned her smile, the kiss taking him a little by surprise. It was a chaste, innocent kiss. There was no passion in it, but there was warmth. He felt a bittersweet ache in his heart, knowing that even if she wasn't in love with him, she still cared. "Always," he smirked, pulling away. ?Careful is my middle name."

"I'll see you soon, Handsome," she said and opened the car door, letting in a gust of wind and a tiny snowfall.

He smiled and leaned over to watch her go, calling after her. "Knock 'em dead tomorrow, Ri."

She tossed him a smile over her shoulder and then slipped out of the car. Shutting the door behind her, she blew him a kiss and then disappeared inside the building, her hands shoved into her pockets and shoulders hunched against the wind and cold.

All he could do was watch her go, knowing that whatever they'd once had was over, but they both still cared for each other, and in the end, maybe that was all that was really important.