"Are you okay for now?" he asked, not wanting to pull her away from the bathroom if she was going to be sick again. Either way, it seemed he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. She was either going to spend the next few months sick or drink his blood, and it seemed it was up to him to decide which it would be.

"I haven't got anything left to throw up," she admitted uncomfortably. "Anyway, I can run fast enough to get to the bathroom if I need to. I made it from a sleeping start this time."

He was still frowning as he seemed to consider back and forth, but in all honestly, he'd already decided. There were more pros than cons to allowing her to drink his blood, the baby's birth notwithstanding. Whether Tobias was in earshot or not was unclear. There wasn't much that went on without the older vampire knowing about it. Nick took hold of her hand to lead her back to the bedroom where they could talk in private - or least, where they had the illusion of privacy.

"Bedroom," he told her, though it was obvious where he was headed. Once there, he closed the door behind them, though again, if Tobias wanted to eavesdrop, there wasn't much Nick could do to stop him. He led Willow over to the bed and sat down, tugging her gently down beside him. It would take him a few minutes to find the right words. Linking his fingers with hers, he glanced at their joined hands as he tried to find the words to explain why he'd been so reluctant about following Tobias' advice until now. "I know it sounds stupid, but..." He trailed off with another sigh. "You're still human, Will. You don't have to....do what I do to stay alive, and....I just don't want you to find me disgusting."

Sat down beside him, Willow curled her fingers between his, giving him silence to speak into that didn't judge anything he was about to say. And when he did speak, she found herself genuinely surprised. "Baby, why would I find you disgusting?" she asked, nonplussed by the very idea of that. "It's not stupid, not if it's worrying you so much, but you have to understand ....I've already accepted that things are very different now. Baby, do you remember what happened, why I drank your blood that time?" She withdrew a hand from his to stroke his hair back from his brow tenderly. "You drank from me, and I had to try really hard to get you to do it. I didn't find you disgusting, or frightening, or anything like that. I was kinda turned on by it, and I know you know that." She sighed softly. "Me drinking your blood now ....it's not so different. It brings you closer to our baby, and with any luck, it'll stop me from hurling at every other breath. But it isn't disgusting. It's you."

"It's me, but it's not me. I mean....If I weren't what I am, we'd be having a normal baby, and we wouldn't have to worry about....about something horrible happening when the baby is born. I know there's nothing we can do to change things now. I know we just have to accept what?s happened and move on. I'm just terrified that one day you're going to wake up and look at me and decide I'm a monster. I mean....I'm a vampire, Will. A vampire. And there's nothing romantic or sparkly about it. I have to drink human blood to stay alive. That's the reality of it." Of course, she knew all this already, but it seemed to be taking some time for him to get it into his head that it didn't matter, at least to her.

"Baby, there's no "if" here," Willow told him firmly. "What if is only going to hurt. This is where we are, and what we are, and what is going to happen to us. And I know you don't get it, but I really don't care that you're a vampire. It's what you are, not who you are. What it comes down to is that you're not a monster, I am not afraid of you, and I love you. I trust you. I need you, Nick. And you need to get your head around the fact that being a vampire doesn't matter in the slightest to me. Not at all."

Though he appreciated her reassurance and believed what she was telling him, it did very little to bring him any comfort. The truth was that it wasn't so much what Willow thought of him, but what he thought of himself, and it was going to take some time before he realized he wasn't the monster he thought he was. The problem at the moment, however, wasn't so much about Nick drinking human blood, but Willow drinking vampire blood, and though Nick was reluctant, he was willing to do anything he had to do to ensure the safety of his wife and child. "I know, I know. You keep telling me that. I just wish I could believe it," he admitted at last.

"You don't believe me?" she asked him, just a little hurt by this admission. "After everything we've been through, you don't believe that I'm telling you the truth' Or you just don't want to believe it' Baby, whatever happens, I am going to be like you. You're not a monster, and I don't care that you're a vampire. I'm going to need you to teach me. So you can't think like this, or something will go wrong."

"I know. I keep thinking about Tobias. He's been teaching me how to feed without going too far, without causing the host any harm. But then I think about Josef. He's the real monster, I guess. And Lorelei. I don't know what I would have done if..." He broke off. This was all part of the past, but until Josef was destroyed, they'd never really be safe. "I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you and our daughter and keep you both safe. I promise you that, Willow," he said, meeting her gaze, needing her to understand that she was and always would be the most important thing in his life.

"I know," she promised him, raising her hands to cradle his cheeks, holding his gaze fiercely. "I know that, Nick. It would never occur to me to think anything else. But you're not alone, you don't have to take it all on by yourself. You've got friends who've got your back. Don't forget them trying to take the world on by yourself."

"I won't," he promised, his eyes meeting hers, wishing he could somehow go back in time and change what had happened. Did everything really happen for a reason' Did every dark cloud have a silver lining" He wasn't so sure, but there was no going back, and he'd never been one to wallow in self-pity or dwell on the past. All they could do was accept what had happened, learn how to deal with it, and move on. And they were going to have a daughter. If that wasn't a silver lining, he wasn't sure what was. He drew her hands from his face and pressed a kiss against the palm of each hand, feeling the warmth of her skin, so human against his lips.

She drew in a slow breath, knowing he was wishing for a past that would never be. She sometimes wished for it herself, but Willow had never been one to dwell on the past. Dwelling meant remembering a few things she didn't ever want to go back to, and so she always looked forward. Her hand turned in his, drawing his hand down to where their daughter rested in her womb. "She needs this," she said softly. "And so do you."

"What about you?" he asked, as she drew his hand down to rest against her middle. "You need this, too. I know how sick you've been, and if there's a way I can help, then I need to do do that. I want to do that. I want to help you however I can, Willow," he told her with a sincere look on his face, despite his own fears. The first time would be the hardest, he thought. After that, it would be easier.

"I can....feel her, too," he continued, unsure how else to describe the feeling. There were no words exchanged between them, only a feeling, a knowledge of the other's presence. Though he felt her presence and knew she was there, he wasn't quite sure how to reach back to her, how to share the love he was feeling in his heart for both mother and daughter. If he spoke to her, would she hear him' Would she understand what he was trying to tell her" Were words even necessary"

"Feel her?" Willow frowned, utterly confused by this, not entirely sure what to make of it, despite her eagerness for it to happen. Lauren had said their situation would be unique; perhaps this was something they would have to learn together, without any other opinion or advice. Something that was entirely theirs.

"Yeah, I don't know how to explain it, but I-I can feel her. It's like she knows I'm here. I can feel her reaching out to me, but I don't know how to reach back," he explained, laying a hand against her waist as he listened harder, but it wasn't so much a sound he was listening for, as it was a feeling.

The smile on Willow's face was equal parts relieved and delighted as he told her this, her fingers pausing in his hair before stroking once again. "Maybe you don't have to do anything special," she said softly. "Maybe you just have to feel it, for her to feel it, too."

"Maybe," he replied with a thoughtful frown. He quieted, listening to that slow, quiet thrum somewhere beneath his ear. It wasn't an easy thing for a man who'd built a wall around his heart to keep him safe. Willow was the only one who seemed to hold the key, who seemed able to open the door to his heart and get past the walls that kept him safe and sane from the horrors he'd faced on a daily basis as a homicide detective. This was their daughter that was growing inside her - their daughter, their child, the culmination of their love, and it was more than he could have ever hoped for, despite the circumstances. He tried again, closing his eyes to focus his mind on the beating of her heart, slowly surrendering himself to the feeling of warmth that was enveloping his heart.

Somewhere in the midst of that warmth, that contentment, came a small hint of recognition as he lingered there, wrapped around the wife he loved so well. Recognition that seemed to spur a fresh wave of affection from somewhere inside her, somewhere that wasn't Willow. The heart that answered his belonged to their daughter, a child rare and special, who one day soon would be out there in the world with them, to love and cherish as she grew. And somewhere, in that tiny heart, were the first seeds of love for the parents who were already in love with her.

Somehow Nick seemed to sense that wave of warmth and contentment that bubbled up from somewhere deep inside his wife, like a warm embrace that couldn't be seen but only felt deep in his heart, and for the first time in some weeks, Nick felt overcome with a wave of emotion so strong it brought tears to his eyes. This was only the first time he had attempted to make a connection to their daughter, and already he was feeling an undeniable surge of love fill his heart for the child that was yet to be born. He spoke no words to her, not yet, thought that might come in time, too overcome with emotion at the feelings that were making themselves known inside him, crumbling the wall he'd worked so hard to build around his heart.

Willow watched him, the conduit between the man she loved and their unborn daughter, and felt just a touch of envy for the connection he had obviously made with the tiny baby girl inside her. But she didn't let herself linger on that feeling, trusting in Lauren's words - that when their daughter was big enough, developed enough, then Willow, too, would feel what Nick was feeling right now, and be able to share it. For now, it was a bond she could only help to facilitate, smiling as Nick held on tightly, communicating his heart to an unborn child more fully than he had shared anything in his life before.

He might have envied her the closeness of the bond between mother and child, and yet whatever this connection was that he was feeling with their daughter made him feel as though he was just as much a part of that bond, even if it wasn't a physical one. "I can feel her, Beanie," Nick told his wife quietly as he lifted his head at last to look up at her, tears shining in his hazel-green eyes, unable to hide the look of wonder from his face. "I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel her."

Quiet amazement touched Willow's face as she looked down at him, smoothing her fingertips against his cheek in a tender caress. "Just like Lauren said," she murmured, a wry smile quirking at her lips. "I guess her information's good, huh?" With a small laugh, she leaned down to kiss him. "I can't wait until I can feel her, too."

He smiled back at her through a light haze of tears, laughing a little at his own foolishness, as he returned her kiss. "Yeah, just like she said. I guess we can trust her. Tobias, too. To tell the truth, I kind of like her. She's not what I expected." He sniffled a little and drew a hand across his face to wipe away the tears - happy tears for a change. "Sorry I'm such an *ss sometimes," he apologized for the umpteenth time in the last few days.

She giggled, helping him wipe his cheeks dry as she drew him up onto the bed with her. "You need to stop apologizing, baby," she told him with a faint smirk. "If you keep apologizing for being an *ss, pretty soon it's gonna be all you ever say." Brown eyes twinkled teasingly as she said that, giving him just a moment to take offense before she caught his lips with hers once more. "I'm feeling much better now," she murmured impishly. "I suggest you take advantage of it."

"Are you trying to say that I'm always an *ss?" he asked, though there was a small smirk on his face that showed he took no offense to her remark. "Mmm," he murmured as her lips captured his, sliding his fingers through her hair to push it away from her face. "One advantage of being pregnant is that we don't have to worry about you getting pregnant."

"Just the one advantage," she laughed back to him, lips brushing his with a teasing grin as she drew him down with her to the waiting softness of the bed she had only vacated a little while before. "Let's see if we can make Toby blush."

Nick chuckled as she drew him down to the bed, only too happy to comply with her wishes. "Do you really think we can make a nearly two hundred year old vampire blush?"

Her grin was almost as predatory as he was these days as she pulled him into a deep kiss, fingers clenching in the folds of his shirt. "We can give it a damned good go," she purred softly, infinitely more playful than she had been for weeks, all thanks to one mouthful of his blood. Perhaps she should have gone to the doctor sooner - they might have come to this conclusion a little more speedily.

Though they might have reached that conclusion a little sooner, Nick thought it was better late than never. He still wasn't that thrilled about her drinking his blood, but it seemed to have helped, and that was all that really mattered. The wound to his wrist had already healed, as if nothing had even happened. He smiled as his hands reached beneath her shirt, more than ready to meet the challenge at making the old vampire blush. "I'm up for that," he replied, and without another word, he proved to her that he meant what he said.

((How to dose your pregnant wife with vampire blood 101. :grin: Many thanks to Nick's player!))