"We are such stuff As dreams are made on; and our little life Is rounded with a sleep."

The Tempest Act 4, scene 1, 156"158

Rhys had discovered the small gym in Riley's dance studio. It was complete with a punching bag, which was just the thing he needed right now to take out his frustrations. He'd done a little boxing back in NYC and he and John had even done a little street fighting. He hadn't put gloves on in years, but it was like riding a bike; a skill once learned that you didn't easily forget.

After going home and grumbling blackly under her breath for an hour while she folded 28 of the 1000 paper cranes needed for the wedding, Riley calmed down enough to think rationally." Yes, she was angry and hurt and confused, but she'd had more than a year to process all of those feelings." Rhys had had, what?" A few weeks?" He deserved an apology and an attempt at real, rational communication." After all, their lives most likely depended upon it. So, after changing out of the dress and heels she'd been wearing and into jogging pants and a hooded sweatshirt, she kissed David and headed out to track Rhys down and apologise profusely." Well, okay, not profusely, but as much as she felt was appropriate.

He had taped his hands beneath the gloves to protect them and he'd changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of which were damp with sweat. He had tuned everything out around him and was completely focused on that bag, all of his anger and frustration and pain going into the punches. Logically, Rhys knew none of this was Riley's fault anymore than it was his. He blamed the demons for everything, like he always did. They'd given him the shaft most of his life, and he was ready for some serious revenge, starting with either Na'amah or Lilith. He wasn't sure which."

She headed first to the Gardens, hoping that he'd just gone home after leaving the Inn earlier." He could have gone somewhere else to drink, and that meant that she'd just have to follow his scent all over town." It was a little too cold to do that, so she told herself that if he wasn't there, she'd hang out in the Studio's office and look over the books while she waited for him to come home.

He'd actually stayed at the inn and had finally gotten a beer, chatting up a cute blond named Quinn before finally heading back to his apartment, but he kept going back to the argument with Riley and too wired to sleep, he'd finally gone to the Studios, where David had told him he was welcome to use the equipment.

Stepping into the ground floor hallway, she first heard the steady, rhythmic pounding of someone using the heavy bag and then caught Rhys's scent." She smirked; at least he was doing something healthy to burn off all that anger." She half expected to find him three sheets to the wind or in bed with a random girl." The corners of her mouth pulled down at that thought, but she shoved it away; she didn't have claim on him anymore." What - and who " he did was his own concern.

He'd been throwing punches at that stupid bag for over half an hour and though he'd worked up a sweat, he didn't feel even close to being ready to stop. He was totally focused on what he was doing. If he could direct that same focus and determination toward his problems, he might be a lot better off. He hadn't talked to anyone about what was going on in his head. He'd only lightly touched on his past and problems with' Aurelia, not wanting to go down that road. While he was clearly hurting over losing Riley, the loss of Patrick had only broken his heart.

He'd tried to rationalize things. He knew David was good for Riley. Safe. Supportive. But he hadn't had much time to come to grips with it all, and he couldn't deny that he was still deeply in love with her, despite all their problems. Time, they say, heals all wounds, but he wasn't sure he was going to survive this time and he wasn't sure he wanted to. If his destiny and his purpose was to protect her, he'd do that, even if it killed him, and then there would be peace.

She slipped into the Studios, lingering in the doorway to the dance/bagua room, and watched him carefully before announcing her presence." Her heart felt like it was suddenly constricted in a vise and it was difficult to draw a breath." For months, she'd shut her heart away, keeping everyone she knew at arm's length while she waited to hear what had been his fate." Then, when she found she couldn't take it anymore and had to let go and move on, Gina told her that he was alive...but didn't remember anything." She thought that knowing for certain that he had been killed would have been the worst thing she could have heard, but she was wrong." Learning that he didn't remember her, or Patrick, or John was beyond heart-breaking." And now..." Now he was here, in Rhy'Din, with all of his memories back and she found that with them came back all the feelings she thought she'd buried deeply. Finally unable to stand it any longer, she rapped firmly on the door frame and cleared her throat." "Uh..." Am I bothering you?" she asked.

Unlike her, he didn't sense her presence. He was too focused, too lost in his own thoughts, slamming away at that punching bag as if it would somehow make things all better. The pain was still there, fresh, raw, and close to the surface. As hard as he tried to bury it, ignore it, focus on what needed to be done, as soon as he was in the same room as Riley and especially when she was with David, the wound in his heart was reopened."

Somehow her voice broke through the disarray of thoughts and feelings, her sudden presence unexpected, to say the least. He caught the bag with one gloved hand and turned his head toward her, the anger and grief apparent on his face for a moment before he threw up a wall to hide his feelings. "What are you doing here?" He didn't mean the question to come out sounding rude, but he had trouble keeping the pain from his voice.

That pain and grief that showed on his face for a split-second stabbed straight at her heart and made her want to lash out in anger at him, to hurt him as much as he'd hurt her by daring to look at her like that." Instead, though, she closed her eyes, counted slowly to five, and then said in a relatively level, calm voice, "I wanted to see if you....if your hand was okay." And..." I wanted to apologise, too."

If he was okay. No, he wasn't okay. He wasn't ever going to be okay. He didn't mean to hurt her, didn't want to hurt her or make things worse, but he rarely thought before he spoke and words spilled out that he didn't mean to say. "I'm fine, Ri. And you don't have anything to apologize for." His hand was still on the punching bag, and now that she was there, all the anger and the fight went out of him. He wanted to take her in his arms and remind her what they'd once meant to each other. He couldn't, though. She no longer belonged to him; she belonged to someone else and with that thought he turned away, so she couldn't see the feelings that were written all over his face.

She shook her head and crossed her arms loosely over her stomach, still leaning against the door frame." "I do, though." I was...selfish and just plain mean earlier tonight.?" She tried on a smile, but found it didn't fit, so she let it go." "There was no reason for me to behave like that.? As difficult as this is on me, it's gotta be a thousand times worse for you."

"It's not infected." He remarked needlessly after she'd sniffed it. He wondered if she could sense anything else from him besides the scent of fresh blood. Could she tell that when she touched him, his pulse quickened or that his blood pressure was slightly elevated" "You wanna check out my wheels" I won her in a poker game."

She knew everything he was feeling the instant he felt it, maybe even before he himself realised." She could hear his blood in his veins, his heart hammering against his ribs." She could taste his fear, his desire, his anger." It excited the feral, primal passenger in her brain. "Where do you park around here?" And how do you keep the Makos from stealing it?"

He smirked at her question. "That's my little secret." He shoved his stuff in his bag and slung it over a shoulder. "I've got coffee and donuts if you're hungry."

She shook her head." "I'm fine." Lead the way."

"Your old apartment, isn't it?" He left the studio and made his way to the stairs.

"Fiora gave you 2A?"" She followed him up the stairs, footfalls silent on the tiled floor and the treads of the stairs.

"3A. You were in 2A?" He made enough noise for both of them, wearing sneakers of all things, which squeaked on their way up the stairs. He unlocked the door and pushed his way inside, holding it open for her.

She slipped inside, casting a quick look around, weighing the scents that assaulted her nose." "Yeah, right below you." David lived next door to here, though," she nodded towards the wall behind the kitchen.

The apartment was about as well kept as any average bachelor pad. He hadn't done much in the way of decoration, and amazingly there was no salt line across the door. He'd learned early on that the place was warded, just like John's place had been, and that salt was unnecessary. There were dirty dishes in the sink, half a pot of coffee, a box of donuts, a pile of books and a girlie mag on the table. He dropped his bag on the couch and started toward the bathroom to fetch his medical supplies, though he thought it was kind of silly to bandage up his hand when he was probably going to unbandage it and take a shower as soon as she left. "Make yourself at home."

She smirked at the porn." Same old Rhys." Deacon still had the stash that had come out of the back of the Mustang." She went and perched on the edge of the couch, unzipping her hoodie and shrugging it off." Running a hand through her hair to fluff it up " a sure sign of her nerves " she stared fixedly at the blank wall between the huge windows that faced the river and the docks." "I really should have put fire places in all of these units," she said idly, just to have something to say.

"Did you have them built?" he called from the bathroom amidst the sound of rummaging.

"Not exactly." I gutted the building and then remodeled the entire place entirely." Have you been up to the roof yet?"

After a moment, he came back with a small box of medical supplies. "No, should I?"

She nodded and reached out for the kit." "There's a Japanese meditation garden up there." Sakura trees, a moss garden, fountains, a Buddha shrine." There should be a telescope set up, too."

Now, that got his attention. Though he was afraid of flying, he'd always loved looking at the stars. The sky fascinated him. He wondered if she remembered that. He arched a brow. "A telescope. Can you see Earth from here?" The Rhydin sky was a lot different than back home.

She chuckled a little." "Not that I know of." None of the constellations have names that I've discovered." I've been making them up." There's the Milk Jug, the Sig Sauer, the Snake, and the Teddy Bear."

He dropped down beside her, a little too close, and handed her the kit, his face brightening, almost like a kid on Christmas. "Really' You have to show me sometime."

"I'd love..." I'd really like that.?" She turned sideways, opening the kit to root around in it, trying to pay no attention to his nearness, the scent of him, a scent that had meant home to her for so long." She took out a roll of gauze and some tape and then reached for his hand, refusing to meet his eyes for fear of him seeing the desire brimming in her caramel depths.

"Why'd you come see me?" he asked, watching her as she worked on his hand, trying to read her. "In New York, I mean."

She worked silently for a moment and then answered, "Because I thought you were dead.?" And that thought made me want to die, too." "I didn't go to John's funeral; I was still in the hospital and the doctors wouldn't release me for travel." I thought I should see Gina and tell her why I wasn't there and pay my respects to Janet, too." She took a deep breath, taped the gauze and then began cleaning up." "She told me you'd been in a car accident, in Flagstaff of all places, but that you were back in Brooklyn." I had to see you.?" She looked up at him, unshed tears swimming in her eyes." "I had to know that you were okay."

He frowned, watching her face while she focused on his hand and then she was looking back at him with tears in her eyes and he felt like his heart was torn in two. "I didn't remember you then. I knew who you were from pictures, but you were just a name and a face and I....I wish I'd known. I wish I'd remembered." He wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her close, wipe the tears from her face, comfort her and keep her safe forever. Wasn't that what he'd been born for" It was all so terribly unfair.

She nodded, lingered on the couch for a dangerous moment, and then stood up, the kit in one hand." "This goes in your bathroom?"

"I love you," he whispered in his head, but the words got stuck somewhere between his head and his lips and he only nodded. Of course it went in his bathroom. She was obviously changing the subject, feeling as awkward as he was. Christ, how'd they ended up this way"

He let her go, though he wanted to pull her against him, longed to kiss her, to claim her once again as his. He could no longer pretend. The walls came crashing down, green eyes betraying his pain, his confusion, his longing. His lips moved silently a moment and when he finally found his voice, it was gruff with emotion. "Why are you marrying him when you're still in love with me?" There was a catch in his voice when he asked the question, afraid of the answer, almost knowing what she'd say. Because he's safe, Rhys. Because he's not you.

"Because you were dead." Because you didn't remember me." Because you were on another world.?" She hugged herself tightly and glanced off to the side, her eyes falling on the shrine." She stared at it, as if she expected the Buddha or Kannon to come to life and tell her what to do.

"But I'm not any of those things now." He reached for her, pulling her toward him, even though he knew he shouldn't. He grazed her cheek with his fingers and turned her to face him. "I'm here. And I remember everything. And I love you." His heart felt so full of love for her in that moment, he thought it would burst. He held his breath as he looked at her, searching those caramel depths for any hint of affection, any fragment of hope.

She gave him a sad look and gently disentangled herself from his embrace." "Rhys..." I'm not..." I'm not your Riley anymore." I'm not the same person I was then." I...will always love you, always until the day I die." But...?" She shook her head, not finishing the sentence." "I really should go."

No, she loved him. He knew she loved him. Somewhere inside her, the Riley he'd once loved and cherished was still there. He wasn't going to let her just walk out of his life again, like before. Not without her knowing what it was she might be missing. He slipped his arms around her waist and dipped his head to press his lips against hers. She might fight it, she might push him away, but he'd be damned if she was going to walk away from him without remembering what they'd once had and what they could have again.

She went utterly still in his arms for a split second before she found herself earnestly kissing him back, throwing all the fire and the heat she still felt for him into that kiss." She let it go for half a minute before breaking it and saying softly, "No, Rhys." We can't." It's...it's not fair."

He lost himself to that kiss, utterly lost in her embrace, lost in the memory of what they'd once had, what he wanted again. His heart sank when she broke away, though he still held her in his arms. She felt so right there. It was where he wanted her to stay. "Not fair to who' David" What about us, Ri" What about what?s fair to us" Don't tell me you don't love me." It wasn't fair that they couldn't be together. That's what wasn't fair. He'd been born for her, damn it. She was his destiny.

"It's not fair to any of us, Rhys." I do love you; I will always love you." But you're..." You're not a part of my life anymore." I have a new life that's just beginning here, with David.?" She swallowed and the tears that had been threatening all night finally spilled over, to fall hot and angry on the snow-covered ground at her feet." "Please, Rhys." Don't make this harder than it already is.?" She was pleading with him now.

There was no point in him telling her anything else. She'd already made her choice, for whatever reason. It didn't matter that he loved her more than life itself. It didn't matter that he'd been born only to be with her. It didn't matter that he couldn't bear to live without her. None of it seemed to matter. Was she afraid of hurting David or was she afraid of something else? He reached up to gently brush the tears from her face, trying to offer a reassuring smile. He'd be the strong one then, if that's what she wanted. "He's good for you, you know. He makes you happy." As if to say all he ever did was make her miserable. They'd fought like cats and dogs, but hadn't they loved each other, too"

She took a step back, her hand coming up to block his as he reached for her." She took it, squeezed it briefly and then let it go." She nodded, agreeing with his words." "He is..." He's put up with a lot of crap from me....from the weirdness that is my life."

He felt like his heart was breaking all over again, but he said nothing. His hand dropped. Did she want him to fight for her or just give up" He didn't feel like he had much choice. It seemed ironic somehow that she'd found someone who accepted her and all the weirdness in her life while she pushed him away.

She blew out a breath, a plume of crystalline air rising in the sky." Raking a hand through her hair, she moved further away from him, putting a safe distance between them." She silently studied a sakura tree while she collected herself and wrestled Jaguar back into Her cage.

"I can't stay here. When this is over, I'm leaving. I can't..." He took a breath, breaking off, unable to finish the rest. He couldn't stay here, living on the periphery of her life, watching her live her happily ever after with David, while his heart was bleeding, torn and shredded.

She nodded." "I know," she said softly, though it tore her up to admit it." "I'll help you get back."

He'd do what he had to do to finish it, to keep her safe, and then....he didn't know. But he couldn't stay here, he couldn't live in David's shadow. He only nodded as she agreed, wishing she'd talk him out of it, talk him into staying, find a place somewhere in her life for him.

She licked her lips, shoved away the feelings being near him had stirred up, and turned back to face him." She took a deep breath and put on her game face. "We need to sit down and talk about what?s happening." You need to stop holding back whatever you know." It's...it's dangerous for us to keep things from each other."

He was still too caught up in his emotions to speak or even think clearly. He only nodded again, feeling empty inside. There were things he knew that he didn't want her to know. And then there were the things she didn't believe or want to believe.

She clenched her jaw, the muscles in the corners bunching tightly." "I'm gonna go." Just...catch me when I'm in the Studio and let me know when you want to come over." Or if you want us to come here." All right?"

"There's only one Lucifer." He stopped outside his door, unsure if she wanted to come back inside or if she was leaving like she said she was.

She nodded slowly." "There's..." There's really a lot for me to adjust to, Rhys."

He desperately wanted her to stay, but he was trying not to think about that now. He was trying to let the hunter take over, but then she looked vulnerable again. He took a chance and brushed a hand against her cheek. "I'm not gonna let them hurt you again. You have to trust me, Ri. You have to have faith in me."

She smiled softly and reached up to cover his hand with her own for a moment before moving away from him a little bit." "Faith's a hard thing for me to have, Rhys." I'm a lawyer." I don't deal in faith; I deal in fact."

"I came here for you, Riley. It's why I'm here. It's the only reason I'm here." He hadn't meant to tell her that, but she needed to know that if there was anyone she could count on it was him.

"You were sent here for some unfathomable reason that neither of us understand," she corrected him."

He smiled a little bit sadly and shook his head. "You're the reason."

She snorted softly, more an exhalation of breath than anything else." She stepped closer to him, meaning to kiss his cheek and say good-bye, but caught herself at the last moment." Kissing him again so soon after what had happened on the roof was far too dangerous, so she just patted him awkwardly on the arm." "The three of us need to have a pow wow soon." Jaguar made Her presence known once more, angry at being kept in Her cage when Rhys was so close." She wanted to tear the door off its hinges and drag Rhys into the loft, rip their clothes off and go at it, hammer and tongs." The colour of her eyes shifted from caramel to amber for a second before Riley won the battle and the Cat was stuffed back into the cage once more." "I gotta go," she said hurriedly and turned away, moving to the stairs that led down to the street.

"A pow wow, right. I'll see if I can find a pipe. And uh....some head dress or something." He had that stupid smirk on his face again, trying to make light of things with a joke. The smirk quickly faded when she hurried away. He thought he'd caught a glimpse of a change in eye color and thought he knew what it meant. She had her secrets, it seemed, just as he had his. Maybe she'd tell him in time. She said she was different, but everything was different now.

She looked up at him once more, giving him the patented O'Rourke lopsided smile." "See you soon," she said, before heading down the stairs with silent speed. She hit the building's front doors harder than was perhaps necessary and sprinted out into the street." Tucking her head down and pulling her elbows in close to her body, she set out at a ground-eating pace, running back to Twin Oaks, her breath escaping her lips in time with her footfalls, the word "f*ck" repeated with each step.

He watched her go, making no attempt to chase after her. There wasn't much point. She'd made her feelings clear. She was committed to David, no matter how she felt about him. He found himself climbing the stairs to the roof again. He'd remain there until he couldn't stand the cold anymore, letting the wind dry his tears, with no one to witness but an angel on his shoulder he wasn't even sure was really there.